34. Lilah
34
Lilah
I hid in Killian’s room for the rest of the afternoon after we got back from visiting my mother. I took a nap and woke up feeling more rested than I had in a little while.
I had the feeling that it was, at least in part, due to the fact that my body was no longer reacting as violently to the alphas’ scents when I first woke up. The first few days after I came back to the house when I woke up and wasn’t quite aware of where I was, the scent of alpha in my nose immediately sent me into a near-panic attack, and only comfort from Killian would keep me relatively calm.
Now, though, I could manage the mild tingles of panic all on my own, and they were happening less and less as time went on.
Thank God.
The faint scents of dinner in my nose made me perk up as I brushed my hair, tugging the tangles out. I headed downstairs, still wearing the loose shorts and tank top I’d tossed on before snuggling down to sleep. The air was warm enough that I didn’t feel a chill, and when I walked into the kitchen to see Killian and Emmett working on dinner, their eyes widened slightly.
“Hey, baby girl.” Killian grinned and crossed over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and dropping his head to kiss my lips. He wore an apron over his loose gray shirt and sweats—a stupidly good look on him. His glasses were slightly askew, his dimples deep and bright when he pulled away to smile down at me, and I felt something inside of me unwind even further.
“Hi.” I grinned at him, then looked over where Emmett stood at the stove. He was wearing comfortable house clothes, too, and the small smile he flashed over his shoulder made me want to squirm. “What are we doing?”
“Emmett and I are making you dinner,” Killian said, winking before he turned me around and nudged me toward the dining room. “Go sit down, and we’ll be out in a minute. We’re almost done. I was going to come wake you up in a few minutes if you didn’t get up on your own.”
The flutters in my stomach grew stronger, and my smile widened. “Okay. I’ll...go sit down then.”
It went against everything I had read on the Internet to go into the dining room and wait for my alphas to serve me, but I couldn’t say I was too upset about it. The idea that an omega was the servant of the house and that their only role was to serve their alphas in whatever way possible was archaic at best and incredibly sexist at worst.
The fact that my alphas were going out of their way to show me how much they valued me and apologize for their actions meant more than I could express in words.
“Dinner is served!” Killian announced with a flourish as he walked into the room, his hands laden with plates.
I couldn’t help giggling at the display as he and Emmett quickly set the table. It was ham and all the fixings for dinner tonight, and I snorted as Killian loaded my plate for me—again, with far more food than I could reasonably eat in one sitting.
“Something funny, sweetheart?” Emmett asked, his voice steady and quiet as he sat on my right.
I picked up my fork and stabbed through a roasted potato, grinning cheekily at him. “I was just wondering if you guys know how to make meals other than holiday food. So far, we’ve done roast and ham. I’m expecting a fucking turkey next.”
Killian tossed back his head and laughed, taking his place on my right. His plate was full, but he didn’t pick up his fork and dive in, instead lacing his fingers under his chin and staring at me with his eyes twinkling.
Emmett was eating on my other side, but that didn’t make his attention any less focused or intense. The feeling of both alphas giving me their full attention made me squirm a little. I couldn’t say that I hated it...
But it made it all the more stark that Oliver wasn’t there with them.
“Where’s Ollie?” I asked, aiming for casual. The tremble in my voice betrayed me, though, and Killian’s expression twisted a little.
“He had a few things to wrap up at the office tonight,” he said evenly.
My stomach twisted, and I let out a sigh. “He’s avoiding me,” I stated, setting down my fork.
Emmett sighed, reaching out with one hand. “Not because he doesn’t want to be here,” he said quietly.
“He’s just trying to give you some space to get better, baby girl,” Killian added, furrowing his brow. I could see the conflict in his green eyes, and it didn’t take a genius to deduce why.
The alphas on either side of me wanted me to get better and wanted me to decide to stay—because, scent-matches or not, we hadn’t made any formal agreement that I was going to join the pack. It was entirely up to me at the end of the day, and until I had a bite on my neck and a bond in my chest, there was a chance I could leave and seek my fortune elsewhere.
The thought made me snort. Seek my fortune . I sounded like the heroine of a Regency novel.
“I get that,” I finally mumbled, peeking up at both of them. “But it still hurts, you know?”
I reached up and rubbed my chest, feeling the pulsing of the stubbornly clinging pseudo-bond. I could faintly feel Oliver’s distress in my subconscious, like an itchy seam irritating my toes. I wanted him to be here to make it better, but at the same time, I appreciated that he respected me enough that he wanted me to welcome him in before he forced himself on my time.
It was the world’s worst catch-22. I wanted him around, but my body rejected him. He wanted to respect my medical problems, but the only way that they were going to get better was if he was around.
Fuck .
“How do we fix this?” I asked, looking at Killian and Emmett in turn.
They exchanged looks with each other, and Killian turned his full attention on me again. “That’s up to you, baby girl,” he said gently. “How are your symptoms? That was something we wanted to talk about tonight, anyway.”
I nodded, picking up my fork again. The mention of Oliver had pretty much eradicated my appetite, but I was still going to eat the fantastic meal my alphas had made for me. “They’re...okay. Like, they’re getting a little better every day, right? I’m not panicking as much, and it seems like my blood pressure is normalizing, even when one of you is around.”
Emmett grimaced a little, and I felt bad about pointing out that it wasn’t just Oliver who triggered my physical responses. But we had agreed to honesty, and I wasn’t going to suffer for his feelings, especially when I knew it would piss them off even more if I lied.
Killian nodded, his expression nothing but supportive. “That’s good,” he said. “Really, Lilah. I’m so glad to hear that you’re doing better. And I know that Oliver would be, too.”
I pressed my lips together and then ventured, “He can be a bit of a stubborn asshole, can’t he?”
After a moment of stunned silence, Emmett let out a bark of laughter. “You could say that,” he said, chuckling.
“He’s Prime for a reason,” Killian added, snickering as well. “He doesn’t mind being an asshole on behalf of the pack.” He sobered. “Even if that means that he makes mistakes sometimes.”
The warm atmosphere from my little joke disappeared, and I nodded, running one hand through my hair. “I’m not planning on punishing him forever, you know,” I finally said, looking first at Killian and then at Emmett. “I need you both to know that. I...I want to make this work, too.”
Killian nodded, and then a small smirk touched his lips. “A little bit of suffering will be good for him, baby girl. Make him crawl.”
I tossed back my head and laughed. “My mom said the same thing!”
Both alphas laughed with me, and then we all dug into dinner, feeling a little lighter than we had before.