Chapter 7
7
APRIL
After Hunter and Liam went to bed, I couldn’t stop thinking about Liam’s past.
His story broke my heart—the kindest, most empathetic man I ever met has a family that hates him.
So, I found a bottle of wine and sat outside, lost in thought, until Donovan showed up and I couldn’t hold my resentment and hurt in anymore.
I don’t remember much of what I said to him.
Only that somehow I ended up in bed.
I also forget that white wine gives me a damn headache, and the sunlight streaming into my room doesn’t help it.
I sit up and groan.
I still don’t know what’s going on with Donovan—but anxiety churns in my stomach, and mixed with the headache, I feel nauseous.
And tonight is another charity event.
I need to bring my A game and play the part of dutiful Omega.
Thankfully, I spot a glass of water and aspirin on the nightstand, which I assume are from Donovan.
Maybe he doesn’t hate me after all.
But the feeling that something is inherently off only grows, even after aspirin kicks in.
I head downstairs to grab breakfast and am greeted by Liam in the kitchen.
I was hoping to run back upstairs before anyone saw me with my messy hair and unwashed face, but Liam looks at me like I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
“Good morning,” he says, grinning, pouring me a glass of orange juice. He knows it’s my favorite, and I can’t keep the smile off my face as he hands me the glass.
Sweet, doting Liam, who smells like eucalyptus and a hint of mint.
Still, that undercurrent of anxiety stays with me, even as he pulls me into his arms and presses a kiss to my head. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
I huff in his hold. “It’s nothing, Liam, really.”
“Wait. April.” He reaches down to cup my face in his hands, and his green eyes soften. “What’s wrong?” he repeats softly.
I bite my lip.
I don’t want to worry him.
“I’m fine,” I promise him.
“You don’t have to hide from me,” he says, his brow slightly furrowed. “Don’t…don’t do that.”
He swallows, his throat bobbing as he looks at me.
But how can I explain to him what’s going on inside me?
I think Donovan doesn’t want a relationship with me, but you and Hunter do. How will that work?
Hey, want to just keep having threesomes until Donovan gets his act together?
No. None of that would make any sense to say.
“Babe, are you okay?” Hunter’s voice sounds behind me, his rich, spicy scent filling the air.
I snap out of it.
“Of course.” I move out of Liam’s hold, who looks at me warily. “I’m just worried about tonight.”
I turn to Hunter, who scoffs. “Baby, you’ll be fine. Worried about what?” He takes a step forward and wraps his arms around my waist, then brings his lips to my ear. “Worried I can’t keep my mouth to myself?” he whispers, quiet enough for only me to hear.
I ignore the way my cunt throbs at his words. He grips me tightly, and tingles race up my spine.
“You have nothing to worry about,” Liam assures me. “You’re always perfect to us.”
But who is us ?
Does that include Donovan?
If it doesn’t, then this is still temporary.
I wouldn’t ask them to split the pack for me.
Even if I wanted to…I would never destroy the foundation of Pack Axton like that.
“Hey.” Hunter gently nudges my chin to get me to look at him. His golden brown eyes search mine as he frowns. “What aren’t you telling us?”
My face must be giving me away.
I’ve always had a good poker face when it comes to my emotions.
Skylar’s the open book, not me.
Yet somehow, these Alphas see right through me.
But I can’t tell them about my worries when it comes to Donovan.
I don’t want to cause any more tension than I have already between the three of them.
You’re not worth it , the anxious voice inside of me says.
“Nothing,” I lie, softening my gaze as I look at Hunter. “Like I said, just nerves. I’m still not used to these events.”
He nods. “You’ll do amazing. You always do, babe.”
And when he pulls me into a hug, his purr calming my nerves, I allow myself to believe him.
My dress is breathtaking.
I send a pic to both Devyn and Skylar in our newly formed group chat—and both of them lose their minds.
It’s a strapless black velvet cocktail dress that ends at my calves and hugs my body like a second skin.
I feel incredible in it—and it’s hard to stay insecure as I study my reflection in the mirror.
Pack Axton has been doing wonders for me.
My light brown eyes are bright, no longer dull from the past months of my captivity. My skin has color again, my cheeks rosy and my lips plump and pink.
I look…alive.
And in this dress, I feel like I can conquer anything.
The bad feeling in my chest is still there, though—but with every step down the stairs, it begins to fade.
And when Donovan’s eyes meet mine in the foyer, I watch him take in a breath.
For a moment, I see a vulnerable man who looks at me as if I can solve all his problems. His icy eyes are gentle as his gaze falls to my face, then his eyes trail down my body, his lips slightly parted.
He smells like the ocean, the familiar salty, woodsy scent making my head spin. Dressed in a black suit with a light blue tie that matches his eyes, he’s just as delicious to look at as he is to scent.
“You look exquisite,” he murmurs. “Are you ready? The others are waiting outside.”
He holds out a hand to me, but I pause as the bubble of anxiety returns inside me.
Maybe it’s not the best timing, but I have to say something.
If Donovan’s willing, I want this to be more about the contract.
I want him, Hunter, and Liam.
I would be willing to try to be in a relationship with him.
Baby steps.
I need him to know that. Maybe if I tell him how I feel, and we’re all on the same page, the four of us could be happy together.
So, I stare at his outstretched hand, but don’t take it. “I…I wanted to talk to you quickly. About the contract.”
He drops his hand. “Later. We need to go.”
But I catch the flicker of emotion in his eyes, and I push.
“No. It will just take a moment.”
He shakes his head curtly, but I continue.
“I want to try,” I breathe, and Donovan goes still. “After the contract’s over, I would like…” I swallow, realizing how ridiculous I sound, “…I would like to really try to be with you. With all of you. You’ve made me happy. I’ve enjoyed my time with you.”
There’s a moment of silence. Donovan looks at me, his expression blank, as if nothing I said resonated with him.
Dread builds in me. We continue to stare at each other, my stomach dropping as he doesn’t respond to my words.
But his scent intensifies.
The ocean swirls around me, so potent and rich that all I can scent is Alpha.
My words affected him, no matter how much he wants to act like they didn’t.
I take a step closer to him until he’s looking down at me, his pupils wide and my breathing heavy.
“Liam told me he chooses me,” I whisper as Donovan’s eyes fall to my lips. “And I choose him, Hunter, and you, Donovan.”
There. I said it.
I inhale deeply and am almost knocked over by his scent.
My nipples pebble under the dress and goosebumps run across my body as I breathe Donovan in.
My mind grows foggy, so overwhelmed by his Alpha pheromones that I have half a mind to lift my dress and let him have his way with me on the stairs.
I lick my lips, and a low growl sounds from him. “April—” he starts, his voice strained, but then the sound of a horn blaring snaps me out of my stupor. He grabs my hand, and before I can protest, he leads me out the front door and into the waiting car.
My head swirls, shocked at the way his pheromones affected me so deeply and quickly.
He can pretend he’s not affected by me, but his scent gives him away
It also means that he does want me, and I worried for nothing.
I perch on Hunter’s lap in the limo while his fingers run lazy circles over my thighs. He purrs for me, whispering in my ear and nipping at my earlobe.
“You smell like Donovan,” he croons. “Did he finally get that stick out of his ass?”
I bark out a laugh, feeling Donovan’s eyes on me from the opposite side of the seats.
Baby steps.
I told him how I felt and what I wanted.
His reaction told me he felt the same way.
Maybe, just maybe, it will be okay.
“So, Donovan. Don. Donny .”
I stop in the hallway, nursing my glass of sparkling wine.
This charity auction was livelier than the last one, and I ended up with Liam and Hunter on the dancefloor, laughing and giggling the night away.
Donovan did not join us, but kept busy chatting with associates and everything else I know he hates to do.
And now, one of the patrons has him in a corner, talking to him animatedly.
Donovan doesn’t see me. Liam and Hunter are at the opposite end of the hotel bar, while I’m near the back of one of the banquet rooms, watching Donovan suffer through enduring a conversation with a middle-aged Beta man.
His back is to me, and I’m about to save him from the annoying patron when his words give me pause.
“So, Donny, what are you doing with that Omega? Little Miss Nobody? Pack Axton can do better than that, can’t they?”
My heart stops, insecurities making my blood freeze.
I hold my breath.
But Donovan’s bitter, humorless chuckle confirms my fears.
“You’re right. She’s not here for the long run with us, I assure you.”
I don’t recognize that tone from him.
The Beta laughs obnoxiously. “I knew it! You’re terrible , Donovan! It seems like your packmates adore her, though.”
I want to run, but I stay frozen in place, waiting for Donovan’s next words to slice me open.
“Liam will fall in love with any Omega that bothers to be nice to him, and Hunter just likes having the attention on him. ‘Adore’ is a strong word for either of them. We’re just having fun.”
I lean against the wall as my hands shake.
“Well, I doubt you know how to have fun , but sure,” the Beta replies. “And I’m assuming she knows that? That you have no plans for the future with her?”
No plans for the future.
Of course, they have no plans for me.
Little Miss Nobody.
But I stay against the wall, unable to move, as Donovan rips my heart out of my chest with his words.
“Of course not. Someone like her doesn’t belong with us.”
And the Beta man just laughs, like Donovan’s told the funniest joke of all time. “Oh, man, Axton, you are cold! ”
Donovan doesn’t laugh, though.
In fact, the only thing I hear is the mocking laughter of the Beta man, delighted by Donovan’s words that destroyed.
I unfreeze from my spot and start walking, my eyes blurry with tears and my chest tight with shame. I head back down the hallway and toward the hotel bar, my mind swirling.
I was an idiot.
My gut feeling was right.
Donovan didn’t want me, not in the way I wanted him.
And what he said about his packmates…
Was I actually special to Liam? Would Hunter have been obsessed with anyone Donovan brought home?
My chest hurts, shame and guilt mixing with fear.
I was an idiot.
A stupid fucking idiot that can’t even follow the rules of a contract.
I head past the bar and out of the hotel. I fish my phone out of my clutch, ready to call a ride back to the packhouse, then back to Isleton.
I can’t be around them. I can’t even look at them?—
“April?”
I turn to see Donovan heading toward me, his brow etched with concern. “April?—”
“ You ,” I snarl, surprised at the anger that comes out of me. “You arrogant, self-absorbed, lying sack of shit ?—”
“April, stop.” He moves closer, and I step away from.
“Take one step closer and I make a scene out here and ruin your precious reputation,” I spit.
Donovan clenches his jaw, then nods. “Very well.” He looks at the phone in my hand. “What are you doing?”
“Getting a ride back to the packhouse, then leaving.”
He narrows his eyes. “The contract isn’t over.”
I bark out a laugh of disbelief. “No, it’s not. Don’t worry, I won’t be backing out of your events, even though I don’t belong in your world.”
I’m teetering between rage and shame, anger and despair.
Donovan sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean for you to hear that. I’m sorry.”
“Are you sorry that I heard it, or sorry because it’s not true?”
I already know the answer; I don’t know why I’m torturing myself.
He shakes his head. “April?—”
“You made me believe it wasn’t about the contract anymore,” I insist, and he flinches. “I felt it with you. Why—why would you say those awful things?” My voice cracks. “Why are you like this, Donovan? What’s wrong with you ?”
I realize how ridiculous I sound. He could easily throw those words back in my face if he wanted.
I’m the one that’s in therapy because I can’t even handle a locked door.
He sighs and looks away. “You’re not good for the pack, April,” he says simply.
I blink.
The words hurt. They hurt so badly.
I want to fall onto the pavement and disappear.
But I stay frozen, staring into Donovan’s eyes in disbelief.
Baby steps.
I can take baby steps.
“That’s not true,” I say quietly. “I’ve been good for all three of you. I am good. I am a good person .”
It’s starting to rain. The air smells like wet pavement and Donovan, and my legs feel like they might give out if I stay near him any longer.
“I’ll call you a ride,” he says, completely ignoring my statement.
“Fuck your ride,” I snap, my voice shaky. “I’m calling my own.”
I head away from the hotel, ignoring Donovan’s snarl as he calls my name. I freeze, wanting to turn around and obey him.
His commanding tone washes over me, but still, I walk on, my heel catching on the sidewalk.
I almost trip, adding insult to injury.
I don’t know how long I walk, storming off like I’m in some awful romantic comedy.
It’s all so embarrassing.
If what Donovan said about Liam and Hunter is true…
Then they’ll have no trouble finding someone else.
Someone that’s not a nobody.
Do not spiral. Save it for later.
Save it for Skylar and Devyn.
I text my best friend, telling her I’ll be back in Isleton in a few hours, not caring how expensive ordering a ride back from the packhouse will be.
Especially when I open the rideshare app and see the obscene number of credits that somebody deposited into my account.
I shake my head, unable to understand Donovan’s contradictions.
But I realize as my driver pulls up that it doesn’t matter anymore.
I’m not good for the pack.
I pack my things as quickly as I can and ignore the texts from Liam and Hunter asking where I am.
I want to get out of here without seeing them because I know the moment I witness the hurt on Liam’s face, I’ll break down.
He and Hunter would fight for me, and it would make things worse in the end.
I peel off my dress and kick off my shoes in my bedroom—but it’s not really my bedroom, is it?
I can’t believe how stupid I was. I knew going in that this would be messy, but I still did it.
I still allowed myself to be happy and to enjoy board games, painting in their studio, and baking cookies with them.
I ignore Skylar’s calls. I can’t handle talking to her right now.
I need the quiet of a ridiculously long car ride to prepare for her, Devyn, and my mother.
Taking one last look around the bedroom, suitcase in hand, I pause at what lies on my— the —vanity.
It’s the glass rose that Liam gave me when we met. The gesture that meant so much, because actual flowers die, but his gift was permanent.
I stare at it; my fingers itching to grab it and take it with me.
But my phone dings, announcing my ride is here.
I turn and leave the gift on the vanity.