29. Killian
29
Killian
When I woke up with a gasp, it was pitch dark, and I could tell, even without looking at the time, that it was the middle of the night.
One of my hands flew out, feeling around in the sheets, and my heart rate spiked as I felt the cool fabric. Where was my omega?
The sheets were cold, meaning Lilah had been gone for a while.
Where the fuck was she?
I bolted up and nearly faceplanted as I scrambled out of bed. I only managed to keep myself upright by holding on to the footboard, taking a breath to regain my balance, and trying to slow my heart.
I took another deep breath, then closed my eyes against the darkness of the room, listening. It was more than obvious that I was alone in here, but I stretched my ears beyond just my room, listening for any hint that Lilah was still in the house.
A moment passed, and then I heard the thudding of a heartbeat that wasn’t the familiar thumps of Emmett or Oliver’s. I followed it out of my room and a few feet down the hallway.
I drew up short when I found Lilah sitting on the ground, her back against the wall and her knees drawn up to her chest. Her arms were wrapped around her legs, and she was staring at the closed door to her nest, her breathing rapid and shallow. Even in the dim light of the nightlight plugged into one of the hallway outlets, I could see the shining streaks of tears on her cheeks, and my heart tugged towards her, making me want to immediately attack the problem and do whatever was necessary to make my omega happy.
Unfortunately, this situation was a hell of a lot more complicated than that. I chewed on the inside of my cheek, then sat down next to her, leaning against the wall and staring at the offending closed door with her.
For a few long moments, neither of us spoke. I didn’t want to interrupt whatever thoughts she’d been having before I came upon her, and she seemed to have herself under control enough that I didn’t need to be immediately worried about her health. I was more than willing to wait as long as necessary to hear her out, whatever she needed.
It took almost five minutes before she finally let out a shuddering breath and reached out with one hand. Immediately, I gave her mine, and she linked our fingers together, making my heart pound slightly slower just from the feeling of her delicate fingers between mine.
“Doing okay?” I asked softly. I knew the answer to that, but I also knew that talking about it would be important in her healing process.
She shook her head, then leaned it against my shoulder. The spill of her dark hair against my bare skin made a low purr rumble through my chest, but I cut it off quickly, wanting to hear what she had to say.
“I just...” She took in a shaky breath and shook her head again. A few more tears spilled over her cheeks, and I barely managed to restrain the urge to wipe them away. “I just...I mean...um...”
“Hey,” I said gently. I turned my head and kissed the top of her head, breathing in her sweet scent for a moment before I murmured, “Take your time. Let’s talk this out. I’m not going to judge you. No matter what.”
She nodded again and took in another shaky breath. “I...I understand why he did what he did,” she finally whispered. Despite the low volume of her voice, it felt like she was shouting in the dense silence of the hallway, and I nodded, giving her the room to continue. “I even feel pretty fucking awful over it, if I’m being honest. What you guys went through with Jack...” She let out a shuddering sigh. “I can’t imagine.”
A twinge of old pain tingled in my chest, and I winced, rubbing my hand over it. “Yeah, it sucked,” I murmured, unable to keep the sadness out of my voice.
She nodded, pressing a tiny bit closer to me, offering comfort the best way she knew how. It warmed my chest to see her instincts shining through, even dampened as they were right now by her fear and doubt.
“It still fucking hurts, though,” she finally whispered after another long pause. She stared at the closed door in front of us, her eyes shining with tears that had yet to spill, and I let out a low growl at the sign of her pain. She continued, “It...It feels like the realization he didn’t trust me enough to listen is sitting on my chest, and it’s so fucking heavy. I could see how sorry he felt tonight, and I meant it when I said I wanted to work towards a solution. Towards...us all being a pack. Together.” She swallowed and finally looked up at me. “But what if...”
She paused, and I leaned down, resting my forehead against hers and enjoying the close contact. “What if what, baby girl?”
“What if I can never go in there?” She gestured towards the closed nest door, her voice trembling. “What if...what if I’m never comfortable around Oliver again? He’s Prime. I can’t exactly stay here and not be with him...and with him, right? I could never be so cruel...”
I cut her off, my wolf not liking the fear and self-deprecation in her voice. “Oliver is a big boy,” I said firmly, reaching up and cupping her chin so she couldn’t look away from me. One of my thumbs stroked away the salty streak left by a tear, and I shoved down the impulse to lick it away. “He’ll be fine, I promise. I know for a fact that he will wait however long it’s necessary for you to recover, especially when this entire mess is his fucking fault.”
“But what if it takes too long?” she whispered. “What if it never happens?”
“It will,” I assured her gently.
“You can’t know that.” She blinked, and I wiped away the tear that fell down her cheek. I couldn’t hold back the urge to lick it away this time, though, and I let out a small growl at the salty flavor before I cupped her chin again.
“I can, and I do,” I affirmed. Energy buzzed inside of me, and I ignored it in favor of looking at her firmly. This was a far more serious conversation than I usually preferred, but I knew Lilah needed to feel comfortable right now, and I had the feeling that I was the only one she would listen to. “It’ll happen, baby girl. I promise you. We’ll be here for your recovery every step of the way, and when you’re ready to talk about accepting our bond again and accepting Oliver ,” I put the slightest emphasis on the name, “Then we’ll be here for you.”
Her eyes flicked over my face, her lower lip jutting out in a little pout. After a moment, she sighed and leaned forward to press our lips together in a sweet kiss.
It took everything inside of me not to shove her down on the floor so that I could take her right then and there. My cock twitched, and I desperately shoved down my arousal, refusing to let my animal instincts lead the way in such a delicate situation.
But then Lilah pulled away, brushing the tip of her nose against mine, and she whispered, “Take me to bed, Killian.”
I nodded, immediately pulling away and standing up. “Of course, baby girl,” I said, pulling her to her feet when she offered me her hand. “I’m sure you’re exhausted. We can talk more about this tomorrow...”
Lilah stepped into me, shaking her head as she lay one hand over my chest. She looked up at me, and her scent bloomed warm and spicy between us, making me growl.
“No,” she said quietly. “I mean, take me to bed .”
The double meaning of her words took far too long to register, and I groaned as she reached down and pressed her hand against the hard length of my cock, straining against my thin pajama pants. It jerked against her touch, and she whined softly before she looked up at me, her teeth flashing white in the dim light as she bit her lower lip.
“Please?” she whispered.
I looked her up and down. She seemed clear-headed enough, even if the voice in the back of my head screamed that she couldn’t possibly consent or be serious when we had just been having such an emotional conversation.
But maybe that was exactly why she needed this—a distraction.
And who was I to tell my omega what she did or did not need?
“Are you sure?” I asked, my voice strained. My hips jerked when she fully wrapped her hand around my cock, squeezing, and she nodded, her lips twitching a little as she clearly tried to suppress her amusement at my dilemma.
“Yes. Take me to bed, Alpha. Now.”