Chapter 4
4
LIAM
The painting is for her.
Even if I never give it to her, it will belong to her, always.
I observe my work, frowning as I stare at the canvas.
I’m in the studio in our pack house, avoiding Donovan while I do my best to put my emotions into art.
I’m acting like a lovesick teenager, and I don’t know how to stop.
Not being near her makes me feel sick, and she’s not even my mate.
But my thoughts are April, April, April .
And even though we’re not tied together, even though I haven’t bitten her gland and marked her…
I still feel like we belong together.
Even if she’s not mine, I’m hers.
You’re feeling too much.
You’re too much.
Donovan clears his throat and stands in the open doorway to the studio, and I turn to face him.
My pack leader has dark circles under his eyes and looks like he hasn’t been sleeping properly.
He looks a wreck.
But I know better than to push him.
“Is everything okay?” I ask anyway.
“They were supposed to be back last night,” he says lowly, his hands in his pockets.
Hunter took April to the studio, and while I wish I was the first one to do it, I’m glad he did.
That place is special to the three of us, and I know he’ll take care of her there.
I shrug and turn my attention back to the painting. “They spent the night,” I murmur. “I’m not surprised.”
The piece is more abstract than I usually create. The outline of a human heart is sketched in the background and covered by chaotic slashes, with splashes of muted yellow and lavender light underneath.
It’s the chaos in my head and heart, and April represents the splashes of light.
I frown.
I absolutely cannot give this to her.
It’s…macabre, to say the least.
Donovan is still behind me, though, his scent muted.
I turn to face him and raise an eyebrow. “It’s okay to be jealous,” I say quietly. “As long as you don’t let it affect your relationship with her.”
But something is off about him. I haven’t seen him like this in years.
It’s like he’s mourning something he hasn’t truly lost.
But he scoffs and shakes his head. “Jealous,” he repeats lowly. “Do I seem jealous to you?”
The bitterness in his tone combined with the haunted look in his eyes tells me yes, he seems jealous.
And I’m tired of it.
April is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. To all of us.
Why can’t he see that?
“You’re acting like somebody died,” I snarl at him. “You’re not acting like a leader. Ever since her Heat, you’ve been sulking and feeling sorry for yourself. This should be one of the happiest times of our life. We found her, Donovan. We found her.”
His expression darkens.
I sound like an asshole, I know. I try not to be one, but when he acts like this …
We found our mate.
How does he not realize it?
“Get your shit together,” I tell him, not caring how hypocritical I sound, since I’m constantly trying to get mine together. “And apologize to her.”
He cocks an eyebrow. “Apologize for what?”
“For bailing on her during her Heat. For…whatever this is,” I motion with my hand to him. “If you ruin this for us...if you end up hurting her because of it…I’ll never fucking forgive you.”
I hate talking like this. My hands shake with rage and fear because I despise conflict. I’m usually the peacekeeper between Hunter and Donovan, deescalating what I can.
But I won’t lose April.
She understands me. She gets me.
And she’s granted all of us more patience than we deserve.
“The contract was a stupid idea,” I continue, venom lacing my voice. “You were too scared to actually go after her, so you looped us all into this so you wouldn’t have to face your feelings. You’re an asshole .”
I swallow.
If Donovan is taken aback, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he crosses his arms and leans against the doorway to the studio, never breaking my gaze. “We needed someone for the wedding,” he says coldly. “And for a few events before that. No one asked you to fall for her, Liam. And frankly, that’s not my problem.”
I stare at him incredulously as panic thrums through my veins. “You were there during her Heat. You helped clean her nest and prepared her food. What are you talking about? You’ve been just as protective as us this whole time.”
His face is impassive and he’s still as stone.
I try one last time with him, ignoring the pounding in my heart.
“We could be a family.”
I barely murmur the words, but they’re there.
And Donovan knows the gravity of what I said.
His jaw ticks, and he opens his mouth to say something, but the front door opens.
I’m overwhelmed by the scent of warm vanilla, and I know the conversation is over.
It’s my time with April, and I plan to make the most of it.
Donovan can sulk or be distant all he wants, as long as he doesn’t ruin this for us.
And when April greets me, her eyes warm and a genuine smile on her face, my anxiety dissipates.
“A picnic?” she asks, laughing. “Really?”
“Why not?” I spread the plaid blanket on the grass and place the whisker basket on top of it. “I mean, is this okay?”
I start to doubt myself. She deserves more than a picnic. Anyone could pack food and go to a park?—
“Liam. It’s more than okay.” She sits on the blanket cross legged and looks ahead. “This view is stunning.”
Stone County is known for being expensive, but it’s also known for having one of the best private parks in the state. The trees shoot up to the sky and surround us on all sides, and ducks tread water lazily in the lake in front of us. The sky is slightly overcast as white and grey fluffy clouds move above us.
Did I rent the place for the day? Maybe.
I didn’t even know it was possible to do that, but a generous donation to the park to fund its conservation was enough to guarantee us a few hours.
Just me and April, and no one else.
“This is one of my favorite places in the world,” I tell her, joining her on the blanket. “I come here to think, or when everything gets to be too much.”
The tranquility that washes over her face tells me this was the right choice.
Even her scent lightens. There’s the lightest aroma of floral mixed in, a new note I’ve never scented before.
It’s her joy .
“Where are your other favorite places?” she murmurs.
“The studio,” I answer. “And…wherever you are.”
It sounded better in my head, not cheesy and pathetic.
But it’s true—I won’t lie to her about that.
Her presence calms me and quiets some of the noise in my mind.
April turns to me, her eyes bright and her smile soft. “You make me happy,” she whispers. “So unbelievably happy.”
My heart soars, and I lean in to kiss her.
Kissing her is as easy as breathing. My lips brush her soft ones, and I inhale her scent, my inner Alpha stirring to life.
I make her happy.
I make her happy.
The woman that’s been through hell and back, but somehow still carries on.
I deepen the kiss, caressing her cheek until she moans into my mouth.
Perfect.
“I’ll never stop wanting to make you happy,” I promise her as we pull away. “If you’ll let me.”
She smiles. “How do you always know the right things to say? Seriously, what is with you?”
I shake my head and chuckle. “I don’t know. Is it working on you?”
She answers me with another kiss, and I hum against her lips. My hand reaches out and I trail my fingertips down her neck to the top of her sweater where her mating gland sits underneath.
I try to fight the traitorous thoughts that fill my mind.
I could bite her right now.
She said I make her happy, right?
Wouldn’t it make sense to just sink my teeth into her skin?—
I banish that train of thought.
When— if she ever wanted that, it would be her choice one hundred percent.
I want everything with her.
I would love to know every little thing about her, to gather bit and pieces of everything April and store them to my memory.
And I know that’s intense.
But I can’t seem to stop?—
“Get out of your head,” she whispers against my lips. “And come back to me.”
With a growl, I push her onto her back, and she huffs a delighted laugh when I bring my mouth to her neck, biting and sucking the delicious skin there.
“You taste like cookies,” I half chuckle, half groan to her, and she giggles.
She fucking giggles , the sound so beautiful and melodic that I struggle to not confess my feelings to her, to word vomit every lovesick thought I have of her.
Instead, I keep my mouth busy.
She arches her back as I touch her, my hand pulling the collar of her sweater aside while the other trails down her stomach. She flinches as I graze my fingers along her navel, and I realize with delight that she’s ticklish.
“Wait…Liam…” she breathes, and I freeze my movements. “What if someone sees?”
I lean on my forearms and look at her, smirking. “The park is all ours for a few hours.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Wait—you rented out the park ?”
The surprise in her eyes makes me second guess my decision, and my confidence starts to wane.
Stupid, lovesick boy.
Pathetic.
“I did,” I say slowly. “They accepted a donation. It will help the ducks,” I sputter, unsure of what else to say.
Then, she barks out a laugh. “As long as it helps the ducks,” she mutters. She runs a hand through my hair, tugging at my scalp, and a content purr rumbles through my chest.
My cock has grown painfully hard, and I adjust the weight on my forearms, hoping she doesn’t notice the bulge in my jeans.
I have the urge to steal her away and hide her from Donovan and Hunter.
I would worship her. I would be so good to her if she would just let me love her?—
“Liam.” Her breathless voice snaps me out of my thoughts. “Touch me.”
I groan in response.
She doesn’t have to tell me twice.