Keep Healing (Fighting For Tomorrow #2)

CHAPTER 17

EVIE

I gave up on sleep around two A.M. that night. I had barely slept a wink without nightmares haunting me one after the other and I refused to close my eyes anymore. I’d rather be exhausted than have to relive the hell that had been pulling me down every time I closed my damned eyes.

Aleks was laid with me, spooning me as we slept, his body curled tightly around mine and his arm under my head. Harris was on the camp bed in my room too, but Kailan and Nick had taken a couple of the spare rooms, since it was too much of a squeeze with us all together.

I slipped silently from the bed and grabbed Harris’s hooded sweatshirt as I slipped from the room. I had a robe, but that wouldn’t smell as comforting as Harris’s sweater. I pulled it on, the house feeling cold as I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen.

The house was so silent as I set to work making a cup of chamomile tea to try and calm my anxiety down. It was so unusual in that place to have silence. Growing up the place had always been chaotic, at first with foster kids, as well as all of us when I was younger, then just with us when mom and dad decided to stop fostering. We were a noisy bunch, but it never bothered me. It was just home, and that had always been a place filled with safety and happiness for me. Until now, when it wasn’t anymore.

I made the tea and sat at the counter to drink it. The kitchen was dimly lit by the under cabinet lights and the shadows around me were creeping me out in a way they never had before. I knew it was because Soloman had been on Livy and the guys property. What if he got onto mom and dad’s? I couldn’t shake the fear that he was stood out there in the yard right now, just watching me and waiting for his opportunity.

“Evie? You okay?” I looked up and found Nick stalking towards me. He was dressed in checked lounge pants only. No shirt. His body was magnificent, a work of art, covered with tight, sculpted muscle and golden skin. His scars, which were mainly down his right side and consisted of burns and gnarly lines where I assumed he had taken shrapnel, didn’t detract from how perfect he looked in that light. “Evie?” he tried again as I just sat drooling over him. I pulled myself together and gave my head a small shake to try and clear it, then I returned my eyes to his.

“Yeah, sorry. I’m fine. I just couldn’t sleep,” I explained, feeling hot and flustered all of a sudden. “You?”

“Same. I don’t sleep well in unfamiliar places. Thought I’d grab some water.”

“Is Zack okay?” I asked.

“Out cold,” Nick laughed as he held up his cell phone and showed me the image from the camera the guys had set up beside Zack’s travel cot. “I think your mom and dad wore him out.”

“They love kids. They’ve fostered a ton of them over the years.” Mom and dad had been playing with Zack non stop after dinner that night, running around with him and getting out very old toy they could find in the garage. Zack had a ball with all of the attention.

Thankfully Kyle hadn’t been at dinner. Livy told us he had gone into the office, after she apologized profusely for his earlier behavior, but it wasn’t up to her to apologize. Kade, Matt, and Cole had all been on their best behavior with my guys, but I sensed the drama with Kyle was far from over.

I still hadn’t see Xander yet. He’d had to work late the night we’d arrived and he’d been working another shift that day too. I hoped to see him at dinner tomorrow, because I missed him and his level head. He was the one brother I knew wouldn’t push me and fight with my guys just for the sake of it. He was a little more mellow than the others and I needed that.

“You want some more tea?” Nick offered as he walked into the kitchen.

“Please,” I nodded. “I’m not eager to go back to bed.”

“Nightmares?”

“Yeah, every damned time I close my eyes,” I admitted.

“You’re dealing with a lot of stress right now. It can make things like nightmares worse,” he reasoned and I just groaned.

“Great. So that’s me not sleeping for weeks to come.”

“You just need to try and relax more. There’s no use in stressing. There’s nothing we can even do right now except let Aleks work his computer magic and hope for the best.”

“Did he find anything today? I didn’t get chance to ask him.”

“He checked the cameras outside your brothers place for the day the property was breached and found a car that circled the cul-de-sac several times that day. He’s looking into it,” Nick shrugged.

“We could be here for months, couldn’t we?” I groaned. “Unless Soloman makes himself known or we find some glaring great clue we missed before, it could take months, years even to end this.” Tears filled my eyes as the realization that I didn’t know if I could handle months of the tension in that house, hit me hard.

“Baby. Come here,” Nick soothed as he rounded the counter and wrapped his arms around me. “Tell me what you’re thinking right now.”

“That I can’t h-handle months of this,” I sniffled. “I’m s-so tried, Nick. I just want to g-go h-home,” I sniffled. “I felt safe at your place. I could be myself there. Here I…I just d-don’t feel like I belong here anymore. I feel like I should be the old Evie here and I c-can’t. She’s gone. I…I can’t be her anymore.”

“You don’t have to be. You just need to be yourself. You’ve changed because of all that’s happened, but that’s okay. No one expects you to be who you were before, and if they do, then fuck them,” Nick told me firmly.

“Being back here…it just shows me how different I am, and this new version of me…I’m so scared she’ll disappoint everyone,” I admitted shakily.

“Evie, look at me,” Nick requested, and I lifted my head and met his eyes. “No part of who you are could ever disappoint anyone. You’re amazing – so strong and resilient no matter what life throws at you; you never stop fighting or trying. You’re so kind and patient too, and so fucking beautiful and sexy. You’re Super Woman, baby. Stop doubting that.”

“And you’re too kind,” I smiled as I reached up to loop my arms around his neck. “I’m not Super Woman, Nick. I’m just me – messed up, emotional, stubborn me.”

“Just you is all I need, baby. It’s all I’ll ever need. I love you,” he said, his voice lower as his eyes filled with heat. I felt it too, my core clenching in anticipation as heat raced through me.

Nick’s lips met mine and we were instantly tangled in the most intense kiss we had ever shared. He cupped my ass and lifted me until we were eye level and able to deepen the kiss further. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his shoulders, clinging to him as my body was set alight with need for this sexy as sin man I had my thighs wrapped around.

He backed us up across the room to the wall, then pressed my back against it to steady me so he could free a hand . His kisses moved from my lips and down my neck, driving my need higher and higher. I pushed a hand into his hair and clutched the soft waves, enjoying what he was doing, but desperately needing more.

“Nick,” I gasped. “ I need more. Let’s g-go to your room.”

“So impatient,” he teased, but he had already pulled me away from the wall and was headed up the stairs.

He kicked the door to the spare room open and walked in. There was a dull lamp on inside, creating just enough brightness to illuminate the room and stop me from freaking out. I hated the dark.

“Is it wrong to do this in your parents’ house?” he asked playfully as he lowered me down onto the bed.

“My family are all staying at the other end of the house. They won’t hear us,” I assured him as I lay on the bed, desperate for him to get down there with me.

“Don’t be so sure about that baby,” He told me with a wink, and I just laughed. I loved this flirty, playful side of him, that I was pretty sure he only ever showed me.

He started to crawl up the bed until he was over me, caging me in. His lips met mine in a gentle touch, then his tongue swiped across the seam of my mouth, demanding entry. I opened for him and the kiss instantly heated up as he devoured my mouth until I was breathless and dizzy with the need for more. He stripped off the shorts and camisole I had worn to bed until I lay before him completely naked and exposed. There was a moment of dread for me that he would be repulsed by my scars, but all I saw when I looked into his eyes was heat and appreciation as he took every inch of me in. The way he looked at me made me feel sexy in a way I wasn’t sure I ever had and that just made me even more needy for his touch.

He smirked at me and how much he already had me writhing, before he started a torturously slow trail of kisses down my body, over my chest, between my breasts, and down to my stomach. His hands roamed up to my breasts, now heaving with every breath and he massaged both with his hands as he continued to place gentle kisses on my stomach. I moaned in delight as he clamped my right nipple gently between his teeth. He kneaded the other with his hand as he sucked and nibbled at the right, sending shocks of pleasure through my body that only made me even more desperate for him. Then he swapped out, giving my left breast the attention of his skilled mouth and I continued to moan and writhe beneath him at the almost explosive need he was building within me. .

“Nick, please…stop teasing. I…I need you.” I whimpered between moans of pleasure. I needed him inside me. I needed him to cure the ache he had caused.

“You sure about this, babe?” he asked as he sat up and studied me.

“Yes, so fucking sure!” I cried. “I love you Nick. I want this…please!”

“I love you too, Evie,” he whispered, then he was leaning it to kiss me again, this time taking his time and only winding up my need even further as I ran my hands over the chiseled abs I had such easy access to.

He kissed me once more then stood from the bed and pulled something from the pocket of his pants. A condom, I realized when he dropped it to the bed beside me.

“Always prepared, are you?” I asked with a grin.

“Only since I met you.”

He dropped his lounge pants and then stood before me completely naked and definitely not shy about it. Not that any man would be shy if they were sporting the equipment Nick was. I couldn’t help but stare.

Thankfully, he distracted me when he climbed the bed on his knees, until I was once again caged in by him and the heated gaze he had me lasered with.

“So fucking beautiful,” he whispered, then he kissed me hard and fast.

“Nick!” I gasped when he stopped and studied me again. “Please…I need you so badly.”

“Better see what we can do about that then, huh?” he teased as his hand smoothed down my body until his fingers found my desperate core. His fingers worked me deftly, touching exactly where I had been crying out for his touch. I was a writhing, moaning mess, completely lost to his magic touch as he skillfully brought me to the brink.

“Nick, I want you…..please. I want you inside me.” I gasped. I was breathless and dizzy, teetering so close to getting exactly what my body was begging for, but I needed Nick closer. I needed to be able to cling to him as we both went over that edge together.

“Fuck, baby. You trying to kill me?” he gasped as he rose on onto his knees and grabbed the condom, tearing it open and rolling it on as quickly as he could.

“I’ll go slow to start with, “ he told me as his eyes locked with mine. I nodded and lay gasping as he lined up with my core and then slid into me gently. He moved slowly and cautiously at first, just as he’d promised, pushing forward little by little, his eyes never once leaving mine.

I reached for him and he leaned forward, resting his weight on his hands as I snaked my arms around his neck.

“More Nick,” I whispered, and he obliged, picking up the pace of his movements as his lips found mine. I clung to him tight as we kissed passionately, his movements never stopping. In moments I was lost to pleasure, the stretch I felt at how much he filled me, only adding to the amazing feelings bubbling within me.

I wrapped my legs around his waist in a bid to feel him even deeper and harder inside of me, and it worked as I was once again getting closer and closer to that edge I was so desperate to crash over.

“Oh God! Nick!” I cried as I got closer and closer, the feeling within me building to a level I wasn’t sure I could even handle. I wanted more, and yet it was also too much. And then Nick altered his position just slightly and it was all it took to send me careening right off of that edge and into the abyss of pure pleasure.

I cried out his name as I clung onto him, scared that if I let him go I’d float off somewhere and never return to earth again.

I heard Nick cry out quietly and knew he’d reached his own edge as his movements slowed and then stopped.

We were a mass of tangled limbs and gasping breaths as we lay clinging to each other and coming down from the amazing high.

It took several minutes for me to catch my breath, but when I did I lifted my head and kissed Nick’s cheek, which was the only part I could get to with his face pressed into my shoulder.

“I love you so much,” I told him.

“Love you too, so fucking much,” he returned, then he lifted his head and the weight of his body from me a little as he looked me over. “You okay?”

“Perfect,” I smiled. “I think I found a good way to relax.”

“Anytime, babe. My door is always open,” he teased with a wink. He gently kissed my forehead before pulling out of me and standing.

“Be back in a minute.” I watched as he headed for the ensuite, presumably to deal with the condom. I stretched out, really feeling more relaxed than I had in days. Nick returned and laid out beside me on his back. He pulled me tight into his side and I happily curled into him, my head on his chest.

We didn’t speak as we just held each other. We didn’t need to. What we had just shared had said so much and I was just content to lie there and be held, knowing I was loved and safe.