Chapter Nineteen
“What’s going on?” My voice broke up whatever was going on between my assassin and the dragon. Where was Whist?
“Nothing, doll. Absolutely nothing. Which is the fucking problem.” Sky shot Bastian one last scowl and stomped from the room, a slam of the door making me flinch.
Enough.
I’d had enough of whatever was going on with him. It was time for him to tell me what the hell it was. “Excuse me.” I skirted around Bastian, giving him a wide berth and avoiding his eyes.
Saber and Aster could deal with him. I’d handle Sky.
I yanked open the door to Sky and Saber’s room, scrambling to a halt at the sight of Sky seated in the chair with his head in his hands.
I walked over and knelt before him. “Sky, talk to me. Please. You’ve been acting strange since the dragon lands and it’s only gotten worse.”
He looked up at me with ravaged eyes. “I’m sorry, doll. It’s not you. It’s nothing you’ve done. Unfortunately, you’ve bonded with a bunch of assholes and I’m the worst one.”
“I already knew I was bonded to assholes. I’ve known from the beginning, remember?” I tried to tease a smile from him.
The ghost of a smile passed across his lips as he remembered our conversation from months ago when I first agreed to be with them.
I took his hands and squeezed them. “Please tell me what’s going on.”
He blew out a hard breath. “That dragon of yours is driving me crazy.”
I sat back on my heels, surprised and confused. “Bastian? Why?”
“Because he refuses to see what’s right in front of his face and it’s hurting you.” He dropped my hands and rose from the chair, pacing around the room.
I moved from my spot on the floor to stand in front of the chair, watching him. “I’m fine, Sky.”
“No you aren’t. And neither is he.” He groaned and rubbed the back of his neck. “I was a little bit upset when I found out you had a fifth kindred. One we didn’t know and wasn’t part of our team. Our family.”
He was? He never showed the slightest sign. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because it wasn’t my choice. It was yours and his. And because you weren’t sure you wanted it and he was sure he didn’t. So why bother upsetting you? But then, I got to know him and I watched you together and the idiot would make a perfect fit for all of us. Especially with you and Aster. Then he decided to come with us and I hoped he was getting his shit together, but instead, he’s still being a fool. Something happened between you two last night. Something that hurt you worse than before. You can’t even look at him and he looks guilty every time he glances at you.”
I stared down at my feet. “So, what? You were asking him what happened?”
Sky huffed.“Yes. And requesting he remove his head from his ass.”
I approached him and placed my hands on his chest. “Sky. I don’t need you to fix this for me. Or try to force him into the bond. He has to make the choice for himself, just like the rest of us did. And I know I was a choice for you too. If I hadn’t been okay with your relationship with Saber, would you have chosen me?”
“I don’t know. Deciding between you would have torn me apart back then. Now, I would choose you. I’d be disappointed and it would be hard, but I would choose you.”
My heart lodged in my throat at his words. I never thought he’d choose me. I never wanted him to have to. But knowing he would was a powerful thing.
I slid my hands down his chest until I could take his hands back into mine. “Which is what Bastian is trying to do between me and his wife and child. I want the bond. He intrigues me and I like everything I’ve discovered about him and I’m tired of questioning my kindred souls. It caused nothing but pain when I fought it with you three and then again with Aster. I also see the political pros to it. But I will never try to force a bond. He has to accept it on his own. Maybe he will and maybe he won’t. But if he doesn’t, that’s okay because I have you and the others and I don’t need another kindred. You each are more than enough on your own. You can’t protect me from pain.”
He threaded our fingers together. “He’s being an idiot. He wants you. He wants the bond. I can tell. He’s letting his guilt and too large brain get in the way of what he wants. Haven’t you seen the way he watches us? He wants to be a part of our family. He wants it so much it hurts to look at him. He shouldn’t resign himself to a life of loneliness. If his wife was so amazing, she wouldn’t have wanted that for him.”
“Is this about my pain or his?” My always entertaining kindred had never talked with me this way before, never shared or opened up this much.
“Both. That idiot dragon could have everything if he joined us. Friendship, camaraderie, love, pleasure, hell even power.”
“Do you... do you... are you interested in him for yourself as well?” I couldn’t understand why he more than the others was so adamant.
He chuckled. “No, doll. I don’t need anything more than what I have with you and Saber. I mean, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed if he wanted to join us and have a little fun. Maybe this is something you don’t understand because you’re the center and you didn’t grow up around kindreds.”
My brows knitted in confusion. “Understand what?”
“When there’s more than one connection in a kindred soul bond, there’s always a center. You. So you’re my kindred, Saber’s kindred, and so on.”
I nodded. Where was he going with this? “Yeah. I know that.”
“Right. But even though the rest of us aren’t kindreds with each other, there’s still a bond that forms once we find our kindred.”
“What kind of bond?” I asked.
“It’s hard to explain. But it just feels like family.”
“Like they’re your brothers?”
Sky’s face wrinkled in disgust. “No. Definitely not. That would make the things we do together a bit on the disturbing side. It’s more like familiarity and comfort and caring. Hell, I didn’t understand it myself until we met Bastian since I already had those relationships with the others. I assume it’s part of the magic to try to keep jealousy and fighting from happening.”
My lips pursed. “I noticed today how Darius has seemed to merge effortlessly with Indigo and her kindreds.”
“Right. It’s the bond at work. Again, something that can be ignored or fought, but it’s just as strong as the kindred bond. Just different.”
“Why didn’t any of you mention this before?”
He shrugged. “I guess we didn’t think about it. And before the dragon, it didn’t really affect us. We were all so close, it didn’t feel any different.”
“But if that’s the case, why have I seen so many multiples have problems of jealousy and possession?”
He smiled sadly. “Because we’re still human with free will as much as it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. You can let the bond help you with those issues or you can ignore the bond. Just like the ones between kindreds.”
My mind whirled with all the new information.
Sky squeezed my hands. “I’m sorry, doll. It doesn’t feel like he’s just rejecting you. It feels like he’s rejecting all of us.”
“But you didn’t get frustrated with me when I kept rejecting it.”
He smirked, some of his mischief returning. “I remember spanking that beautiful ass of yours until it was red out of frustration when you ran off.”
I flushed and chuckled. “Well, yes. But I meant before that. When I was still there, you were all patient and understanding.”
He released my hands to cup my face. “Because my bond with you is more important than mine with him. I treasure the one with you and I wasn’t going to do anything to screw it up. And I understood your reasons and your fear. Hell, I shared some of them until I realized you accepted my relationship with Saber. And honestly, for some reason his hesitance is more frustrating to me even though I understand his reasons too.”
I reached up to grasp his wrists. “You do know you can’t keep acting like this though, right?”
“I know. And I am sorry, doll. And I’ll apologize to the damn dragon.” He tilted my face and stared hard into my eyes. “But you need to understand I will fight with every trick and weapon I have, I will kill anyone I need to to take care of this family and keep it whole. I love every fucking one of you more than life itself and I will watch the whole world burn before I let anything happen to you. Any of you.”
I softened against him and wrapped my arms around his middle. “And we love you the same bloody way.”
His breath shuddered in his chest and he jerked me against him, burying his face in my hair, clutching me tight like I might float away if he let go. I ran hands through his hair, trying to soothe him. It seemed my light-hearted guy had the darkest corners.