Knot a Bad Idea (Bittersweet Omegas #5)

Chapter 1

1

APRIL

I lie on the bed and stare at the ceiling, a ridiculous, goofy grin on my face.

Holy crap.

This is my life right now.

I’m in a ridiculously comfortable bed surrounded by the softest blankets and pillows money can buy.

The sun is setting, casting a vibrant golden hue through the bedroom.

The post Heat bliss is glorious.

I can say, without a doubt, that this has been the best Heat of my life. I’m still a bit warm, and my body is sore from the strenuous activities, but it’s worth it.

I heave a heavy sigh while stretching my arms up, feeling more feline than woman.

A wave of tranquility washes over me as I pull the blankets further up my body and turn onto my side.

The bed still smells like Hunter, Liam, and Donovan.

They’ve kept me fed, hydrated, and clean while my hormones took over my body and made me a needy, horny mess.

I don’t know how many times they must have changed the sheets for me, and gratitude fills my heart.

They cherished and honored me even when I didn’t feel like I deserved it.

They treated like me like royalty.

And I liked it.

No, I loved it.

I hum contentedly.

I usually don’t prefer the princess treatment—that’s Skylar’s thing.

But maybe I just hadn’t found the right pack.

A knock sounds at the bedroom door, followed by a subtle scent of eucalyptus.

Liam.

“Come in,” I murmur, not moving from my spot in the nest. My limbs are heavy, and my heart is full as I smile to myself. The door was cracked, not shut.

Liam didn’t need to knock, but he did.

It’s such a sweet, thoughtful gesture.

The bed dips with a sudden weight, and strong, warm arms wrap around me. Liam pulls me to his chest, my back to his front, and he sighs against my neck. A subtle purr resonates from behind me, the vibrations soothing my tired limbs.

“How are you feeling?” he whispers, his breath tickling my skin. His nose nudges at my neck, and he inhales deeply, scenting me.

I can never get close enough to him. I never used to be a cuddler—but all I want to do is be in Liam’s arms. His love language is physical touch, and I know it helps ground him when he experiences anxiety.

Hunter’s is also physical touch, if how he’s thoroughly fucked me sideways for days at a time is any indication.

I still am not sure about Donovan, though.

I’m still figuring him out.

“Good,” I reply truthfully. Liam kisses the top of my head, and I sigh. “Happy.”

He squeezes me in his arms and chuckles softly behind me. “Me, too.”

Liam continues to purr, and I doze in and out as the light from the sunset slowly fades. “How many days has it been?” I murmur.

“Seven,” he says, amusement in his tone.

My eyes open. “ Seven ?”

My Heats have never been that long. They have maybe been five days, at most.

But a whole week ?

“It’s been amazing,” Liam murmurs. “The best week of my life.”

He shifts his hips, and his cock is rock hard against my ass in agreement with him.

I wait for the guilt that’s sure to overwhelm me.

A week of just being pampered.

A week of not being productive.

You don’t deserve it, a voice whispers to me. You don’t deserve any of this.

But then Liam rocks his hips again, his sweatpants the only thing covering his cock, and I move back against him, warmth pooling in my core.

“Is this okay?” he whispers into my ear.

I nod subtly. I always want to make Liam feel good. He’s the kindest, sweetest Alpha I’ve ever met.

I’m lucky to have him.

He thrusts against me, and I arch my back, a gasp escaping me. My pussy is still sore from everything we’ve done, but that doesn’t stop my clit from aching for attention.

Naked under the blankets, the evidence of my arousal drips down my clenched thighs.

“I need to hear you come,” Liam continues, one hand reaching in front of me to move down my stomach. “Please—I need to hear it.”

His expert fingers find my clit as I part my thighs slightly, and he hisses when he feels the slick between my legs. He works me with two fingers, creating tiny circles on my clit until I’m thrusting against his hardness and gasping out his name.

“Fuck,” he groans into my neck once I fall over the edge. I soak his fingers and my thighs, whimpering out my orgasm until my body burns with need.

It’s not enough. My Heat may be over, but my desire will never end.

Liam is always so patient . He never takes without asking. He never chases his pleasure first.

So, the least I can do is wriggle out of his grip, push his shoulders down until he’s on his back, and climb on top of him. The blankets fall around us as I straddle his thighs, and he looks up at me with his lips parted, his forest green eyes burning into mine.

“You know,” I say conversationally, yanking his sweatpants down until his cock is out, thick and bobbing for attention. He lifts his hips and groans as I take him in my fist, pumping him lazily. “You have the biggest cock I’ve ever seen.”

It’s true. Maybe I shouldn’t say it, but he’s massive. Hunter and Donovan are huge as well, but Liam’s is so thick that every time he enters me, it steals my breath away.

The groan he rewards me with is worth the confession. He grits his teeth and tilts his head back, the vein in his neck exposed.

I want to bite it.

“Ah…fuck,” he hisses. “Baby?—”

I run my thumb over his tip, collecting the precome there as I straddle him, drunk on his groans and his scent.

“So big,” I whisper, grinning. Maybe his love language is words of affirmation instead, because his cock grows thicker in my hand and harder than I thought possible.

Praising Liam is quickly becoming one of my favorite things to do, especially when it makes him grip the sheets in desperation.

His abs are tensed and on display, the muscles in his chest and neck straining as I pump him.

“April,” he hisses through clenched teeth. “I need to be inside you.”

I’m teasing myself as much as I’m teasing him. My cunt aches until his cock in my hand isn’t enough.

Positioning myself over him slightly, I slowly sit on his cock, letting out a breath as his length fills me.

I go agonizingly slow just so my body can accommodate him.

“Huge,” I whisper, and his hands grip my hips tightly, his fingers digging into me so hard I know they’ll bruise. But it’s worth it to watch Liam slowly lose control, putting aside his inhibitions just so he can fuck me.

When I’m full of him and our hips are touching, his eyes meet mine. His pupils are blown, his eyes more black than green, and he moves a hand from my hip to reach out and play with my breasts. He almost looks pained as he stays still underneath me, waiting for me to take control.

He’s done it during my Heat. He’s led the way, taking what he wants.

Now it’s my turn.

“You want me to move?” I whisper, clenching my walls around him. He rewards me with a low moan and a tug to my nipple.

“Fuck, yes,” he whispers. “Fuck, baby, please .”

Eucalyptus and a hint of mint swirl around me as I rock my hips, his cock pushing into me deeper. I work myself up and down on Liam, wet sounds filling the room as I bounce on his cock.

“Play with your tits,” he rasps. “Please, let me watch.”

He returns his hands to my waist as I arch my back and reach to fondle my breasts, pushing them together and squeezing.

“Yes, fuck,” Liam groans, moving my hips so I ride him faster. His cock hits against the sensitive spot inside me, and I close my eyes and see stars.

The sounds of our moans and groans fill the room, and I’m so lost in pleasure that I don’t register the spicy scent that mingles with Liam’s until a voice speaks behind me.

“You know, baby, you’re really fucking lucky that I have good self-esteem, or I’d be pretty pissed that you said his cock is bigger than mine.”

Hunter is behind me, watching as I ride Liam.

I can only moan in reply and let out a choked laugh. But I lean down to kiss Liam, lifting my ass in the air to give Hunter a better view of me riding Liam’s cock.

The bed dips with weight, and a pair of hands caress my bottom while Liam gropes my breasts.

“I wonder how accurate that statement is,” Hunter muses from behind me. “How you could possibly know without comparing us both at the same time.”

Hunter slaps my ass as I ride Liam, and fire blooms across my backside.

“I should paint that pretty ass red,” he growls, “for running your mouth.”

He spanks me harder, and I only moan in reply.

“You’re soaking the sheets,” Hunter rasps. “Making such a mess in your nest.”

Liam’s mouth travels to my mating gland and he growls into the sensitive skin just as the tip of Hunter’s cock presses into my already stretched opening.

“So tell me, baby,” Hunter growls, slowly pushing into me. “Which cock is bigger?”

Liam groans into my skin as Hunter enters me all the way. Hunter freezes behind me, giving me time to adjust to him.

“You look so pretty with two cocks in you,” he says lowly. “Taking both of us at the same time.”

Hunter thrusts his hips, and the three of us groan in unison. I pull at Liam’s hair as their cocks rock into me, and a delicious warmth builds in my core until I arch my neck and cry out.

“Good girl,” Hunter praises. “Come all over us. Fuck , I can feel you squeezing us.”

Waves of pleasure wash over me as my body clenches and my cunt flutters around their cocks. Liam stays inside me while Hunter continues to pull out and push in again.

“That’s it, sweetheart,” Liam praises. “Don’t stop. I can’t come unless you come.”

Then Hunter slams back into so hard the bed shakes with our movements.

My second release hits me by surprise, stronger than the last one, and Liam’s cock starts to swell.

“Oh fuck,” he breathes as I rock my hips back and forth. “Fuck, I’m going to knot.”

“Yes,” I moan. “Knot me, Alpha .”

Liam growls, and his cock inflates, shooting ropes of his cum into me. He stuffs me with his knot, and Hunter keeps fucking me until his breath comes in harsh stutters.

“I can take both,” I gasp out. “I can take both of your knots. You don’t need to pull out?—”

But I’m blabbering nonsense, and Hunter knows it. I’m not in Heat; and even if I was, two knots at once would be difficult, to say the least.

So, as I ride Liam, Hunter pulls out of me and lets out a low, deep groan. Hot release coats my ass as he comes all over my backside, then collapses onto the other side of the bed, naked.

Liam rolls us onto our sides until I’m in between both him and Hunter, locked on Liam’s knot with my back to his chest. Hunter faces me on his side, his face pulled into a lazy grin as he catches his breath.

“You’re going to fucking kill me one day, baby,” he breathes. “Holy shit.”

But I’m still chasing the high from Liam’s knot. I close my eyes and shiver against Liam while Hunter watches.

“Fuck, that’s beautiful,” his low voice continues. “We should just keep you in bed like this to be our pretty little cockwarmer. What do you think, baby?”

Liam nips at my mating gland while I whimper. “You’re ridiculous,” I bite out, but I open my eyes to see Hunter with hooded lids, his lazy grin turning into a wicked smirk.

“I think it’s a wonderful idea,” Liam breathes. “As long as you keep coming for us. That’s all that matters.”

To accentuate his point, he brings his mouth to my mating gland and sucks, hard.

And in that moment, it really does feel like that’s all that matters.

A nagging little voice stays in the back of my head, no matter how much I enjoy spending my time in bed with Hunter and Liam.

Donovan has made himself scarce. I know he was there for my Heat, but not as much as Hunter and Liam were.

When I shower, Liam and Hunter join me, Hunter standing behind me and washing my hair while Liam kneels on the shower floor in front of me to lick my cunt clean.

It’s amazing. My fingers are buried in Liam’s hair as he eats me out, and Hunter reaches in front of me to play with my nipples until I gush down Liam’s throat.

They help me dry off. We laugh and talk, and the evening couldn’t be better.

Except Donovan’s nowhere to be found, even when we’re downstairs at the dining table playing a botany-themed board game.

“Is everything alright with Donovan?” I ask finally. “Where is he?”

Even his rich ocean and saltwater scent has faded in the packhouse.

Hunter sits across from me, staring at the cards in his hand. He looks up at me briefly, and I catch a hint of a shadow cross his face. “He’s at the office,” he says evenly.

Liam makes a face next to me. “He’s been busy,” he says.

Something is up with him, and they’re not telling me what’s going on.

“I have a right to know,” I say finally. “He was here during my Heat. Is he avoiding me?”

Insecurities pummel through me.

Of course he would avoid you.

He could have anyone he wants; he doesn’t need some defective Omega.

But Liam reaches under the table and squeezes my hand. “He would be an idiot to do that,” he says gently.

It’s not a no , though.

Hunter places down his cards and sighs. “Donovan is fucking off and working because that’s what he does. He buries himself in his job, and honestly, he’s probably fucking jealous that you came more times on our cocks than you did his.”

My face flushes. “Huh? You counted?”

He grins, his green eyes bright with mischief. “I sure as shit did, baby. Me and Liam were tied.”

“Donovan only made you climax twelve times,” Liam adds helpfully.

I snort. “Okay, is that it? There’s nothing else with him?”

I can’t fix Donovan, nor can I change him.

But I would still like to know what his problem is.

Hunter sighs. “It’s not you. It’s his own shit.”

“Whenever Donovan experiences something other than—” Liam starts, but Hunter cuts him off.

“Whenever he decides to not be an asshole, and actually feel something,” Hunter mutters, “he short circuits.”

“Right,” Liam adds. “Him holing himself away is his way of dealing with his feelings.”

I blink. “So, we had such incredible sex that he had to hide in his office?”

Hunter barks out a laugh. “Something like that.”

It doesn’t sit right with me. I remember the intensity in his eyes when he took me. I recall the first time he kissed me, and how much desperation was in that kiss.

“Donovan doesn’t like to lose control,” Liam adds. “And with you, he did. He broke all the rules, and I think he’s still processing that.”

I bite my lip and furrow my brow.

“It’s not your job to fix this. Don’t think that for one fucking second,” Hunter snaps. I look up at him in shock at his sudden declaration. “You don’t need to fix any of us, baby. I can see it in your face that you want to try.”

I lean my head on Liam’s shoulder, and he strokes my hair. “You don’t need to worry,” he adds softly. “It’s impossible to not love you.”

My heart stutters, shocked at Liam’s casual use of the word love .

But how can that be true if the one person that knew who I was going into this “fake” relationship doesn’t want anything to do with me?

“Maybe he should go to therapy,” I mutter.

Liam laughs humorlessly. “I’ve tried to tell him numerous times.”

“Yeah, good fucking luck with that one,” Hunter adds. “He just needs his space to be pissy, then he’ll be back, good as new. It has nothing to do with you, baby, I promise. You’re the only fucking reason he bothers to smile.”

I swallow and want to believe him, but I don’t.

Even as we play board games until the early morning, the worry is in the back of my mind.

My connection with Donovan is fading.

Maybe it was never there.

“Sorry to call you so early,” I murmur into the phone.

“Are you serious? I haven’t been to bed yet,” Skylar replies. “I’ve been baking.”

“Of course you have,” I sigh. “Does that mean you’re stress baking?”

“No, not me,” she says. “I’m actually pretty calm, believe it or not. The little terror is here.”

“Who, Devyn?”

“ April ?” a voice squeaks. “Oh my god, is that April?”

Skylar sighs. “Yes, Devyn, it is.”

“Tell her I say hi!”

“She says hello,” Skylar mutters, and I can’t help but smile.

I miss them both, but I’m glad they’re spending time together. Devyn is like the little sister Skylar, and I never had.

Despite her outbursts of energetic positivity, she’s a great person to be around, even if she’s a little much sometimes.

“Wait. Why is she up with you baking?” I ask.

“Um,” Skylar’s voice grows softer. “Something with Ben. She feels guilty for wanting a pack, and she’s kind of spiraling. I told her baking helps me when I stress out. I kicked River, Vincent, and Landon out for the evening so it could just be us, and so far, we’ve made fudge brownies and peanut butter blondies.”

I frown. “Has she tried talking to him?” I ask.

Skylar sighs. “You mean communication? The one thing that prevents half of life’s problems from happening?”

“Yes. That thing.” I pick at the design on the comforter as I lie in bed, knowing that communication is the crux of my problem with Donovan.

“She says she has, but I don’t think she’s being entirely truthful. And she doesn’t like to listen to us.”

“No, she listens to us when it’s convenient,” I reply. “It sounds like someone else I know.”

“Hey! I’ll have you know I’ve been good with that stuff recently,” Skylar huffs.

“Well, that’s good. That’s actually why I’m calling you.”

“Oh, shit. Is it about the guys?”

I let out a slow breath. “One of them. Yeah. Is that okay that I’m asking you?”

“For advice ? How many times have I called you losing my mind?”

Even though Skylar’s right, it doesn’t mean I’m comfortable asking for help just yet.

And with the NDA I signed, I have to navigate the conversation carefully.

“I know. I’m not on speaker, right?”

“Of course not,” Skylar says. “Hey Dev, I’ll be right back.”

“Okay, Skye!” Devyn chirps, and I wait a moment before speaking.

“You ready?” I ask. “This is probably going to sound weird, but hear me out.”

“I love weird,” Skylar says.

I frown. “I know you do.” Unwanted images of her making those special batches of macarons for her pack fill my mind.

I wonder if Devyn knows how freaky her friend is.

To be fair, Hunter would probably love it if I put my slick in a brownie.

I shudder.

“You there?” Skylar asks, interrupting my train of thought.

“How did you deal with Vincent?” I blurt out.

There’s a beat of silence. “Huh?” Skylar asks.

“You said in the beginning Vincent didn’t like you, or at least, you didn’t get along.” I recall our conversations after I got out of the hospital. Skylar told me the story of how she met her pack, and how Vincent was the most difficult of the three Alphas.

Now, he worships the ground she walks on.

“Oh, yeah, he was a prick,” Skylar says cooly. “A total asshole.”

I scoff in disbelief. “ Okay ? But he’s your mate, right?”

“Yes, I said he was an asshole, not he is . Well, River might disagree with that.”

“What changed?” I ask softly.

There’s a pause on the other end. “Wait, did something happen? I swear to fucking god, April, I’ll fucking kill them?—”

“Skylar. Stop. Focus ,” I interrupt. “When did your relationship with Vincent get better?”

“Fine,” Skylar says. “It took time with Vincent. He was...clearly not looking for a relationship. He was fine being by himself, and even when he agreed to help us find you, he still kept his distance. Honestly? I think he finally stopped closing himself off when he realized he almost lost me. After…you know.”

After she was kidnapped, held by the same group of traffickers that kept me hostage.

“When did you know something changed?” I ask softly, doing my best to keep my voice even.

My best friend has gone through the same trauma as me, yet I’m over here begging for scraps of advice about how to maintain a fake relationship.

Well, it’s not really fake anymore.

Is it?

There’s a beat of silence on Skylar’s end. “His eyes,” she says softly. “They weren’t as guarded. There was something else there. I know it sounds stupid, like some cheesy movie cliché, but he just looked at me differently.”

“And he still looks at you that way?”

“Yeah. He looks at me like I’m his…home. Does that make any sense?”

I swallow. “Yeah. It does.”

Liam has always been open and honest with me. His eyes are earnest and his expression soft. Hunter never shies away from me, whether he’s being playful or passionate.

But am I their home ?

I highly doubt that’s how they look at me.

And Donovan…

Donovan is closed off, with an icy gaze so cold it could freeze over Hell.

I’ve only seen him soften it a few times, but when he does, it’s breathtaking.

But most of the time, Donovan is an impenetrable wall, possibly worse than Vincent.

“It’s Donovan, isn’t it?” Skylar asks.

I swallow. “What gives you that idea?”

“Because your best friend isn’t an idiot and knows how to use deductive reasoning. Also, your mom likes to talk.”

I groan and rub my forehead. “What did she say?”

“Just that if anyone is going to give you a hard time, it’s going to be Donovan. And that Hunter and Liam are obsessed with you.”

I huff. “It’s not her business.”

“I have some terrible for news for you. She’s your mom—she’s going to make it her business. And you need to come home soon. We all miss you here. You can’t leave me too long with Devyn.”

I chuckle. “She’s teaching you patience. She’s like a mini-you; now you know what I have to deal with.”

A distant beeping sounds on the other end of the line.

“Oh, fuck me,” Skylar murmurs. “The oven just went off. Are you going to be okay if I go?”

The faintest, slightest scent of an ocean breeze hits my nose.

Donovan.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” I say quickly. “Try to make sure Devyn gets some sleep.”

“Will do. I’ll text you.”

“K, bye.” I end the call and sit up in bed.

He’s back.

I run a hand through my hair, quickly brushing out any tangles. I’m dressed in one of Hunter’s short sleeved grey shirts and my black leggings, and that will have to do.

I don’t know when the last time I saw Donovan was, but I need to talk to him before my confidence dissipates.

I pad quickly out of my bedroom and down the hall.

I find him downstairs in the kitchen, dressed in dark jeans and a black sweater. He’s pouring himself a glass of water from the fridge when he turns to look at me, and my stomach drops.

The walls are back. He’s just as handsome as the last time I saw him, and with the dark stubble that accents his jawline, it gives him a rugged look.

But the light behind his icy eyes isn’t there.

That’s when it hits me.

I haven’t seen him in seven days.

He was only with me the first day of my Heat, and after that, it was all Liam and Hunter.

“You should be asleep.” His voice, a deep, rich baritone, sends shivers down my spine.

“Did you just get home?” I ask, crossing my arms. “Where were you?”

He places the glass on the marble island in front of him. “Working.”

“You have an office here.” I swallow, hating that I sound needy.

I just want to know why he stayed away.

His throat bobs. “There were…distractions.”

My face flames. I want to push him. I want to call him out, but then I remember…

He’s not really my boyfriend.

It’s all in some stupid contract, one that I’m ready to rip up.

But I stuff my feelings down and nod curtly. “Right. Well, that makes sense. Work is important.”

You’re a distraction to him. You’re not important to him.

The words dance around in my head as shame overwhelms me.

He nods, his fingers running over the rim of the glass. “You should get some sleep,” he says, his tone softer.

We both stand awkwardly in the kitchen, maintaining eye contact.

Donovan’s scent is…off.

It still calls to me, delicious and welcoming, but there’s a note of something sour.

He clears his throat and finally breaks eye contact.

“I missed you,” I tell him honestly. “It’s good to see you.”

His eyes dart back to mine in surprise.

Does not believe that I could miss him? That I could enjoy his company?

I invited him into my nest.

Doesn’t he know what that means?

He shakes his head and rakes a hand through his hair, messing up his perfectly styled dark locks.

He’s the most handsome man I’ve ever seen, and also the most impossible to read.

And at five in the morning, it’s not the time to attempt to do it.

“Sleep well,” I say, turning and heading down the hallway before I say something stupid.

But I’m not even to the foyer before I’m cornered against a wall, light blue eyes gazing into mine.

He cups my face in his hands and kisses me softly. I freeze in his hold, my mouth parting in surprise as he tastes me. But it’s over before I can reciprocate, and he steps back, his oceanic scent swirling around me.

“Sleep well,” he echoes.

I feel the ghost of his kiss on my lips until I fall asleep.