Just Pretend (Just… #1)

22. James

CHAPTER 22

JAMES

The sky is light, but the sun hasn’t yet crested over the mountains when I wake up the morning after the rodeo. Even though we had a fun night out, especially with Jasmine and Ricardo really getting into the bull riding, all I could think about was how distant Hallie seemed. Sure, she was almost always by my side, leaning in close or putting her hand on my leg, but for the most part she felt absent.

Next to me, the pillow wall is still intact, stacked neatly to keep our limbs from straying to the other side of the bed. I can hear Hallie breathing softly on the other side and as I lift my head up a little to see over the divider, I see that she’s all the way on the far end of the bed, facing away from me. It’s pathetic, but I already miss the way I woke up the first morning with Hallie in my arms. I think I knew in the moment how special it was, and now I can see how it’s unlikely to happen again, especially with Hallie convinced that I’m the horny asshole she thinks I am, the man I’ve proven to be. If Hallie has completely pulled back from me, then I only have myself to blame.

Even if, deep down, I’m not really the guy she thinks I am, I’ve been acting like it for so long that there doesn’t seem to be a difference anymore. I moved on from one woman to the next to protect my heart, but maybe the better move would have been to just avoid women altogether. Then again, most of the time the women I bring home only want one thing, too, so for the most part no one has complained. And yet, all those one-night stands seem to be the thing that’s keeping me from being with someone I’m truly interested in, someone smart and funny and incredibly beautiful. Getting to know Hallie has started to change how I feel about getting close to someone again, but maybe it’s best in the long run for me to just go back to my old ways. The whole point of avoiding relationships was so I wouldn’t get hurt, and if the way I’m feeling in this moment is any indication, I was right to guard myself from the pain.

As Hallie stirs, rolling onto her back and sighing softly in her sleep, I feel a twinge in my heart. Who am I kidding? I have real feelings for this woman—feelings that aren’t likely to just go away. It’s too late to pretend otherwise, especially since I still have to spend the rest of the week acting like I’m her boyfriend. It’s torture and pleasure all at once and it’s likely to hurt like hell when we go back to being just neighbors.

Letting Hallie sleep, I go into the bathroom to call room service, ordering breakfast to be brought up for us. While I wait, I take a quick shower, shaving the stubble that’s formed on my face over the last couple of days. Hallie is getting out of bed when I come out of the bathroom—fully dressed—and the food arrives as she’s picking out her clothes from the dresser.

“What’s that?” she asks.

“Breakfast,” I tell her. “I ordered a few things.”

Hallie’s eyes grow big as the server comes into the room with a huge tray, unloading pastries, yogurt parfaits, well-cooked bacon, and crispy hash browns. He sets down a French press of coffee as well as a carafe of orange juice.

“It’s all my favorites,” Hallie comments, picking up a cinnamon bun and putting it on her plate.

I smile, taking a bite of bacon and then pouring us each a cup of coffee.

“I’m surprised you noticed,” she adds.

“I noticed,” I reply with a nod. “There’s a lot I’ve noticed.”

I can feel her eyes on me as she looks up from across the table. She’s softening, if only for a second before she quickly pulls back again.

“Well, I hope you’ve also noticed that Chase is still really suspicious of us,” she says with a sharp edge to her voice. “We have the trail ride with the group today, so we are going to have to be a little more convincing.”

“It’s not a problem,” I say before catching myself. “I’m getting good at pretending.”

“Well, fortunately it’s almost over,” Hallie sighs, adding some hashbrowns to her plate. “In a couple of days, we’ll never have to speak to each other again. Shit, I have to get ready.”

As she abandons her plate and heads to the bathroom to get dressed, I sink back in my chair, not liking the idea of never speaking to Hallie again at all.

No matter what I do to try to get Hallie to relax and loosen up, she refuses to respond to me, giving me the cold shoulder whenever we’re alone. She spends a lot of time staring at her phone and any time I try to start a conversation, she replies with one-word answers, or else she just shrugs and turns away from me. I know she’s an anxious mess inside. I know I shouldn’t take it personally. But it’s getting harder not to.

Like a light, Hallie turns on when we meet up with the group for the guided trail ride, tucking her arm through mine, laughing and smiling at me, and drawing me into her conversations. It’s almost worse than the silent treatment, because I know none of it is real.

“I have amazing news!” Jasmine squeals as she meets us by the stables. “Dakota got called away to birth a calf or something!”

“Um, awesome?” Hallie responds, sounding confused.

“That’s not the good news,” Jasmine laughs. “Guess who is filling in as our guide? Hot rodeo cowboy!”

“Well, I guess your day has been made,” I tease her, turning to elbow Ricardo in the ribs. “And your night.”

“Giddy-up,” Ricardo replies with a wink.

When Wes Blake arrives, he spends some time taking selfies with the group, mostly the women, making his rounds and introducing himself to everyone. I see the way his eyes rake up and down Hallie’s body as he makes his way towards us.

“You were at the rodeo last night, weren’t you?” he says with a toothy grin.

“I was—how did you know?” she asks.

“I always remember the most beautiful women in the crowd,” he says with a wink.

I turn my head to roll my eyes at the obvious line, hoping Hallie sees through it. I don’t know if she’s just being polite or if she’s into the cowboy, but she smiles and laughs, tucking her hair behind her ear. I know we’re not really a couple, but I can’t help being annoyed when the cowboy continues to flirt with Hallie, even though I’m standing right next to her. It actually surprises me how pissed it makes me, especially when I unconsciously put my arm around Hallie’s waist, pulling her towards me.

“Can I help you up on your horse?” I offer, leaning in to kiss her neck.

“I think I’ve got it,” she replies.

But as I’m mounting my own horse, I look over to check on Hallie and I see Wes helping her up, his hand lingering on her ass a little too long. I take a deep breath in, but I’m seething with anger that this rodeo clown thinks he can just move in on a woman who is obviously in a relationship—or at least is pretending to be.

“Looks like you might have a little competition,” Chase says, coming next to me on his horse. “Maybe you should get a cowboy hat, too.”

I take another slow inhale, trying to shake it off.

“I’m not worried,” I say firmly. “Hallie and I are solid.”

“Well, good thing for that,” Chase replies before he rides off chuckling, leaving me to stew in my anger.

The trail ride takes us up the mountain through a series of switchbacks, the scenery changing as we come out from the pine trees into a pasture of tall, caramel colored grass with the occasional yellow flower still holding on as autumn starts to give way to winter. The trail is a flat dirt path that the horses all seem to know well, each one staying in its position along their way, never straying from the worn route. The grass eventually recedes to sand and dirt and tufts of sagebrush. All around us, we’re surrounded by distant mountains, so large that they could be a mile away or in the next state over. It’s humbling to look around at the natural world and for a little while, I’m able to forget about my own problems and just enjoy the beautiful day.

On our way back down the other side of the mountain, the path starts to weave through the pine and birch trees and winds alongside a wide stream. Wes stops here to give everyone a break and we’re able to walk around by the water and take photos. It feels good to get off the horse for a little while and I’m stretching my legs when Jasmine makes her way over to me and Hallie.

“Let me get a photo of the two of you,” she says with a smile.

I turn to Hallie, deferring to whatever she wants to do, and I notice her taking a quick glance at Chase before moving by my side, kissing me on the cheek and putting an arm loosely around my waist. Jasmine obligingly takes our picture, but then shakes her head at us.

“Come on guys, make it a real kiss,” she teases.

I hesitate at the word real, vividly remembering our kiss after the rock climbing.

“Chase is watching, make it good,” Hallie whispers as she moves closer, putting her arms around my neck.

I take a sharp breath in, once again moved by the feel of her body against mine, but as I lean in to kiss her, there are no sparks, no electrical charge. Her lips are tight and reluctant, even though she’s trying to prove we’re an actual couple. Things have definitely changed between us and I have no idea how to fix it. I might need to accept that it can’t be fixed.

“We’re about ready to get going,” Wes says to Hallie. “Shall I help you back up on your steed?”

“I can help her,” I insist through gritted teeth, but Wes is already leading Hallie back to her horse, his hand on her back, just above her ass. Hallie doesn’t look back as she walks away from me.

Wes moves his horse next to Hallie’s as we continue down the mountain, talking to her and grinning with his bright white teeth. Every once in a while, he reaches over and adjusts her grip on the bridle, putting his hand on hers or touching her arm or leg. I’m right behind them and see every move he makes, my stomach clenching as my anger rises.

After seeing the cowboy in action, I know what kind of guy he is—the same kind that I’ve been acting like at home. He’s not really interested in Hallie; he just wants to get her in his bed, and if he’s willing to flirt with her in front of her boyfriend, then I can only assume this guy has no morals and no conscience. Maybe I’m not going to end up with Hallie when this week is over, but I’m going to make sure she doesn’t end up falling for that piece of shit either.

We ride for another hour before Wes stops at a scenic overlook, telling the group we can take some more photos if we like. He jumps down from his horse, posing for selfies with a couple of the young marketing interns while their boyfriends look at their phones. When he spots Hallie still on her horse, Wes makes his way over, resting his hand on her thigh as he looks up at her, smiling and flirting some more. I can’t hear what he’s saying, but I refuse to stand by and watch what’s happening. I may not be her actual boyfriend, but any guy who would act like that with a woman who he thinks is in a relationship is a douchebag and I don’t want him anywhere near Hallie.

Maneuvering my horse through the group, I make my way over to get between Hallie and the cowboy. As I’m trying to get my horse where I want it to go, however, my metal canteen suddenly comes loose from where I tied it to the saddle and it falls to the ground, making a loud clanging noise as it crashes down on a rock. Startled by the sudden noise, Hallie’s horse rises up on its back legs, braying loudly.

“Whoa, whoa there,” Wes says calmly, trying to soothe the horse, but it’s already spooked.

“Hallie!” I shout as her horse starts to turn in a circle, shifting its massive weight into Wes and knocking him to the ground.

The moment the horse starts to run, I take off after them, flicking the reins and then squeezing my legs around my horse to make it go faster. I don’t look back; I just keep moving forward, trying to catch up.

The beautiful scenery that was so calming at the beginning of the ride fades into the background as I race towards Hallie, quickly coming up behind her. She’s bent forward, clinging to the horse the best she can, but I can tell she’s not stable in the saddle. Her right foot is out of the stirrup, and she has her leg pressed against the horse’s side, which is likely only making it run faster.

“Hallie!” I shout. “Try to sit up and pull back on the reins!”

“I can’t!” I hear her scream back, though she doesn’t move her head at all to look at me.

“You need to slow it down!”

I watch as Hallie tries to grip onto the reins without sitting up, but she can’t let go of the saddle with both hands without risking being thrown to the ground.

“I can’t do it!” she yells to me. “James, help!”

I’m right behind her, but I can’t get close enough to reach out for the reins. Even if I could, it would likely just pull me off my own horse and drag me behind. There’s not much I can do alongside the spooked horse, and I soon realize I’m going to have to get on the horse with Hallie if I’m going to slow her down.

My heart is slamming inside my chest and my legs feel weak, but I’m seeing everything clearly as I take a deep breath. I know what I have to do, and I think I can do it, but it’s still a risky move. If I miss, then the horse is going to keep running until it throws Hallie to the ground, and the fall could be life threatening.

“Can you move up as far as you can on the saddle?” I shout.

Hallie thinks for a second and then nods, scooting forward as she holds on tight. I manage to get my horse right up alongside hers while I move both of my legs to one side, and with one last deep breath, I push off and throw my right leg over Hallie’s horse, sliding into the saddle behind her and wrapping my arms around her body.

For a moment, I just hold her tight, pressing my face against the back of her neck.

“I’ve got you,” I whisper. “You’re going to be okay.”

I feel Hallie breath in deeply and then shiver, nodding her head in response. Taking hold of the reins and holding them loose in my hands, I lean slightly on top of Hallie, shifting both of our weight forward. Once the horse starts to slow down, I motion for it to turn in a circle, finally getting it to stop. I hop off at the first chance I have and then I pull Hallie down, holding her in my arms right. I can feel her body shaking as she presses her face to my chest.

“It’s going to be okay,” I whisper softly, stroking her hair. “You’re safe now.”

She nods, breathing in and exhaling slowly, and after a moment, she lifts her face to look up at me. There are tears still in her eyes, along with the streaks down her face. I run my thumb over her cheek and then press my forehead to hers, relieved and grateful that I was able to protect her. For a few minutes, we stand like that, in a motionless embrace, relieved to be alive, until Hallie suddenly pulls back and looks all around us.

“Do you have any idea where we are?” she asks.

I follow her gaze through the woods, realizing we’re no longer on the trail. I was so set on following Hallie’s horse that I didn’t see where we left the path or what direction we were moving in.

“It’s fine,” I tell her. “The group is probably looking for us. We’ll just head back the way we came and we’ll probably run right into them.”

Hallie’s gaze moves up towards the sky where dark clouds are blocking out the sun. She shivers, wrapping her arms around her body.

“Your horse is gone,” she says.

“Yeah,” I nod. “That’s okay. You can ride on your horse and I’ll walk beside you.”

“That will take forever,” Hallie points out. “Why don’t you just ride with me?”

I help Hallie back onto her saddle and then I climb on behind her, immediately affected by how close we are. Her body seems to fit right against mine, my chest tight against her back, my legs embracing her hips. She brings her horse to a trot, back in control of its movements, and we start to head back, looking for the trail as we go.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” I say softly.

“Thanks to you,” she replies without turning around. After a moment, she glances back at me. “I’m sure someone will come looking for us.”

“Definitely,” I nod.

When a loud clap of thunder suddenly echoes through the sky, I reach around Hallie and hold onto the reins tightly in case her horse gets spooked again. It stutter-steps for a second but then presses on without incident.

“Shit,” I curse under my breath as the first fat raindrops start to fall down on us.

It’s not long before it’s pouring rain and we’re both soaked. We keep going forward, but without any sign of the trail, and the sky getting even darker, I know we can’t keep on like this.

“We need to find shelter and wait it out,” I say to Hallie, who nods in agreement.

“What’s that?” she asks, pointing to a large rock structure in the distance. “Maybe we can fit underneath the rocks?”

“Let’s go see,” I agree.

The boulders are large enough to form a shelter and after tying the horse to a sturdy tree, Hallie and I hurry inside out of the rain. The ground is hard and the gaps between the rocks let the freezing wind whip through, but there’s enough coverage over us to block the rain. Still, our clothes and hair are soaking wet, and Hallie soon starts to shiver from the cold.

“It’s getting so dark,” Hallie comments, sounding scared. “And the storm is getting worse. Even if they were out looking for us, they can’t stay out in this.”

I know she’s right, but I don’t respond, not wanting to say it out loud.

“What are we going to do?” Hallie whispers.

Another loud crack of thunder rattles the earth and outside the cave, the horse brays. I feel my stomach twist into knots, thinking that if my canteen hadn’t fallen back at the overlook, none of this would have happened. I try to shake it off, knowing that blaming myself isn’t going to help us get out of this, but it’s hard not to feel the guilt. Still, right now I need to push past it and focus on keeping us safe through the night.

“We should try to build a fire,” I say, spotting some dry sticks and pine needles under the rocks behind us. “Do you have a match?”

“No, but I don’t need one,” Hallie says confidently, grabbing two rocks.

“You’re going to start a fire with rocks?” I ask skeptically.

Hallie rolls her eyes and starts striking the rocks together near the pile of pine needles I collected. I watch with amazement as she creates little sparks and after a few minutes, the needles start to smoke.

“Wow, you really know what you’re doing,” I say in amazement. “That’s incredible. I’ve never seen anyone do that in real life before.”

“I spend a lot of time at a summer camp,” she says, blowing gently on the pile.

Finally, we are able to get a small fire going and while I know it won’t burn for long and it’s not enough to keep us warm, it offers a small amount of comfort. After about an hour though, the cold really starts to set in. The sun is going down and the wind is worsening. If we don’t do something, we’re going to freeze. I know what we can do to stay warm, but Hallie’s not going to like it. Her teeth are chattering as she looks up at me, scared and shivering, so I move closer, shifting around the small fire.

“Hallie,” I say hesitantly, “I need you to take off your clothes.”