30. CHAPTER 30
CHAPTER 30
Gray
H iring an end-of-life nurse for Malou was a decision that brought both relief and a somber acknowledgment of the reality we were facing.
Thomas was a middle-aged man with a gentle demeanor who moved with practiced care. He arrived each morning just as the sun's first light touched Angel's Rest, greeting us with a respectful nod smile before settling into the routine of caring for Malou.
I watched from the doorway as he efficiently organized his supplies, his presence a comfort in the shifting sands of our daily lives. He was meticulous in his duties, managing medications and monitoring Malou's comfort levels with an expertise that spoke of years in palliative care. His manner with Malou was compassionate, his conversations with her were kind, taking the edge off the harshness of her reality.
Rose and I often sat with Malou throughout the day, keeping her company, sharing stories, or simply enjoying the peaceful silence that Thomas helped maintain.
It was my turn to sit in bed with her as Rose would. In a matter of days, Malou had become my friend as well.
"She'll do anything for you," Malou told me one night when I was with her. She was propped up on pillows, and I sat up next to her. I held her hand the way I'd seen Rose do. "She loves you."
"I know."
"Don't let her do anything for you unless you earn it."
I kissed Malou on her forehead, wishing that she would live and stay so I could have the chance to get to know her; to have her in my life, to learn from her. But Thomas had told us that she was fading away sooner than expected. He thought it wasn't a matter of weeks anymore but of days. My heart cracked.
"I'll do everything I can to deserve her," I promised.
"Good," she murmured. "You know, I don't think she ever told you this, but remember the time your mama thought she was having a heart attack at a garden party?"
I nodded. "Yeah."
"Now, don't take this the wrong way. But she'd been a bitch to Rose. I may have encouraged her to add an herbal supplement to her drink."
"What?" I couldn't believe my Rose would ever do something like that.
"It was perfectly safe; it would just increase her heartbeat for a short time," Malou continued. "Now, you're thinking Rose would never do something like that. She wouldn't not on her own. But I was always a bad influence. She felt guilty for days. She almost confessed to you. But I didn't let her. That woman deserved it. She told Rose she looked fat . For God's sake, our Rose, fat? She told her that you were interested in an ex of yours and would leave her. You were talking to that skanky ex at that party, and Rose was so hurt—not that you talked to the ex but that your mother was such a cunt."
I should be upset. Honestly, drugging my mother? But I burst out laughing, remembering how comical it had been at the party when Mama had started to scream about having a heart attack, and Holden muttered how she wouldn't be able to scream if that was true.
"Mama was fucked up in many ways," I told her, "and I let her hurt my wife. That's on me."
"We can't fix the past, Gray. Only the present and work hard for the future to be better."
Malou would have no future. My eyes filled with tears, and my heart with tremendous respect for this woman who, even as she was dying, wanted to make sure her friend would be taken care of after she passed.
"You have to become her Malou," she told me as she started to slip into sleep.
"I promise."
Thomas came back to Malou's room, and I nodded at him. "She dozed off."
"Yes. She's tired."
And her body is shutting down , I thought.
Thomas was capable, and as I watched him take care of Malou, I was in awe of the depth of his compassion and the subtle strength he brought. He was not just a caregiver; he was the guardian of the dignity that Malou deserved in her final days.
As evening approached and the golden hues of sunset bled into the sky, Thomas packed up his things.
He always took a moment to speak with Rose and me, offering updates and gentle assurances and answering our questions with patience and empathy.
Today was no different.
“She's comfortable,” he told us, his voice low and soothing. “And she's in good spirits, considering. It's good you're here with her; it means more than you might know.”
I nodded, feeling the weight of his words. “Thank you, Thomas,” I said, my voice thick with gratitude and the underlying grief of impending loss.
“Thank you for all that you do.” Rose hugged him.
The house felt quieter in Thomas's absence, the space around us heavy with the significance of the time we had left with Malou.
I glanced at Rose, her face etched with both love and sorrow as she looked toward Malou's room. Walking over, I took her hand, feeling the tremor of her touch. Together, we went back to sit by Malou, the silence around us not empty but full of unspoken words and shared heartbeats, each moment more precious than the last.
The last light of the year's final day was fading as Rose and I found ourselves standing by the newly reinforced retaining wall, looking out over the ocean.
The fresh air carried the scent of salt and the promise of a new year. Thomas was inside with Malou, and Rose had come to watch me finish the work on the wall.
"You look very sexy in all that construction gear," she mused.
"Yeah? I can wear it all day, every day, for you, babe." We hadn't had sex, but she let me touch her, and she even lay a hand on me on her own once in a while. It wasn't sexual, but it was intimate.
We weren't back, but I now knew we could be. If nothing else, I had more hope than I'd had when I first came to Angel Island.
I wish we had been able to talk as we did now while we were married, but twenty-twenty hindsight was always so much clearer than the present.
Rose's eyes were reflective as she watched the horizon, where the sky met the sea in a splash of twilight colors. "I want to stay here, Gray," she said suddenly, her voice firm yet filled with an undercurrent of vulnerability. "I want to have a life here, at the B I had seen her come alive here in ways I hadn’t witnessed in years.
I set the trowel I was using down and walked to her.
"Okay," I replied, my hand finding hers, our fingers intertwining naturally. "I'll stay with you."
She turned to look at me, surprise and unspoken questions in her eyes. I took a deep breath, ready to share what had been on my mind for the past few days.
"I've been thinking a lot about what matters, Rose. About how many days I've spent buried in work, missing out on truly living. I'm only forty-two, too young to retire, but maybe it's time for a change."
The waves crashed softly against the shore, providing a gentle backdrop to our conversation.
"What?" she gaped at me and then shook her head as if I were an apparition.
I kissed her softly on the mouth because fuck she let me, and each time she did, it was like Christmas morning.
"I'm considering stepping back from the day-to-day operations at the company, letting Justin go from acting to actual CEO and President," I continued. "I'll take on a role as a board member instead, handling only a few select projects. It would give me more free time, Rose. Time to be here, with you, to be part of this B no one can. But I can guarantee that I will never resent you. I want this ," I tried to assure her. "These days at Angel Island have shown me how much I've missed out on. I don't want to look back one day and realize I lost not just parts of my life but all of it to something as insignificant as a career."
"But you'll miss your life in Atlanta," she pointed out.
" Our life. We'll keep the house, babe, visit when we feel like it."
"But the B&B?"
"Babe, we have resources to hire help."
"You have resources, I have—"
"Don't," I warned her.
"What?"
I took her hand and dragged her into the house. "Gray," she protested.
I found my phone in the kitchen and called my lawyer. Rose tried to wrench her hand away from me, but I didn't let her. Instead, I sat down at the breakfast nook and settled her on my lap.
"Cahill," the voice of my lawyer Barry Cahill came through.
"Hey, Barry, it's Gray Rutherford. Sorry to disturb you on New Year's Eve."
"Nah, it's fine. I'm working anyway. All good with you?"
Rose settled, but she glared at me. I winked at her which infuriated her some more.
"I need a favor, and it's urgent."
"Shoot."
"You know the prenuptial agreement that Rose and I signed?"
"Yeah," he chuckled, "Your mama was…anyway, yeah, I remember."
"I want it annulled."
"What?" Barry's shock came all the way through the speaker from his fancy office in Atlanta. "Buddy, you sure? I heard that Rose left you, and you're…you know…plannin' to set up with that hot assistant of yours."
Rose snorted.
"Barry, I'm not bangin' and have never banged anyone but my wife since I met her over twenty years ago."
Barry was silent.
"I love her. And I want that prenup annulled."
"This isn't the time to—"
"Barry, I'm the fuckin' client, and I know what I'm sayin'. Annul the fuckin' prenup and email the paperwork I need to sign to me."
I heard Barry take a deep breath. "It's your money, Buddy. But if y'all split up without that prenup, she gets half of everything since you've been married for so long. That's the house, your inheritance, the business ."
"I know."
"What the fuck are you up to?" Barry was obviously flustered.
Rose gave me a look that said she was wondering the same thing.
"We've been married for twenty years, Barry. If we were to break up, she deserves half of fuckin' everything 'cause I wouldn’t have any of this without her. So, annul the fuckin' contract."
"Fine," Barry said softly, "You'll have an email, latest, by tomorrow. It'll come through DocuSign for your digital signature."
"Will Rose need to sign anything?"
"Nope. Your mama devised the most one-sided prenup I ever made in my professional life."
"Thanks, Barry, and Happy New Year."
I hung up and cuddled Rose. "So, we have the resources to hire help," I continued our earlier conversation like I hadn't just talked to my lawyer.
"You're insane," she rage whispered.
"I love you," I told her. "Fucking. Love. You ."
"So, what is it that you'll do here at Angel Island, Mr. Workaholic?"
"I'll make love to my wife every night if she'll let me. I'll help her cook and clean. I'll go for walks with her. During the day, I'll work on projects from here. By the way, we need to get a stronger Wi-Fi router. And I need to set up an office somewhere in this house." I kissed her mouth softly. "When I need to travel, I want my wife to come with me so we can enjoy time away from here. I want her to come with me to Atlanta once in a while when I have to go into the office and stay in the home she made for our family."
Tears started to roll down her cheeks.
"Babe?"
A small smile broke across her wet face, lighting up her features. "That sounds like a beautiful plan, Gray." She leaned her head against my shoulder and began to cry. But I knew she wasn't sad, just overwhelmed. I comforted her as she did me.