9. CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 9
Rose
" W illow, hey, baby. It's Mama. I hope you're well. I wanted to call and see how you're doin'. This is my new number, and you can call me any time. Say hi to Mike for me, darlin'. Big hugs and lots of kisses. I love you, baby girl."
I put my phone down.
Of course, she didn’t pick up. She used to ignore my calls when she recognized my number—why would she answer now when it’s coming from an unknown one?
I breathed deeply when I pulled up Jude's contact information. He looked so much like Gray and, for some reason, had decided that I was the villain in his story. I didn't know when my sweet boy became the one who made fun of me, said that I wasn't college educated , insinuated I wasn't smart or clever, and that I was stupid. But he was my baby, and there was nothing he could do that would make me turn away from him. Gray was my husband, and I could walk away from him, but not my children. If they ever needed me, I'd be there come hell or high water.
"Jude Rutherford, here."
I almost hung up; I hadn't expected him to pick up. I was prepared to leave a message but not talk to him. I regrouped quickly. "Jude, it’s—"
"Mama?"
"How y'all doin', son?"
"What the fuck, Mama? You just left. You don't tell us where, and you just leave? What's wrong with you?"
I closed my eyes and took deep breaths.
"Jude, honey, don't talk to me like that. I'm your mother, not your friend, so you need to show me some respect, yeah?"
" Respect ? You just left all of us," he screamed.
I sighed. I was afraid of this. Gray would also react like this. I knew it. He'd blame me. He'd say it was my fault, that I was being selfish, leaving the way I had.
Enough was enough. I didn't have to put up with Gray's crap and not my kids', no matter how much I loved them. "Okay, baby, I have to go now. Take care of yourself, yeah?"
"Mama?"
"I just wanted to check in and say hello, but I'm not goin' to sit here and listen to you curse at me, or disrespect me. Jude Daniel Rutherford, you know better. I'm not callin' you again. But if you call, I will answer the phone and talk to you unless you shoot your mouth off as you just did."
I hung up and stared at the phone like it was going to burst into flames. I'd never done that before, told someone off so forcefully. But I was so tired of how he made me feel bad about myself. I didn't deserve it. He may be my child, but I didn't need to be his verbal punching bag.
I texted Gray instead of calling him because I really didn't want to talk to Aimee. When Leah had said that everyone thought Gray was sleeping with his assistant, I said I knew he wouldn't. But a part of me wondered. How could I not? It would crush me if my husband was cheating on our marriage vows.
Me: My darling Gray, this is my new number. I hope y'all are well. Leah will be in touch with you with the paperwork.
I pressed send and realized I didn't tell him who I was.
Me: This is Rose.
I set my phone down again and winced. I shouldn’t have called him My darling Gray . Jeez Louise, now that was dumb of me.
But I didn't have time for a nervous breakdown. I had four rooms to set up. Lilah's daughter wasn't feeling well, so I'd told her to stay home, which meant I was doing the housekeeping today.
I shrugged my melancholy off and got to work.
I cleaned, changed sheets, and placed a vase of fresh flowers in each room. I also distributed baskets filled with locally made bath product samples that I had arranged with vendors a couple of years ago during a visit to Malou. These samples, provided for free, were available in every room, offering a great opportunity for local artisans to showcase their products to tourists and our guests. It was a win-win situation.
I stood at the doorway and looked at the beautiful room I’d just set up.
Large windows opened to a view of the ocean on one side and the garden on the other. It was December, so the garden was bare but would be full of color come spring. I put a hand to my mouth as tears filled my eyes. Malou would not be here then. Every day with her was a gift—every day was a little extra God was giving us. I knew she was in pain, but she didn't want to go yet, and I knew it was because she worried about me.
I was losing the sister of my heart, and I wished Gray was here; my kids were with me to support me. But they hadn't for years while I'd been driving to and from Atlanta to be with Malou, so I knew I had to do this alone.
Malou was right. Alone was so much easier than lonely. I was lonely in my family; once Malou was gone, I'd be alone here, and I promised myself I'd be considerably happier.
This was my life now. I'd bake bread. Cook and clean. Make this B&B everything it could be. I'd live on a beautiful island and, who knew, maybe one day I'd fall in love again.
Yeah right!
I loved Gray. He was the only man for me. It was a nice fantasy to think I'd get over him and move on. I wouldn't. But I would not be lonely, and that soothed me. I would not go to sleep and wake up in a cold bed—no, I'd be in a warm one, warm of my making, because no one would be missing in it.