Keep Healing (Fighting For Tomorrow #2)

CHAPTER 12

EVIE

It was barely light out when I walked into the guys home gym the next morning. I had spent much of the day before hiding out in bed and wallowing in my misery and self-pity. There had been tears and a few outbursts of anger at the unfairness of all that was happening – both to me, and because of me, but I hadn’t scared the guys away. They’d all been there with me throughout, only leaving to take turns to check the security and the perimeter of the property. They’d made me eat and done the best they could to make the mood lighter, but in the end I had needed the meltdown I was in midst of and they seemed to realize that and instead just held me until I once again cried myself to sleep.

Nightmares had plagued me all night, but these weren’t the nightmares I had become almost accustomed to. No, these nightmares were new and made up by my subconscious, mixed with my terrifying fears of Soloman getting to and hurting the people I loved. I had watched every member of my family and my guys all be hurt by Soloman every time I closed my eyes the night before, until I just couldn’t take it anymore.

That was how I found myself stood in the gym. Working out was not my thing, despite the fact I grew up with a dad and brothers who practically lived to work out. I enjoyed the self defense training I’d done with them all over the years, and I occasionally jogged to keep up a bare minimum level of fitness, but the gym was very far from familiar to me.

But as I lay in bed beside Harris, way too early that morning I thought about the numerous times my brothers had explained to me why they loved the gym so much – because it helped them to deal with the demons from their pasts, and I thought maybe I needed some of that kind of therapy. So I’d pulled on yoga pants, a sports bra and sweater, along with the sneakers the guys had bought for me, and I’d snuck from my bedroom.

The guys had a sound system in the gym, and they’d explained to me that the room was sound proof so they could work out to the loud music they favored whenever they wanted or needed to - which I knew from the time I had been with them all – was often. I opened the music app on the laptop that was hooked up and picked a random workout playlist – likely one of the guys.

Since I knew I could run, I went for the treadmill and set it at a steady pace to warm up. It felt odd at first – so different to running on the street, but after a few minutes I got into the rhythm. As I pushed up the speed and pulled off my sweater, the playlist seemed to kick up a notch too, the beat of the music becoming faster and more intense. It took time for me to get past the burn of my now weak muscles and the aching exhaustion I felt, but eventually it all just seemed to fade and all I could feel was the repetitive thumping of my sneakers against the belt and the music which continued to spur me on faster and faster.

It started to make sense to me - what my brothers had said about working out – how it made them able to relax and just let everything go, because the harder I ran, the more my mind cleared of all of my worries and fears, until it was just me, the beat of the music, and the need to keep going, keep pushing.

By the time I had to slow it back down to a walk I was pouring with sweat and panting way too hard, but I felt better – lighter. I managed to just walk for five minutes, knowing I needed to cool down my muscles, then I switched it off and stepped off, my legs shaking hard beneath me as I finally stood still.

I was completely exhausted and in definite need of building up my fitness levels, but it had helped and I resolved to try and get into a routine of making myself hit the gym once a day.

“Hey. There you are,” I looked up and found Aleks in the doorway of the gym, still in his pajamas and looking cute as hell with his wild bed head. “We were worried when we couldn’t find you.”

“Sorry,” I replied breathlessly. “I couldn’t sleep.” I moved over to the sound system and paused the playlist, taking note of the name of it so I could play it again.

“You okay?” His face was filled with compassion and concern as he walked towards me.

“Yeah. Better than yesterday anyway,” I shrugged.

“Did this help?” he asked as he waved a hand around us.

“I think so,” I nodded. “I’m not really big on exercise but my brothers swear by it for stress relief, so I thought I’d give it a try.”

“It works for me.”

“I know. I think it could help me too, if I weren’t so pathetically unfit,” I chuckled as I grabbed a small towel from the shelf and wiped at my sweaty face.

“You can build up your fitness, if that’s what you want? I can help you, the others too,” he offered.

“Yeah, that’d be good,” I agreed. “I haven’t really worked out much since I ran track in high school.”

“We’ll talk to the others. Come on, let’s get you some water before you dehydrate on the spot,” He chuckled as he held his hand out to me.

“I’m all sweaty,” I protested.

“I think I can handle it. Totally worth it to see you in that sexy little top.” He nodded down to my chest and I realized for the first time that I was only in my sports bra, with way too many of my scars on show. I reached for my sweater from where I had tossed it on the seat of the stationary bike, but Aleks pulled me into his front instead, and I landed against his chest hard.

“Aleks, I’m gross!” I cried as I tried to back away from him.

“No. You’re gorgeous,” he argued. He released my hand and instead placed both of his on my hips, as he looked at me with so much heat.

“Aleks…” I whispered, not sure what I even wanted to say. He had me ensnared with his red hot stare and the touch of his hands on my bare skin.

“Can I kiss you, Evie?” he asked gently, and I nodded just once, my breaths coming quicker in anticipation.

He leaned in and I did too. I had to lift up onto my tiptoes to reach his lips, my arms locked around his neck to get me closer. Aleks’s kiss was just like him – gentle, and languid. He explored my mouth like he needed to know every facet of it and I just tried to hold on for the ride. I could feel his morning stubble against my skin and it just made the moment that much hotter.

A squeak of protest slipped from me as he backed away. I didn’t want the kiss to be over, but I was relieved when he kept his hands on my sides and pulled me tighter against his front.

“You’re so beautiful, maleńka,” he whispered as we stared back at one another.

“And you’re crazy,” I said, but the smile on my face couldn’t be removed. “I’m so disgusting right now.” I forced myself to step back from him, knowing I must smell pretty ripe. “I should go and shower.”

“Okay, but you need water first,” he held his hand out to me again and this time I took it and allowed him to lead me from the room and up to the kitchen.

“She’s here!” Aleks called loudly when we got into the kitchen. In seconds all three of the other guys were rushing towards me from opposite sides of the house.

“What’s going on?” I asked when they all just stood looking at me like I was a puzzle they needed to solve.

“Are you okay? Where were you?” Kailan asked as he stepped forwards.

“Uh, in the gym,” I said dryly as I waved a hand to indicate the state I was in. Where else did they think I was? “I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d run on the treadmill,” I added when they still looked unsure.

“You should have woken me. We were worried,” Harris eventually spoke up.

“It was early and we all had a long night with my nightmares. I didn’t want to wake you, and I didn’t need to. I was fine.”

“Here honey. Drink this and sit down for a few minutes,” Aleks told me as he appeared at my side with a cold bottle of water. I took it gratefully and untwisted the cap, gulping down the ice cold water greedily. Maybe I should take water with me next time, I pondered.

“How are you feeling today?” Nick asked as I sat my shaky ass down on one of the stools at the counter.

“Better. I’m sorry about yesterday. I just…it all got too much,” I tried to explain.

“Nothing to be sorry for, darlin’. We all have days like that,” Kailan shrugged as he jumped up on the counter beside me.

“Did you hear from my brothers?” I asked with a wince. I hated the way I had left things with them all, but I’d just been at my breaking point and I knew it. I needed them gone so I could allow myself to break for a little while.

“I spoke to Kade last night. They’re back home. They said to let you know that everyone is fine. They’re all going to stay with your mom and dad for a while,” Harris explained.

“I need to go to them. This is all my fault. I should at least be there to help,” I sighed.

“Just say the word and we’ll make the arrangements, Evie,” Aleks told me. “But wait until you feel sure you’re ready, okay? There’s no hurry. Everyone is safe and your brothers are on top of everything right now. You need to worry about yourself.”

“I’ll think about it,” I replied. “But we should go soon. My mom and dad need to see that I really am okay. They must have been so worried, and I miss them too.”

“Whenever you’re ready, sweetheart,” Harris told me as he came to my side, wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head.

“Eww, stop touching me. I’m so sweaty,” I argued as I gave him a playful shove to the side.

“Why don’t you go and shower and I’ll make us all some breakfast?” Nick suggested.

“Pancakes?” I asked hopefully. Nick’s chocolate chip pancakes were the best I’d ever tasted.

“Anything for you, baby,” he told me with a wink. I loved it when he did that. It was so sexy and had me grinning like a love sick school girl every damned time.

“I should get dressed too. Save me some pancakes,” Aleks said as he started to follow me from the kitchen.

When we reached the stairs I turned to him and smiled mischievously, the memory of his kiss playing on a loop in my head.

“You know…” I started as I took the first few stairs, then paused and turned back to him. “…I got you really sweaty before. You should probably shower too.” It was not like me at all to be so forward. I wasn’t shy before everything that happened and I had too much confidence, I had been told once or twice, but when it came to sex and intimacy, I had always allowed the man to take the lead, always a little less sure of myself in those scenarios – not that there had been many. Just Harris and Dean.

“And I suppose you’re worried about conserving water, huh?” he teased with a sexy smile.

“Well, I just figure we should all do our bit for the planet, right?”

“Of course. I totally agree. Lead the way my little eco-warrior.”

I was smiling like a loon as I hurried my pace up the stairs and made my way into my room, Aleks right behind me. It was what these guys did to me – not just the way they turned me into a needy vixen, but also the happiness I felt when I was with them. Despite everything – and let’s be honest there was a lot! I was in the middle of a serial killer nightmare, but despite that, and all of my fear and trauma, my four guys could still make me smile. They could make me forget, just for a little while, and in those times I got a glimpse of a future I wanted – a peaceful, happy future with all of them and Zack. No matter what came next, I was already confident that Nick, Harris, Kailan, and Aleks were going to be a part of it, and that gave me more hope than anything else had for as long as I could remember.

Aleks closed my bedroom door behind him after he entered, then he followed me right through to the bathroom, closing that door too as I leaned into the shower cubicle to set the water running. When I turned back to Aleks nerves flooded me. Had I been too forward? Was I even ready for this? It had been amazing with Kailan, but there was a part of me that still feared I’d freak out at their touch, even though I trusted them entirely. What if my trauma from the past reared its ugly head at the wrong moment and I completely ruined everything?

“Evie, look at me, maleńka,” Aleks said softly, and my eyes automatically searched out his. Nick had told me me Aleks lost his eye overseas and that he wore a prosthetic now, but I couldn’t tell which eye it was. They were both beautiful, sparkling under the lights as he focused on me with so much intensity and patience. “It’s okay if you’re not ready for this. There’s no hurry. We have all of the time in the world to be together. I’m not going anywhere.”

“No!” I cried. “I’m ready. I want this Aleks. You mean so much to me already and I want everything with you. I…I guess I just can’t help worrying I might freak out on you after….well, everything. Sometimes it’s hard to control the memories that sneak up…in here.” I pointed to my temple.

“If that happens, then we’ll deal with it, but Evie, nothing you could do would stop me from wanting to be with you. We all have these demons from the past and we’re all doing our best to fight them, but they will make themselves known from time to time and we just have o learn to live with that. I believe we can do that, together.”

“Together,” I agreed with a nod. I took a step towards him and instantly his hands were on my hips, pulling me closer. He kissed me chastely just a peck on the lips.

“We’re so much stronger together, now that we have you,” he whispered. “I believe with you at our sides, there’s nothing we can’t overcome.”

“Me too,” I agreed breathlessly, the urge to kiss him overwhelming. But I did agree with what he said too. Having the four of them at my side made me so much stronger and braver, and all of us together? Our experiences may have fractured us all, but they also made us tough and resilient. They made us wise to the evils of this world and taught us that no matter what, we could survive. “Kiss me, Aleks…please,” I begged.

He obliged instantly, his lips crashing down over mine and instantly setting me further alight with need, his kiss demanding and way more domineering than I ever thought Aleks would be.

He pulled back and once again I found myself audibly protesting. Aleks just smiled, then pulled the t-shirt he wore over his head. He dropped his checked pajama pants just as quickly, then he carefully set his glasses on the vanity.

I just stood, open mouthed, watching him. I couldn’t look away! Aleks was the smallest of the four guys, though he was still tall and obviously in shape from what I’d seen under his clothes. But naked? Naked he was perfection – his lithe slim body ripped and toned, his six pack a work of art. There were burn scars all down his left side – the ones Nick had told me about from the explosion overseas – and they were extensive, but they didn’t take anything from the utter perfection of the form before me – not for me anyway. They were just symbols of all he had survived and the strength he had within to do that.

His shoulders and biceps were perfectly formed and he had a smattering of dark hair down his chest, leading all the way down his stomach. I couldn’t stop myself from taking in the size of his very hard and ready to go erection.

When I did eventually force my eyes back up, Aleks was watching me with raised eyebrows and a smirk.

“Like anything you see?” he teased, and I blushed furiously.

“Yep,” I nodded with a smirk of my own. “Plenty.”

When he just stood expectantly I knew he was waiting for me to follow suit. I took a deep breath, refusing to give my insecurities the attention they were clamoring for, and shed my gym clothes quickly, then I fled into the steamy shower before Aleks could utter a word.

Aleks was right behind me. He stepped under the spray, and walked towards me with nothing but heat and desire across his face. Instantly my own need built up inside of me, my body humming with need for his touch.

He took another step forwards and then he was so close our bodies were touching, our quickened breaths almost perfectly in time.

“Evie…” he uttered as he lowered his gaze to meet mine. I looked up at him. He put his hands around my waist, and took me completely by surprise when he lifted me up. I hurried to wrap my legs around his waist and loop my arms around his neck. We were eye to eye now and I couldn’t resist going in for a kiss, which was very quickly taken control of by Aleks, and became way more frantic and desperate than any of our previous kisses. “Tell me you want this right now,” he whispered as he broke the kiss and looked into my eyes.

“I want this,” I assured him, the words shaking with the need that was consuming me, a heat building between us that threatened to burn me. I moved my hands from where I had them looped around his neck, and down over the tight muscles on his back.

Aleks leaned in to nibble a torturous but wonderful path down my neck and across my shoulder. I held onto his shoulders again and pulled myself tighter against his body, desperate to find some friction where the insatiable throbbing between my legs was building and building.

“Aleks!,” I cried as it became too much. I needed something, and I needed it now. .

“Talk to me, Kochanie. Tell me what you want,” he urged.

“You!” I cried. “Please Aleks. I’m ready. I want you inside me.”

“I wanted this to be about you,” he told me, looking a little taken aback by my demand.

“It will be, please Aleks. I need you right now.”

“I don’t have a condom. I…I didn’t think you’d be ready…” he foundered a little, his earlier domineering side gone.

“I-in the drawer, in the vanity. Kailan p-put them there,” I panted. I’d scolded Kailan for being so presumptuous when he put the huge box of condoms in my bathroom the night before – no doubt in an effort to pull me from the funk I’d been in – but now I was just really damn grateful.

Aleks ducked out of the shower and returned just moments later with the condom in place, much to my relief and delight.

He walked over to me and backed me into the cool tiles on the wall, then kissed me hard and fast, whipping me up into a needy, heated, desperate mess all over again.

“Aleks,” I squeaked.

“You’re sure about this. We don’t have to rush…”

“Aleks, I’m completely sure. Please….I need you so bad it hurts,” I gasped, cutting him off.

“I’m here…right here,” he uttered, then he had me lifted and wrapped around his waist again. “Legs around me, maleńka,” he commanded and I quickly complied, wrapping my arms around his neck too, clinging to him with all of the desperation bursting from me. “Such a good girl,” he uttered as he got me settled in the one arm he was holding me with and against the wall, then he was lining himself up with my entrance. I tried to stay still, but I knew I was writhing, unable to stop myself, needing some friction to take me over that edge more than I needed my next breath. “Sshh. I’m going to make it better now, okay? You tell me if we need to stop.”

Then he was cautiously pushing his way inside of me and I almost cried out with relief at the contact. I had told him I was ready, and I really was. He slid all of the way in and then started to move in a steady rhythm that instantly had my pleasure climbing once again, and teetering on the edge of ecstasy so damn quickly.

I was crying out, every movement sending me closer and closer to that edge and setting every nerve ending I had alight with pleasure. Then Aleks moved his hand between us, finding that small bundle of nerves that had been so needy for his touch. Two brushes of his thumb and I was a goner, flying over that edge and into utter joy and ecstasy with a loud cry.

I clung tightly to Aleks shoulders as I rode the waves of pleasure, my mind fuzzy and thinking of nothing but how damned good I felt and the man who had gotten me there.

Moments later Aleks grunted with he force of him finding his own pleasure, then we were both just clinging to each other, the shower raining down over us.

“You guys…a-are gonna kill me,” I gasped playfully, as I realized being with all four of them would mean a whole lot of repeats of what I had already had with Kailan and Aleks, not that I’d be protesting any time soon.

“More like the other way around,” Aleks chuckled as he lifted his head from my shoulder and kissed me chastely.

“Are you okay? I wasn’t too rough, was I?” he asked with concern. I smiled and leaned in to place a kiss on the end of his nose.

“You were perfect. It was all perfect,” I assured him. “Just don’t put me down because there’s no way my legs are working for a while,” I laughed.

“I’ve got you, kochanie,” he promised as he held me tighter. I lay my head on his shoulder and sighed in contentment. I knew the peace would be broken soon, no doubt by a phone call from my brothers, so I was determined to enjoy every single second of the quiet I had found in my head and the amazing man who held me.