Knot the Alphas’ Feral Omega

10. Lilah

10

Lilah

I walked up to the packhouse just as the sun was setting. The days were already starting to shorten as September wore on, and it would only be a matter of time before the shadows were long at three in the afternoon, and I was digging out the hand-knitted sweater my nana had given me before she passed away.

But today, the goosebumps that had risen on the back of my arms and neck weren’t from the cold. Nerves coursed through me, and my fingers curled into tighter fists at my sides as I drew level with the front door.

The house was stunning, now that I was looking at it in the daylight. I’d barely gotten a glimpse of it when Killian had brought me here last time, dark as it was, and I hadn’t thought to inspect it closely when he had been taking me home, either. But it was absolutely gorgeous—a fully restored Colonial that was clearly meant for a family , not just a trio of bachelors looking for a woman to bring home and share.

Not that there was anything wrong with that, if it had been what they were looking for. But Killian had made it more than clear what his intentions were towards me, and I couldn’t deny the pull inside me that begged for me to give into them, no matter how sudden and impulsive it seemed.

Even Eddie had encouraged me when I’d finally gotten the guts to spill the beans to her. She’d stared at me with her jaw dropped, sprawled out on my bed as I detailed what had happened at Fracture, and had, in her very Eddie way, asked me why I had come home at all when I had “three hotties” willing to do anything I wanted.

I didn’t think things were quite that simple, especially regarding this pack, but the sentiment had made me laugh, anyway.

And ultimately, she was right. I couldn’t deny the pull I felt for Killian, Oliver, and Emmett. All that mattered was finding out what the pull was ...and how it could make all four of us happy.

I took a deep breath, then lifted my hand to knock firmly on the door of the packhouse.

I was only left hanging for a few seconds before I heard footsteps on the other side of the door. Oliver was on the other side when it opened, not Killian, as I’d expected.

“Hi,” I said, suddenly shy. I tucked my hands into the pockets of my jeans for lack of anything better to do with them.

Oliver regarded me warily. He wore another button-down shirt and slacks, though his feet weren’t bare this time. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, revealing the deliciously muscled lines of his forearms, and his scent hit my nose like a train after a second of us standing there, staring at each other awkwardly.

It took everything inside of me not to moan aloud at his sweet and tart scent, and the way his nostrils flared and his jaw flexed suggested that he was feeling similarly.

“Hi,” he finally said, his voice low and rough. He stepped to the side and gestured me in. “Please. Come in.”

My shoulder brushed against him as I walked into the house, and the whimper I let out couldn’t be contained. My wolf squirmed inside of me, begging for me to strip down and shift to show my Prime Alpha exactly the kind of omega he was welcoming into his packhouse.

I shoved the instincts down, tucking them firmly in the back of my mind where they couldn’t bother me. My wolf had been more and more difficult to ignore in the days since I met Killian and the rest of the pack, and I’d caught myself partially shifting my eyes and ears more often than I was proud to admit. I was a grown woman; I had matured past accidental partial shifts years ago.

And yet, my ears were tingling with the urge to extend so that I could hear better, and my nails were sharper than they should have been when I clenched my hands into fists.

It was embarrassin g...but I couldn’t deny that I wanted to show Oliver all of me—every messy, embarrassing part that made me want to duck my head and bare my throat in submission.

“Killian and Emmett are finishing up in the kitchen, and the dining room is already set,” Oliver said quietly, the click of the door behind us almost painfully loud.

I nodded, feeling him approach behind me. “Okay,” I said softly.

I felt the puff of his breath against the back of my neck, and it didn’t take an empath to feel the tension that was radiating off him in waves. I swallowed, part of me aching to glance over my shoulder and meet his intense blue eyes to know what he was thinking. The man was nowhere near as mysterious as he thought he was, and I knew if I looked, I would be able to see his every thought written all over his face.

I didn’t, though—not because I wasn’t curious, but because I didn’t think my inner omega could handle it if he were considering rejecting me.

He had agreed that we could try to see where things would go with us.

That didn’t mean that trying would be successful.

The thought of failing with this pack and never seeing any of them again soured in my stomach, and I lifted my chin as I walked into the dining room. The table was beautifully set with porcelain plates, shining silverware, and lit candles in the middle. The overhead lighting was dimmed, giving everything a very romantic feel.

Killian wanted this to work out so badly. I could feel it in every detail of the room, in the very atmosphere, as I heard low male voices echoing quietly from the kitchen.

I wanted to give that to him. I wanted this to work, too...desperately.

“Here.” Oliver’s voice was strangely subdued, and he pulled out one of the chairs near the head of the table for me to sit in—the chair to the very right of the head, to be specific.

My stomach flipped as I sat down. I hadn’t been around many bonded packs but knew the social hierarchy like any other wolf. The omega—the pack’s mate—always sat to the right of the Prime Alpha.

I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from speaking, instead looking down at my lap and reveling in the tiny burst of joy Oliver’s gesture had given me. I would have thought that it was casual, something that he did without thinking, but the way that Oliver looked down at me when he rounded the edge of the table, his hands tucked firmly in his pockets and his eyes gleaming gold...

No. He knew what he was doing and what he was offering me.

It gave me hope, and I smiled at Oliver, reaching out and touching the chair at the head. “Sit?”

I kept my voice deliberately soft, not wanting to scare him away. Oliver didn’t seem the type to be easily spooked, which made it fascinating that he seemed so wary of me. Killian had told me a tiny piece of the history they shared as a pack, and I was sure that the loss of their packmate had different impacts on all of them.

I wanted to know everything about each of them—who they were, what they wanted, what they believed in. I wanted to take every bit of them into myself and make it my own, to fill them up in turn and give them the support they needed for us to go forward in life as a family.

Oliver swallowed, and after a moment, he obeyed my request and sat. He didn’t take his eyes off me for a moment, but I didn’t let his wariness deter me this time. I reached out and gently touched his knee, smoothing my hand over the soft wool of his pants and then patting him, the contact—as innocent as it was—zinging up my arm and making my hand tingle.

“I’m not going to bite,” I teased, smiling.

Too late, I realized that my words could have been chosen more tactfully when a burst of arousal warmed the air between the two of us and made both of our nostrils flare. Oliver let out a low growl and leaned close, his eyes gold and his posture suddenly predatory.

“No, you don’t, do you, omega?” he murmured. He reached out, his hand only hesitating for a moment before he grasped a lock of my hair, letting the strands slip through his fingers. “That’s my job.”

A low purr filled the air between us, and too late, I realized that the sound was coming from me. The realization startled me so badly that the purr immediately stopped, and Oliver cocked his head to the side, a small smile spreading across his mouth.

Before either of us could comment on it, though, the door to the kitchen swung open, and Killian and Emmett entered the room, each holding several plates and balancing others on their forearms like they were skilled servers in a restaurant.

“Dinner!” Killian announced.

Oliver leaned back, and the moment we had been sharing was broken as Killian and Emmett arranged the food on the table. There were more than a dozen dishes, with meat and sides galore, and I couldn’t stop myself from giggling a little as Killian came around to my side and took the seat next to me.

“You went overboard,” I accused good-naturedly.

Killian smiled and took my plate from me, loading it up without asking me what I wanted. “No such thing for you, baby girl.”

He leaned over and planted a kiss on my cheek, and Emmett offered me a small, shy smile as he and Oliver started to serve themselves as well. Killian deposited my plate in front of me and started loading his own plate, and after a moment, I started eating.

The silence between the four of us was heavy but not uncomfortable. I could feel Killian glancing my way every few seconds, his energy happy and positive as he started eating and reached out to put his hand on top of my knee.

The contact soothed me, and I smiled at him before returning my attention to my plate. Most people might have been uncomfortable with the silence, but I spent enough evenings alone that being around others was comforting, even if it was quiet.

A sentiment that clearly wasn’t shared by the men around me.

“Oh my god, can someone say something?” Killian finally said, his voice low and hushed, as if he were afraid to be the one to break the silence.

I glanced his way, and he was staring meaningfully at Oliver, his eyebrows practically disappearing into his hairline as he did. I couldn’t stop myself from giggling a little, which seemed to break the lingering tension.

“Tell us about yourself, Lilah,” Oliver said after another moment, his voice measured. The nervous, wary energy he’d been carrying when he had led me into the dining room was gone, and he looked at me with a curious expression.

I swallowed and set my fork down. This was good—I didn’t like talking about myself, but it wasn’t fair to expect them to bring me into the pack if I was a virtual stranger, scent-match or not. “What do you want to know?”

“Tell us about your family,” Killian said innocently. I glanced his way, and there was a glint in his green eyes that was almost obscured by a glare on his glasses, but I still saw it.

I narrowed my eyes. He had a motive that I didn’t know, but he was looking at me so earnestly that I could tell he was genuine in his question.

It was only fair that I answered, even if it was one of the last things I wanted to discuss.

I clasped my hands in my lap before lifting my chin to look from Killian to Emmett and then settling on Oliver. “I’m an only child. No siblings to speak of, but I’ve been friends with my friend Eddie for as long as I can remember. Our moms used to work together, so we’ve been in each other’s lives literally since the day that we were born.” My fingers tightened against each other in an effort to stop them from trembling. “I don’t know who my father is. My mom never told me, and I’ve never cared enough to look for him. I don’t know if he knows I exist, but the fact that he never made an effort to find out about me speaks volumes, and I don’t need someone like that in my life.”

“I’m sorry for that,” Oliver said softly, his gaze never leaving my face. He reached out and gently touched my knee under the table, and Killian squeezed my other knee with his hand, lending me support.

I smiled a little. “Old news. But...” My voice wobbled a little, then broke as I let out a shaky breath. “My mom and I are really close. Her name is Katrina, and she’s my best friend.” I bit my lower lip, ignoring the familiar tears that burned at the corners of my eyes at the mention of my mother. “She has liver cancer. It’s...it’s getting worse.”

My announcement was met with a heavy silence, far heavier than it had been when we had just been settling down to eat. All three men looked at me with shocked expressions, and Killian looked pained as he squeezed my leg tightly.

“I am so sorry, baby girl,” he said, his voice tight.

I swallowed, willing back the tears that were still pricking at the corners of my eyes. Talking about my mom was difficult, which is why I generally avoided it. Besides Eddie, I didn’t have friends close enough to know about her struggles, and it wasn’t a casual dinner conversation.

But if I wanted to be a part of their pack...

“She was happy when I told her that I was designated as an omega,” I said, my voice wobbling. I offered a small smile to Oliver, who was still looking at me so intensely. “She worries that I’m going to end up alone.”

“That will never happen,” Killian suddenly said fiercely, his hand darting off my knee and catching my hand. He reached out with his other hand to turn my face towards him, and his eyes blazed gold as he looked me over. “You hear me? You are never going to be alone again, Lilah. I swear it.”

The conviction in his voice was so intense that tears prickled at the corners of my eyes again, but this time, I had nothing to say. I nodded, then carefully extracted my hand and face from his grip before patting my mouth with a napkin and standing.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” I said, my voice shaking a little. “If you’ll excuse me.”

I managed to keep it together until I left the dining room, and then tears started to slip down my cheeks as I made a beeline for the bathroom and locked myself in.

***

Oliver

Killian turned to face me the moment Lilah left the room, his expression intense as he declared, “We have to take her in, Ollie. She’s pack. You can’t tell me that you don’t feel it.”

There was such conviction in his face that it almost pained me to turn him down, but I pressed my lips together and folded my arms over my chest anyway. “You said that she wanted to take it slow, Kill. What do you want me to do? Offer to let her move in right now? She’s clearly helping to care for her sick mother while she’s in her last days. Taking her away at this point would be cruel.”

It was a weak argument, especially when I could feel my eyes itching to shift, my wolf pacing inside me and practically howling to leap out of my chair and follow Lilah out of the room. Her eyes had been so sad as she described her home life, how alone she clearly was, and all I’d wanted to do was comfort her.

She must have been so fucking lonely.

Killian cocked his head to the side, his manic expression cooling a little, turning thoughtful. “True. We could help her. One of us could always be there with her mom, or we could have her quit her job to finish taking care of Katrina before she gets too sick. It isn’t like Lilah would need to work once she’s pack, anyway.”

Emmett grimaced, and he didn’t need to speak for me to understand exactly what he was thinking.

“Somehow, I can’t imagine that Lilah is the kind of person who would take kindly to her autonomy being undermined like that,” I pointed out dryly.

Killian furrowed his brow for a moment, and frustration made his scent bitter. “We can’t just leave her, Ollie,” he finally said, his voice firm. “Going slow, all that...that’s fine. But she’s it for our pack. I know it, and you would know it, too, if you followed your wolf instead of being fucking stubborn. She belongs here, with us.”

He folded his arms over his chest and glared at me, and for a moment, I was stunned. Killian was the most volatile of our little trio, and I had never seen him stick to something with this much intensity for so long. His attention was usually easy to get and easy to lose.

The fact that Lilah had been his sole focus for so long was telling. And the fact that my wolf was begging for me to agree with him, to bite Lilah into the pack so that we could be family and she couldn’t leave...that was even more telling.

I blew out a slow breath, aware that we were running on a clock. Lilah had clearly needed a moment to get herself together, but she wouldn’t hide out in our bathroom all night. She was eventually going to come out, and the way that Killian was looking at me, he was expecting me to say something to her.

Don’t lie to yourself and say that you don’t want to.

I swallowed, dropping my gaze away from Killian’s face, looking down at my hands and then over at Emmett. His expression was somber and impassive, but I could see the glimmer of longing in his eyes that he tried to hide.

He wanted her just as badly as Killian, but his trademark stoicism wouldn’t allow him to express that with words.

I couldn’t help feeling a little ganged up on, though neither of them was saying anything further to pressure me.

They didn’t need to. The glint in Killian’s eyes told me that he knew I would give in—for the health of the pack if nothing else.

I’m sorry, Jack. I wish you were here.

I swallowed as I thought of our fallen packmate, closing my eyes for a moment before I jerked my head in a nod. “Very well,” I said, my voice a soft croak.

I had barely agreed before there was the sound of a toilet flushing down the hall and then the sink faucet running before the bathroom door opened. Lilah reappeared in the dining room doorway after a moment, her eyes a little more red and swollen than they had been when she left but otherwise looking no worse for wear.

“Sorry about that,” she said, her voice clear and steady again. She took her seat at my right again and picked up her fork, stabbing it at the scalloped potatoes Killian had loaded her plate with. Grief radiated from her, and my wolf stirred, whimpering to reach out and comfort our omega.

“You don’t need to apologize,” I said, my voice gruff and meaningful. Lilah looked up at me, offering a small, sad smile, and that, more than anything that Killian or Emmett had said—or not said—helped me make my decision.

“But,” I added, “I do have something we need to discuss with you if you’re amenable.”

She set down her fork again and nodded, folding her hands in her lap. “Okay.”

I swallowed, nerves suddenly making my stomach feel nauseated. “We... I ,” I amended. “Would like...to bite you into the pack.”

My words were stilted, far from certain, and Lilah’s brow furrowed, even as cautious hope and anxiety lit in her eyes. “You do?”

Killian cleared his throat and smiled when Lilah looked his way. “Ollie isn’t great with words,” he said gently, shooting me a mild glare before returning his attention to Lilah. “But he means to say that you’re it for us. We can feel it. And if you want to take some time to get to know us before we do the pack ceremony, if you want to wait until you feel more settled or until you can figure out a good plan with your mom, we can do that. But we want you here. In the packhouse with us, being with us.” His eyes gleamed, and he reached out for one of her hands, lifting it to press his lips to her knuckles. “Please?”

Lilah’s lips parted, and I could see the shock on her face. This was so far from what I was sure she’d planned for the evening that I was a little surprised she wasn’t getting up and running for the hills.

But I couldn’t deny that there was longing there, too. And that made my stomach flip.

She wanted us. Maybe it was just biology—maybe something more—but she wanted us.

She glanced at Emmett and then at me, the question burning in her eyes. I swallowed, and she nodded. “He’s right,” I said, my voice raspy. “Please, Lilah?”

My stomach flipped as the moment dragged on, and we waited. Lilah’s throat bobbed with a swallow, and her scent slowly changed from the bitterness of grief, growing sweet again. She glanced between the three of us one more time, and I could feel Jack’s absence heavy on my shoulder as if he were right there, pushing me forward and holding me back at the same time.

Finally, though, Lilah’s eyes settled on me again, and the smile that she offered me was sweet and brilliant. “Yes,” she whispered. “I want that too. Please.”

A breath, and then Killian let out a whoop as he reached up and pulled Lilah to him, kissing her deeply while Emmett’s shoulders slumped a little in relief, and I sat back in my chair.

She said yes.