Chapter 6 – Ravyn
I lay in bed, my heart racing with anticipation as I thought about how the drastic turn my life had just taken. Was I ready for this? Would I be able to face the consequences of my actions? I'd made my choice, and now I had to grab the bull by the horns even though it could crush me in the process.
Snuggled up in the sheets, I thought deeply about my actions and how they would affect me—sooner or later. This situation with Lev had become even more complicated, and there was nothing much that I could do about it.
My heart beat for him, and my body craved his touch, all day, every day. It was like I wasn't the one in control of my feelings anymore. Tessa's warning about that man still lingered on the fringes of my mind, but I would always ignore it.
There may have been some exaggerations about the type of man that Lev Tarasov was, but beneath all of that, it was also possible that there existed some atom of truth. A quick Google search would help me confirm the allegations against him, but I was afraid of what I'd find.
What if it turned out that Lev was everything Tessa said he was? What if he was even worse? Would I be able to live with that? The look in his eyes when I’d asked what he did for a living the last time we met was alarming.
Although he appeared receptive, the unspoken limits he set was a silent warning to proceed with caution. My instincts picked up on the signal, so I decided to let it go. He was holding back on the truth, and his response about being a businessman was nothing but a shadow of the real stuff he was into.
As curious as I was that night, I knew it was a bad idea to push further. Lev Tarasov had a kind of darkness in him that was both frightening and attractive at the same time. There was something about him that never really added up, something evil.
The problem was, I never had been able to look beyond his attractiveness. I knew that he reeked of trouble; I could sense that he was dangerous, yet I was still drawn to the man.
I thought that if I gave in to my craving and had sex with him, things would go back to the way they were before I met him.
I was wrong.
Sleeping with him only awakened the wild part of me. It ignited a fire that I couldn't put out. Having sex with him did change something. It changed the way that I felt toward him but in the way that I had expected because now I couldn't seem to get him out of my mind.
I grew so attached to him since that night, and the more we hung out, the more difficult it was to control my emotions. No man had ever made me feel this way, emotionally or sexually.
It was as if Lev had me entranced. I felt like I was spellbound to him, like I was freaking addicted to the man. I could swear that he felt the same about me, too, because why else would he reach out to me several times since that night? And why wasn't I able to decline any of his invites to hang out with me?
The feeling of attraction was mutual, and everything was just happening so fast. The situation had now sprawled out of control, and neither I nor him had power over what was happening.
I was watching my life take a dangerous turn, and it was as though there was little or nothing that I could do about it.
How long would I keep this hushed? How long until the truth got out?
Lev was the least of my problems right now; I had a more pressing concern: my family. Knowing how powerful and influential my dad was, it was only a matter of time until he found out about me and Lev.
My fear about Dad finding out the truth about us was nothing compared to how I dreaded him finding out the truth about what I recently discovered.
This was a huge mess, and there was no scenario in my head where it ended well—at least not without a fight, if I got lucky.
My mind was flooded with a myriad of thoughts as I tried to figure a way out of this. But no matter how much thought I put into it, I couldn't seem to find a solution that wouldn't end up in a scandal.
I'd done the math. I'd run the numbers and predicted the possible outcomes of this dire situation. None was in my favor. In every possibility, I'd end up getting hurt really badly.
There was no escaping this impending scandal, and the thought of having to face it sooner or later made my heart sink into my stomach.
Laying on my back, I pressed a pillow against my face, groaning in frustration. I slammed against the mattress, my hand bouncing off the foam. In my head, all I wished for was that the ground would just open up and swallow me.
If I had only listened to my voice of reason and stayed away from Lev, I wouldn't be in this mess. However, I wasn't exactly in control of my emotions at the time. Even now, I still wasn't. My body still wanted and craved him despite my reservations and the life-changing discovery that I'd made.
I snapped out of my thoughts at the sound of my door bursting open. My eyes widened, a momentary anger flashing across my face at the intrusion. As I sat on my bed, Dad stormed into my room, his face a mask of fury.
His eyes blazed with anger, and his lips pursed into a thin line. Deep creases formed between his brows as he glared at me.
My breath lodged in my throat, my heart pounding like a drum in my chest as I looked at him. As he drew closer, the pit in my belly widened, swallowing up all of my emotions and leaving me with nothing but fear.
Dad halted in front of me, his face contorted in fury, his jaw clenched.
He knew.
I was certain that he had found out, considering his reaction. Dad always had his ears on the ground when it came to matters that would jeopardize his “good name” and his pristine reputation.
“I'm gonna ask you a question, Ravyn,” he stated, his voice flat. “And you better think twice before you answer.”
I knew this conversation was inevitable, but I just didn't think that we'd be having it now. I looked up at his face, red with anger, and swallowed hard against the sudden dryness in my throat.
“Is it true?” he asked, narrowing his eyes, arms folded across his chest.
“Is what true?” I managed to ask, my voice barely above a whisper. I could hear the sound of my own heart beating, my chest heaving as I blinked rapidly in an attempt to remain composed.
“Don't play games with me, girl,” he warned, his tone urgent and menacing. “Have you been hanging out with Lev Tarasov?” Dad demanded, his voice laced with disdain.
His question stole my breath away, amplifying my fear and concern. I stared at him, lips quivering as I struggled to find my voice.
The scowl on his face deepened as though my silence only infuriated him the more. “Do you have any idea who that man is?” he raged, his chest rising and falling, disappointment etched on his face. “He’s part of the Russian crime syndicate—a fucking Bratva member!” he blurted out, eyes burning with anger.
I'd known from day one that Lev was trouble, but hearing Dad reveal his identity with so much hatred, disappointment, and disdain twisted my stomach.
“I don't know what you have going on with him, and it ends now!” he commanded, his voice laced with finality.
“What?” I snarled in objection, my brows furrowing to accentuate my displeasure at his tone.
He ignored me and continued, “I cannot—I will not—have you bring shame and disgrace to this family!”
“I'm not a child anymore!” I snapped, my voice rising higher than his as I sprang to my feet.
He was silent for a moment, squinting. His head tilted slightly to the side, shock flickering in his gaze. He obviously wasn't expecting my reaction, but I was done pretending to be a nice, perfect daughter.
“That's all you're ever worried about, isn't it?” I scoffed, tightening my jaw. “The family name, the reputation you've built—you want me to be this ‘perfect’ daughter that you flaunt around without actually considering my own feelings.” The words tumbled out of me in a frantic rush, my voice breaking as I expressed my anger and disappointment. “You don't see me as an adult who's capable of making her own decisions, and that's why you treat me like a child.”
He paused for a moment, watching me seethe in silence. “If you want to be treated like an adult, start acting like one,” he said through gritted teeth, drawing closer to me. “You will end whatever madness is going on between you and that monster before you tarnish the family's image.”
My chest heaved slowly as I cast a glare at him, my blood boiling with rage at the coldness and finality of his tone. Dad left no room for arguments, his eyes blazing as if daring me to go against his orders.
I clenched my jaw, lips quivering in response to the pang of irritation swelling within me.
He leaned forward, his breath against my face. “Don't test my patience, girl,” he said, his tone a chilly whisper. “Do as you're told.” Dad eyed me and walked away, his footsteps retreating.
He left my room and slammed the door shut behind him. I let out a frustrated groan, anger coursing through my body as I paced back and forth, seething silently.
I pressed my fingers into my temples in a massaging motion as I strolled into the bathroom. Maybe if I washed my face, this feeling of anger would dissipate quicker.
I had a bigger problem than this, and I needed to be clear-headed in order to address it. As I turned on the tap and rinsed my face in the sink, my eyes darted to the pregnancy test strip on the countertop.
Those two glaring lines had changed everything. The double marking on the strip indicated that I was with child, and that was the reason for my frustration all morning.
I'd been feeling a little funny since the last time Lev and I had sex, but I had thought it was nothing serious until I missed my period. It was then that I recalled we hadn’t used protection that night, and I wasn't on any birth control pills at the time.
In order to be sure that I was truly pregnant, I decided to buy the strip last night. Very early this morning, I'd tested my urine, and those two lines appeared, striking me with fear and confusion.
I straightened, watching my reflection in the mirror as I dabbed my face with a white towel. Dad already hated the idea that I was seeing Lev Tarasov. He thought it would ruin the family image, but he had no clue how bad things were about to get.
My heart pounded hard, threatening to jump out of my chest. It was difficult to breathe, and I felt like I was suffocating. I was done with all this pretense; it was killing me, and I needed a way out of my predicament.
I was plagued with confusion, unsure of what to do with this sudden pregnancy. The situation was a delicate one, and if I was going to scale through unscathed, then I needed to be smart in my thinking.
First things first, I needed to see Lev. We had so much to discuss, and he had a lot of explaining to do. I needed to know who the man who got me pregnant truly was.
I heaved a sigh, making up my mind to pay him a surprise visit.