Chapter 13
T he energy is already coursing through the club when we reach the stage. It’s absolutely packed in here, and the crowd is buzzing with excitement.
I move across the stage to sit down at my kit. I make sure everything is tight and angled just the way I like it, and Micah straps on his guitar and checks his tuning. Everything is in place.
He nods to me that he’s ready, and I nod back. Then he steps up to the microphone and welcomes the crowd with his usual friendly banter. We share one more nod, and I twirl my sticks in the air as he kicks off our set with those four little words that always make my heart swell: “We are…The Heat.”
Four loud clicks from my sticks, and we’re off.
As Micah comes in on guitar, he’s absolutely electric, his energy moving through me as I key in to him.
The crowd is ramping up, bouncing and moving with us now.
As he starts singing, his voice finds its way into that soft spot inside my soul, and everything else falls away until it’s only the two of us, locked in rhythm together.
We finish the first song, and I glance up and spot June at the front of the crowd. She’s standing at the corner of the stage near the stairs to the greenroom, and a taller guy is bending down to whisper in her ear.
Wait—is that Anthony?
She smiles at something that he’s saying, and when he straightens up, he wraps an arm around her. Then he kisses her temple before heading down the stairs.
She looks stunned.
I catch her eye, and her expression is sheepish at first, but then she smiles. She shakes her head and makes her eyes big like she doesn’t even know what’s happening. Then she points to me and my drum kit as if to say get back to work before she heads back toward the bar.
We start in on the next song, and my mind goes into flow as we work through our whole set, one by one. Everything locks in perfectly, and the music feels super tight. It’s like I never left—like we never even missed a beat.
We’re nearing the end of our last song when I come out of the haze, suddenly aware of the crowd and the intensity of their energy. They’re wild, thrashing along with every beat, and it’s thrilling.
As we finish out the last few beats, Micah steps away from the microphone and moves over toward my kit.
“We’re closing with the new song,” he tells me.
“But are we ready to play that one? I thought you were still trying to work out the lyrics for the chorus.”
“Don’t worry—I got it figured out this morning. Just play through the drum parts exactly like you did at rehearsal yesterday.”
I nod. “You got it.”
He tunes his guitar before moving to the microphone to say his goodbyes to the crowd like he always does.
“OK, we’ve got one more tonight before we hand you over to The Lost Souls. ”
The audience cheers.
But then he says something new.
“This last one is a song I wrote about someone very special to me. It’s about the way it feels when you love someone so much it hurts and you worry they may never love you back in the same way. It’s about missing someone so much you don’t know how you’ll ever put yourself back together again.”
He turns toward me, his gaze intense. I feel my cheeks go red hot, but I don’t understand what’s happening.
“This one’s for you, Kace,” he says, and there’s an audible sigh from the women in the audience.
But my own lungs are frozen. I can’t breathe. My ears ring, and the whole club seems smaller…smaller…and smaller, until it’s only the two of us onstage. Together.
Micah’s looking at me with absolute adoration in his eyes. His fingers pick those first few haunting notes on the guitar, and I can feel his rhythm filling my bones. My whole body comes to life as I play the beats that I know he needs from me.
His voice cuts through the crowd as he starts in on the verse, all low and growly, and I can feel the hunger in him. His hunger for me.
When he gets to the chorus, and I hear his lyrics for the first time ever, he takes my breath away.
I see your face
when I close my eyes
I taste your tears
when you cry
I kiss your lips
in my dreams every night
Girl, I know you by heart
I know you—by hear t
This song—it’s so beautiful. Micah is so beautiful. And he’s singing his beautiful, mournful words.
About me.
The rest of the song goes by in a blur of emotion, excitement, and the undeniable reality of it all.
As we finish the song, I catch a glimpse of June’s hot pink hair at the side of the stage, and she’s covering her heart with her hands and mouthing, “Oh my God,” as I blow her a kiss.
Micah and I gesture our thanks and goodbyes to the audience, and he takes my hand as we move off the stage together. He motions for me to follow him downstairs.
We step into the greenroom, and he turns toward me after he closes the door behind us, still holding my hand.
“Kace. I meant what I said onstage. I meant every word of it. I’ve been writing that song for months because I just couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
“Ohhh, Micah, I?—”
“Wait. There’s something I need to say. Something that I wish I’d said a long time ago. I need to put it out there. So please, hear me out?”
I nod.
“I know you may never have the same feelings for me that I have for you, and if that’s the case, then I can accept that.
But I can’t go on knowing I’ve never laid my heart bare.
I need you to know how I feel about you, Kace.
I’ll never be able to forgive myself if there’s even the smallest chance that something real is happening between us and I let it slip right through my fingers. ”
Oh my gosh. Is this really happening?
“Kace, I want you. I’ve wanted you since the first moment I saw you.
I’ve wanted you for as long as I can remember, and I want you so bad it hurts, but every time I’d try to make a move or get something started, you’d always find a way to laugh it off.
I figured you had me squarely in the friend zone, and I tried to let it go. ”
He’s had feelings for me this whole time.
“At least when we had the band I could feel that connection between us, but then, after everything happened and you moved back home…well, then I was just hoping the distance might make it easier, but instead it only made it unbearable.
“I—I’ve missed you so much, Kace. I wake up every day missing you, and I go to bed every night wondering what it would feel like to hold you in my arms, and I can’t get you out of my mind.
It’s like a piece of my heart tore away when you left.
But then, when you came back, it was like everything fit back together again.
Like all the pieces clicked back into place.
“When we kissed last night—when things started happening between us—it was intense, and you felt right in my arms. But then you shut it down.”
How could I have misread his feelings for so long? My mind is flashing back to the image of his body framed in the doorway of the studio, watching me yesterday, his eyes giving him away.
“Micah,” I whisper.
“I want to be with you. I want us to be together. I want us to play in the band together, and I want us to make a life together.”
A life together. He’s telling me this is serious. Not a fling. He’s looking at me with so much love in his eyes.
He’s telling me he’s in love with me.
“Ohh, Micah. I didn’t know.”
As I peer into his pale blue eyes, I realize that he’s searching my face, trying to figure out what my feelings are because I haven’t told him yet.
“Yes,” I say, nodding. “I want this too.”
“Ohhh, Kace… ”
He wraps me in his arms and kisses me once softly before moving back to gaze at me.
“I want this so much,” I tell him.
He cups my chin and brushes his thumb across my lips. Then he brings his mouth down to mine and kisses me hard, our bodies finding the rhythm, and I can feel how intensely he’s wanting me now. Micah. One hundred percent sober. Wanting me more than anything else in the world.
When he comes up for air, he’s leaning in close, his lips brushing against my cheek, and my whole body courses with electricity.
“I need you,” he whispers into my ear. “I have to have you. Please let me take you home tonight?”
The raw desire on his face has me craving him inside me already.
“Mm-hmm. Yes, please,” I whisper.
I gaze up at him, my heart full of love, and allow him to see the hunger in my eyes too.