Chapter 15
The unwanted blaring buzz of her phone awoke Olivia with a jolt. She groaned while tossing a pillow at her nightstand as she rolled over wanting to slip back into unconsciousness. Sunday was her day to sleep in, damn it.
Just as the haze of sleep began to envelop her again, a creak of the door sounded, and her eyes flashed open. Trying to decipher where the noise came from through the sleep residue in her eyes, she gave up after a few seconds of silence. A couple more minutes passed by too quickly and a barely audible sound surfaced on the other side of the room. Not bothering to open her eyes, Olivia flung one of her pillows in the direction of the door.
And then she was suddenly beaten with it.
“Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty!” Cassie’s sing-songy voice immediately shook Olivia into full consciousness.
“Go away,” she groaned as she rolled over to the other side of the bed.
“Sleep is for the weak, and bitch, you are not weak,” Cassie huffed as she pulled back the covers and hopped into bed next to her.
A complete contrast to Olivia’s fair looks, Cassie’s dark hair and eyes were a bit exotic and mysterious, which made her a magnet for the guys while they were in college. Cassie called herself a serial dater, never fully committing herself to the same guy for more than three dates.
They both laid in silence before Cassie decided to break it. “So. How are your bruises?”
“What are you talking about?” Olivia mumbled into her pillow.
“I’m just wondering how your bruises are, because, girl, you are falling hard. You never miss Sunday Brunch at the bar. I had a spicy bloody mary with your name on it. Figured you missing it, probably has something to do with Sam Callahan, the beautiful, green eyed man,” Cassie said to the ceiling.
Olivia snorted in retort as she rolled over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling along with her. “What? When you work behind a bar, gossip travels fast. You don’t even want to know all the secrets these ears have overheard. But I did hear what happened the other night.”
Olivia just laid in silence before she huffed out a deep breath. Sensing her friend’s frustration, Cassie snuggled in closer to her. “It’s ok, you know. To feel the way you do. There is a lot of history there,” Cassie said quietly.
There was a slight pause before Olivia answered. “It scares me, Cass,” Olivia squeezed her eyes shut to ward off the sheen of tears that were threatening to break through her carefully crafted dam.
Cassie turned her head to look at her. “What does?”
“If I let myself get close to him, how am I going to pick up the pieces when he leaves again? You know how long it took me last time. And now I’m not some immature high schooler on summer break who could stay in bed all day with you and eat Ben and Jerrys until we were sick.”
“Hey, I am a firm believer that Chunky Monkey is the answer to all life’s problems. Especially those problems involving a penis,” Cassie said matter of factly.
Chuckling, Olivia adjusted the covers and threw them over her head. “But now I have the resort. I have too much on my shoulders. So many people counting on me, so much responsibility. I need to keep him at a distance. I cannot let him pull me under again.”
Pausing and pondering Olivia’s declaration, Cassie continued to look at the ceiling. “Well, it sounds like you’ve got it all figured out,” she said dryly.
Peeking out from underneath her comforter, eyebrows raised, she turned to face her friend. “Whoa, what was that tone you just gave me?”
“That was my therapist-bartender-tone I pull out when someone tells me all their problems and secrets after four or five drinks. You like?” Cassie preened while examining her perfectly polished manicure.
“No. I don’t like. Knock it off.”
“Ok. I’m going to say one more thing then the therapist has to go saddle up behind the bar and serve bottomless mimosas all day. Can I say it without you smacking me?”
“I make no promises,” Olivia grumbled into her pillow.
“You have missed him and thought about him for years, wondering what would have happened if he would have come back after graduation. Well, it may have taken him a little longer than expected, but now he’s back. Maybe this is your chance to know.”
“Do you charge people at the bar for your therapy sessions? You’re kind of brilliant,” Olivia said as she grabbed Cassie”s hand and held it between them.
“Oh, no charging necessary. After a few hand pats, and ‘there there”s’, I usually get a nice, fat tip and send them on their merry way.” She smiled as Olivia laughed beside her. “And if you’re worried about the after shock of how things turn out, if anyone can get through it, it’s you. You are one tough chick, Olivia Keller, and I think it’s time you remember that.” She squeezed Olivia’s hand in solidarity and support.
“I love you. Remind me to tip you later.” Cassie shot her best friend a wicked grin and hopped out of bed.
“Screw the tip. Get your ass up, get dressed, and let’s go drink some bloody mary’s - the first round is on you.”
Sam sat on the deck of his cabin blankly staring at his laptop, the spreadsheets and emails blurred into a mass of unfocus. He promised his team back in Las Vegas that even though he was taking time away from the youth center, he was still going to work remotely. Even though he cherished bonding with the children the most at work, being the big boss and brain behind the company”s growth meant he had to swap cozy chats for a more serious suit-and-tie game.
Almost as if the universe heard his thoughts, his cell phone began to ring. Looking at the number on his screen, he slid the button to answer the call from his best friend and business partner.
“Jensen,” Sam answered the phone briskly.
“Hey Callahan, how’s it goin?” Sam leaned back in his chair as his best friend continued on. “Not gonna lie, I thought with you being on vacation, you would have a more cheery greeting for me. Something like, ‘Oh hey Jensen! The man, the myth, the legend, who is covering all things Sam Callahan related while I lounge around a beautiful resort for weeks on end.’” Jensen drawled into the other end of the phone, his southern roots shining through the other end of the receiver.
Sam and Jensen had first crossed paths on his eighteenth birthday, when he was raw and distraught. Fast forward to a few months later when they were volunteering at the local Y, they both noticed how it was being run into the ground, so Sam had decided to do something about it. After many ‘business meetings’ discussed over endless pints of beers, even more meetings with loan officers and investors, and four years of legwork, Callahan’s had officially been born.
Jensen had helped Sam build it from the ground up, literally, installing insulation and painting the walls of the building they now called a sanctuary. At least that was Sam’s hope. To create a safe space for troubled teens to connect with others who knew what they were going through, with access to adults who could help them through those trials and tribulations. But most of all, being a place where no matter the time of day, someone would always be there should they need a safe place to go.
“Thanks Jones. How is everything going up there?” He asked as he relished the view of the lake from his beautiful deck patio.
“Oh you know, just juggling a million things at once, but all things are good considering. How is it going on your end? Is she speaking to you?” Sam could practically see Jensen on the other end, casually leaning back in his desk chair and nonchalantly crossing his ankle over his knee.
Raking his hand over his face, he responded. “Speaking to me, yes. Letting me back in? Hmm, debatable.”
“Well, if anyone can charm her back into your good graces, it’s me. I’ll be down in a couple days to show her what a true southern gentleman looks like,” Jensen ribbed.
“Like hell you will, Jones,” Sam snarled.
“Ok ok, I’m kidding. I’m kidding. But really, I’m going to take a trip down for a few days. We need to talk about some things. Carolyn has things handled up here, I’ve already cleared it with her,” Jensen relayed on the other line.
“Don’t worry about it, I have things under control down here.” Sam readjusted his backwards ball cap and put it back on his head.
“No offense man, but it sounds like you need all the help you can get.” Jensen teased.
“Always the arrogant asshole.” But Sam smiled in spite of himself.
“Born and raised. Hey, my other line is ringing, but I’ll check back in with you in a few days. Later man.” The line disconnected and Sam was enveloped in quiet.
Slamming his laptop shut, he stood and began to pace the deck, simply not being able to stay still, needing to get out of his cozy cabin.
And where will you go, Jackass? On another pathetic walk around the resort hoping you’ll bump into her?
He hadn’t seen her since he dropped her off at her cottage the night of the bar. While it seemed she was beginning to let her guard down while they were dancing, by the time he walked her to her door, he could feel the wall was back up between them. But the wall she put up just made him want to bust it down even more. His desire for her was starting to consume him, but he told himself to be patient, to give her time.
Every time he’d been tempted to seek her out over the past two days, he’d gone for a swim in the lake, losing count of how many miles he swam. Desire for her consumed him constantly, especially since seeing her in person for the first time in over a decade was more powerful than he had thought possible.
He had waited ten years, he could wait a little longer to let her come around and make sure he didn’t push her away. He knew what he did to her was unforgivable, and it was going to take a lot of work on his end to rectify his mistakes. But holy shit. If waiting when she was close enough to touch didn’t kill him, her shutting him out for good definitely would.
He would give her time, but almost two full days without seeing her was driving him crazy, and it only got worse with each passing hour. Going to bed each night knowing she was sleeping only a short walk away was pure torture. He knew coming back was going to be a shock to her, and he knew it wasn’t going to be easy, he had absolutely crushed her. Olivia had always had such a pure and open heart, but because of that, when her heart breaks, it shatters. And he never let himself forget for one single day that his decision to stay away was the sole reason she had a fortress built up around herself.
And let’s be honest. He couldn’t blame her.
Olivia possessed so much strength, her self-protection only made Sam admire her so much more. But he would be damned if all of their story stayed in the past. He needed to help her realize that all of the emotions and memories they had together could carry their bond into the future.
He knew choosing to stay away was the only choice he could make to protect her from the monster of their past, and he understood she was hurt and pissed and confused. But now that he was here, he couldn’t stay away from her anymore. Every minute that passed made him want to see her that much more.
Fuck it.
He’d waited forty-eight hours, it was time he went to find her. Tossing his laptop onto the couch inside, he locked the door and with his head down in determination, ran down the deck stairs.
And straight into Olivia.
“Liv. Hey. I was just on my way to find you.” He shoved both hands into his pockets.
“Oh yeah? Great minds.” A soft exhalation of breath. “I was actually coming by to see if you wanted to take a walk,” she looked up at him tentatively.
And seeing him in his signature backwards ballcap for the first time in ten years almost undid her right there on the spot.
“Sure.” They strode down the porch and fell into step with each other. Without thinking, Sam reached for her hand. Looking down at her, he asked, “This ok?”
“It’s ok,” she said, returning his eyes.
She could feel his hand relax and warm around hers. The electric shock she felt by such a simple touch sent goosebumps down her arms. They walked in silence for a few moments, taking in the sounds of the campground as they walked. Kids laughing as they splashed in the water, the distant sound of a boat speeding across the lake, and the background noise of people making conversations and memories that Olivia knew would last a lifetime.
That was her favorite part of working and living at the lodge. Knowing that her family had a part in creating a place where people could come together in nature, be free, and enjoy themselves. Where kids would make lifelong friends playing basketball at the Rec Center. Where adults would lose themselves in their cocktails at happy hour and stumble back to their cabins in companionable laughter. Where teenagers would have their first kiss under the stars and remember it for the rest of their lives. She loved knowing that Keller Campground was a source of happiness for so many.
And now here she was, strolling along the familiar grounds, holding hands with the boy that had given her so much happiness all those years ago. Was she willing to risk letting him give that to her again? With the setting sun slipping behind the lake, and the strong hand holding hers, it made it a lot easier to think about saying yes.
“So how was your day? Sunday is your day off, right?” He looked down at her right as she met his eyes.
“Yeah. I tried to sleep in, before Cassie came in and dragged me to the bar for bottomless bloody marys.” Her free hand tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear.
Raising an eyebrow in response, he smirked. “She had to drag you, huh?”
“Ok, fine. I went willingly. And may or may not have indulged in one too many, went home and took a glorious two hour nap.” Sam let go a laugh that sounded like liquid gold and the sound of it made Olivia’s insides tighten.
“You know, it’s kind of crazy to think I’ve never seen you intoxicated before. I bet you make an adorable drunk.” He gave her one of her favorite crooked smiles.
“Adorable isn’t the word I would use. More like, uninhibited,” she said slyly. The sultry look she gave Sam from underneath her long lashes made him stiffen in response.
Jesus. Sam couldn’t believe the power she had over him. Just one look and it could bring him to his knees. His thumb began to stroke her hand in a small gesture of affection, and before they knew it, they had unconsciously ended up at the refinished dock that Sam’s father had set fire to a decade prior. Sam immediately recognized they had put in an aluminum one instead of replacing it with a similar wood dock that was so easily destroyed by one single match. Feeling the need to acknowledge it, he turned towards her.
“Liv–”
“Sam.” Olivia cut him off before he could say more. “You want to know what I think about any time I come down to this dock?”
“I have a pretty good idea,” he mumbled as his eyes turned hard.
“I think about that first day I brought you to the lodge. The day I taught you how to swim. I think about that day because it was the beginning of everything. The real beginning of our friendship. The beginning of your love for swimming and running the life-guard program for my dad. The beginning of feelings I didn’t know were possible to have at such a young age. Every time I look at that dock I think of two ten year old kids floating on their backs, looking up at the sky, knowing we had everything ahead of us. Together. I don’t think about the night we were standing on it, with your face swollen and bruised from your dad beating you the night before. Feeling helpless as we stood in front of your father before he lit the match that set fire to our lives. I can’t think about that night. Because when I do, it’s too painful. Too painful to think about how the most important person in my life was ripped away from me and then decided never to come back. I can’t think about that, Sam. So I don’t.”
Olivia didn’t want to waste any more time fighting what she felt for Sam, what she had always felt for him. She had never felt so connected to anyone in her life, that included the ten years they had spent apart. Sam could hurt her. He already had. But all of the pain she had felt in his absence was replaced with unabashed happiness in his presence. Letting him in again was an emotional risk, but shutting him out and hiding her feelings would be running away like a coward. And she was not a fucking coward.
Sam looked down at her with piercing eyes as he was processing everything she was saying. His eyes had seen more pain than she could ever imagine, and she was reminded of how she had wanted to be the only one to be able to soften it for him.
“Sam, I missed you so much,” she whispered.
Lifting their joined hands, he kissed the inside of her wrist so softly she thought she might break. “I missed you too, Liv.”
“Did you? Because you never called. You never wrote. You never came back,” her eyes pleaded with him, and his heart shattered into a million pieces just looking at the pain in hers.
Grabbing her other hand so he clutched them both in between their bodies, he squeezed them tight. “I’m here now,” he whispered as he pulled her close.
“I know. But I am terrified that when you’re not, I won’t be able to pick up the pieces again.”
“Olivia. The last thing I have ever wanted to do was hurt you. I beat myself up every fucking day when I think of the pain I caused you. That my family caused you. But in my mind, I was keeping you safe. All I have ever wanted was to protect you. And I’m so sorry that I screwed that up. But I am not planning to be without you. Ever.”
She wanted nothing more than to give her heart to him, but this time she didn’t think she could survive losing it. Everything inside her told her to snap the locks shut and run the other way. But looking up into Sam’s eyes, she saw so many emotions washing across his face. Pain, anguish, guilt, shame, sadness. But the underlying one was love. That one part of him overcame anything else and made up her mind. As much as she had been fighting against it, she was tired of running from Sam’s ghost, and decided to run towards the man.
Taking a fortifying breath, she stepped toward him and closed the distance between them. “Sam. You always stayed with me. Even though you weren’t physically here, you were always with me.”
He let out a gasp of breath. He couldn’t take it anymore. The electricity sparking between them made him feel anxious and hungry. His eyes dropped to her mouth where she bit her lip, almost in welcome. He dipped his head slowly, and Olivia shook with anticipation and need.
One trembling hand came up to frame her jaw. “I have wanted to kiss you for fifteen years.”
“Well, what are you waiting for?” she whispered back.
Accepting her invitation with all the gratitude he had in him, he inhaled a breath right before his lips touched hers. His tongue slipped inside her mouth, sampling slowly, as if he were giving her the chance to pull away. But there was no hesitation in her lips. She leaned in deeper to him and felt each single brush of his lips shoot through every nerve ending of her body. It was as if each pull of the kiss was drawing her deeper into him, falling into the arms of the boy she used to know and the man she was getting to know now.
His other hand let go of hers and snaked around her waist, wrapping her tighter against his body. No longer curious, Sam took complete control of Olivia’s mouth and body, as if sealing their hearts together in the embrace. Even though this was the first time he’d ever kissed her, Olivia felt as if he knew her body better than she did. The way his tongue slipped in and out of hers with such familiarity, but then plunged back in with a need so deep, as if he stopped kissing her would make him explode. Despite his mouth moving with such control and power, the hand cupping her face was so gentle and pure, cherishing her in such a way that she felt she would fall apart if he ever let go.
Slowing the kiss, he shakily pulled away and laid his forehead to hers. “Olivia Keller, you have been my favorite person since I was ten years old. You have held me together every single day since I met you, and I feel like it will kill me if I ever let you go.”
“So don’t,” she panted next to his ear.
And then she pulled him in for a deeper kiss as she wrapped her arms around his neck. So there they stood, on the very dock that tore them apart ten years ago, and decided that they were going to put the two pieces of themselves back together again.