Keller and Callahan

Chapter 11

The forest felt the same. How could it possibly feel the same after ten years away? Sam was expecting to feel like a stranger as he wound his way through the roads that led to Keller Campground. His heart certainly made him feel like an imposter, but guiding his truck around the twists and turns of the two lane road felt eerily familiar.

After that fateful letter he’d received from his father right before his eighteenth birthday, he told himself day after day, year after year, that he would never come back. The threat gave him absolutely no other choice to make. Yet, each and every moment being away from Olivia never got any easier, and the emotional barriers he had constructed around his heart to shield himself from happiness, reminders of the hurt he caused her, formed an impenetrable fortress around his heart. He winced at the irony that the person he held responsible for his suffering was now the reason he broke the promise he made to himself to stay away.

Taking the last bend that led to Kellers was a perplexing feeling. Building up ten years of tension and regret at losing his safe haven had taken a toll on him, but he wasn’t at all surprised that pulling up to the campground gave him a peaceful sense of coming home.

Pushing the truck door closed, he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Tucking the keys into the front pocket of his Levis, he took a look around as he strode to the building that held the lobby. He felt as if he had been transported from a time machine, everything looked and felt the same.

The main building still had the forest green roof and matching shutters. The wood that made up the wrap-around porch showed some wear and tear, but it only added to the comfort that there had been many families to have wandered through this building to make lasting memories at the resort. A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth when he looked down at the threshold to see the Welcome mat that he had given Ray on the last Christmas before he was sent away.

Walking into the lodge, Sam was immediately comforted realizing it still smelled the same. The faint smell of pine and smoke filled his lungs as he was instantly transported back to when he was twelve years old, sitting with Olivia in those cozy chairs, sipping hot cocoa as the rain pitter pattered outside.

Surveying the room, he noticed the furniture had been updated, but the big leather couch and chairs looked worn and inviting, sitting next to the grand fireplace that stood as the centerpiece on the far wall. He wasn’t surprised to see the same desk that was used for check-in, although he knew this was a piece that was as much ingrained in the resort as the trees that surrounded it. Olivia’s grandparents had cut down one of the evergreens that stood where the lodge stands now, and refinished it to sit in the main lobby to greet guests as they came in to begin their stay. It looked as if it had grown straight out of the ground right in the middle of the room, which was precisely the feeling they were aiming for.

Casting his eyes up from the desk, he was full of apprehension as to who he would find standing behind it. Seeing the back of a gentleman as he organized papers, Sam let a small exhale go that he had a bit more time before facing Olivia. Taking a deep breath, he stepped up to the desk and straight into the past.

“Can I help –”, Ray’s voice cut off as he turned around and took in the man standing in front of him. “Sam?”

“Mr. Keller.” Sam gave him a forced smile to hide his nerves which were a bundle of knots tied up inside his gut.

“Oh my God, it’s been, what? Ten years?” Ray asked incredulously, running a hand through his thinning hair.

“It’s good to see you, Mr. Keller.” A true and easy smile now crossed his features, as he began to realize how good it felt to see him. And how much he had missed the man who had been like a father to him for years.

Flashbacks flooded his mind of Ray”s influence, and how it shaped him into the person he was today. From teaching him to drive and then gifting him his old truck on his sixteenth birthday, to showing him how to fix a leaky faucet, and even how to slow dance and two-step properly - should he ever work up the courage to ask Olivia to Prom. The memory of him and Ray swaying to a slow song in the family room while Olivia was on lifeguard duty brought a smile to his face, and would be something both men would take to their graves.

“Sam, I’ve always been Ray to you, and even now that I’m an old man, we’re not going to start with the Mr. bullshit.” He made his way around the desk and wrapped Sam in a hug.

Sam could count on one hand how many times he had been embraced by someone who truly cared about him in the last decade. The physical connection with Ray evoked a painful twist in his heart, serving as a stark reminder that he didn”t just abandon Olivia years ago; he also left Ray – the man who had treated him like his own son. This realization brought forth a fresh wave of shame.

“Wow, you look great. You sure did grow up, what have you been doing all these years?” Ray asked as he pulled away to survey his face.

There was a stiffness to him that hadn’t been there when he was a teen, but rather than nerves, he believed it to be because of something deeper. No doubt thanks to the demons he had been slaying over the past decade, if his past was any indication.

“I’ve been in Las Vegas. My job keeps me pretty busy.” Desperately needing to change the subject, he surveyed the space. “Everything here looks great. It feels the same, but you’ve done some nice updates.”

There was a small and subtle feminine touch that ran throughout the room. Like a long lost lover who was welcoming the weary traveler back to the comfort of home.

“Well, thank you, that was the idea. I can’t take any credit though. Any updates or changes you see are all Olivia. That girl has been a slave driver the past few years since she’s taken over.” If Ray saw the tightness in Sam’s jaw at the mention of Olivia, he didn’t comment.

Clearing his throat, he shoved his hands into his front pockets. “Well, how long are you planning on staying with us?”

“A few weeks. I have some time off work, and this trip is years in the making.”

Sam intentionally failed to mention the true purpose of his visit - he intended to keep the truth close to the vest until he saw Olivia and could tell her everything. He had made a personal vow to protect the Kellers from the real reason for his return and he was going to stick to it. Knowing the distress they had already endured because of him, he was determined not to cause them any further pain.

“Well, it’s really good to see you, Sam. We’ve really missed you around here. All of us have.” His eyes met Sam’s with warmth.

Not missing the innuendo, Sam’s hands tightened on the cabin keys when Ray handed them over to him, realizing this was all too real. The anguish in his heart consumed him, making it a challenge to resist wrapping Ray back in a hug and beg his forgiveness right in the middle of the lobby. However, the overwhelming reality of returning home caught him off guard, prompting him to put up the facade of confidence - a shield he had maintained ever since he departed all those years ago - in an attempt to fool others and conceal the enduring pain he constantly bore.

“Thanks Ray, it feels good to be back,” he said as he reached down for his bag and headed toward the door.

There was a confident swagger to him as he strode away that Ray hadn’t seen before. One of the many new features about him that made him no longer a boy, but a man. A man that seemed to be carrying the weight on his shoulders but doing his very best to hide it in the only way he knew how.

“Hey, Sam?”

He turned over his shoulder in pause, his hand still on the handle.

“Olivia spends her evenings down by the family dock.” Sam said nothing as he walked out the door, his head hanging a little lower than it was when he walked in.

It had been two days since Sam had checked into the lodge. Two damn days! She was dumbfounded that he had the audacity to continue to stay radio silent after checking in, knowing Olivia was well aware of his arrival. Olivia was still just as fired up as the moment her dad found her on the dock and had told her the news.

She was telling herself she wasn’t avoiding him, but rather was working out the right words to say to him. She had been dying to see Sam for over a decade, but suddenly she wanted some more time to gather her emotions.

She would be lying to herself if she hadn’t thought about this moment for years. What she would say. How she would feel. How’d she’d give him a nice slap across the face. She wouldn’t admit to herself that even though the main emotion she wanted to harness was anger, excitement was consuming her entire body. But she wouldn’t let it win.

She knocked on his cabin door with purpose — if he was going to have the nerve to show up at the resort after ten years and not immediately come find her to explain himself, she was going to make his sorry ass realize that was a mistake. She took a step back on the porch as she waited for him to answer and straightened her shoulders in a sign of confidence to herself. She forced herself to exhale when she heard shuffling on the other side of the door and ordered her clenched fists to relax. She was a nervous wreck but no way in hell was she going to show him that. The door opened and she felt all the blood drain from her face.

He was even more striking than she remembered. Even as a child he had been gorgeous, but age had only enhanced his looks. He was tall, a good four inches taller than when he had left her that summer, standing a few inches over six feet tall. His mane was still the beautiful dark chestnut, and was long enough to be mussed to perfection, as if he had been running his fingers through it before he answered the door. His skin was still the golden olive, but wasn’t quite as dark as when he had been lifeguarding at the campground all those years ago.

But the one thing that hadn’t changed through the years were his eyes. They were still the same piercing green, yet now there was much more steel behind them, proof those alluring green eyes had seen some more darkness, even more so than what the teenager had when she had known him.

But despite all of the memories she held close to her heart over the years, the man standing in front of her was a stranger.

And yet, he was still absolutely and effortlessly gorgeous.

“Liv,” he said reverently, and couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face.

“Callahan,” she briskly pushed past him into the cabin.

It was thrilling and shameful to watch that wonderful mouth quirk in the familiar grin, his impossibly green eyes not breaking contact with her own. Immediately realizing the confines of the cabin were just too much for all her taut emotions, she marched toward the back door and made her way to the patio on the deck. Moving to the railing overlooking the lake, she gripped her hands on the banister, keeping her back towards Sam. Taking a deep breath, she spun around with a fire in her eyes.

She left Sam speechless. She was even more beautiful than he remembered, which was difficult to believe. Her blue eyes were hot with anger, and her golden blonde hair cascaded in loose waves to the middle of her back. Her legs were long and lean, tanned to perfection from where they emerged from her snug jean shorts that hugged her in all the right places. As Sam gazed into her eyes, a flood of memories overwhelmed him, and couldn’t for the life of him remember why he ever stayed away.

“Liv, it’s really good to see you.” He said with a genuine smile on his lips, his fingers itching to reach out and touch her.

“Is it?” she shot back, crossing her arms across her chest defiantly.

Two words out of her mouth were all it took to drop a chill into the warmth of the morning sun. “Could have fooled me. Turning your back on this place for over a decade without so much as a phone call, I can’t say that it’s good to see you.”

“It’s been a long time.”

If Olivia hadn’t been glaring at him straight in the eyes, she would have missed the instant flash of anguish in them before he blinked it away. Ten years had passed since she’d seen his smile, since she had been protectively held by his strong arms. Ten years to mourn him, to cry for him, and to hate him. But what in God’s name was she going to do with the deep yearning in her belly just by looking at him again?

“No shit it’s been a long time. Why the hell are you here?” she demanded through clenched teeth.

Her temper was urging her to physically push him back, but his solid, sturdy frame would only make her attempt futile, instead she decided to wield indifference to pay him back for all the years he’d left her heartbroken and alone.

“I have some business, and thought it was time to make my way back. Let you know everything that has been going on in my life,” he crossed his arms as he leaned against the door frame, sensing her fury and knowing her well enough to let her work through her emotions and not push too hard too fast.

Pure self-preservation kept Sam’s voice steady, if he didn’t keep a grip on himself and play his cards exactly right, he would lose all hope of slipping back into her life. So despite her sharp and accusing tone, his posture stayed relaxed, and that just pissed Olivia off even more.

“Business, huh?” Olivia scoffed and looked him over from head to toe.

She could feel her body radiating with anger, so pissed at herself that despite everything, all she wanted to do was throw herself into his arms and never let go. But there was no way in hell she was opening herself up to him again.

He made a low sound in his throat, confirming her question, but nothing more, knowing if he opened his mouth, he would say too much too soon.

He couldn’t take his eyes off her. The way her eyes ignited with the lake sparkling behind her. The way the setting sun was casting a bright halo around her gleaming hair. He had stored a multitude of memories of her in his brain over the years, but nothing came close to the gut punch of her standing right in front of him. But the feeling he couldn’t seem to shake was that despite the decade that had been spaced between them, gazing at her now, with the lake that had once been his home glistening behind her, it felt as if he had never left.

“Business.” Olivia’s sharp tone pulled Sam back into the moment, and he was reminded why he was here. “Business brings you back here after almost ten years. Not my dad, who took you in as his own. Not this campground that was not only your job but your home. And especially not me, the girl who was your best friend, who loved you and cried for you for months, never knowing where you were or how you were doing. No, you definitely didn’t come back for that poor, pathetic girl. Who would?”

He winced as he took in her words. It took him a minute to respond, and ignored the sting of regret that pierced his heart with the truth of her words.

“Yes, I am here on business, but there is a lot I need to explain to you, Liv. I hope you can give me that chance.”

He pushed off against the wall and slowly stepped towards her, his eyes softening as he saw the hurt on her face. All he wanted to do in that moment was get on his knees and beg her forgiveness, to tell her he knew what a complete bastard he had been to abandon her the way he did. The truth was sitting on the tip of his tongue begging to escape, to tell her everything, to explain. But now that she was standing in front of him, all his carefully crafted plans on how to handle this situation went up in smoke.

“There’s not a snowball”s chance in hell that I’m going to let you near me, or my dad. He was crushed when you left too, ya know.” She saw him flinch, but he pulled it back almost immediately in an effort to regain his composure.

“I know I hurt you both, and there are not enough words to explain how sorry I am. But there are things you don’t understand.” Her eyes flashed to him and they were blue smoke.

“Things I don’t understand. Right...” She trailed off and paused.

Taking a deep breath to bury her anger, she continued, her voice even and calm.

“Like me, at ten years old not understanding that two parents could leave their son to fend for himself for weeks on end. Or me at sixteen years old not understanding how the flesh and blood of my best friend could willingly abuse his own son. Or me at twenty two years old, a new college graduate, who finally, for the first time truly realized the boy she loved was never coming back. You’re right, there is no possible way I could ever understand anything that was going on in your life.”

Her glare pierced into his eyes with a fire so hot, Sam felt his heart crack right down the middle. It broke for the girl he hurt and left behind, and for the woman he saw before him, full of hate and power.

“Liv, they were things I didn’t want you to have to understand.” He said softly, reaching out a hand and tenderly brushing it against hers.

“Well, you didn’t even give me the courtesy to make that decision for myself, did you?” She fired back and pulled her hand away from his grasp.

“It was better this way,” his brows furrowed together as his eyes darkened.

“You’re right, you being as far away from this place is the better way,” she tossed over her shoulder as she pushed past him in the doorway. “Enjoy your stay, Callahan.”

Sam flinched as he heard the front door slam, just like the way he felt the door on Olivia’s heart had slammed shut on him.