Chapter Nine
Bastian woke me thenext morning with a tray of food. “You need to eat more. You’re still too thin.”
I pushed snarled hair out of my face and blinked blearily at him. “What time is it?”
“Late morning. You slept a long time, and it was beginning to concern me. Are you always so lazy?”
His shitty words barely registered past the exhaustion still weighing on me. “I guess being held captive in the back of a cart for days took more out of me than I thought.” I spoke the words under my breath, more to myself than to him.
“Did they feed you while they had you?” He plopped the tray onto the bed beside me.
I curled up into a seated position, keeping the blankets covering me. “Barely.”
“So you were shackled in the back of a cart for days with barely no food or water?”
“Yes.”
Bastian grimaced. “It’s not surprising you need a couple days to recover.”
“I guess not.”
He pointed at the tray of food. “Eat this and then I want to check your wounds. I also found you some more appropriate clothes.”
“All right. My breasts making you uncomfortable?” I almost slapped a hand over my mouth as Sky’s voice came out of me. It was something he’d say.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sure you have experienced the kindred bond is incredibly strong in the beginning. So yes. Your breasts make me uncomfortable. And having them on display seems to make you uncomfortable.”
“It does. We don’t dress like this back home.” I ducked my head and plucked at the blanket.
“A shame, really.” Bastian’s voice came out husky and low, wrapping around me like satin sheets.
My head jerked up as I fought off a shiver. “I thought you wanted me in different clothes?”
Bastian cursed under his breath, his eyes darkening to black pools of anger. “My apologies. I’m torn.”
I focused on the food to break up the tension weaving around us. “The kindred bond likes it, but your own brain prefers me covered so I’m not tempting you?”
A battle raged inside of him, one I understood all too well. “Yes. Which I realize isn’t your problem and I wouldn’t have said anything if you hadn’t kept your cloak clutched to your chest the entire day like you were terrified it would slip open.”
“I saw what the other women were wearing last night. Most of it was worse. Where did you find different clothing?” I stirred the bowl of porridge, wishing for a bit more flavor, but it was hearty and filling and I’d certainly lived on worse before Whist.
“Kira had something I think will work. It’ll still be tight, but you should be more comfortable.”
“Excellent.” It would definitely be tight on me. And long. She was tall and slender and a completely different body shape from my curvier frame.
“Are you finished?” He frowned at all the food still on the tray.
“Yes. I can’t eat anymore.” I hadn’t realized I’d stopped eating. But my shrunken stomach couldn’t take another bite and it wasn’t tasty enough to tempt me to force more down my throat.
He sat on the edge of the bed. “Let me see your hands.”
I held them out, watching as he unwrapped the bandages, surprised at how much better my fingers looked. I was still missing a couple fingernails, but they no longer bled and oozed and stung with pain. Whatever cream he’d put on me was a miracle worker.
“No sign of infection. I want to keep them wrapped for another day though. After a bath I’ll re-wrap them.”’
“What’s in that cream of yours?”
He removed the bandages from my wrists next, his touch gentle. “A few different oils and herbs. I’ll send some along with you when you leave. With enemies like the king, I’ll be willing to wager it’ll come in handy for you.”
I snorted. “You have no idea.”
“Why don’t you tell me about it?” He jerked the blankets off my legs to check my ankles next.
I narrowed my eyes on his bowed head, ignoring the desire coiling through me. “Still trying to learn my secrets?”
“Just curious about the type of woman fate chose to match me with.” He tossed the bloody bandages into a basket by the bed.
My eyes narrowed. “You aren’t interested in accepted the bond. Why does it matter?”
“Intellectual curiosity.”
“You seem to be curious about a lot of things.”
“I like to understand things.” He moved the tray of food from the bed to the small nightstand.
“Understand them? Like pick them apart and then feel like you’re in some sort of control?”
He reeled back and sucked in a sharp breath.
I frowned in concern. “Are you all right? I didn’t mean to offend you.”
He shook himself. “No. It’s just... you aren’t the first person to accuse me of exactly that.”
“Then it’s probably true.” I slid my legs back beneath the covers, wincing as the fabric rubbed against my wounds.
Bastian stared into the fireplace, lost in the past. “It definitely is. My wife used to say things like that all the time.”
My chest squeezed. “I’m sorry.”
“I guess I got my answer in a way.”
“I remind you of your wife?” I wasn’t sure whether it was a good thing or a bad thing.
“Actually no. Not in the slightest. Just what you said.”
“What was she like? If you don’t mind talking about it.” I didn’t want this pensive and informative Bastian to disappear and return to the cold and asshole Bastian.
“She was a bit of a jerk, actually. She refused to take shit from anyone. Especially me. She was a member of the Assembly as head of the military. Honestly, she terrified the hell out of me for a long time.” His entire face softened, and his eyes blurred with love and memories.
“She sounds amazing. And like a friend of mine.” She sounded exactly like Elora, one of Indigo’s kindreds. Someone I hoped would be coming along with the princess to help me get out of this.
“She would have liked you.” The words seemed to be forced out of him.
“Why do you say that? It sounds like we’re nothing alike. I’m no fierce warrior.”
He stared at his hands clenched on his knees. “No. You use different weapons. But you’re also clearly brave and determined to stand up for what you believe is right. She would have respected the hell out of that.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance to meet her.” She sounded like she would have made an excellent friend.
“She would have wanted me to claim you.”
My eyes widened and mouth gaped. “What?”
“She would have wanted you to join our family.”
Why would she have wanted that? “She wouldn’t have been jealous or worried our bond would overtake what you had with her?”
Bastian shook his head. “No. She wasn’t like that. She knew how much I loved her, but she always said if either of us found our kindred and we both liked them, she wanted them to join us. She didn’t want either one of us to ever feel torn.”
I could almost imagine the life we would have led, and it wasn’t a horrible fantasy. Whist, Saber, Sky, and Aster had changed so much for me. They’d given me the desire for a happy, peaceful life instead of the constant rage against the system. Their plans for the king had given me hope I’d actually be able to have it without giving up an essential part of me.
“She sounds amazing.”
“She was.”
“I understand why you don’t want to move on from her.” I couldn’t imagine moving on from my kindreds and we’d barely been together a couple months.
He cleared his throat and rose from his seat on the bed. “Go get cleaned up and I’ll re-bandage you.”
I nodded and crawled from the bed, shivering as the cold air nipped at me after leaving the warmth of the covers. I blushed as Bastian stared at my bare legs. I’d taken off the pants before going to bed, the tight fabric making it too difficult to find a comfortable position.
He spun on his heel and disappeared into his office. I shrugged and my bare feet padded across the stone floor and I closed myself into the bathroom.
The hot water didn’t hurt my wounds this time, the cream did its job and took away the pain. I planned to tell Indigo about their healing skills and see if they could be used in negotiations as well. I took my time, swirling my fingers along the surface of the water, thinking about everything Bastian told me, thinking about my guys, curious over how they’d all get along.
If it was fate who was bringing these men into my life, at least it had good taste. Perhaps Bastian and I could be friends, allies. Depending on how things went with Indigo and the Dragon Assembly, if they chose to help us topple the king from his beloved throne, there was a chance we could remain in each others lives. I liked him and enjoyed his company. Maybe kindred bonds didn’t have to only be romantic. Maybe we got it wrong, and it was the reason so many bonds soured.
The beginnings of a new song trickled through my mind until it became a flow of lyrics and notes humming on my lips. I needed my ukulele. Or anything I could play to bring the song to life. Music was my addiction and if I went too long without it, I itched and ached and my mind became scrambled with scraps of songs.
My fingers and toes were wrinkled as old raisins, so I rose from the bath and dried off. I sucked in a breath as I remembered my scarlet cloak. Where was it? I left it soaking in the water. What did Bastian do with it? He better not have tossed it.
I looked around the bathroom for something to cover myself with, but Bastian had forgotten to give me whatever clothes he found. All I had was this tiny towel. I raised my chin. It wasn’t my problem if it made it difficult for him to see me mostly naked. He could control himself. My other kindreds had been able to, and they wanted the bond.
I wasn’t here to make Bastian’s life easier. He’d just have to deal with my partial nudity.
And so would I.