Chapter Seventeen
They left Whist andI alone and I buried myself in his arms. He held me tight, positioning us on the couch until I huddled in his lap.
“How long before Sky and Saber get here?” I needed them, missing them so much I ached.
He ran his hands through my hair, taking away some of the sting. “Depends on how far out they were. I’m hoping they’ll be here by morning at the latest.”
“I miss them.”
“They miss you too. They’ve been going crazy since you disappeared. We all have.” He dropped a kiss on the top of my head. “Ready to talk about Aster?”
“What about him?” I raised my head to frown at him.
“He was worried he ran you off.”
My heart skipped a beat. “What? Why?”
He settled me back against him. “Because you were gone right after you slept together and you hadn’t talked yet. He thought you regretted it and took off.”
“Even if I had regretted it, I wouldn’t have just left. Especially without the rest of you.” I traced circles on his chest, unable to stop touching him.
“I knew that. And so did Sky and Saber. But Aster didn’t know where he stood with you, so he had a hard time believing it.”
My heart broke a little and tears stung my eyes. “I wanted to tell him. I was going to tell him as soon as he returned.”
“I know, gorgeous. He knows now. I just want you to be prepared for him to be a little crazy when it comes to you for a bit.”
A soft smile curled my lips. “I can handle him.”
“I think you’re the only one who can.”
“You handle him just fine too.”
I grinned, thinking of the two of them together the night before.Whist snorted. “What are your thoughts on moving here?”
I gnawed on my lip. “Ever since I got here, I’ve imagined what it would be like living here, but there’s too much to still do and change in Faligrey.”
He twisted my hair around his finger. “True. But it wouldn’t be until things are sorted there. What else will there be to do if we succeed in getting the king off the throne and replacing him with Indigo? The changes you’ve fought for fo long will happen. Your mission will be over.”
A fantasy flashed through my mind—living here inside a beautiful mountain with five kindreds, teaching music, finally having the time to get to know my guys on a deeper level.
I shook it off. “We’re getting a little ahead of ourselves. Bastian doesn’t want the bond. We haven’t stolen the throne from the king. Hell, we haven’t even formally cemented our bonds yet.”
“It’s okay to think about your future.”
“Would you want to move here?”
“I don’t care where we live. As long as I’m with you, Sky, Saber, and Aster, I’m happy.”
I huffed. “That’s not a real answer.”
“It’s true. I’d want my mother to come along wherever we decide to live. But I’m happy if we all run away to one of our safe-houses or here in a mountain or back in Faligrey in the castle.”
“I’m not against the idea. Honestly, I’d prefer it to living in the palace. But I think Aster should be the one to choose. It’ll affect him the most. I mean, he’s a prince in Faligrey. Here, he’d be what?”
“The prince of Faligrey. Possibly an ambassador. The kindred to an Assembly member. Who knows? He’ll choose to do whatever is best for our country.”
“Then that’s what we should do.” That’s what it’s always been about for me. Making our country better, freer. For the people like my parents.
“Now tell me about Bastian. What’s he like?”
“He’s...I don’t know really. An asshole? He buries himself in books and work to forget the losses of his wife and child. I think he’s scared to open his heart again after living through that kind of pain. He’s stern but can be kind. Music fascinates him.”
“Would you be happy with him as your kindred?”
A sigh blew past my lips. “I don’t know him well enough yet to tell. I certainly won’t try to force or seduce or push him into it.”
“I know, gorgeous. We’ll see where the next few days take us.”
“He’s been avoiding me.”
“Probably because he wants you, but is trying hard not to.”
“Something I can relate to.”
“But if you are interested, you need to be open about it. Because if you keep fighting against it, he’ll never give in.”
“I know.” And I did. But I still didn’t know what I wanted. And if I opened myself up to it and he still denied me? I was experiencing just what I put them all through.
I deserved it. Now that I knew what it felt like, I wanted to beg their forgiveness. On the other hand, I knew what Bastian was going through. I remembered what it felt like to fear the connection and the possible pain, the confusion. How the bond pulled at me while my life and plans pulled me in the other direction.
When I thought about returning to Faligrey and never coming back for him, it sliced through me. We just needed more time ,and he needed to stop avoiding me so we could figure out what we truly felt, what we truly wanted.
I didn’t know what to do.
My worried thoughts floated away as Whist pressed his hot mouth into the crook of my shoulder, his tongue sweeping out to taste my skin.
I smiled and turned in his arms.