Just Pretend (Just… #1)

40. Hallie

CHAPTER 40

HALLIE

I thought I was prepared for this moment, coming face to face with James again, but being around him makes me breathless and lightheaded. My pulse is racing and my body is aching to be near him. I don’t know if he still feels the same way for me as he did a week ago—after all, so much has changed in such a short time. He moved to the city and started working for his father, the whole time thinking that I didn’t want anything to do with him. I know how much he was hurt by his last break up and I feel so guilty for putting him through that again. He let down the walls around his heart for me and at the first sign of trouble, I literally slammed the door in his face. He trusted me to love him, and I let him down. I feel so stupid for not thinking things through logically and for letting my kneejerk reaction get the best of me. I had a plan for today, but I feel like I’m already blowing it. All I want is to rush into James’s arms and tell him what I’m feeling; nothing else seems to matter anymore.

“This is so goddamn typical of you,” Rupert says, glaring at my father from across the desk. “Wasting my time and money like this. You were always this way, and I see nothing has changed. The best move of my professional career was leaving our partnership.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Sinclair,” I quickly step in, snapping out of my thoughts about James. “We definitely don’t want to waste your time, but I have to confess that we did bring you all here under false pretenses.”

“I knew it!” Rupert snaps. “This was just a ploy to humiliate me, to get back at me somehow. I knew you were up to no good, Evans! So, what is it? What do you want from me?”

“We were actually hoping we’d be able to work some things out,” I continue, trying to stay calm and respectful, even though Rupert is making it difficult. What I really want to do is tell him off and never have to see his face again, but I made a big mistake and I’m going to rectify it, one way or another.

“There is nothing to work out,” Rupert shakes his head. “I’m signing over a very expensive piece of land for nothing! What more do you want from me?”

My heart is pounding as I stand up from my chair. My legs start to shake and my knees feel weak, but this moment is too important to be sitting. What I need to say could change the rest of my life.

“I can assure you that my father and I both greatly appreciate your extreme generosity,” I tell Rupert, swallowing my own pride, knowing that there is nothing generous about Rupert Sinclair. “But I know now that while my family is not bearing the cost of the land, someone else is.”

I pause for a moment, breathing in deeply, steadying myself.

“Someone who I love very much.”

When I look up across the room, James is looking back at me and we lock eyes. I can’t read the expression on his face, but I don’t see anger or hate in his eyes, only curiosity. It gives me hope that I haven’t blown things between us, that maybe I can still salvage the love we found in Wyoming.

“James,” I say, clearing my throat as my voice cracks. “I made a terrible mistake, one that has cost me dearly. I’ve been completely miserable this past week without you. I almost immediately fell back into my old pattern, caring about nothing but my job, throwing myself into work and ignoring everything else. Being without you, after how close we had become, was torture. And when I found out that it was my own fault and that it didn’t have to be like this, it made things even worse.”

James sits forward slightly in his chair, his eyebrows furrowed with confusion as he listens silently. I fold my hands in front of me to stop from flinging myself into his lap and throwing my arms around his neck. I can still feel the way he held me close, his whole body pressed against mine, and the memory of his touch sustains me as I keep going.

“I overheard something at your shop,” I say, hanging my head slightly in embarrassment. “A conversation between you and your father.”

Glancing up quickly, I see James’s eyes widen with recognition, remembering the conversation. His mouth opens to offer an explanation, but I shake my head and keep going, wanting to get everything out that I need to say.

“I know now that I didn’t hear everything that was said, likely just the worst of it, and I know that I took that part of the conversation out of context. I was wrong to make assumptions, especially since I should have known better. You showed me the real you, but I convinced myself that it was all a lie. I should have realized you wouldn’t do that to me. I should have…”

I stop for a moment, fighting back tears, my voice trembling. I clear my throat again and force myself to continue.

“I owe you an apology,” I say softly. “I messed up and I understand if you can’t forgive me, but I wanted this chance to say I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I know the sacrifice you made so that my family can keep the camp. I know what you agreed to give up, and I can’t let you do that.”

Before James can interject, I wipe a stray tear from the corner of my eye and turn to his father, pressing forward.

“Mr. Sinclair, your son is so creative and talented,” I say to Rupert. “He’s a gifted woodworker and his creations are truly one-of-a-kind. James came with me to a work retreat a couple of weeks ago and everyone raved about his work when they found out who he was. Not only does he make beautiful, well-crafted designs, but he’s also a successful businessman. He does everything himself—his marketing, accounting, sales, all of it. It’s a huge accomplishment, and more importantly, it makes him happy.”

It takes a moment of courage to turn back to James, knowing that I can’t keep my tears at bay any longer. When I look into his eyes, my heart floods with all of the emotions I’ve been trying to hold back, and the tears fall down my cheeks.

“He shouldn’t have to walk away from what makes him happy because of me,” I say to Rupert, though I’m looking straight at James.

“Hallie,” James exhales, getting to his feet and stepping towards me. He looks like he’s about to reach for me, but instead he sticks his hands into his pockets. “It’s okay. It’s done. I know what this camp means to you and your family. That’s what’s important.”

“But you mean so much to me, too,” I tell him. “I can’t let you do this.”

Slowly, James pulls one hand out of his pocket and slides his thumb across my cheek, wiping my tears away. I look up at him, longing for him, my whole body trembling. With a soft exhale, James puts his arms around me and pulls me against him. As I bury my face in his chest, I can feel the familiar warmth of his embrace and the strength of his arms. I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but I’m certain that I love James with every breath in my body.

“My God, Rupert,” I hear my father sigh softly. “Look at our kids. They love each other. Look what they’re willing to sacrifice for each other. This is about us. If they can make these sacrifices for us, we should be doing the same for them. You don’t have to sign over the land. I’m sure we can work something else out, but please, don’t involve our kids in this.”

I pull back from James and we both turn to look at his father. Rupert is silent as he gets to his feet, his eyes shifting from my father around the room, settling on his son, who still has his arm around me. James pulls me closer, and I lean into him, holding my breath.