Julian’s Curse

The Not so Last Goodbye

I watched Jess clean her desk, shying away from her gaze all the while. I didn’t know how Amanda had found out, but she’d fired her minutes ago through an email to the entire office.

Neither I nor Sophie had said anything to our boss, but Misha’s omnipresence seemed a viable explanation. It was the first time in my career that I was grateful to him; despite him being a spineless sycophant, he’d taken Sophie’s side in this. She had suffered too much over Mark’s implied infidelity. Because of Jess’s cruel lie, the two of them had broken up for at least a year, a painful period for a fragile heart like hers. And this wasn’t an analogy. I’d only recently discovered that Sophie suffered from cardiac arrhythmia, and in her case, it was serious enough to kill her.

Jess finished filling her stationery box, and then began to walk in my direction, her eyes locked on mine. She tossed her long blonde hair over her shoulder, in desire to possibly shake off the entire situation. I’d need to face her, and I dreaded it.

“Lucie,” her voice trembled, looking like she was about to begin sobbing. “I’m sorry for what I did.” With mascara streaming down her face, she looked almost pitiful. I’d been there a few times myself, though never because I’d attempted a scheme straight out of Mean Girls .

I nodded. “I’m not the one you need to apologize, Jess.”

“I tried to text Sophie, but she’s not responding,” she muttered dejectedly.

Some things were better left be, and this was probably one of them. An apology when she’d already been caught would not have seemed genuine. Besides, I wasn’t reading any true remorse in her energy. She’d probably still date Mark if she could manipulate him into it.

“Would it be okay if I listed you as a work reference?” Her eyebrows shot up hopefully.

I looked away from her raccoon eyes, then let out a breath in frustration. Of course, she had an agenda for this conversation; just another reason to be glad that she was on her way out.

“Jess, I don’t think you want to do that. I don’t have anything good to say.” I couldn’t believe how much I sounded like Amanda Hart, our draconian boss. It gave me a little bit of guilty satisfaction.

“Never mind,” she sulked, then headed toward the door and kicked it in annoyance. The Christmas snow globe that she used to keep on her desk, despite it being summer, fell to the ground with a thud, glass splintering everywhere. The uniformed man working nearby jerked at the sound, then lifted his head to identify the cause.

“Jess?” I called her name one last time, halting her in her tracks. “I’ll tell Sophie you said you’re sorry. It may be best if you leave her alone, though.” I narrowed my eyes to let her know it was a warning.

I suddenly became conscious of our coworkers watching us, and while a part of me was used to attention at this point, I hadn’t been able to tune it out this time around. I glanced at my screen, seeing the office chat now blowing up with supportive emojis. Almost everyone could feel the bitter sting of Sophie’s absence. There was nobody to restock office coffee or organize potlucks, and there would be no more work parties at Sophie’s lavish Coronado mansion. Most importantly, everyone’s best friend disappeared from our routine.

Jess hesitated, her brow furrowed as though she were still wondering what to do about the literal and figurative mess that she was leaving behind, then murmured a brief “thanks” before disappearing through the exit.

Seconds later, more uniformed workers arrived to help with the installation of a camera system and a metal detector, Amanda’s newest security decisions.

I’d become a high maintenance hire, but I also knew that it was not the emotion that Amanda wanted me to feel. When I had started working at Apogee , San Diego’s largest lifestyle magazine, we’d been pulling in an annual revenue of around $200 million a year. Since then, it had almost tripled with business pouring in, some of it being the result of Julian’s indirect association with the magazine, some part of it hopefully being due to my workaholism — but there was no way to deny that becoming his girlfriend had skyrocketed my career, whether I liked it or not.

Amanda though, was a force to reckon with as well—she’d nurtured this extra gas pedal and maintained the momentum, while involving a few tech companies in the launch of a new lifestyle app, a savvy business move that crowned Apogee a billion-dollar venture. As a result, my salary had quadrupled, and another raise for me was not out of the realm of possibility. It was starting to feel like nothing was out of the realm of possibility these days.

I no longer had a problem paying for my student loans, groceries, or anything whatsoever – a stark contrast with my first year in San Diego. My professional life felt phenomenal, except for the fact that Sophie had left a void behind. But I had to be joyful for her because she was pursuing a career in real estate, a smart choice for someone with her skillset and background. Argh, real estate had never been the field that I’d been interested in—yet it had shaped my life so much already. And I was learning a lot about it from Julian, enough to understand most of his business jargon, enough to know that it was interesting now to me too, to learn about how exactly he’d built such an empire in it.

I was about to delve back into work when I spotted a twiggy Black female barrel through the glass door. She seemed petite, in comparison to the two suitcases alongside her and the heavy bag she was carrying, making me wonder how she’d transported it all up by herself. Not noticing the glass on the ground, she passed through it, the suitcase making a cracking sound as it rolled over it.

I was about to go help her when she halted in her tracks.

“Lucie, right?” She wiped her forehead. “Thank goodness that I didn’t have to go far.”

“Yes, hi, can I direct you somewhere?” I walked toward her to assist with her items.

“Appreciate the hand. I am Kali, the new assistant,” she examined me closely. “Mandy, I mean Amanda, said that I am to report to you.”

Amanda had left for a fashion show in Milan that same morning, and she hadn’t given any heads-up about a new hire before she left. But I’d grown accustomed to the fact that working for her often meant flying by the seat of my pants. “Yes, definitely, we were expecting you,” I tried to sound more confident than I felt. As I spoke, my mind quickly ran through the checklist of how I’d approach this unexpected onboarding.

The simplest solution seemed to be seating Kali next to me, so I pointed to Sophie’s old desk and offered it to her. At the same time, I silently cursed the fact that Rebecca, our office whiz, had started grad school and was no longer around to help with the usual username and system setup.

“Don’t sweat the details,” Kali grinned, sensing my stress as I stumbled through my thoughts. Her easy smile helped to calm some of the panic rising in me, especially since I had no clear plan of what steps to take next.

“This is actually the first time I’m helping a new hire,” I admitted. “Are you friends with Amanda?” I queried, noting that she had called her Mandy. It felt like the perfect way to kick off some light conversation. As an introvert, I still sometimes struggled to avoid being awkward in introductions, but it had definitely gotten easier with practice.

“We went to school together. She’s helping me because I fell on hard times.” She hinted, while she tugged her suitcases toward her new desk. I couldn’t help but wonder if she had come straight from the airport. Kali seemed to shy away from my gaze, and I sensed there was a lot of unspoken pain behind her words. But I didn’t think it was my place to press for more details. Maybe, at some point, she’d share more when she felt ready.

“I also started here when I was also going through a tough period. My career at Apogee turned my life around.” I shared with her, reminiscent of the prior year. “Here,” I handed her my old welcome package. “This stack is a great place to start.”

My phone dinged, and I remembered it was almost three o’clock. I would be running late for my lunch with Julian. Still, I needed to pay attention to Kali now that she’d just arrived.

“There’s answer keys in the back of it,” I let her know. “I am going to go figure out your new log in, then help you get started on our welcome modules.”

She settled into her seat. “Thanks Lucie. I appreciate you so much.”

“Can I offer you water or coffee?” I asked, hoping we still had a few Keurig cups left. I’d been meaning to figure out how to use our Office Depot account and place an order, but with the launch of the app, I’d found myself juggling more responsibilities than time allowed.

“I drank coffee on my way here, but thank you,” Kali blinked thoughtfully at me. Her deep brown skin and sharp, graceful features caught the light as she spoke, and her dark eyes had an almost perceptive quality, as if she was processing everything in the room. She then nodded toward the uniformed workers setting up the metal detectors. “An unusual precaution for a magazine entrance, isn’t it? We had these at my old school in the Bronx.”

I smiled inwardly. “Is that where you’re from?”

“New York, yeah.” She said with an East Coast accent that I should have recognized before.

“Amanda wants to be careful,” I explained, leaving myself out of it. It occurred to me that Kali had no preconceived notions of me – at least not like most strangers on the street. She didn’t look at me with the same curiosity as the people that knew me from magazines. It was so refreshing that for an instant, I wondered if this was how Julian had felt when he’d first met me. Free to be himself. Free to escape the headlines of tabloids that oftentimes crushed us both.

“And you?” She turned the conversation to me.

“Seattle. Now southern California is home, though.” I missed Gram, but I could picture myself staying in San Diego for the rest of my life. If I could take care of her somehow. Would she be open to coming here eventually?

“Nothing beats the weather, right?”

“Yeah, it’s a treat to live here.” I hoped it would lift her mood about whatever she was going through. “I’ll be back in a moment with your log in info.” I rushed out to find Greg from our helpdesk team, while I checked my phone again to update Julian on my delay.

Work with me and you’ll never be late for lunch with the boss , he’d already texted.

I felt relieved that he wasn’t upset with me.

I am so sorry. I am unexpectedly helping a new hire here. I’ll see you in twenty minutes. I was almost at Greg’s desk, so I shoved my phone in my pocket. I hoped that Julian wouldn’t feel hurt that I’d almost stood him up, but I’d promised Amanda no leniencies. And everyone else would have postponed their lunch in this situation, so I really had no choice…

‘Hi Greg.” I slid into the chair next to his desk. “Can you help me with a username set up?”

Per the items on his table, he’d just finished a lunch of Pad Thai, and was now washing it down with a mega sized orange soda. His nursing schoolbooks took up all the rest of the space, leading me to believe that he’d been studying on his lunch break. Or maybe around it too.

“Sure, Lucie. What’s her name?” He rotated his chair toward me, then grinned at me like I’d become a welcome distraction.

“Kali,” I frowned at the lack of info I’d given him. “Will we be able to find her in the system based on just that?”

He gave me a smug smile. “Sure, let me check. We should be able to figure this out.” He loaded our CRM, while I sat and waited. Greg was always willing to help me because I’d saved him from Amanda’s rage on several occasions. I finally relaxed, but not for too long.

My phone vibrated, so I pulled it out of my pocket to check the call, expecting to see Julian’s caller ID. But it wasn’t him this time around.

Bradley? I hadn’t heard from him since he’d left for Hawaii. Last year, we’d almost gotten into a relationship, but then both of us recognized that our hearts belonged to other unavailable people. I’d wanted to give him space to figure things out with his ex-wife, that’s why I hadn’t reached out for months. His mechanic shop had remained closed, and he’d prolonged his trip, so things were possibly going well there.

And there was also another reason — a more selfish one — I didn’t want Julian to feel hurt. We’d been trying to rebuild something that had taken a lot of badgering, and I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize it. So, I let the call go to voicemail; this wasn’t the right moment for such a personal conversation. I’d call him as soon as I could. Bradley and I shared such a deep connection that we could easily pick up where we left off.

“Here, Lucie.” Greg scribbled Kali’s log in info and shot me a victorious glance.

“I owe you.” I beamed.

“Not that you have to, but if you can get me into one of Sophie’s parties…” He flushed crimson.

I laughed. “Yeah, I know. I miss her too. I think if you’re fine schmoozing with a bunch of top producing agents, I may be able to. She’s only partying in bougie circles these days, so be prepared for a different crowd.”

He made a sour face. “My girlfriend loves her parties, but I don’t know about that. May be too pompous of a gathering for my taste.”

“Hey, you’re going to be a nurse. That’s way more impressive than selling properties,” I encouraged him because he needed to hear that. Taking night classes with our job had to be insane.

Someone cleared their throat behind us. I didn’t need to turn around to know who it was—our connection made it unmistakable. His scent drifted to me, intoxicating as always, a blend of his unique aroma and a rich, woodsy cologne with a subtle hint of spice. It was the same cologne I’d noticed that morning, lingering in the air after the embrace I’d held onto as long as I could without risking being late for work.

“Hope I am not interrupting,” Julian alerted us of his presence by clearing his throat. He had probably given up on waiting at the restaurant, and I couldn’t blame him for it.

A bit embarrassed that I’d been so late, I flashed him a warm smile. Even after three months of us newly together, I still felt the need to rub my eyes each time he reappeared. It all felt like a dream. Like I’d gotten drunk, passed out in my apartment, and had dreamt it all up. But if this were the case and I was still dreaming, I’d make the most of its vividness.

He looked salacious without making any effort in his tailored dark suit that hugged his tall frame. It seemed that he’d just gotten his haircut before our date, brushing his thick brown hair to spike up in the middle, shorter on the sides, his usual signature look. “Hi Greg, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on your conversation.” My boyfriend’s lips curled into a smile that oozed the kind of sex appeal you’d expect from a movie star.

“We weren’t just talking about the people in real estate,” Greg attempted to save the situation. “More like the type of people that Sophie hangs out with now.”

I tried not to laugh at how he was suddenly embarrassed, while Julian’s attention darted to me. I’d worn a tightfitting black dress to work and while it was tasteful, it showed off my curves in all the right places. He gave it a predatory glimmer, then kissed me hello. “I didn’t think you’d make lunch, so I grabbed you some takeout.” He handed me a paper bag from the restaurant. His mouth split in a wicked grin of delight at my surprised look.

“You know what Lucie, I’ll go give the info to Kali.” Greg grabbed the piece of paper he’d provided to me earlier and left us to it. I didn’t even have time to thank him with how fast he’d disappeared to give us a moment.

But we were still in open space, so I’d become painfully aware of the attention that this visit had gotten me. The staff looked unnaturally glued to their screens, and the office seemed too quiet for a day when Amanda was not around.

“Really sorry,” I accepted the food with gratitude. My mouth suddenly felt dry because of the buzz that my boyfriend had created. A part of me was surprised there wasn’t a line of office staff waiting outside the door just to get his signature.

“Just meant to come by and say I love you,” his hand slid to my upper thigh, fingers curving in. It made me feel hot and heavy, as every thought eddied from my head except one. “I love you too.”

“Are you okay after yesterday?”

I examined his signature luxurious Breitling, an item that had now become nostalgic to me, then lifted my eyes to meet his. When we were exiting his office, a frantic fan had pushed me into a barrier.

“Yeah, not a single bruise,” I assured him. “I am tougher than you think I am.”

He still looked concerned. “Lucie, after everything that happened last year, I want to make sure that you are safe. I know passion is pushing you to work here, but it’s risky regardless of metal detectors and cameras.”

He still carried the guilt of my suffering, but he didn’t need to. While one of Julian’s business deals had made me a target for a contract killer, it had never been his fault.

My throat tightened. “Amanda knows what she’s doing.”

He kept his lethal focus on me. If we walked a dangerous line together, so be it. I wouldn’t surrender all my freedom. Yes, I’d made concessions, but I refused to live in total isolation. At my age, I had to have some independence.

“While Tarnakis and Niccolo are both in jail, there’s always going to be the possibility that someone will want to get at me through you.” He half-whispered so nobody could hear him.

“Julian, I am not afraid,” I squeezed his hand gently. The sun glinted through the windows, and I wasn’t willing to let anything ruin my inner peace. I’d just barely found my balance. “I am happy here.” In the corporate world he despised.

He nodded. “I have to go back to the office for a board meeting, but I’ll see you for dinner?”

Lately the two of us had gotten more into home-cooking, and I loved these cozy nights of staying in. “Definitely. Let’s make something French. From my Gram’s cookbook,” I suggested. This was the normalcy of our relationship that I craved the most. “Again, I am sorry for being so late today.”

“No big deal, I just wanted to see you.” He squeezed my hand.

“I am glad you came to find me.”

Visibly content with my answer, he pecked me on the cheek for a goodbye. I never liked seeing Julian walk away, not after he had almost died in a shooting, and not after I’d believed that I’d never see him again. But just like I had to work, he had to keep growing his business. Not because of money, but because of purpose. Entrepreneurial success for him was a fuel to his existence, just like writing at Apogee was a fuel of mine.

Since Greg had volunteered to help Kali, I’d gained some time. Pensive, I carried my lunch into the meeting room and decided to eat it there in solitude. It was the only place where I could avoid the hard stares that would come after such a visit. It had convenient blinds that I could pull down. After a long day of stop and go, this was the silence that I needed.

I locked the door behind me, knowing from the reservation sheet that nobody would need the room anytime soon. Famished, I opened the paper bag, and alongside my usual lunch order and fresh squeezed lemonade, I found a note written on a napkin.

I can’t wait to take off that dress and cherish what’s underneath. Love you. Julian.

There wasn’t anybody more perfect than him, not for me. I’d never been in a place in my life when everything was this harmonious. So, I ate some of my food and browsed my phone for mindless media. I wanted to relish the sweet moment of doing nothing.

Bored with my newsfeed, I suddenly recalled Bradley’s call and realized this quiet moment might be the ideal time to return it. I didn’t want to wait too long, especially since I cared about him so much. With that thought, I dialed his number, hoping to hear good news. He answered on the second ring.

“Hey, Lucie.”

I’d missed his deep pleasant voice. It felt striking to hear it again.

“How is everything in Hawaii?” First, I felt the urge to explain my recent distance. “I didn’t want to bother you while there. I felt that you needed some time for yourself.” I half-apologized.

He’d gone silent, but an answer came eventually.

“No, don’t be a stranger. I miss you like hell, especially when I go out to eat sushi.” He effortlessly shifted the conversation into a lighthearted one.

Way to tease me. The two of us could crush pounds of sashimi together.

“Overnight me some Zippy’s,” I joked, my craving for the homestyle restaurant’s mac salad still strong from my visit to Honolulu. “And those butter cheese sandwiches they make; they are still in my vivid memory.”

I heard a laugh, then the phone connection started to get spotty. He spoke, but I couldn’t understand it.

“Bradley, you’re cutting off. Maybe try another part of your house?”