31. Chapter Thirty One
Chapter Thirty One
A chill seeps into my skin as I stare up at the cement ceiling above me. I don’t know how long I have been in this cell for.
Time has evaded me in this prison.
My heat was all but over as quickly as it began. They refused to mate me until my mate marks have been completely dissolved. They already succeeded with our bonds. A bullet to each of my mates ensured that.
I guess it's the only thing that has saved me from being raped by them. I could tell that each time my scent spiked, the hold they had on themselves threatened to snap.
My body has been drained dry of tears. My sobs are just noise now.
They are my only company as they lull me to sleep each night.
My nightmares return, filing what was once peaceful nights with terror as I watch my mates be shot over and over again.
The only company - aside from my tears - is Jaiden who brings me down my meals three times a day. It seems he has also been demoted to ensuring that I am bathed every day.
They may have me locked in a cage like a dog, but they refuse to have me smelling like one.
Make it make sense .
For the first few visits, Jaiden copped my verbal wrath. I caught him wincing at my vitriol more than once but it did nothing to satisfy me.
Eventually the words faded, turning into silence.
A key turning the lock to my cage notifies me that it's shower time, again. Rising from the cot in the corner of the room, I face the Alpha. He doesn’t say anything as he steps aside allowing me to walk through the door. His only insurance to ensure that I don’t run is his grip around my wrist. Which is pointless.
Why would I run?
What is out there for me anymore?
The only people that I would want to run to are gone.
Privacy is not something given when you are a captive. I learnt that in my first days when my clothes were torn from me and I was forced under the spray of water.
My body was forcefully washed making me gag from the feeling of hands that don’t belong to my Alphas roaming over me.
The Betas washing me didn’t care. Not for my fight and not for my body's anonymity.
Jaiden’s eyes burn as he watches me from his position at the door. Not once has he inappropriately touched me through this entire ordeal.
He has just been a silent watcher.
I allow the water to wash over me as I stand under the spray completely.
I stare at the drain wishing I could plug it. For the room to fill and take what is left of me away.
There’s no point in taking my next breath.
So I don’t .
I let all of the air out of my lungs and refuse to take a breath.
It's only moments before I can feel them scream at me. The pain is immense but not more than the pain of not having my men with me.
“Kennedy?” I hear a voice ask through the noise of the water coming from the shower head.
“Kennedy?! What are you doing?” I hear the voice become panicked.
“Kennedy!” The voice shouts as I am pulled out of the water. I still refuse myself breathe as my surroundings continue to go fuzzy. My lungs riot against my refusal for air but I am beyond the point of no return.
A sharp sting against my cheek has me sucking in air that I refused myself. The right side of my brain forces me to pull in air greedily as I clear my eyes.
Jaiden is staring down at me. His hair is dripping water from where he obviously pulled me out of the shower.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, Kennedy? Why the fuck would you hold your breath under the shower like that for? Do you want to die? What did you think was going to happen? Huh?”
Jaiden’s questions pepper me like bullets as I stare up at him. His face is wild as he looks down at me.
“I can’t!” I shout, making the array of questions coming from his lips, silence, “I can’t continue to breathe when I know they never will again.”
My tears roll down my face completely out of my will. Turning, I hide my face in Jaiden’s tee as I let my heart break.
“Why would you do that to yourself?” Jaiden’s voice is a whisper as he rubs my naked back in comfort .
“My life is nil and void if they aren’t here with me. Do you know what it's like to wake and not feel them in your chest? The pain that comes with every breath that I know I don’t deserve.” I turn my head back to look at Jaiden, “Life isn’t worth it without them.”
I watch as his face crumbles as he stares down at me. Something comes over him as he forces me to sit. He keeps his hold on my shoulders as he looks me deep in the eye. It's unsettling, making my already vulnerable position feel even more dire.
“You need to cut this pity party bullshit, Kennedy. I have been watching you for too long to know that this isn’t you.”
His words startle me as I give him a questioning look. The thought of someone, even him watching me, sets me on edge.
“I’m not a Mullen Alpha, Kennedy. I am undercover. An agent from OPA.”
I stare at Jaiden, my face surely comical after his revelation.
“OPA? As in the Omega Protection Agency?” I don’t know why I need confirmation. I already know that is the exact organisation that he is talking about.
He nods, “Yes, Kennedy. You have been on our radar for years now. It has been near impossible for us to try and get to you. Your father did everything he could to keep you from the outside world. When Charles, Ronan and Trent began to show interest in you, I knew that was our chance to jump. I was already undercover in their pack for a separate situation and I knew I couldn’t let you go.”
My mind reels over the information, “Wh...what? I don’t...”
Jaiden shakes his head, chuckling as he rubs my shoulder before leaning back and grabbing a towel that had fallen to the ground. Wrapping it around my shoulders, he gives me the coverage I had been needing.
He doesn’t move to turn the shower off, allowing steam to fill the room. I know that there is a camera placed in the corner of the room that has no doubt fogged up by now.
It's a tactical move, one I’m thankful for.
“Your Alphas aren’t dead, Kennedy.”
His words drop like a bomb set out to destroy me.
I can’t help but laugh, “Wow, Jaiden. That’s a sick fucking joke. I know I’m in one hell of a state right now but I’m not delusional. I know what I feel.”
I point to my empty chest.
Shaking his head, he helps me to stand even though I am unwilling for a moment.
“I’m not lying to you. There’s no reason for me to. The reason that you can’t feel your Alphas is because I injected you with a serum that numbs the bond between mates. It's one that is slowly dissolving the marks on your skin. Normally, it’s used on Omegas who come to us to escape abusive packs. But then Mullen’s got their hands on it. By then, there was nothing that I could do.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I raise my eyebrow at him. He at least has the decency to look sheepish.
“I didn’t have much of a choice but to follow orders, Kennedy. If I didn’t, they would have known that something was up and my plans would have failed before they even began. Why do you think it is me down here every single time you need to be fed or showered? They think it's great that they have been able to ‘order’ me into being your watcher. ”
His face turns, showing a hint of glee, “What they don’t know is they have fed right into my trap.”
I nod, understanding what he is saying but all I can seem to go back to is the fact that my Alphas are alive.
Fuck.
Tears threaten me but I refuse to let them fall. I have no doubt what is about to be asked of me is going to see me needing to be strong. I need to do it for them. To get back to where I have always belonged.
“I’m sorry for the part that I have played in all of this, Kennedy. If there was a way that we could have avoided this, I would have done everything in my power but unfortunately, these things can’t be prevented in every case.”
I nod, “I understand that. Thank you for doing your best to protect me.”
I chew my lip going silent as I start rolling over everything in my head. Before I get too lost, Jaiden hands me clean clothes, turning his back so I am able to get dressed in privacy for once now that the ruse is up.
Once I am done, I clear my throat to get his attention again. He raises an eyebrow and I know he is ready for my list of questions.
“What happens now?”
“For now, I need you to sit tight and get ready. I know that is so much easier said than done but your boys are out there making waves. The Mullen pack has a lot of assurances set up in place to protect where we are and even for big players like the Duran Mafia, it's no easy task.”
“I can do that.” I nod as I begin formulating a plan for myself.
What would Ledger want me to do ?
Jaiden leaves me after handing me my dinner for the night. Once the water was turned off, his demeanor changed. If I didn’t know better, it would have given me whiplash.
It helps to reassure me that his words are true. That he is one of the good guys. That my men are coming to save me.
God, it feels good to know that. I haven’t stopped berating myself for my bullshit act in the shower. What the fuck was I expecting to happen? That holding my breath would actually kill me? Now that I have the ability to think logically without pain and heartache surrounding my every thought, I realize just how stupid I was being.
All I would have done is passed out. Maybe hit my head on the way down and woken with a killer headache and regrets a mile long.
I can also sympathise with myself. While I know my Alphas are out there, I still can’t deny how real the hurt I had felt was. It was blinding. I can still feel that same pain lingering. It hasn’t completely gone. I don’t think it will until I can feel them again. Until I can wrap my arms around them. Hold them tight.
I devour my meal as quickly as I can knowing I need as much sleep as possible. Laying down on the uncomfortable threadbare cot, I push away thoughts as soon as they come to me. I attempt to clear my brain.
Tomorrow I will allow myself to process the thoughts that are knocking on the door inside my head demanding to be heard. All of the what ifs. The doubts. The pain that inevitably goes along with them.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow I will wake up and face my demons. Head on.