Ryker
RYKER
Mom smiles at me nervously when I approach her and take a seat on the other side of the table.
We study each other silently for a little bit until she says, “Thank you for coming.”
“You should probably thank Lake for me being here.”
“I figured. I’ll do that.” She nods toward the two cups of coffee. “I ordered for you.”
“Thank you.”
My mom and I have always been close, so the lengthy silence that stretches between us is new and unwelcome.
Eventually she sighs. “You know I support you no matter what, right?”
“Yesterday wasn’t very supportive.”
“I know, and I apologize for that. I concentrated on the wrong thing and didn’t say what really mattered.”
I mull the words over for a bit. “Which is?”
“That I love you. That I’m happy for you. That I’m happy you’re happy. That Lake is a wonderful boy.”
I lift my chin. “He is.”
“I know he is, darling,” she says.
“Then what’s the problem?”
She spends a long time looking for words.
“I’m your mother,” she finally says.
“I’m aware.”
She ignores the sarcastic tone.
“Which means I worry,” she says. “I can’t help it. It comes with the territory when you’re a parent.”
I don’t say anything to that, I just wait.
“You’re my kid. I know you’re a grown-ass adult, too. I know. But you’ll always be my kid first and foremost, and whenever I even think about somebody causing you any harm or distress it makes me incredibly angry.”
“Okay?” I say slowly.
“I’m a planner. You know that. So, it also makes me try and figure out ways to prevent that outcome. I have a lot of scenarios in my head, ranging from probable to unlikely to ludicrous, and I’m trying to devise damage control strategies for each one before I even know if it’s going to happen.”
“This is not business. It’s my life.”
“I know that.”
“Do you? Are you sure? Because all this talk about damage control starts to make me feel like I’m a project.”
“I didn’t mean for it to come off like that.”
“Okay.”
She takes a sip of her coffee and makes a face.
“Cold.” She pushes the cup away.
We’re silent again. I’m not sure what to say.
Mom sighs. “Professional sport isn’t always accepting.”
“I know that.”
She pulls the cup back in front of her and starts to toy with the handle. “Are you two going to go public with your relationship?”
“I don’t know. Not right now.” I lean back and drag my fingers through my hair. “I’m annoyed it’s a thing. I don’t want to make a big deal out of this. I just want to live my life, play hockey, go back to school, and do it with Lake by my side without it being some kind of big deal.”
“I understand how that would feel unfair.”
I glance out the window.
“I’m not naive. I know people could turn out to be assholes.”
“Some will. A lot won’t,” Mom says after a moment.
I wave my hand toward her. “See? That’s supportive.”
“Yes, well, out of the minority, there’ll also be that very small percentage who are the worst type of people. Hateful and loud. Those are the ones that worry me.”
“I’m not letting those people dictate my life.”
“I’m not saying you should. I still worry.”
I nod. I can’t really do anything to combat those worries. I know Lake has them too. He thinks he’s hiding them, but I can see right through him.
“I’ll do better.” Mom sits up straighter. “I got into my own head last night. I honestly didn’t expect news like what you laid on me, but that’s not an excuse and not for you to worry about.” She leans forward, takes my hand in hers, and squeezes my fingers. “I’ll take a redo if you’ll give it to me.”
“Deal.”
She smiles at me. “So? How long has it been going on? Your relationship.”
“Umm. Two years?” I wince.
Her eyes widen. “Two years?” she repeats in a voice loud enough that it turns heads.
“It took some time to figure it all out.”
“Yes. I heard. Years.”
“You know what, go back to being worried about me,” I say.
“No, no. I’m more interested in this new revelation. Let’s discuss why it took you years to tell your mother about your relationship. I’m interested in that one.”
“Umm…” If she already looks upset about me hiding my relationship with Lake from her for this long, this next bit isn’t going to make her any happier. “Okay, try to remember you’re happy for me when I tell you the rest.”
She quirks one of her dark brown eyebrows. “There’s more?”
I give a careless wave that is a complete lie. “A few minor details.”
She blows out a breath and looks like she’s bracing herself. “Lay them on me.”
“Just… also try and remember that you love me.”
She throws me a pursed lips look. “Spit it out, son of mine.”
“The only son of yours. The only child of yours overall, so if you kill me there’ll be nobody to come and see you at the nursing home, so keep that in mind.”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “Uh-huh.”
I take a deep breath.
“Lake’s not just my boyfriend. He’s my husband.”
Mom just stares, completely frozen in her seat. The only sign that she heard me is that her mouth has dropped open, but otherwise she’s completely still.
Eventually, after a good few minutes have passed, I wave my hand in front of her face. Another moment later, she rubs her forehead, then looks up at me again.
“Son of mine,” she says with a tight smile. “Explain.”
So, I do.
Once I’m done with the somewhat condensed explanation about how Lake and I decided to get married and the reasons behind it—I leave out some of the more personal bits and all the non-essential details—Mom pinches the bridge of her nose between her fingers and just sits there with her eyes closed for a bit.
“Well,” she eventually says. “This was a lot of information all at once. You two are absolute, undisputable morons. At any point during all of this, did you never think to contact me and ask for help?”
“It wasn’t for me to ask. Plus, the trust fund has always been Lake’s. I just righted a wrong.”
“By making a serious commitment.”
I shrug. “It worked out pretty well for me.”
She sends me a half-exasperated, half-sardonic look. “Oh, to be young again.”
I shake my head. “None of it has anything to do with youth. I didn’t just spontaneously jump into marriage.” Truthfully, I did kind of spontaneously jump into marriage, but that’s not the important part right now. “Lake is… He’s everything I never knew I wanted.”
Mom’s eyes soften the tiniest bit. She’s a shark in the office, but she also loves me and has always had an almost uncontrollable urge to give me anything I want.
I think in a lot of circumstances I’d have become a seriously spoiled trust fund brat. My parents divorced when I was seven, then both proceeded to try and compensate for the loss of that somewhat happy family unit with stuff. Or to be more precise, by buying me a lot of stuff.
All I can say is it’s a good thing I was more interested in playing hockey back then than finding different ways to exploit my parents’ credit cards.
“You do understand this makes this whole situation even more complicated?” Mom says.
“Believe me, I’m aware.”
“Oh, good. For a moment I was beginning to think you weren’t.”
“Funny,” I say.
“Oh, no. I don’t really think it’s funny at all. You also casually deprived me of your wedding.”
“I’d believe it was an issue if I didn’t know you better.” My mother is not a romantic. She’s a woman with her head firmly on her shoulders, and she’s never been one to push what she wants on me. Otherwise, I’d probably be a business major or something. I inherited my love for numbers from her, but she’s never questioned my choices when it comes to school or my career.
“We got married in some tiny-ass town in California, and the judge kept talking about his brush with death after his testicular cancer diagnosis.”
Mom stares at me for a moment before her lips start to twitch. “Now, see, that sounds like exactly the kind of wedding I’d want to go to.”
I snort and shake my head, and when I look at her again, she has a small smile on her face.
She shakes her head and sighs.
“It figures you wouldn’t choose to make the normal kind of trouble for me. Couldn’t you just have gotten caught drinking while you were underage?”