Chapter 4
Before he knew what hit him or how he got there, Sam found himself riding in the backseat of Olivia’s pickup truck. After the scene at the pool, she had her teacher call her dad to pick them both up. When Mr. Keller pulled up to the curb and saw a towel clad Olivia and Sam, his eyes narrowed as he did a quick once over of the tall, lanky boy standing next to his daughter.All it took was a look at his hung head and sad eyes for him to decide he shared the same concern for him as his daughter did. When Olivia saw her father’s nod and smile, she threw open the backdoor of the truck and climbed in, scooting over to the other side in silent instruction for Sam to follow.
They rode in silence for a few minutes before Olivia’s father spoke.
“So I take it Swim Day was a bust,” he glanced in the rearview mirror at the two soggy kids.
“We decided to come back to the campground and swim instead, it was kind of crowded,” Olivia casually told her dad. Sam looked over to her and slightly raised an eyebrow, but when she just smiled back, he shrugged and looked out his window.
Being in an unknown car, driving somewhere new, with a stranger, should have been a little unnerving, but instead, he felt comfort, and he had a feeling Olivia knew this was what he needed after the pool debacle. They all rode in companionable quiet for the most part, with Olivia and her dad passing bits of conversation back and forth. Sam liked listening to their father-daughter chatter as he watched his beloved forest pass the car in a blur as they drove the windy road to Olivia’s house. When they pulled up to the campground, Sam sat straighter in his seat as he took in the scene.
It was huge. But not in an overwhelming way, in a welcoming way. He instantly thought of how lucky Olivia was to live smack dab in the middle of his forest, with the trees surrounding the campground at every turn. The arch the truck drove under to enter onto the grounds had a rustic sign that read, “Welcome to Keller Campground,” the road surrounded on both sides by gargantuan redwood trees that led straight to the main building, which was stunning.
The construction of the wood made it look as if the building had sprouted from the ground just as the trees that surrounded it. There was a stone chimney that made Sam think of the cozy fireplace that must be tucked away inside. The wraparound porch made Sam’s jaw drop, as he could see it would lead you around the building to a perfect and unobstructed view of the crystal lake that sat behind it. And it was complete with two rocking chairs, which made him smile, because when he envisioned porches, there always had to be a chair to ease yourself into after the end of a long day. From the minute they drove down the paved road to the beautiful lodge, Sam instantly felt something click into place inside him that had been missing. As Sam felt the sense of completeness overwhelm him, Olivia’s dad pulled into one of the spots marked, ‘staff’ and turned off the ignition.
“Dinner’s at 5, go work up an appetite you two,” he turned around to give Sam a small smile.
“Thanks Dad!” Olivia threw open the door and hopped out. “Come on, let’s go.” She tossed over her shoulder as she started down a path on the side of the office. Still taking in the sight, Sam scrambled after her.
“Where are we going?”
“Down to the lake. I’m going to teach you how to swim, Sam Callahan.”
She didn’t miss a beat as she started down the dock. She tossed her towel down and jumped in the water. Sam cautiously stepped up to the edge of the dock and tentatively set his towel down. Noticing his nerves, she sent a splash his way.
“Alright, you have to start somewhere! This is as good a place as any. It’s shallow, fresh, and it’s just the two of us. Go over to that step ladder and hold on once you get in. It’ll be ok, I promise.” It was the first time anyone had ever promised him anything, and he knew his nerves were safe with Olivia.
Stepping into the cool water, he eased himself in inch by inch. He slowly moved his eyes up from his toes on the step ladder to meet Olivia’s, who was treading water effortlessly.
“Ok, the first thing we’re going to do is float. It’s the most basic safety technique, because if you panic, you can always flip over and float until you can reach safety,” Olivia held her hand out to his, which was still clutching the handle of the rail. Taking a deep breath, he let go and tentatively reached his hand out to her. She took it so firmly, her confidence in him loosening the knot in his stomach.
“Ok, we’re going to ease you in, and when you’re about halfway there, you’re going to lean back, and I’m going to help support you. It’ll feel weird at first, but when you get the hang of it, I’ll let go. I promise I won’t let anything happen to you, Sam.”
Olivia’s eyes were so earnest, Sam had no choice but to trust her. Without saying a word, he began to lean backward, and felt a tingle on the underside of his back, feeling the brush of Olivia’s hands that were gently but soundly supporting him.
“Close your eyes and try to relax,” Olivia whispered above his face, sensing his tense limbs. “Breathe, in and out slowly. Pretend you’re laying on the forest floor, with the birds and sun overhead, and there is no one around but you.”
She could feel his limbs start to loosen and his breathing became more even. Gently lowering her hands from his back, she released her support, but didn’t move an inch from him. Looking down into his face, she had never seen him look more at peace.
Sam could feel the instant Olivia stopped touching him, almost like the line that was holding him steady suddenly snapped and he felt himself lost instantly. He kept his eyes closed for a minute or two and just focused on his breath, afraid if he opened his eyes he would immediately go under beneath Olivia’s gaze. Taking one more deep breath, he opened his eyes and found Olivia looking down at him so intently. But rather than sink under the weight of her gaze, he had never felt lighter in his life. Her answering smile to him shot fireworks off in his belly, and he decided that this was the happiest moment he’d ever experienced in his ten years of life. That he had found a true friend, who knew him so completely and accepted him anyway. He wanted her to know that he would do the same for her, even if there were some things that she hadn’t disclosed to him yet. But floating in the water made him feel brave enough to finally ask the question that had been on his mind for a while.
“Hey, Liv?” He said as he looked directly into her eyes.
“Hmm?” She answered as she stood above him.
“Where is your mom?” Sam could see the flash of pain that crossed her eyes, but she hid it quickly by looking above him out across the lake. She rolled her bottom lip into her top, her beautiful mouth forming a hard, thin line.
“She died giving birth to me,” she said, still not meeting Sam’s eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Liv,” She didn’t answer for a moment, she just continued to tread water, Sam began to think she wasn’t going to answer him, and he kicked himself for even bringing it up. He was scrambling trying to think of something to say to fix it when she took a deep breath and spoke.
“It’s been my dad and I for as long as I can remember. And he is the best. So when I was little I never felt the loss of not having a mom. But a couple of years ago, when he was the only dad at a birthday party, I asked him where my mom was. He told me, and of course I was sad, but I honestly didn’t know any different.”
She took another deep breath and continued to look out across the lake, the place that always gave her a sense of calm. She rarely thought of her mother, but on the days she crept into her thoughts, she was overcome with so many different emotions. Guilt that she was the reason her mother wasn’t here anymore. Complete sadness that she would grow up without the warmth of a mother’s love. And anger that her father had to live without the love of his life. But growing up with those feelings taught her that life was very rarely fair, and you had to make the best of whatever hand you were dealt in life. Perhaps that’s why she felt such a kinship with Sam, he seemed to live his life the same way despite his unfortunate circumstances.
Sam was still floating - I can’t believe I haven”t drowned yet - and when he looked up into Olivia’s eyes and saw the unshed tears shimmering behind the beautiful blue, his heart broke. She always acted confident and strong and fearless, this was the first time Sam had seen that she may be fighting some demons of her own. So he resolved that he wasn’t going to let her fight them by herself, he was going to fight them right alongside her.
Recalling his words from earlier in the day at the pool, that he felt he didn’t belong anywhere, floated through his mind. Right now, in this moment, hovering on his back in the calm water, the serenity of the woods he loved so much surrounding them, and those big, beautiful blue eyes looking down on him, Sam realized this was the only place he belonged – with Olivia.