Chapter Three
“Kian,” Gretchen whispered. She’d never heard that name before. It was like Ian, but with a ‘k’ in front of it.
She hoped that his memory was slowly coming back. She couldn’t fathom not remembering anything at all.
Her thoughts drifted to his potential family, who must be feeling anxious and worried about his disappearance. Unfortunately, there was no way to reach out to them until he remembered more. The whole situation was frustrating.
Gretchen understood that Kian must be facing even greater frustration. Still, she couldn’t help but smile at the name.
When he appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, she looked at him and mentally groaned. He was so handsome.
“You need a shave,” she said, grinning.
“Yeah, I know,” he said as he ran his hand over his whiskered jaw.
“I have some disposable razors.”
“I’d appreciate that. I didn’t even think about it when I was in the shower. I feel better though.”
“Let me get you one. I have shaving cream too.”
“It’s not going to be flowery, is it?”
Gretchen laughed. “No. Actually it’s a well-known men’s brand. I like how creamy it is, and it’s non-scented, so you won’t smell flowery .”
Kian grinned. “Good.”
She stared at him. He smile was just gorgeous.
“Uh, well, I’ll get you a razor. I also have an extra toothbrush.” She strode past him, entered the bathroom, took a razor from the bag and along with the toothbrush, she placed them on the sink.
“I’ll be right out. If I don’t shave now, it’ll be worse in the morning. By the way, what day is it?”
“It’s Saturday. You’ve been here since Wednesday, but I have no idea how long you’ve been missing.”
“I’m sure someone is looking for me, but I can’t tell you who it would be.” He shook his head. “Has the snow let up at all?”
“It’s not as heavy, but it hasn’t stopped.”
“Okay. I’ll be right back.”
Gretchen huffed out a breath. His nearness made her heart go into overdrive, but he could be married, engaged, or involved with someone. Neither of them knew right now. But she was so attracted to him, and nothing could happen between them, not until he knew who he was or if he had any commitments.
As she spooned the beef stew into bowls, he came back into the kitchen. Even though he’d shaved, there was a faint shadow on his face. Stop staring at the man!
“That smells fantastic,” he said.
“I always make a big pot of it and freeze it in containers.”
“So, it’s not from a can?”
“Nope. I made it. My mother loves to cook, and she made sure I learned too.”
“Is she still living?”
“Yes. My parents live in Clifton.”
“Clifton.” He shook his head. “Shouldn’t I know where that is? I mean, I was here, so I should know it.”
“Maybe your memory will continue coming back like your name did. Just out of the blue.”
“I was talking to another man in my dream, but I couldn’t see his face, but there was something about him that was familiar. He said my name.” Kian shook his head.
“Come sit down. You’ll remember, but you can’t try too hard.”
“I know.” He stood beside the chair.
“Please, sit.” Gretchen motioned to the chair.
“I will, after you.”
“Well, you have manners. That’s always good.”
“I’m glad I remembered those,” he said, grinning.
“Are you sure you’re comfortable on the floor?”
“Yes, I tried the bed, but my feet hang over the bottom and my body barely fit on the mattress.”
Gretchen grinned as she spooned stew into a bowl for him, then set it in front of him, and sat down, then he did.
“It’s a twin size. I don’t get many guests.”
“It doesn’t bother you being here alone?”
“I have Lobo. He takes care of me.”
“No shit,” he muttered then apologized. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Swearing.”
She laughed. “It doesn’t bother me. I swear too.”
“Okay, but my mother wouldn’t like it—” He frowned. “How do I know that?”
“Well, most mothers expect their sons to be gentlemen.”
“I agree.” Kian sighed. “I hope, if my parents are living, I’m not causing them pain.”
“I do too. I’m sure they’re very worried about you.”
“I hate that.”
“There’s nothing we can do about it right now.” She spooned some beef stew into her mouth.
Kian nodded, took a bite of stew and moaned. “Damn, this is good.”
Gretchen laughed. “You just swore again.”
He looked surprised then laughed. “I did, didn’t I? I apologize.”
“Oh, please. I could make a sailor blush, so don’t hold your tongue around me. Be yourself.”
“As much as I can be.” He sighed.
“Nothing came to you even looking in the mirror?”
“All I saw was a stranger staring back at me. It’s so damn frustrating.”
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I wish I could help you, but remembering your name was a start.”
“I suppose so. I just hope I’m not worrying anyone, but I bet I am.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sure you have a family worrying about you. Your parents, maybe siblings, and friends. I don’t know how to help. There hasn’t been anything on TV about it either.”
“Well, at least that proves I’m not a criminal on the run. The news would mention it if only to alert people.”
“That’s true. We need to look up your information.”
“How? For what? A man gone missing?” He sighed. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a smartass. I just want to know who I am.”
“I understand. I do believe it will come back to you, but it might take some time.”
“As long as it’s not too long.”
“I would think there would be something about you somewhere. Your family would post something, don’t you think?”
“If I have a family.” He frowned. “I feel like I do.”
“If you’ve been missing, there has to be something on you.”
“You’d think so but, I’d be dead if it had been too long. I would have frozen to death out there. I don’t have frostbite, so it can’t have been too long.”
“That’s true.”
Kian continued to eat. She knew he was disappointed in not remembering anything. She’d feel the same way. It had to be so hard not knowing anything at all about yourself, except a name.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
“For what?”
“For you not knowing who you are. Other than your name. I wonder if I put your name in the search engine and Clifton, if anything would pop up.”
“We could try.”
Gretchen nodded. “We’ll do that tomorrow. I do need to redress your wounds, then we’ll get some sleep and tomorrow I can try to take a walk to where I can get service on my phone.”
“Alright. At least my head doesn’t hurt as bad. I still have a headache but it’s manageable.”
“That’s good, but keep taking the acetaminophen.”
After finishing their meal, Kian offered to help clean up, but she insisted he sit and just rest. She quickly cleaned up the few dishes and then walked into the bathroom to retrieve fresh gauze for his arm and head wounds. They had both stopped bleeding, but she wanted to make sure they stayed clean to avoid any possible infection. She knew they couldn’t make it to a hospital if that happened.
“Can you move to the sofa?” she asked when she saw him sitting in a chair.
“Sure.” He got up and moved to the sofa.
“It’ll be easier for me to wrap your head there.”
“Fine. I hate having to wear the gauze.”
“Too bad,” she replied.
“Not exactly a great bedside manner, Doc,” he teased with a smirk.
Gretchen chuckled. “Well, I’m all you’ve got right now.”
“That’s very true.”
Standing in front of him, she unwrapped the gauze on his shoulder.
“It looks good. No swelling or redness,” she remarked.
She dipped the cloth in the water and gently tended to his wound before rewrapping it. Once finished, she looked into his eyes and couldn’t look away.
“You’re a beautiful woman, Gretchen,” he murmured as he gazed into her eyes and then down at her lips before meeting her eyes again. “Your eyes are so beautiful. They’re the color of Granny Smith apples.”
“Thank you,” she whispered back.
“You’re welcome.” He leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips.
Her whole body reacted to his touch, but then she remembered that he could potentially have someone waiting for him at home. She pulled away.
“Kian...”
“No, don’t say anything. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“It’s okay. It’s just... we don’t know if you have someone waiting for you at home, and I can’t get involved with a man who might have someone else in his life waiting for him.”
He nodded in understanding. “I get it. I wish I knew for sure because if I’m not involved with anyone, I’d love to get to know you.”
“I’d like that too, Kian. But right now, other than your name, we know nothing about you.”
He sighed. “Okay, I understand.”
“Alright, you’re all set. The wounds look like they’re healing well, which is good. We’ll leave the sling off for a little while. You should try to use that arm, but don’t overdo it. Let me get you some acetaminophen for the pain.”
“Thank you,” he said, sincerity lacing his words.
“Sure,” she replied with a small smile, trying to keep her emotions in check. She entered the kitchen and leaned back against the counter, taking deep breaths to calm herself. It had been so long since she’d been kissed, and even though it had been brief, her pulse was still racing. “You cannot get involved with him. As long as he can’t remember anything, you just can’t do it.”
She turned to grab a glass of water and some pills from the bottle on the counter, then headed back to the living room. Standing in front of him, she handed him the glass and the pills. He took them with a drink of water before setting the glass on the end table.
“I think I hear ice hitting the windows. Just what we need, more bad weather,” she said, walking to the door and flipping on the porch light. She opened the door and shook her head as she saw sleet in the beam of the porchlight. “It’s sleeting. I hope it’s better tomorrow.”
Quickly closing the door, she walked back toward the living room and added a few logs to the fire.
“I agree. I guess it’s a good idea to keep the fire going,” Kian remarked.
“Power has gone out before. I’ll bring in some more logs.” Gretchen got up to retrieve more logs when Kian stood up too.
“I can do it. Stay inside,” he insisted.
“You don’t even have a coat.”
“It’s fine. I can carry more than you. Just take a seat.” Without waiting for her response, he picked up the log bag, and walked out the door.
Thinking of something, Gretchen headed toward the spare bedroom and opened the closet door, pulling out a large chest that belonged to her late uncle. She rummaged through it trying to find something that might fit Kian. Upon hearing him enter the cabin, she called out to him.
“I’m in the spare bedroom. Could you come in here, please?” she asked.
“Yes, ma’am. Just let me put the logs in the bin.” A few minutes later, he appeared in the doorway. “What do you have there?”
“It belonged to my uncle. I completely forgot about it. It might have some clothes in it that you could use.”
“That would be great.”
“Let’s see what’s in here.” She lifted the lid and smiled when she saw neatly folded clothes inside. She handed them to Kian and watched him set them on the bed. “Ah ha!” She pulled out a leather aviator jacket and held it up. “It’s my uncle’s old aviator jacket. Here, let me help you try it on.” She slid the right sleeve up his arm, then he put his left arm in. The sleeves were a little short, but other than that, the jacket fit him well. He zipped it up and grinned at her.
“It fits well enough.”
“Then the T-shirts and flannel shirts should fit too.” She dug through the chest and found some more clothing options for Kian. “Good thing I remembered this. Now you have some warm clothes.”
Kian’s grin widened as he replied, “Good. Any sweatpants?”
“Let me look.” Gretchen got on her knees in front of the chest, moved everything aside and dug down into it, finally pulling out a few pair of sweatpants in different colors. She mentally groaned when she saw the gray pair. Men in gray sweatpants. She sighed, then pulled out two more pair, one red, and one black.
“If the weather isn’t too bad tomorrow, I’d also like you to take me to where you found me. Maybe something will come back to me,” Kian said thoughtfully.
“That’s a good idea, but you will not overdo it.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied with a smile.
“And if at all possible, we’ll head to where I can get service.”
She helped him removed the jacket and placed it on the bed.
“Okay. I’ll just leave everything here.”
“That’s fine.” Gretchen blushed slightly as they made eye contact before she looked away.
As the night went on and the sleet continued outside, Gretchen couldn’t help but feel a sense of warmth and comfort with Kian in the cabin. And yet, in the back of her mind, she knew that there were still many unanswered questions and uncertainties about him, and she couldn’t let herself forget that.
****
The following morning after breakfast, Kian sat on the sofa watching TV while Gretchen sat in the chair.
“Do you have a computer?”
“No. I used to but since there’s no wi-fi, there was no sense in it. I’m sorry. I’m very secluded, but I can use my phone for a search on you.”
“Why isn’t someone looking for me?”
“Well, like you said, you can’t have been missing long. There’s not any frostbite. You couldn’t have been there long at all. Lobo must have found you right after you were dumped beside the tree. Of course, there was no wind, and that makes frostbite occur quicker. Whoever put you there expected you to die. They took your coat, phone, and any ID you had. You couldn’t have been out there very long.” She shrugged.
“I suppose that’s a good enough reason, but why was I out there to begin with?”
“Now, that I don’t know.”
“It has to do with those men I saw.”
“I’m sure it does.”
He shook his head. “I want to know what I was doing following them.”
“You will.”
“I suppose. I want to know who I am and why I’m here. I didn’t just show up in the woods for no damn reason.”
“You have no idea what type of work you do?”
“None.”
She stood, and walked to the window and looked out to see the sun was shining and it wasn’t snowing. She turned to look at him.
“If you want to try to walk to where we found you, go put some warm clothes on and I’ll do the same.”
“Alright.” He got up and walked to the spare bedroom and closed the door. He removed the sweatpants, pulled on his boxer briefs, then his jeans. His arm was still a little sore, but it seemed to be healing. He picked up the jacket, opened the door, and walked back to the living room.
“Could you help me with the flannel shirt? Anytime I move my right arm, it hurts.”
“Of course, it hurts. You were shot. Sit down and I’ll help you.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He sat on the sofa.
She slowly slid the right sleeve up his arm, then around his back and he put his left arm in the other sleeve. He was sweating bullets by the time they got done.
“I’ll put the sling on when we get back. You have to try to use that arm or it will get stiff.”
After she finished helping him, she walked to where his boots sat on the hearth, then set them in front of him.
“Do you need help with those?”
“I don’t think so. I can use my left hand.” He grinned. “I’ve done it before.”
He picked up his boots and stared at them.
“Just let me know.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Please call me Gretchen. Ma’am makes me feel old.”
“It’s a habit,” he said then frowned. “I know that’s true.”
She smiled at him. “That’s good, though.” She shook her head. “Your jeans are going to get soaked again, but at least you have something to change into, but your boots will get wet again too.”
“I’ll just set them next to the fireplace again. I won’t be going anywhere for a while.”
“Alright. Let me grab my rifle, then we can go.” She unlocked the gun cabinet, removed the rifle then nodded at him.
When they stepped onto the porch, Kian heard Gretchen gasp at the cold and shook his head.
“Damn, I’m glad you found me. I would have died from exposure.”
“That’s why I don’t think you were out there long at all.”
“I couldn’t have been.” He stuck his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “Let’s go and get back before my ba—something freezes.”
Gretchen snorted out a laugh. “Okay.” She looked at Lobo. “Come on, boy. Let’s show Kian where we found him.”
****
As Killian tried to focus on his work at his desk, he couldn’t shake off the worry for his brother. Kian should have contacted him, and Killian hadn’t heard from him since the day he called and told him he saw two men poaching wolves for their pelts. That was days ago. Dave interrupted his thoughts with a question about their mutual concern.
“Anything?” Dave asked.
“No,” Killian replied with a heavy sigh. “This isn’t like him, Dave. Something is wrong.”
“I agree. Something doesn’t sit right.”
“I feel the same. I’m really worried. I can’t even track his phone. I should have tracked it right away. Right after he sent me that text and didn’t answer me, but I just thought he didn’t want to use it since he thought he stumbled across poachers. He said he had to call FWP, but they don’t have a record of him calling. Damn it,” Killian muttered.
“With all this snow, it’s going to be tough to physically search for him outside.”
“The only way the tracker app on his phone won’t work is if the phone is off, and I can’t see Kian turning it off. For any reason. We could check with his cellphone provider but we would probably have to get a warrant.”
“I think he’s in trouble. At first, I thought since he was on vacation, he was just into something. Like maybe he decided to look for a house, but it’s the not hearing from him that bothers me.” Killian shook his head. “He told me he’d contact me every so often and I haven’t heard a thing except that text.”
Dave nodded sympathetically. Killian knew Kian always kept his phone on because he knew how much it would worry him, and Killian kept his phone on for the same reason. They always stayed in touch. There was definitely something wrong, perhaps due to their twin connection, Killian could feel it in his gut that Kian was in trouble.
“Any updates?” Beau asked as he approached Killian’s desk.
“No, nothing yet.” Killian shook his head with frustration, knowing that every agent in the office was concerned for his brother’s well-being.
“I have an idea. Let me make a phone call.” Beau walked back to his own desk.
Killian watched as Beau made a call on his cellphone before returning to him with a hopeful expression.
“Warren Coleman said he could have Grady Henderson take you up in their helicopter to search for Kian.”
“That’s great.” Killian said, feeling a glimmer of hope for finding his brother. “When can we go?”
“As soon as you’re ready. Warren said the roads and helipad on his ranch are clear, so there won’t be any issues, but there is a storm moving in, so you need to go now.”
Killian looked at Dave for approval.
“Go. Keep us updated if you find anything,” Dave said with concern.
“Thanks, Dave.” Killian then turned to Beau. “Thank you for arranging this.”
“I just hope we find him soon,” Beau said with genuine concern.
With his coat and hat in hand, Killian left the office and made his way to his truck. As he started the engine, he couldn’t help but say, “Where are you, Kian?”
The screen on his dash lit up with a call from his fiancée, Celine Nelson.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he said.
“Any news?”
Killian huffed. “No, but I’m heading to the Coleman ranch. Grady is going to take me up in the helicopter and we’ll head to where Kian called from last.”
“Okay. Keep me posted. I’m sure you’re worried, baby, but you’ll find him.”
“I hope so. I’ll call you after I get back. I love you.”
“I love you too.” She disconnected.
Killian had hated telling his parents that Kian was missing, but he couldn’t keep something like that from them. He knew they were worried and if something happened to Kian, they, along with him, would be devastated.
Driving toward the Coleman ranch, he was relieved to see that the roads had been plowed. But with more snow predicted, he wondered how they would ever spot his brother from the air. Unless he was out in the middle of the snow-covered landscape, they’d never find him in the forests.
An hour later, Grady skillfully maneuvered the helicopter over mountains and through valleys, but they saw no sign of Kian.
Killian kept a close eye on the snowy landscape below, hoping for any indication of his brother’s whereabouts. He noticed Grady doing the same.
“This is like searching for a needle in a haystack,” Killian remarked. “With all this snow, it’s nearly impossible to spot anything in the woods.”
“Yeah, there’s just too much snow on the trees to be able to see through them to the ground. Even if there were tracks or clues anywhere, we’d never see them. I was hoping he would be out in the open, but with all the snow, it’s hard to tell where he is,” Grady replied with a sigh. “I can only imagine what you’re going through, Killian.”
“My brother never goes this long without at least texting me back.” Killian swallowed hard at the thought of Kian being in danger, or worse.
“Did he mention where he was when he last texted you?” Grady asked sympathetically.
“No, he just said he thought he found men who were killing wolves for their pelts. I sent a text asking for specifics, but I never got a response. Dave gave him the coordinates where snowboarders said they saw a horse where there shouldn’t be any. I have a feeling Kian got bored and decided to check that out.” Killian’s voice cracked with emotion. “He was on vacation but took some work with him to get ahead of the game. It seems like he might have stumbled onto something.”
“Damn. I really hope we find him soon.”
“Me too.”
“Did you try tracking his cellphone?”
Killian sighed. “Yeah, I have a tracker app on my phone for him, and he has one for me, but nothing is showing up. The phone must be off.”
“Why would he turn it off?” Grady asked.
Killian looked at him and shook his head. “He wouldn’t.”
A call came through their headphones, telling them a snowstorm was moving in fast, and they needed to return.
“I’m sorry, Killian but we have to go back.”
“It’s alright, Grady. It’s not your fault.”
“Let me make one more go. Since we haven’t headed toward the mountains, we’ll swing by there on the way back and over the trees toward the road.”
“I appreciate that, Grady.”
“It’s no problem.”
They flew over Gatlin Road, but there was nothing.
“I don’t even see his truck.”
“Let me swing back over the woods.”
As the chopper flew over the forest, Killian sat up.
“Is that smoke?” He pointed toward a dense section of the forest.
“Sure looks like. I don’t know where smoke would be coming from, but we’ll check it out.”
Killian anxiously watched as Grady flew closer to the smoke rising from the woods. He prayed it was Kian with a fire going to signal for help.
“Is that a cabin?” Grady muttered.
Killian sat up, leaned over toward Grady to look out his side of the chopper.
“Yes, with smoke coming from the chimney. Any idea who it belongs to?”
“I don’t have a clue, but we can look up the coordinates and see if we can find out who lives there.” Grady circled over it. “There’s no place to land.”
“Can you set it down back by the edge of the woods? I’ll walk in if I have to.”
Grady shook his head. “There’s no place to set her down. I would if I could. I didn’t think there would be this much snow out here. I thought we’d find some place to land.”
“Grady, get back here. The storm is close,” a voice said over the radio.
“My boss,” Grady said then answered. “We might have found something, Warren. There’s a cabin deep in the forest.”
“I’m sorry but it will have to wait until the storm clears. You’re going to get caught in it. Check the mountains,” Warren said.
Both Killian and Grady looked at the Glacier Mountains. Killian sighed.
“As much as I hate it, I agree with Warren That looks like a powerful storm. I’ll just have to pray that Kian is in that cabin, safe and warm.”
“Alright. Let’s head back, that storm is moving too fast. We’ll come back when we’re able.”
“I appreciate it, Grady.” Killian stared at the smoke and prayed it was his brother.