Chapter 13
F rustrated as all hell, Hunter made his way back to his chamber to try to calm down before he continued his search for the thief. He entered his room, stomping over and sitting down on a chair with his head between his hands.
“What the hell is happening to me?” he mumbled, not expecting an answer. Then, that damned voice in his head started up again, about driving him mad.
You failed, Hunter. You lost Luke’s love and now you’ve lost Regina’s, too. You don’t deserve it. You have no right raising a child. You shouldn’t be in the castle either. Find your thief and go back to your pathetic hut in the woods. You were better off as a bloody mercenary. All you know is how to fight and how to kill. You know nothing of love and never will.
“Nay, damn it. Stop it!” he screamed, jumping up so abruptly that the chair fell over behind him. Part of him believed the voice of his late sister and it didn’t feel good at all. Mayhap he didn’t deserve to be here dressed like a noble and sleeping in a bed that could fit four. Perhaps he should just leave and go back to his horrible life in the woods. Alone.
“Nay, I won’t leave before I find the thief. I gave my word and I will keep it. I will do the job I was hired to do.” He looked down at his clothes. The clothes of a noble. “But not dressed like this, I won’t.”
It wasn’t who he was and he was tired of lying. If he was going to earn the respect of anyone, especially Regina, he would do it as himself. Not as someone else.
He opened a trunk in the room, rummaging around for his clothes. The clothes he’d been wearing when he first arrived here at Shrewsbury Castle. He’d put them in here somewhere and wanted to take them back.
Flipping open the lid on the trunk, he found his tunic and breeches right on top and donned them quickly. Then he kicked off the boots the nobles had given him, going back to the trunk to try to find his.
He dug to the bottom, and pulled out what he thought was his boots. That’s when he realized these weren’t his at all. These were the boots that Luke had been wearing when he tripped. It irked him because he hadn’t had time to even reprimand the boy about it yet.
Throwing them down, he dug deeper. That’s when he found a crossbow wrapped up in Luke’s tunic.
“What the hell?” Hunter ran his hand over the crossbow in thought. He was sure this wasn’t in here when they’d first arrived. Suddenly, he saw things clear as day. Hadn’t Luke asked for not only a black cat but also a pair of boots and a crossbow? It was a little too convenient that Hunter would find most of these things in here.
Placing the crossbow on the floor, he dug through the trunk some more.
“Ouch!” he spat, pricking his finger on something sharp. He picked it up and his mouth fell open. It was a lady’s brooch. That is, a brooch in the shape of a hawk with diamonds on the tips of the wings and a ruby for its eye. “God’s teeth, this can’t be true.”
Hunter felt like a fool. He’d been so infatuated with Regina that he hadn’t even seen what was right under his own nose. “Luke is a thief,” he muttered, his heart breaking, but the proof was as clear as day. Hadn’t the boy been acting strange lately? And things he’d always wanted kept appearing in his life like magic. “Damn it, Luke. Why? Why!”
There came a knock on his door and he spun around. “Who is it?” he ground out.
“Hunter?” came a muffled voice from the other side. “It’s me. Regina. Can we talk?”
“Hell, not now,” he grumbled. This was the worst possible timing of all. He needed to talk to Luke, not Regina. Then again, if he turned her away, things might be over between them forever. Not that they already weren’t. “Just a minute,” he said, tossing the brooch back in the trunk and then the boots and crossbow and slamming the lid shut.
He hurried to the door and opened it to see his beautiful angel standing there. All he wanted to do was to pull her into his embrace and hug and kiss her and tell her that he never wanted to leave her side.
But he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. Things were not the same between them anymore.
“Can I come in?” she asked. He saw her red nose and wet eyes and knew she’d been crying.
“I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a good idea, Regina.” He didn’t move aside to let her enter. If he were alone with her again, he’d only want to comfort her and hold her and kiss her. He already knew how well that would turn out. Nay, he couldn’t be alone with her again. “Perhaps we can talk while we walk.” He started back across the room, looking for his damned boots.
“Hunter, I’m scared. I just heard from Robin that while we were gone the thief also stole one of the huntsmen’s crossbows.”
He stopped in his tracks. “God’s eyes, nay,” he said, running a hand through his hair. He looked back over his shoulder at the trunk. So, it seemed his suspicions were correct. He had raised a thief and now had to decide whether to turn in the boy or not.
“Can we please talk right here inside your room?” she begged him. “There is something I want to say to you but I want to do it in private.”
“Regina, I don’t think?—”
Too late. She entered the room anyway. With a sigh, he walked over and closed the door.
“Hunter, I will make this fast,” she told him.
“Good. Because I have a lot to do.”
She paced the room and wrung her hands as she spoke. “First of all, I am not happy at all that you didn’t tell me about your past. Being a mercenary, I mean.”
“I try to forget about that time in my life,” he told her. “Besides, what does it matter? It has no effect on the job I was hired to do here at Shrewsbury Castle.”
“What does it matter?” she repeated his words, shaking her head as she spoke. “It matters to me,” she told him, stopping and looking up with concern in her eyes.
“Regina, what can I say? I’m sorry. Sorry for not telling you and sorry that it is part of my dark past at all.”
“Dark past? Hunter, is there more you’re not telling me?”
“Nothing more other than the fact I was unwanted and unloved and could never be the person everyone else seemed to want me to be.”
“Oh, Hunter, I’m so sorry,” she said, dropping her hands to her side.
“Huh?” he asked in confusion, knowing he should be the one apologizing to her but now she was apologizing to him. None of this made sense.
“I accept you for who you are.” She smiled and walked over and took his hands in hers.
“Regina, please,” he said in a soft voice. “You don’t have to do this.”
“I cherish the time we spent together,” she continued. “I don’t regret making love with you, and I want you to know that I don’t care any longer about your past.”
“You—don’t?” He shook his head. “I thought you just said you were upset that I was a mercenary. That I pretended to be someone I wasn’t.”
“I know. I can’t even think straight because I am so worried about Lightning. Besides, I think I was just more upset by the fact that you didn’t tell me about it.”
“Regina, now you’re the one lying.” He looked down at her in a knowing manner.
“All right, I guess I am. Yes, it disturbs me horribly, but Sage helped me to realize that it wasn’t your fault. You were just a child and doing what you were told to do. I will come to terms with that, but please be patient with me. I am trying my hardest.”
“Wait a minute. Did you talk to Sage about me?”
“Yes. I needed another woman’s thoughts.”
“I see,” he said, realizing he was no different, having talked to William about her. “What about the fact I gave my father’s sword to Luke and took him along on my jobs? Doesn’t that bother you?”
She hesitated for a moment, then bit her lip and shook her head. “You were trying to save the memory of the only parent who cared for you. I understand that.”
“Yes, That’s right, I was.”
“And you are doing the best you can raising the boy. I know it isn’t easy.”
“I am,” he said, wondering why she was being so understanding all of a sudden. It almost made him feel guiltier than he did before.
“At least Luke doesn’t carry the sword around with him.” She seemed more settled with that thought.
“Nay, he doesn’t. Or at least not lately,” said Hunter, looking around the room wondering where the boy put the sword and hoping he hadn’t decided to flash it around to his friends again. He had told Luke to leave it in the room and by God he hoped the boy actually listened.
“Hunter, I was upset with you because you were ignoring me this morning. That is what started this all. After the wonderful night we spent together, I didn’t understand why you would treat me that way. It made me feel like you regretted what we did.”
“Nay, that’s not true.” He took her by the hands. “I don’t regret making love to you, Regina. I could never regret spending one minute with you. You are the kindest, smartest, most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I guess I just can’t understand why you would want someone like me at all.”
“Is that why you were ignoring me?” She looked up to him with her big hazel eyes, waiting for his honest answer.
“Partially,” he said softly.
“Oh, Hunter, I think I am falling in love with you and I need to know how you feel about me.”
“Regina, you have no idea how much I care for you.” He pulled her into his arms, kissing her atop the head. “I only tried to distance myself from you because I realized that I ruined you.”
“Ruined me? How so?”
“I took your virginity. That is something you can never get back.”
She pulled away and looked up at him. “You didn’t take anything that I wasn’t willing to give.”
“I don’t deserve you, and you know it. I am not good for you, Regina.”
“If anything, you should think I am not good enough for you. I acted like a whore, making love with a man to whom I wasn’t married.”
“Nay, never say that,” he told her, kissing her gently on her lips. “You are a noble, an honorable lady and you always will be. I only regret that now your reputation is soiled. Because of me, you will never be able to marry a nobleman. All because of one night of passion. Of what we did together.”
“If I had wanted to marry a nobleman, don’t you think I would have done so by now?” she asked him.
“I don’t know. Why haven’t you been betrothed by now? You are certainly of marrying age.”
“It’s because I never thought I needed or wanted a man. Not until I met you.” She reached up and touched him on the cheek. Her soft skin against his felt so inviting that he moaned softly and closed his eyes. “Hunter, I love you.”
His eyes shot open. “You don’t really meant that. You couldn’t love a man like me.”
“Are you calling me a liar?”
“Nay. I’m the liar. But I’m done with lying, sweetheart.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her with undeniable passion. “I do love you, my Ladybird. I swear, if I wasn’t just a commoner, I’d be asking you to marry me right now.”
“Well, why don’t you?” She looked at him and bit at her lip.
“What do you mean?” His heart stilled.
“Hunter, I am sure you are not a stranger to the fact that most of the Blake siblings have been marrying commoners lately.”
“Yes, I have heard. So?”
“So, if we wanted to get married, it would be no different.”
“Your father wouldn’t object?”
“I don’t see why. He knew your father. They were friends. He was the one to bring us together if you look at it from a different angle.”
“I suppose. I see your point.”
“Do you love me?”
“Yes. Yes, I think I do.”
“And I love you.”
“So, you believe we should be together?”
She nodded. “Don’t you?”
“What I think and what I want are two different things entirely.”
You can’t have her. Don’t even think she really loves you because she doesn’t.
“Nay. I won’t listen to you anymore!” he shouted.
She released him and stepped back, almost in fear. “What?” she gasped.
“Oh, sweetheart, nay. I am not talking to you.” He reached out for her again.
“Well, I don’t see anyone else in here.” She looked around the room..
“Nay, it’s my sister.”
“I thought you said your sister was dead.”
“She is. But I’ve been hearing Mary’s condescending voice in my head for years now, telling me I can’t do anything right and that I am no good.”
“That’s not true, Hunter.”
“I could never seem to please my older sister. I think she hated me, mainly because I was a bastard from another father.”
“Oh, I am so sorry, Hunter. I had no idea that you were hearing demons in your head.” She stroked his cheek gently. “You need to push those nasty voices away. They are only going to ruin your life as well as drive you crazy.”
“I know you’re right. But it isn’t easy.”
“Then, let me help you try.” She kissed him deeply and ran her hands through his hair.
Hunter could see where this was going. “Regina, I can’t take you to bed again.”
“What?” She looked so disappointed.
“Not before I ask you something very important.”
“What is it, Hunter?”
He got down in front of her on one knee, taking her hands in his. “I know I don’t have much to offer, sweetheart, and I feel crazy for even considering this. I can give you my protection and my love, if that is enough for you.”
“Hunter? Why are you kneeling?”
“I think I’m in love with you, Ladybird. I would like nothing more than if you would marry me and be my wife.”
“I can’t believe this is happening.” Regina knelt down and looked him in the eye. “Hunter, I don’t want you to ever feel like you are not as good as anyone else. You are a good man, so don’t forget that. Any woman would be lucky to be your wife.”
“But?” He held his breath while he waited for her answer. That nasty voice in his head started to return to put doubt in the fact he was doing the right thing. Then he pushed the voice out of his mind, focusing on the wonderful woman before him, drinking in the love that was emanating from her.
“No buts. Yes, I would be honored to be your wife, Hunter Chase. I know we will always be happy together.”
“Oh, Regina.” He pulled her into a hug, his heart opening like it never had before. He’d found a woman who accepted him, forgave him and loved him all at the same time. It was a dream for a man like him and he honestly wasn’t sure he was really awake. “I promise to be the best husband I can be.”
“I promise to be the best wife I can be. Now, kiss me, Hunter. This is way too much talking.”
He did kiss her. Then he picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed, placing her down softly upon the lush mattress. They both knew what they wanted and no one would ever stop them because they wouldn’t let that happen. They made love atop the bed, sharing their passion and love for each other and this time not holding back their cries of release. For a short wonderful while all their troubles had disappeared.
“Regina, I would love to stay right here in bed with you for a week, but I have a thief to catch right now.” He kissed her on the nose and then got up and started to dress.
“Yes, and a falcon to find, don’t forget.” Regina got up and dressed as well. “Hunter, I am so scared that I’ll never see Lightning again.”
“Don’t be. I promise you that I will find her and she will be just fine. Let me find my boots and I’ll get my head back into my work.”
“Mayhap they’re in here,” she said, walking over and flipping open the trunk.
“Regina, no!” It was too late to stop her.
“What’s this?” She picked up the crossbow.When she did, the hawk brooch fell to the floor at her feet. “It’s Sage’s brooch.” She put down the crossbow and picked up the pin. “Hunter, I don’t understand. What are these things doing here?”
“I don’t really know, and that’s the truth,” he told her, finding his boots and putting them on. “I have just discovered them a few minutes ago, not unlike you. Regina, I have an awful suspicion that Luke might be the thief.”