Chapter 19
CHAPTER 19
Deacon
Nathan’s plans turned out to be a bubble bath. I’d been longing for one earlier, but after everything that happened in the penthouse, I’d forgotten about it. That desire returned with a vengeance the moment I saw the huge, claw foot tub filled with steaming water and clouds of bubbles just waiting for me to hop in.
Nathan’s private apartment was a strange mix of simple and grand. The apartment held only as much as it needed.
A single bedroom.
A small office space.
A single couch.
A single table.
There was even a single set of dishes in the kitchen.
Yet, everything that the apartment did have was luxurious and opulent. Nathan didn’t have more than necessary, but he always chose the best option for the things he did need.
The bathroom was no exception. It was just large enough to have a separate tub and shower, but the small space was outfitted with enough white marble and gold to befit a king.
Sitting in that bathtub, I certainly felt like pampered royalty. I was engulfed in hot water and bubbles, with Nathan’s arms wrapped around me as he lounged in the bath behind me.
I traced my fingers over one of the tattoos on the back of his hand. He’d explained some of their meanings to me. Predatory animals represented enemies that had left a mark on him, while prey animals represented innocent people whose death he felt responsible for. Weapons represented conflicts that he’d overcome, while flowers were used to represent more abstract concepts he didn’t want to forget.
Whenever stars showed up on his skin, they always formed the specific pattern of a constellation. The one on the back of his hand was Cassiopeia, and I’d spotted Eridanus near his collarbone before.
There was still a lot I didn’t know about Nathan, such as the meaning behind these two constellations. In fact, there was a lot I didn’t know in general about life among the Mafia and how the criminal underworld operated.
“Hey, Nathan?”
He gave a non-committal noise of acknowledgement from behind me, limp and relaxed in the water.
“What’s going to happen to that agent?”
“Hmm?” He raised his head from where it had been leaning back against the rim of the tub.
“From Interpol. Agent Belden. What’s going to happen with her? I assume you want to cover up the fact that you and your brother killed her, but an Interpol agent can’t just disappear. People will notice. So, what’s the plan?”
Nathan let his head fall back against the rim of the tub and threaded his fingers between mine.
“Her body will be taken somewhere else and staged to look like the victim of a mugging, or something similar.”
“But won’t it look suspicious that she disappeared while investigating you? Even if her body is found somewhere else?”
“Yes, it would, if she were actually investigating me.”
Water sloshed around in the tub as I turned to face him, straddling his lap when my legs had nowhere else to go. “What do you mean?”
His hands found my thighs under the water and started stroking along my skin.
“Interpol is an international law enforcement agency. There was no reason for them to be investigating any of these recent incidents. Even the model who was killed at your first show. She turned out to be the FBI director’s niece, but that still isn’t an international affair.”
I leaned into him until our chests pressed flush together and my nose was buried against his neck.
“So, you’re saying Interpol wasn’t supposed to be involved.”
His hands dug a little harder into my flesh. “Interpol wasn’t there. Agent Belden was acting off the books to pursue her own agenda against me. Interpol isn’t going to want anyone to know that their agent was acting outside of sanctioned orders, so they’re going to sweep everything under the rug as quickly as possible. So long as we give them a convenient explanation for her death, they’re not going to look any further into it.”
I moaned as one of his hands slipped between my legs to grip my arousal, which had calmed down but not fully vanished since leaving the Bellagio. At the same time, his other hand slid around behind me, so his fingers just dipped into the crease of my ass, barely touching the rim of my hole.
The hard line of his body rubbed against me as I squirmed, sending water splashing over the edge of the tub. I bit the shell of his ear in retaliation, but it backfired. The spark of pain from my teeth only excited him, and I felt the heat of his own arousal brush against my stomach.
If he started moaning, I wouldn’t be able to control myself. As I’d already established, the sound of his voice was too much of a turn on. To silence him, I captured his mouth in a hungry kiss that would swallow any sound he made.
On instinct, I started grinding my hips, pushing myself harder against his touch. The hand that was wrapped around my cock sped up, and the hand on my ass grew bold enough to start rubbing deliberately around my rim.
Little jolts of pleasure danced along my nerves, and for once, I wasn’t nervous at all.
I sighed into the kiss, making my enjoyment known.
Without warning, Nathan suddenly stopped what he was doing and wrapped his arms around me, then stood from the tub. He brought me with him, keeping my legs locked around his waist to help support my weight as he stepped out of the tub and left the bathroom behind. I watched the puddles we left in our wake over Nathan’s shoulder. If I looked at the bed, I would probably get nervous again, and I wanted to stay relaxed.
Nathan said he had plans for me, but I had plans, too, and they didn’t involve letting my irrational anxiety get the best of me once again.
Nathan’s bed was just as luxurious as the rest of the apartment. It was one of the few things that was bigger than it needed to be, a California King, and was draped in blue-gray sheets. The fine silk clung to my damp skin when Nathan deposited me on the bed. They were cool to the touch, as silk always was, and I shivered until Nathan joined me. The heat of his body chased away even the memory of cold.
We tangled tightly together, kissing like we could only breathe air from the other person’s lungs. Nathan groped blindly with one hand through the nightstand drawer to pull out a bottle of lube, never once letting our mouths part.
The sound of the cap popping open brought me back to my senses.
“Wait.”
Nathan froze, the open bottle still held in one hand.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I just... I want to do something.” I held out my hand for the bottle. “Can I?”
Without hesitation, he placed the bottle in my hand.
“Whatever you want. I owe you after letting you get kidnapped tonight. Even if it was just my brother, you still shouldn’t have had to go through that.”
Holding the bottle, I nervously toyed with the cap. He sounded so certain, but would his offer remain when he realized what I wanted to do?
Only one way to find out.
“All right. Can you lie down? On your stomach? I want... I want to be in control.”
This time there was a moment of hesitation. Last time Nathan submitted himself to me, he’d still been in control, even going so far as to handcuff me to the headboard.
The moment passed, and Nathan seemed to come to a decision with himself. His movements were stiff but certain as he lay down on his stomach with his legs spread just a little.
Running a hand over his back and admiring the ripple of muscles I felt, I leaned in to bite his ear again.
“Thank you.”
His crossed arms acted like a pillow as he looked at me over his shoulder. “Don’t thank me. Asking for what you want in bed shouldn’t be treated like I’m making some great sacrifice for you. If I didn’t want to do it, I wouldn’t.”
He spread his legs wider, making enough room for me to kneel between. There were scars on his back, more so than on his front. The most prominent ones were the slashes over his shoulders, and a particularly gnarled spot where it looked like someone had tried to stab him in the kidney. The worst scars were old and had faded to a pale silver color. The few young, pink scars were small and seemed to be the result of superficial wounds, rather than anything life-threatening.
He had tattoos on his back as well, and when a scar distorted the artwork, it was left that way. There had been no effort to correct the tattoos or hide the scars. Although Nathan had never said so out loud, I was certain that he considered the combination of scars and tattoos like a storybook mapping out his life. Every accomplishment and failure was etched into his skin one way or another so they would never be forgotten.
Would I ever appear on his skin?
I took a moment to trace each scar and tattoo, committing them to memory as I made my way down his back. His ass was firm, with just as much muscle as the rest of his body, and I couldn’t resist the urge to sink my teeth into the top of the swell just below his left hip-dimple.
“Did you just bite me?” he asked over his shoulder, though he didn’t try to pull away.
My teeth left a slight mark but didn’t break the skin. “Problem?”
He laughed. It was an awkward, breathy sound that people made when they didn’t know what else to do. “No, just... no one’s ever dared to do that before.”
I bit him again, on the right side this time for the sake of symmetry. “You should know by now, I like the thrill of living on the edge.”
Having reached my destination, there was no more time to delay. “Squeezing out a generous amount of lube, I pressed one finger inside him.
I’d literally fucked this man before. Yet, somehow, gently fingering him open was a million times more intimate than sex. Every moan and every twitch were on full display. It made finding his sweet spots even easier. All I had to do was listen for the hitch in his breath and I knew I’d hit my target.
By the time I had three fingers inside him, he was growling low under his breath and practically tearing at the pillow beneath him.
“Are you just going to toy with me all day, or are you going to get on with it?”
Leaning forward so I stretched over his back, I pressed a kiss just behind his ear. “Patience. Let me have my fun.”
Although I said that, I was eager to continue as well. My throat had gone dry, and my belly trembled in anticipation.
Kneeling behind him, I gripped his hips, lined myself up, and slowly pressed inside.
Even with my preparation, he was tighter than he’d been before. I wasn’t sure if it was the different angle, or if he was nervous from being in such a submissive position, but his inner walls gripped me like a vice.
I gasped and my hands shook on his hips, but I didn’t stop. As soon as I was as deep as I could go inside him, I paused to regain some control over myself. I could already tell I wasn’t going to last long.
Thankfully, I managed not to embarrass myself by coming the moment I started moving. I slammed my hips against him, harder than I originally intended. Based on the sounds he was making, he didn’t mind.
I managed to last about a minute with him squeezing so tightly around me. Once I’d started, I couldn’t stop, and I chased my own pleasure like I was running full speed off the edge of a cliff.
Wrapping my arms around him, I pressed myself flush to his back and buried my face against his neck when I came. Every muscle in my body locked into place as white-hot ecstasy crashed through me in waves. The orgasm was short, but intense, and left me gasping for air when it faded.
Throughout it all, Nathan didn’t move. It was clear he hadn’t found his own end, but he remained relaxed and submitted to me, letting me take as much as I wanted from him.
“Thanks,” I whispered against his ear when I found my voice again. “That was great.”
I pulled out and moved to the side, so I was lying next to him.
His hand automatically landed on my hip, keeping me close as he rolled over to face me. “I wouldn’t do that for anyone else, you know. The few times I’ve let someone top me, I’ve never given up control like that.”
“I know.” I pressed a quick, sweet kiss to his lips. “That’s why... I think I can finally do this.”
I didn’t bother to say more, and let my actions speak for themselves. Laying flat on my back with my hands up by my shoulders, I raised my knees and let my legs fall open in an obvious suggestion.
“Really?” He sounded eager, but he was still gentle as he slowly positioned himself between my legs. “You’re certain you’re ready?”
Biting my lip to keep any nervous words at bay, I nodded. “Yes. I’ve trusted you with literally everything else. My life. My health. My career. My friends. There’s no reason I can’t trust you with this as well.”
As his weight settled against me, I trembled. I tried to tell myself that it was from anticipation, but I was lying. Anticipation certainly existed, I was definitely eager, but my gut also twisted in an unpleasant way. Previous experiences with past lovers flashed behind my eyes, and I kept my gaze locked on Nathan.
I knew this man. I trusted him. So long as I kept reminding myself who was currently pushing my knees even farther apart, I would be fine.
When his slicked fingers probed at my ass, I buried both my hands under the pillow behind my head to keep them still. I even clenched my toes in the sheets to make sure I didn’t accidentally kick him.
This was fine.
We’d done this before.
The feel of his fingers sliding inside me was familiar, and it took little effort for me to relax and enjoy his attention.
However, the preparation process only lasted so long, even with Nathan taking his time. Soon enough, my body was ready for him, and I could feel the hot press of his cock against my ass.
“Ready?” Nathan asked me. He was visibly trembling with the effort of holding back.
It should have been intimidating, knowing how dangerous Nathan could be and how close he was to snapping. Yet, I was also completely certain that he wouldn’t move forward until I gave the okay. If I told him “No” right now he would stop without a word of complaint.
That certainty gave me the courage to take a deep breath and finally say what I’d never been able to say to any other partner before.
“Do it. I want you.”
After experiencing the slide of his fingers inside me, I expected his cock to feel similar. It was the same act, after all, just with something slightly larger.
I was wrong.
The moment the head of his cock forced its way passed the rim of my hole, I was overcome with an electric sensation running up and down my body. It reached from my toes all the way to the crown of my head. I felt so many different sensations at once, I couldn’t even tell if it counted as pleasure or not.
It was all just so much.
“Please. Na— ah! Nathan. I don’t... Fuck!”
His cock slid in deeper, slowly, inch by inch. I gasped and squirmed as I was claimed properly for the first time. Nathan held me the whole time, arms wrapped tight around me, so I was surrounded by him in all directions. I clung to him, my nails digging into his back as I trembled and panted.
Finally, he was fully buried inside me, and I swore I could feel him all the way in my stomach. For a moment, I worried that he would pause just like I had. If he stopped in that moment, it would only give my brain time to think, and I feared I would panic.
Maybe I babbled my fears out loud, or maybe he was just that in tune with me, but Nathan didn’t hesitate. He immediately pulled back to slowly slide out. Then, when only the head of his shaft remained inside, he thrust in faster than before, starting a strong rhythmic pace. His thrusts sped up gradually, giving me time to adjust, until he was properly fucking me.
My whole body jolted each time he slammed back inside, forcing the air out of my lungs and causing me to make a bunch of embarrassing little sounds. On one particularly deep thrust, he hit a spot inside me that made my whole vision go white and a long moan tumbled from my throat. I knew that spot was there. Nathan had toyed with it before. Yet, having it struck in such a way while being stretched open to my limit at the same time was so much more intense.
It was like we were made to fit together. Each time his cock plunged inside me, it hit all of my best spots at the same time, and when it pulled out it tugged at my rim in a way that made me want more.
Although I’d just come a few minutes ago, I was filled with such ecstasy that my own cock was standing hard once again. I was lost to a haze of sensation, and I had no idea how long Nathan kept at it, rewriting me from the inside until I was certain that I would never fit anyone else but him.
I regained some sense of myself when Nathan’s pace changed. He sped up and pushed even deeper. I couldn’t speak. Couldn’t even moan. Tears dripped from my eyes, but I didn’t bother brushing them away. My hands were too busy tangling in his hair.
“Come on. Take me. Let me feel it.”
He sped up even faster and I pulled him into a kiss. We moaned against each other’s mouths as we came at the same time.
Heat flooded me inside and out, and I clung to Nathan until my fingers went numb. He was also breathing heavily. His chest heaved against mine and his breath fluttered against my skin. The pleasure of climax slowly drifted away, leaving us lethargic and practically melted together.
“Fuck,” I groaned. “That was... Why haven’t we done that sooner?”
Nathan held me tighter, still trembling with the aftershock of our shared pleasure. “You weren’t ready yet.”
“I know,” I sighed, before pressing a few kisses down his chest, right over the ink that decorated his skin. “Well, now that I know how good it can be, you better be prepared. I’m going to want you to fuck me all the time.”
With a groan, Nathan sat up enough to look down at me properly. “I’ve never had someone threaten me with sex. Today is certainly a day of firsts.”
Scowling up at him, I poked him just under his rib cage, hoping to see him squirm. “I mean it. You had better be prepared. I can get very obsessive when I desire something.”
He silenced me with another kiss, but it only lasted a moment before his lips traveled to my ear. “So long as the thing you desire is me, then feel free to obsess as much as you want.” He spoke directly into my ear in that way he knew turned me on. I shivered, and if I wasn’t already so exhausted, I would have gotten hard again.
Eventually, Nathan carefully extracted himself from me and rolled off to the side, so he no longer hovered over me. I felt cold and strangely empty when he was gone, and I held tight to whatever part of him I could reach.
I was also a mess, but I tried not to think about that. No reason to spoil the moment.
We rearranged ourselves so Nathan sat against the headboard, and I was in the circle of his arms with my back to his chest. His fingers drew idle designs against my skin, and I was halfway asleep when his voice rumbled in my ear.
“Hey, Deke. I want to hire you for something.”
“What?” I asked blearily. “We literally just finished creating a new fashion line and you already want another one?”
“No, not that.” His hand fell still and pressed against my chest right over my heart. “I want you to design a tattoo for me.”
My fatigue instantly vanished and I spun around to face him. “What? A tattoo? You mean, like... for you?”
He already had so many, but my gaze instantly found the bare patches of skin still available. One spot on his chest caught my eye. It wasn’t too large, but it was near his heart, exactly where I’d leave my mark if given the choice.
Nathan ran a hand over himself, all the way from neck to stomach. “Yes. I want something of yours on my skin so I can always carry it with me. So, what’d you say? Design me something?”
Words eluded me as I jumped up from the bed to fetch something to draw with. I probably looked like a fool, rummaging through an apartment that I didn’t know for drawing supplies.
Eventually, I found some paper and a pen in the home office—where I probably should have checked first—and ran back to the bedroom.
Nathan hadn’t moved from where I left him. He laughed at me as I threw myself back into his arms and curled up on his lap so he could see the paper as well. My mind was already flooded with so many ideas and it seemed like my fingers couldn’t move fast enough as I started to draw.
I had no idea what the final tattoo would look like, just as I had no idea where my relationship with Nathan would go in the future. However, tattoos were permanent, and I considered it a good sign. No matter what happened in the future, and no matter what direction our relationship took, Nathan and I would be a permanent fixture in each other’s lives.