Knot Without You: An Omegaverse Romance

Prologue

The idea of having a group of women who unconditionally support and love each other is impossible to understand until you’ve experienced it firsthand.

Authors do an amazing job of romanticising the concept of having a group of women who always have your back in any situation. In movies they do the same, usually they throw a man in to test their friendship, but I get it now and they got it wrong. Or maybe not wrong, but neither properly articulate the raw power of a solid friendship.

In the space of a few hours after meeting Raney, Simona, and Heidi, I would have gone into battle for them, full guns blazing, till the death even. No questions asked either.

I’ve read enough about kindred spirits to understand that we’re simply finding each other again. I never considered it would happen to me—either having friends like this or doing the reconnection thing. But here we are.

Heidi Holmes comes with enough emotional baggage to open up her own luxury brand of travel bags and suitcases. Raney Grady has the scars on her body and her heart to prove being rejected by a pack sucks ass, but recovering is a glorious road to victory. Simona Vanderling has the sweetest disposition despite a future that was promised to a pack generations ago.

The four of us reconnected over tears caused by Alphas who had done us wrong. Although, even if you took that connection away, I’m sure we would have still found each other. Fated besties are as real as fated mates.

Everything clicked into place the moment we met. Then it was like opening a vault with secrets, tears, and anger spilling out and binding us together, forever.

“I feel like a fraud,” I admit. Not quietly either. My words echo back at me, almost as if they’re reinforcing that I am actually a fraud.

“And that is disturbing,” Simona says, climbing out of her chair to kneel at my feet, her arms open expectantly. I bend in half and take the hug she offers, but it doesn’t do much to appease the gurgling anxiety in my tummy. “This isn’t a competition of who has been hurt more.” She holds my face, making it impossible for me to twist away from her compassion.

“I get it, Sim, but at the same time what I went through is nothing like what you guys went or are going through.”

“The first date you went on, Tristan, you got hurt by an Alpha because he was a delusional fuck-stick,” Raney hisses.

“And my parents took care of it.”

Simona pushes gently. “So?”

“There is no so in this,” Heidi adds without turning around to face me. And that’s not because she’s ambivalent or doesn’t care. She most certainly does care but sharing secrets is heavy and she needs a small reprieve as she sorts through her own memories.

Her comment doesn’t refer back to what happened either. In such a short amount of time, she gets me—just like Sim and Raney. And right now, Heidi knows my anxiety is more about whether I have the right to claim being a Scorned Girl.

“If we ever see old Troy boy again, I’ll show him some of my moves as a lesson in what happens if you mess with one of us,” Raney says, kicking out her good leg to prove a point.

“Yeah, we’ll watch Raney kung-fu the fuck out of his ass on one good leg.” Heidi laughs.

“You wouldn’t jump in?” I gasp, getting offended Heidi would only watch and not get involved.

“And risk breaking a nail for that dumb shit Troy? No thank you. Besides, I’ll make sure he can never open a bank account or take a holiday out of the country instead. Which leaves Sim in charge of screwing with his head.”

“And me?” I hiss out, offended at not being included.

She rolls her eyes at my dramatics. “Tris, you get to do whatever you want to him. Or a little bit of everything on the proviso you never ever question what you went through again. You told us how he made you feel, and no Alpha ever gets to make any of us feel like shit again. Deal?”

Heidi holds her hand out to me, and I have little choice but to shake it. Although, when my memories decide to spring out of the box I’ve locked them in, I cling on to her hand like it’s a lifeboat.

Troy was the typical good-looking captain of the football team; he had his loyal followers, including his teammates and half the cheer squad at his beck and call. Plus a girlfriend who doted on him.

But he told me they were on the rocks.

For the entire first semester in Senior year, he pestered me at any chance he got, trying to get me to go out with him. And while I was a teenager and an Omega full of romantic ideologies, I wasn’t blind. Troy was still with Becca.

But he was persistent. He even involved his intended pack mates trying to get me to go out with them as a group. They would swarm around and fill my head with promises. I want to say I never thawed, but like almost any other person alive there was a part of the chasing, the thrill of being wanted, that overrode my own common sense.

Becca left for cheer camp crying her eyes out in front of the entire senior class, proclaiming she was done. And after five nights of Troy’s constant pleas, my resolve cracked.

From the second he picked me up, he was so over the top, talking about how we should keep our relationship between us, to keep it special. Since it was the opposite of his relationship with Becca, it made sense. Plus, it gave me the chance to focus on graduating and not making enemies. Because Becca had a posse of besties who always sided with her no matter the fight.

Troy was funny, and the picnic under the bleachers with his pack was so darn cute it was straight out of a romance novel.

But something still felt off, not right. Driving home, it all clicked into place.

“So, what do you think, you’re in, right? You like my pack, and you and I are hot for each other.”

“I think it’s a little early for me to make a decision like that, Troy,” I answered truthfully. I liked him, but one date didn’t mean I was going to sign up for anything. Especially because of the Becca thing. Were they on or off?

Instead of answering, he kind of hummed before doing a U-turn and heading back into town.

“Where are we going?” I asked, suddenly keen just to get home.

“To get some pie, maybe that will sweeten you up.”

My stomach dropped because the only place in town that served pie at this hour was the diner owned by Becca’s parents. Knowing Becca was out of town at the cheer camp had anxiety bubbling in my tummy. Even with the knowledge that Troy and Becca had broken up, it didn’t sit well with me.

“I don’t…” I stuttered, wondering how to explain it without upsetting him and bringing up his ex-girlfriend.

He pulled to a stop a short distance from the diner. “I’ll be a second. You wait here.”

He didn’t wait for a response.

He ran over to the diner, and I was surprised to see his pack there, sitting in the front booth. But not as surprised as I was to see Becca hopping up out of the booth and flying into his waiting arms. He kissed her for the world to see before he sat down in the booth with Becca on his lap.

I waited. I sat in his truck and watched him and Becca laugh, and kiss, and laugh, and kiss. I was locked up in shock. I didn’t move a muscle, and I hated myself for it. An hour later, I watched him kiss her goodbye before he returned to me with a piece of pie in his hand.

He passed the pie over, started his truck, and drove towards my house.

“I don’t understand,” I whispered as we were turning into my drive.

Troy stopped the car just past the front gate, under the canopy of trees plunging us into darkness.

“What? You agreed.”

I looked at him, trying to get his angle. “You said you’d broken up with Becca.”

“No, I didn’t. I can’t exactly have two girlfriends, Tristan. That’s a bit ridiculous and that’s why I said we had to be quiet about us being together.”

“Why did you ask me out then?” I pushed. I needed to know.

“Becca had to work. Plus, my pack wanted to meet you, to make sure they were happy.”

“What?” I shook my head. “You can’t be serious; you want me to be what? Be your piece on the side while your girlfriend works?”

“You knew the deal before we went out,” he said flippantly.

My mouth fell open and I don’t know how I didn’t start screeching. I turned away from him.

“No crap, Tristan, don’t you look away from me when I’m talking to you.” He hissed, his fingers reaching over and twisting the flesh on my thigh. “You have a really bad habit of over-exaggerating and over-complicating things to suit yourself.”

“Ouch!” I brushed his hand away, but he grabbed my wrist and twisted it. I locked up in fear, worried anything I did would make him snap.

“I saw the way you were desperate for my pack. And you practically started eye fucking me the second I picked you up. Nothing new though, you’ve been desperate for me all semester.” He released my wrist to sit back in his seat but looked at me still. And the surety in his eyes, the blazing confidence in his body-language had me wondering if I had interpreted the whole date thing wrong.

“I might hop out and walk the rest of the way home,” I said quietly, trying the door.

He chuckled, and the noise was awful because it only added to the realisation I’d walked into a trap. “The child lock must be on. I’ll open it for you once you’ve shown me how thankful you are I took you out tonight.”

I twisted around, wondering if I was seriously going fucking crazy because nothing was adding up.

Troy’s jeans were flicked open, his boxers barely covering his dick, which I assumed was how he wanted me to thank him. “Now, Tristan!” he barked.

“No,” I answered without hesitation, nice and loud. There’d be no mistaking my words, my intent, or my absolute horror.

He reached over with lightning speed again, grabbed the front of my t-shirt, and dragged me over the centre console closer. “Don’t be shy now. All night you’ve been looking at my dick. Don’t fucking lie about that too.”

“No! Please don’t, Troy,” I begged, trying to break free of his hold without setting him off even more.

He didn’t stop. Instead of yelling, he started trying to hypnotise me with his recent Alpha transition, using his designation to snake-charm my mind. “You get that I’m an Alpha, right? People are going to have a hard time believing anything you say, Tristan. Now stop being a pain in the ass and come suck me off.”

There was a sudden bang on the car. I screamed and Troy scrambled to right himself.

I had never been happier to see my family. Two of my fathers, Conan and Dean, were standing at the front of the truck. They both look pissed.

An audible click followed as Troy unlocked the truck. “Don’t you be telling lies, Tristan. You agreed to go on a date with me.”

He didn’t say another word, he just looked at me expectantly. The pause stretched out so much I actually thought I had gone mad, until he said, “See you at school, huh?”

By the time I climbed out of the car I was so far-away in my head, I couldn’t say a word. Troy reversed out of our driveway like he didn’t have a care in the world, only adding to my anxiety.

I was swept off my feet and carried straight into the kitchen where a mug of warm milk and a plate of chocolate cookies waited. My parents didn’t talk. Instead, they wrapped me in scents of home, comforted me until I begrudgingly told them what happened. I didn’t want to admit it at first because I really still wondered where it all went wrong. And if I was to blame.

I got passed over to the Omegas in our family, my mother, and my dad Sebastian, for a night of reassuring cuddles and watching our favourite show, while two of my Alpha dads went out hunting. The other stood guard with a shotgun at the ready.

Before the first episode of the sitcom ended, I was led back outside by Conan, our family head and the more dominant Alpha in our pack. The rest of my family followed and surrounded me physically in their loving support.

“Tristan, come over here.” Conan’s voice rang through the night, temporarily drowning out Troy’s evident indignation at being brought back here. I went to take a step, but my mom grabbed the back of my t-shirt when Troy started to talk.

“Look, we had an okay night, but Tristan overreacted and misunderstood a few things. Not sure if it’s because I’m the Captain or what, but she really wanted us to go on a date, and she kept going on and on about it at school. She knew I had a girlfriend, but I felt sorry for her. I thought if she met my pack, she’d see we could only be friends because I’ve got a girlfriend and a pack already. On the way home I explained it again, but I don’tthink Tristan gets it. The way she’s into me more than I’m into her is embarrassing.”

“Tris, is that true?” Conan asks slowly, his eyes locked on my slimy date because Conan has already heard the truth from me.

And no one said a word or moved a muscle. It’s like the whole world held its breath. And it’s in that pause, that deadening stillness where I questioned myself again. I shouldn’t, I definitely didn’t need to, but I did. And the doubt nearly sent me to my knees.

Dean shattered the moment with a bark, “Are you calling my daughter a liar?”

And Dean was the most stable Alpha in our pack. He’d been a pillar of our community as one of the town’s doctors, but at the same time his compassion extended further than just the patient he treated. But not to Troy.

“Well, sir…”

Before I could even defend myself, my other dad, Sebastian, took control. “And shall we talk about you bruising my daughter? Or nearly breaking her wrist? Perhaps we should see how you like it, since you’re a big strong Alpha.”

Like my mom and I, Sebastian is an Omega. A rare male Omega who is also absurdly talented at making money, ensuring we never had to want for anything material.

As a family, we had everything you’d ever want in a pack, Alphas to protect and provide, and three Omegas to cherish. Yep, I grew up in a loving family unit. Right now, I was not the only one frozen in disbelief when Sebastian’s control snapped and he leapt off our porch and taught Troy a lesson.

Watching Sebastian with Troy, screaming in his face about having a goddamn moral compass, was reassuring. I knew I wasn’t crazy. I knew my family believed me, but still watching all my pack with Troy helped reinforce that.

“Tristan,” Sebastian hissed without searching me out, his sight still locked on Troy.

I went to him. “Yes,” I whispered.

And the night was once again silenced by the deep and angry growls of my pack.

Sebastian lashed out because of it too. “You did that, Troy. You made my daughter doubt herself. For anyone to steal my girl’s sunshine, is unfathomable and inexcusable. You are a pathetic Alpha. Do fucking better and don’t you fucking dare ever blame Tristan for your insecurities again. Now apologise before I rip your voice box from your throat.”

Troy’s apology streamed out of him like a bad late-night infomercial, bland and scripted without real sincerity.

I started to struggle again at that point. It was clear to me he was not sorry. And by the look of utter contempt he threw my way, I didn’t think he ever would be either.

“That’s enough of you watching,” my mom said, “our pack needs to sort this little upstart out.” She reached in through the wall of dads and took me inside our home, away from the rising aggression.

“Tris!” Simona grabs my shoulders and literally shakes the bad memories right out of my head, bringing me from the past back to our living room at Unity.

My girls don’t miss my struggle, and they engulf me in a Scorned Girls snuggle, reminding me over and over again that I’m not back in that god-awful time and place in my life.

I never discounted the lingering effects of what happened. I think it’s part of why I’m so loud because of how Troy turned on me. Lo and behold he got the entire senior class to believe his lies, making me a shell of a person. And that still freaks the hell out of me.

Admittedly, the first time I heard what Raney, Heidi, and Simona had each been through as a result of Alphas doing them wrong made me reevaluate my own past. If I’m honest, compared to what they suffered, I don’t think my past should even rate on the Scorned scale of angst. They vehemently disagreed, thank God, because I love these girls with all my heart and need them in my future.

Like anyone who has a past though, some days the voices in my head are obnoxiously loud and impossible to ignore. Today is just one of those days, but the flipside is I get another reminder of how strong our friendship is.

Nodding my head quickly, I let them know I’m okay before throwing my hat into the ring, “No one should steal a person’s voice, guess that means I’d punch him in his nasty, lie-sprouting mouth and see how he likes it.”

“The one good thing our history gave us is each other. I think that’s amazing,” Simona says softly, climbing back into her seat.

“Same,” I answer, feeling better already. But that’s what real friends do; they lift you up when you’re down. “What could break us?”

“Lying. I fucking hate liars especially after the bullshit with Jenn and Dad,” Raney says abruptly before she diverts the conversation. “Would you ever reconnect with your past?”

“Me? No fucking chance,” I say quickly. And I really wouldn’t. I go home but not as much as I want probably because Troy and his pack, Becca included, are still in the surrounding area.

“I’m still trying to outrun mine,” Heidi adds while throwing her blanket off her lap and racing through the dark kitchen, returning with a bag of Cheetos and a box of sugar donuts. “But you need to, Raney. You’re not going to be able to move on until you do.”

“We’ll be right behind you the whole way,” Simona encourages.

Raney looks at each of us before answering. “What if they never let me go?”

“Then we hire the Phoenix Group and get them to get your ex-boyfriends to let you go again,” Heidi encourages with an evil laugh.

“We have to find them first,” I answer back before scoffing. Because the likelihood of us ever finding the faceless group of vigilante Alphas is way too amusing. “Besides, I’m sure Koz could deal with your past with his eyes shut and his hands tied behind his back.”

Raney smiles goofily as she agrees before she shrugs innocently. “I mean, I could always ask Dad.”

Of course, my fucking phone rings before I get to the part of her explaining what she means about her dad—who none of us have had the chance to meet.

“I have to take this.” I dart into my room before they can protest the interruption of our girls’ night. It’s my agent, with an offer I’ve been waiting for. The chance to work again with one of the best photographers on the globe doesn’t come up often enough.