Kitty

Chapter 12Moving Home

12

2016

Kitty knocked on the front door and waited. She scanned the windows, but with the curtains closed and no obvious lights to be seen, it was hard to tell whether anyone was home or not. She banged the envelope against her palm and figured she’d give it a minute or so and then if no one answered, she’d pop the card through the letterbox.

It was almost a shock when the door opened rather suddenly and even more of a shock to see the state of the man who had opened it. His hair was dishevelled, he needed a shave and by the look of his shirt, he had been sleeping in it for some time. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen and he smelt less than fragrant. Theo Montgomery looked every one of his forty-nine years.

‘Oh, Theo, you look terrible.’ She stepped over the threshold as he stood back against the door.

‘Good. I feel terrible,’ he croaked. ‘How did you hear?’ His voice had the gravelly rasp of someone who hadn’t slept.

Kitty had taken the phone call a couple of days earlier from a very distressed Sophie.

‘Mum…’ Sophie had fought to form words through her sobs. ‘Mum, I can’t believe it…’

‘What is it, darling?’ Kitty was at work, in the gallery. She quickly sat down on the stool behind the counter as her heart leapt in fear at what her daughter might be about to reveal.

‘It’s… it’s Anna,’ she began. ‘Stella just called me.’ An image of Theo’s formidable mother came into Kitty’s head. ‘Anna passed away, Mum. She died! Very suddenly.’ Sophie broke off to give in to her sobs and Kitty sat frozen in shock. ‘Oh, Mum! I can’t believe it. Theo is destroyed. Poor Dad. I can’t believe it.’

‘What happened? Do you know?’ Kitty asked softly.

‘Apparently it was her heart… Her mother died of the same thing, Stella said. I feel so sad, Mum. Really low. Anna was lovely. She loved me and I loved her, I really did.’

‘I know darling, I know.’ Her heart flexed in sadness for the loss of the lovely Anna, but also for the pain her daughter was in.

‘She… she helped me so much, especially when me and Dad first got to know each other. All those trips to fun places in the school holidays… D’you remember?’

Kitty nodded vigorously. Of course she remembered. Her warm, funny phone chats with Anna had been a highlight during that time – almost every week, right up until Sophie had gone off to uni. After that, contact had dwindled a little. Kitty hadn’t felt quite right about initiating phone calls, and news had mostly been passed to and fro via Sophie, with Christmas cards and occasional emails in between. She hadn’t actually seen either Anna or Theo for about two years. And now it was too late. She felt like crying too.

‘I can’t think how different things might have been for Dad and me if we hadn’t had Anna as our interpreter,’ Sophie said. ‘She was wonderful and I shall miss her so much, Mum.’ Her voice cracked again.

‘Oh, my darling. Please don’t cry, Soph…’

A wave of sadness washed through her. Sophie was right. She had benefitted hugely from having Anna’s influence in her life. Anna had been a woman without envy, without selfishness and with so much love to give.

‘So how did you hear?’ Theo asked again, drawing Kitty back into the now.

‘Your mum called Sophie. And she told me.’

‘Of course.’ He nodded. ‘Is Sophie okay?’

‘Upset, naturally. Very upset. She sends you all her love.’

Again, he nodded and rubbed at eyes that were clearly sore. Kitty took in his bare feet, creased jeans and the faint aroma of booze. She remembered standing on that very doorstep with a nervous thirteen-year-old Sophie by her side. Fourteen years ago! It had taken only seconds after the door opened that day for her anxiety to slip away as Anna walked forward and wrapped her arms around her…

‘I am so sorry, Theo. I have wept for you, wept for you both.’ This she offered a little too matter-of-factly, trying to keep her emotions in check.

‘Are you not going to ask me how I’m coping?’ he shot back.

‘No need, Theo.’ She looked him up and down.

He smiled weakly. ‘Everyone else seems to be using that special tone of voice around me – you know the one, softened, quiet. It reminds me of being a kid when an adult had some bad news to give. It always makes me feel worse somehow.’

‘I understand that.’ And she did. She recalled all too well the awkward pauses when people wanted to discuss Angus’s departure from their marriage and were so wary of saying the wrong thing.

‘I was going to send the card…’ She placed it on the hall dresser. ‘But then I thought I should come over and tell you how sorry I am. And I really am. Anna was wonderful, just wonderful and I know how much you loved her.’ She cursed the catch in her throat as she pictured Anna’s smiling, open face and the way the two of them used to look at each other with absolute devotion.

‘I did, very much. I do.’ He nodded and closed his eyes.

‘Of course. She was so kind to me and to Soph.’

‘She was kind to everyone. The letters I’ve had…’ He ran his palm over his stubble. ‘Shall we have a cup of tea?’

‘Yes, that sounds like a good idea.’

She followed him into the kitchen, trying not to stare at the disarray on the countertops that she knew Anna had liked to keep pristine. She stopped herself from suggesting she could clear up a bit, aware that Theo probably needed to wallow a while in the mess of his own making; it would be horrific if he thought she was trying to take over any of Anna’s tasks.

She sat at the kitchen table and watched as he filled the kettle and grabbed two clean mugs from the dishwasher.

‘In case you’re interested, I am doing very badly and I am not coping, not at all.’

She stared at him and remained quiet.

Theo spoke clearly and concisely, as he did when he had something of importance to say. ‘She seemed so well.’ He stared at the kettle. ‘We knew she had this heart murmur, but it was diagnosed years ago and it hadn’t troubled her since. She was fit. She’d taken Gunner for a run that day and then just an hour later…’ He gripped the countertop. ‘I don’t know what I’m going to do without her!’

Kitty watched with a flush of unease as Theo cried loudly.

She stood and walked over to him, placing her hand on his back, and hoped that the proximity of another human might help ease his pain. ‘It’s so hard, Theo. It is. And there are no magic words to make it better, so I won’t try.’

Theo cried until he seemed to run out of tears. He straightened and stiffened, embarrassed by the display. Kitty made the tea and the two sat down at the kitchen table.

‘We thought that if we were very lucky we might have decades left, thought we had all the time in the world to do all the things we wanted, and then just like that…’ He clicked his fingers. ‘She was gone. We were planning to revamp the garden and we had trips booked.’ He looked at the window. ‘This heart thing she had was genetic. Her mum died in her thirties and it was the reason Anna decided against adoption in the end – it was almost as if she knew, or was worried about it, at least. But we never really spoke about it. I suppose I assumed that because she’d gone way past the age her mum was, we were home and dry.’ He scratched the stubble on his chin.

‘I know it’s not the same, but when I lost my mum, I could only think about all the things I hadn’t done, the feeling that I should have made more effort.’ Kitty sighed. ‘Guilt is a natural part of grieving, I think, but as time went on, that faded. And now I think more about the times I did spend with her, and the happy things.’

‘Please, Kitty, do not start with the touchy-feely stuff or the stages of grief! My wife has died and I didn’t always treat her how I should have, not at the beginning. I became a better husband, a better person, because of her, but I can’t stop thinking about those first years when she was hurting and I was closed down. I can’t change that, but I wish I could and it feels terrible.’

‘You’re right, you can’t change it. But that’s what I’m saying, Theo – let it out, get mad and then move on, try and focus on the wonderful decades that you did have. You two were the envy of everyone who met you. You shared something very rare, something that most people don’t ever come close to having, and so you should try and feel thankful—’

‘Thankful?’ He raised his voice. ‘Christ, she has been snatched from me and she was everything! Forty-eight years old! I can’t feel thankful, I am furious! Anna was sweet and kind and loving and all that despite having the worst start in life. We had so much left to do and say, how the fuck is that fair?’ He sat back with his chest heaving and his breath coming in bursts, flexing his knuckles. ‘I got home, put my key in the door and climbed the stairs, turned into the bedroom and there she was…’

‘That’s awful.’ Kitty felt her heart leap in her chest at the image.

He took a deep, slow breath and stared at her. ‘So maybe you are right. Maybe I do feel a little bit better for getting angry.’

She gave a brief smile, one of a thousand gestures to let him know that while she didn’t see him often, she was invested in him. She cared about him.

‘I’m a mess.’ He sat forward.

‘I would say so, yes.’

‘Sweet Jesus, do you never sugar-coat anything?’ He shook his head. ‘When did you get so hardened?’

‘I don’t think I am, Theo, not really. But I do know that life can end in a blink.’ She thought of her mum walking out onto Kilan Pasture in the freezing hours before dawn, and she also pictured Anna. ‘And we don’t really have time for the dance that goes with not being straight about how we feel and what we want.’

‘You’re talking about Angus?’

She gave a wry smile. ‘A bit.’

The two sipped their tea in silence until Theo looked up at the clock. ‘I think I might have a nap. I seem to be asleep more than I’m awake at the moment. It feels good to shut down, opt out for a bit. My head hurts from all the thinking.’

‘I bet it does. Look, I’ll push off.’ She reached for her car keys. ‘Listen to your body, Theo. If you need to sleep, sleep.’

He nodded. ‘The funeral is next Thursday – I’ll let Soph have the details.’

‘Of course, and you know where I am if you need anything.’

‘Thanks, Kitty.’ He saw her to the front door and closed it firmly before she’d made it to the end of the path.

She sat in the car and looked up at the house with the curtains drawn and the cloud of sadness hanging over it. Even the plants seemed to droop forlornly, missing the hand of the person who loved and tended to them. Kitty was desperately worried about Theo and considered how best to proceed. She was tempted to hammer down the door, hold him fast and tell him she would be there for him no matter what; but this she knew would in part be fuelled by the feelings she had for him, inappropriate feelings when the man had just lost the love of his life, and inappropriate for her to confess, even to herself, as it would only mean further heartache for her, and that was the last thing she needed.

*

St. Mary’s Church, Barnes was busy. Friends, relatives and neighbours crammed into the pews, shedding tears as they picked up the order of service with its picture of Anna on the front; she was holding her beloved Gunner and smiling into the camera.

Kitty and Sophie slotted into seats near the back. Kitty reached for her daughter’s hand. There was something about a funeral that seemed to pull the stopper from the bottle in which all the hurts lived. At twenty-eight, Sophie had still only been to one funeral before, her grandma’s, and Kitty knew that when her daughter dabbed the tissue at her eye, it would be for Anna, of course, but also for Theo at his loss, and for all the other sadness that Sophie held, big and small.

Theo came in and kept his eyes resolutely on the front of the church. A taller, lanky man walked by his side. Kitty glanced briefly at Theo’s sallow complexion. He looked utterly broken and just the sight of him was like a punch to the gut. It reminded her so much of how her dad had looked when her mum had died. She pictured him now, rattling around Darraghfield and keeping busy with the estate, still not fully restored to the person he was, but better; much, much better.

Hymns rang out. Jordan, Anna’s cousin from New York, could barely get through his eulogy. His words were heartfelt as he clutched the sides of the lectern, reminiscing about their teenage year together in Birmingham, their shared love of music and silly theatricals, the regular phone calls across the Atlantic. Anna’s friend Shania was next. ‘Anna and I met when we were kids in care…’ This reminder sent a jolt through Kitty. It was easy to forget the start Anna had had; her tough childhood could have made her bitter, could have sent her in a different direction, but Anna had pushed on through and become the loveliest of people, the most loyal of friends.

As Kitty sat listening, she imagined the kind words and fond memories dancing up above the rafters and then falling like stardust, settling on the congregation and making them all feel a little happier.

After the service, everyone drifted back to the home Anna had shared with Theo. It felt odd being there without Anna present. She had always been a wonderful host and more than one person commented on how they half expected her to pop up and replenish glasses. Sombre-faced waitresses ferried platters of sandwiches and nibbles around the room. Kitty recognised some individuals she’d met at the house before. There was the very elderly Sylvie, who’d known Anna a long time. She cried loudly and without restraint, and was supported by a nice-looking man called Ned, whom Kitty assumed was her son; he kept crooking his finger into the collar of his shirt and pulling, as if he found it constricting. And Shania, of course, who’d spoken so eloquently in the church and who’d travelled all the way from St Lucia. She looked utterly bereft as she linked arms and chatted to another friend of Anna’s, a heavyset American called Melanie. Anna’s half-sister, Lisa, was there with her new husband, her cab-driver brother Micky, and her older daughter Kaylee, whom she knew Anna adored.

‘It’s Kitty, isn’t it?’

She turned to see the tall, lanky man who’d escorted Theo into the church.

‘Yes.’ She nodded. ‘I’m Sophie’s mum,’ she added nervously, for some reason feeling that she needed to explain her presence. Sophie herself was chatting to her gran, Stella.

‘I know.’ He gave a wry smile. ‘I’m Spud, Theo’s friend from university.’ He tutted. ‘I don’t know why I said that – I’ve been his friend ever since university too. Can’t seem to shake him off.’

‘Yes, of course.’ She’d heard the name mentioned by Sophie. Mostly in stories about Theo’s misspent youth and usually featuring dingy student digs and a fondness for scampi no matter what the occasion.

‘I’m worried about Theo.’ He cut to the chase.

‘Yes, me too.’ She looked out towards the hallway, where Theo was leaning against the bannister and sipping from his tumbler while Jordan seemed to be giving him detailed advice.

‘He doesn’t cope too well with major setbacks. He’s not resilient.’ Spud spoke in a fatherly fashion, caring and without sounding judgemental. She found it endearing.

‘No.’

‘I live in Washington, sadly, so I can’t be here all the time, but he needs someone.’

She looked at him and wondered when he was going to get to the point.

‘I think you need to keep an eye on him, Kitty.’

‘Me?’

‘Yes. He doesn’t trust many people and no one knows him that well and it would be unfair to ask Sophie.’

‘Yes, it would.’ She looked at her girl, sitting on the floor and thumbing the skin on the back of her gran’s hand as she listened to her chat. Sophie had only just taken up a new teaching post and needed to put all her efforts into her career.

‘It feels weird me asking you.’ He gave a snort of laughter.

Kitty was finding his manner a bit strange. ‘How do you mean?’

‘When Theo and I first met at uni, he told me you were kind of the one that got away, and we had a plan – “To erasing Kitty!”’ He lifted his beer bottle in a mock toast. ‘It basically involved heavy drinking and dating as many girls as possible. He was doing well, until you bumped into each other again.’ He paused and they both looked again at Sophie. ‘Sorry, this really is starting to sound weird.’ He coughed.

‘Just a bit.’

‘What I mean is, he needs someone to look out for him and I think it should be you. He is totally lost without Anna.’

They both glanced up as Jordan now wrapped Theo in a warm embrace.

Kitty nodded. ‘I will do my best, but I don’t want to be pushy or stick my nose in where it’s not wanted. I might have known Theo a long time, but we’re only close via Soph. We don’t know each other that well, not really.’

And I need to protect my own heart, I need to look after me. I am also not as resilient as others might think.

Spud swigged from his beer bottle. ‘I don’t know who else to ask.’

Kitty was moved by the genuine look of concern on his face. ‘He’s lucky to have a friend like you.’

‘And I’m lucky to have him.’ He straightened.

‘So you are back off to Washington?’

‘Yes, tomorrow. I hate flying, but I need to get back. I’m about to become a grandad for the first time.’ He beamed. ‘My wife would never forgive me if I missed the big event.’

‘Oh, how lovely! Congratulations.’

‘Yep, my daughter, Miyu. We don’t know what she’s having, it’s a surprise.’

‘I can’t wait for that. But I better keep my voice down, don’t want Sophie to feel any pressure. Mind you, when I was twenty-seven, I was well into motherhood. Soph was already six…’ She beamed at the memory.

‘Miyu’s made an early start too. She’s only twenty. But when the time’s right, it’s right, I guess. Motherhood has come knocking and she’s happy. So’s my wife, Kumi – just don’t call her granny. I learnt that one the hard way.’ He sucked air through his clenched teeth.

Kitty sipped her wine and both fell silent. She imagined Spud, like her, was thinking of Anna, who had so desperately wanted motherhood to come knocking.

‘To Anna.’ She lifted her glass and Spud clinked his beer bottle against it.

‘To Anna.’

*

Kitty left it a week before picking up the phone. Spud’s words rattled around her head. It was a fine line to walk: she wanted to be the best friend she could to Theo, but she didn’t want to interfere, not at this horrible, sad time of reflection. She felt conflicted.

‘Yes.’ His voice was more of a growl and she suspected was tinged with booze.

‘It’s me. Kitty. I was wondering how you’re doing?’

He sighed slowly. ‘Not great.’

‘What can I do to help you, Theo?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Do you have food in?’

‘Yep.’

‘Do you have someone to talk to?’

‘Nope and that’s just fine.’

It was her turn to sigh.

‘Okay, well, I’ll let you get on, but don’t let things build up. I’m on the end of the line if you need someone to talk to, and I can be there in no time at all if you want someone to sit with you or you need anything at all. I am your friend. Okay?’

‘Okay.’ He sounded like he might be crying and this only put her at a further loss for words. ‘Actually, Kitty, there is one thing.’ He sniffed.

‘Of course. What?’

‘I have an estate agent coming to put the house on the market and I don’t think I can face it on my own – could you come over?’

‘You’re putting the house on the market?’ She couldn’t help the surprise in her tone or the implication that this was the worst possible thing to do right now.

‘Yes. I don’t want to be here without her.’

‘Well, if that’s what you’ve decided, then of course, Theo, you just let me know when and I’ll be there.’

She wasn’t sure that moving so quickly was right for Theo. Time away, she understood; a change of scenery, yes; but ridding himself of the only place he and Anna had ever lived? She would have to think about how she might raise this when she saw him next.

*

A few days later she was in the car when her phone flashed on the passenger seat. She engaged the hands-free. ‘Hey, Soph!’

‘I just tried home and you aren’t there. And I know it’s not a gallery day.’

‘That’s right. I am allowed to leave the house occasionally!’ She laughed.

‘I didn’t know where you were.’ Her daughter’s tone was almost accusatory.

‘Well, I am sorry for not keeping you informed,’ she offered sarcastically, actually rather liking the fact that her girl wanted to keep tabs on her. She had a fear of getting lost or ill and being unaccounted for, but with Sophie and Olly in regular contact, this was less likely to happen. ‘If you must know, I’m popping over to Theo’s.’

‘ My Theo’s?’

Again, Kitty laughed, choosing not to point out that if he had not been her Theo first, he would never have been Sophie’s Theo… ‘Yes! He’s thinking of selling the house and has an agent coming over. I’m going to sit with him.’

‘That’s a bit weird!’

‘Not really. He’s just lost his wife and he needs a bit of support.’

‘I guess. I feel bad that I can’t go, it’s just that with my new job—’

‘Soph, don’t feel bad. No one expects you to take time off. We understand, and I bet he appreciates your calls, more than you know. Besides, I’m happy to go and see him. I’ve even got some beef bourguignon for his freezer.’

‘Oh, thank you, Mum.’

Being thanked was another odd reminder of how Sophie and Theo shared a closeness that excluded her. Not that she was envious, not at all; they were father and daughter and she was glad, but it felt odd, nonetheless.

Sophie spoke softly. ‘I think it might be a bit soon for him to be selling the house – it’s where all of his memories of Anna live. I remember her telling me about the first time she ever went there and saw the garden and thought it was the most marvellous thing she had ever seen and that she couldn’t imagine living anywhere so grand. She always loved the place.’

‘Yes, she did. And I thought the same.’ Kitty smiled at the shared insight. ‘But Theo can only do what he thinks will help, and all we can do is be there for him.’

‘Yep. Give him my love.’

‘Will do, darling.’

The traffic in Barnes was exceptionally bad and Kitty had barely had time to take off her coat and step into Theo’s kitchen before the front doorbell rang.

‘Good afternoon!’ The young man spoke with gusto and a grin, more reminiscent of a perky disc jockey hired to rouse listeners from their afternoon slump than a man of business. ‘I’m Jason.’

Kitty looked at Theo over the top of Jason’s head and stifled a laugh.

‘Mr Montgomery.’ Jason put his hand out, which Theo shook briefly, reluctantly.

‘And Mrs Montgomery.’ He did the same to her.

‘Oh!’ She felt her face colour. It was inappropriate and embarrassing on so many levels. ‘No, I’m just a friend.’

‘Righto.’

She couldn’t be sure, but there might have been the vaguest suggestion of a wink from the young Jason. His cologne was strong and his hair neat. Kitty folded her arms across her chest in defence.

‘Firstly, may I say what a pleasure it is to be invited into this wonderful home—’

‘How does this work, Jason?’ Theo cut him short, seemingly unwilling to go through the charade of giving a damn. He had told her before Jason arrived that he didn’t have time for small talk or bullshit. He stood back and ushered him into the house. ‘Do I follow you around pointing out that we are standing in the garden and so forth, which I am sure will be blindingly obvious, or do you wander about by yourself and take your measurements or whatever?’

‘Whichever is easiest for you, Mr Montgomery.’

‘What’s easiest for me is that you get rid of the bloody place as quickly as possible.’ Theo growled and clicked his fingers. Gunner, his springer spaniel, trotted to heel as he made his way to the kitchen, leaving Kitty alone with the chap in the hallway.

‘I think maybe take a wander and then meet us in the kitchen?’ she suggested.

‘Righto,’ Jason offered again, but this time with a lot less gusto.

‘I just want the place gone, Kitty,’ Theo said by way of justification. ‘I see her everywhere I look and it’s more than I can stand. I can see her now, standing by the lemon tree and if I look out of the kitchen window, I can see her kneeling by the flowerbed, taking cuttings. And I can’t go into the bedroom, where I saw her for the last time…’ He shut his eyes briefly. ‘There she is, every time I switch on the light, lying as though asleep, with one hand under her head and her eyes closed. She looked beautiful…’

‘Would it be okay if I started upstairs?’ Jason called, a slight warble to his voice now that he knew he wasn’t a welcome presence.

‘Yes!’ Theo bellowed and reached for the bottle of Glenfiddich.

‘Would you like a cup of coffee?’ Kitty hovered by the kettle.

‘You mean in addition to or as well as?’ He lifted the bottle.

‘Whichever. What I mean is that I want one and as you have made no attempt to offer me one, it was the only way I could think to get one without being impolite.’

‘I think we are way past worrying about politeness.’

She liked the small smile that played on his mouth, an indicator that beneath the gruff, grieving exterior, funny, smart Theo lurked somewhere inside.

‘True.’ Kitty filled the kettle and, like Theo, could only see Anna standing there, doing the very same thing within minutes of their arrival, staring adoringly at Sophie and asking her question after question:

‘So, who is this new man? Is he tall? Short? Are you keen?’

‘Have you seen Angus? What are he and Nikolai up to?’

‘Olly must have exams looming, is he studying?’

‘Have you been eating, Soph? You look a little too slim – how about some of my Victoria sponge, homemade of course!’

Theo poured a generous slug of whisky over cubes of ice that were still in his glass, unmelted, from his previous serving; he was clearly knocking his drinks back in quick succession.

‘I know you know this, but getting sloshed all day isn’t going to help and it isn’t going to change anything.’ She poured hot water onto the coffee grains that sat in a tiny heap in the bottom of the mug.

‘Actually you are wrong, it changes me from sober to pissed and I quite like that.’

She shook her head. ‘You can do whatever you want, Theo, but being pissed won’t help you make a decision. Any decision.’ She gestured upwards to where Jason the estate agent rattled around overhead.

Theo stared at his tumbler. ‘I miss her. And I can’t accept she isn’t going to walk though the door.’

‘I know.’ Kitty adopted the tone she used when the kids needed reassuring.

The front doorbell rang.

‘Can you get it?’

‘Sure.’ Kitty placed her coffee mug on the countertop and went to open the front door. She was met by the steely gaze of Theo’s mother, Stella. The sprightly octogenarian was as ever immaculately turned out, with her red lipstick sitting askew on her thinned lips and a teal and grey Hermès silk scarf tied stylishly at her slender neck.

‘Oh good, is Sophie here?’ This was her greeting as she gripped the doorframe and trod with great deliberation over the brass-lipped top step.

‘No, just me, I’m afraid, Stella.’ She smiled and held the door open.

‘Oh, what a shame!’ Stella shouted, as if it were others whose hearing was on the wane.

‘None taken…’ Kitty mumbled under her breath.

Stella turned into the sitting room and took up a seat by the fireplace. ‘Can you tell Theo I’m here,’ she instructed and Kitty felt the flicker of hysterics. This woman treated her like the housekeeper.

‘Theo…’ She grabbed her coffee and took a swig. ‘Your mother’s in the sitting room.’

‘Oh God! Can’t you get rid of her?’

‘Look…’ Kitty placed her free hand on her hip. ‘I came to support you, not act as go-between or referee between you and the estate agent and you and your mother. Come and sit through here, otherwise I shall have to hover in the hallway passing messages like a bloody telephone exchange!’

Theo huffed and reluctantly made his way into the sitting room. He sat on the sofa. Kitty sat on the other chair, beneath the window.

‘I was saying it’s a shame Sophie isn’t here.’ Stella eyed Kitty with suspicion. ‘I do like that girl. Good head on her shoulders!’

‘She has,’ Theo said, and Kitty wondered if she was invisible.

‘I see you’re drinking.’ Stella nodded at his glass of whisky.

‘Well, it’s good that there’s nothing wrong with your eyesight.’ He raised the glass and took a sip.

‘Drinking is so jolly predictable at a time like this and it makes you so very dull.’

‘My mother was always big on compliments.’ This he addressed to Kitty and she again felt like an interloper.

‘Now, Theodore,’ his mother began, removing her gloves and placing them neatly in her lap. ‘I shall get to the reason for my visit. I have spoken to Mrs Philpott who lives next door but one – you know, the family who moved in seven or so years ago; new money, husband a banker – do you know the people I mean? Ghastly curtains and too many children.’

‘Yes, I know them.’ He took a slug of his drink.

‘Good. Well, I told her about your situation…’

Kitty wondered why Stella couldn’t use her name? Anna! Her name was Anna and she was your daughter-in-law, not ‘a situation’.

‘And she told me about a friend of hers who lost his wife and took up dancing, if you can believe that. He joined a class locally and literally rhumbaed the evenings away, too exhausted to think. He lost a stone, which, let’s be honest, darling, wouldn’t do you any harm, and as if that weren’t benefit enough, he met a lovely girl, Lithuanian, I think, no, wait a minute, Albanian. Anyhow—’

Theo sat forward on the sofa. ‘I am so sorry, Mum, but I can’t listen to this today. I am going to assume that you mean well, but right now I am not too fond of waking up, let alone going dancing.’

A head appeared in the doorway. ‘Is it okay if I go outside and get the measure of the garden?’

Stella looked Jason up and down. ‘And who might you be?’

‘I’m Jason.’ He lifted his hand from his clipboard and gave a small wave.

‘Jason is an estate agent. I’m selling the house.’

‘Don’t be so ridiculous. Of course you’re not selling the house! What a thing to say. This is your home!’

‘It’s not my home. Not any more.’

Kitty felt very sorry for Jason, who was switching restlessly from one foot to the other.

‘I think going out to the garden is probably a good idea.’ Kitty shot him a look and he made a speedy exit.

‘It’s complete madness,’ Stella continued. ‘You don’t sell the house because of one bad memory. Not when it contains a million good ones. That’s ludicrous and it’s typical of you, Theo. It’s very indulgent and dramatic. You can grieve – in fact you must grieve. But to sell your home… Don’t be so bloody stupid!’ She gathered her gloves from her lap and put them on.

‘What do you think, Kitty?’ Theo looked at her from beneath heavy lids.

‘I agree with your mum to a certain extent.’

‘Well, there we have it!’ Stella sniffed.

‘Not about the drama or the self-indulgence, but you’re distraught, Theo, and I understand why. You’ve lost your Anna.’ She let this sink in. ‘I think you need to not add any more pressure to your thoughts right now, and moving at any time is a big deal, let alone with everything else you have going on.’

Stella stood to leave; clearly she had only come to say her piece. She made her way to the front door.

‘Do you think I should tell Jason to come back another day?’ Theo asked a little sheepishly.

Kitty nodded. ‘I do. Maybe selling up is the right thing for you, but I think you need to slow things down.’

He nodded. ‘I think you might be right. I just don’t know what to do.’ He looked unbearably sad and it ripped her heart.

‘That’s the thing, Theo, you don’t have to do anything.’

Again he nodded.

‘And if you don’t want to stay here, come and stay with me. I’ve got a spare room.’ The words slid out as easily as if she were offering a cup of tea or a lift, and once they were out there was no way to pop them back in.

‘Can I? Really?’

She was taken aback by his immediate interest, feeling an instant spike of concern at what this might mean for her mental health and their friendship.

‘Of course you can.’ She hoped she spoke with more certainty and benevolence than she felt. She reminded herself of her discussions with Spud and with Sophie, that the most important thing was to keep an eye on Theo and help him right now when he needed it the most.

Gunner loped into the room and yawned. ‘Can I bring Gunner?’

‘Sure.’ She smiled and just like that she acquired two lodgers, one with two legs and one with four.