Laird of Flint: A Forbidden Love Scottish Medieval Romance Adventure (The Warrior Lairds of Rivenloc

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

All the day and half the night were gone when Carenza awoke. She’d never slept so long. She’d missed supper. Skipped feeding her animals. Neglected to tell her father goodnight.

As far as she could tell, the opium had had no other lasting effect. But it had certainly made her feel strange. Deliciously relaxed and deliriously happy. As if she hadn’t a care in the world. As if she were perfect just the way she was.

And Hew… Her heart softened. The loyal warrior had stayed with her. Watched over her.

Like her noble champion. Her perfect hero. Making sure she didn’t make a fool of…

Then she remembered.

A silent scream slowly built inside her throat as the words she’d blurted out in her opium-induced state crashed down on her with vivid clarity.

She had made a fool of herself. In front of Hew.

She’d utterly lost control. She’d dished out ridiculous flattery. Uttered unmentionable things to him. Revealed her heart’s secret longings. Let ribald remarks glide across her tongue. Lord, she’d behaved like a doxy.

She’d never be able to look him in the eye again. Not after that. What kind of wanton must he think her?

She pushed up off the pallet and stared into the darkness. She could hear his rough breathing from the bed.

Dawn was several hours away yet. But she didn’t want to be here when he woke.

She quietly left the chamber and made her way down the stairs.

She was hungry. There would be bread and cheese in the pantry.

Dozing clan folk nested in the rushes on the floor of the great hall. She picked her way through them by the dim light of the banked fire. Then she climbed down the steps in the corner of the hall to the lower level, darker and chillier than the floor above. A narrow passageway cut into the stone opened onto four storage rooms.

One was the buttery where casks of ale, bottles of wine, perry, cider, and mead were kept.

The second held tallow and beeswax candles, bottles of scented oils, and spices—pepper, saffron, ginger, cinnamon, clove, cubeb, nutmeg.

The third contained her mother’s things. Things her father couldn’t bear to part with. He’d locked the room long ago and probably never revisited it. Carenza imagined it was full of rotted leines and moth-eaten arisaids.

She entered the fourth room, the pantry. On the shelves were a few day-old loaves of bread, several crocks of butter, and dozens of blocks of cheeses in neat rows. In one corner hung several hams.

She helped herself to a large chunk of bread, using her eating dagger to slather it with butter.

While she was choosing which cheese she wanted, she heard voices. The furious whispering of two men. Coming from just beyond the pantry doorway.

She hung back, pressing herself against the wall to listen.

“What the devil were ye thinkin’?”

“He’s trouble.”

“I know he’s trouble. But it can be managed.”

“That’s what I was doin’. Tryin’ to manage it.”

“By killin’ him?”

Carenza listened closer. They were talking about murder. This was something her father needed to hear.

“’Twould look like an accident.”

“Not to the laird. And not to his daughter.”

Carenza bit her lip. They were talking about her.

“I could explain it. Say ’twas an infection. Or ’twas worse than it looked at first. They’d trust me.”

A chill shivered down Carenza’s spine. That voice. It was Peris the physician.

“Ye know the laird has plans to make the man his heir, aye?”

“He can find another,” Peris said.

“Not like this one. Have ye ne’er heard o’ the Rivenloch clan? They’re the king’s favorites, for God’s sake. They keep the border from bein’ overrun by the English. A marriage into such a clan…”

“But if he finds out—”

“He won’t. Because ye’ll be careful.”

“I don’t like this.”

“Ye don’t have to. Just stay quiet. And don’t do mad things like tryin’ to kill a Rivenloch warrior.”

The opium. It had been intentional. And if Carenza hadn’t walked in when she did…

“The laird doesn’t want him to go back to Kildunan.”

“O’ course he doesn’t. Not when he’s got his daughter waitin’ on the prospective bridegoom, hand and foot.”

“But he can’t stay here,” the physician complained. “He’s too meddlesome. I can’t work this way.”

“He can’t go back to the monastery.”

“What! Why?”

“Father James is suspicious.”

“Father James? Why?”

“Why do ye think? He’s wonderin’ why there’s a Rivenloch warrior stayin’ at his monastery.”

“Laymen stay at monasteries all the time.”

“Maybe in the infirmary. Not in the monks’ cells.”

“Maybe he’s joinin’ the order.”

There was a dubious sigh. The same sigh Carenza had made at the absurd thought of Sir Hew donning a monk’s robes.

“No one would believe that.”

“I can’t go on like this,” Peris complained. “’Tis too dangerous.”

“And ye think killin’ a man in cold blood isn’t? God’s eyes, have ye no thought for your soul?”

“My soul is already damned from this nasty business.”

The other man grumbled something under his breath that sounded like a curse. “Listen to me. I swear to ye, ’twill be done by Lent. If ye can just compose yourself for a few more months and keep from killin’ anyone…”

“Compose myself? How am I supposed to do that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe drink one o’ those concoctions ye tried to give the warrior. Just lay low, and ’twill be right in the end.”

There was a long silence before Peris replied with a despondent sigh. “Fine.”

“Because we dare not do anythin’ to rouse Father James’s suspicions.”

“I said ‘fine’,” Peris snapped.

“Good. Ye’ll see. Everythin’ will be fine. And in the end, if ye don’t want a share o’ the spoils, ye can stay here at Dunlop if ye like, with none the wiser.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want a share o’ the spoils.”

What they said after that, she didn’t hear. They made their way along the passageway and up the stairs.

How long she’d been holding her breath, she couldn’t say. But once she could hear them no longer, she let it out on a shaky exhale.

Despite the chill of the pantry, she remained there for several moments, trying to make sense of what she’d heard.

Peris wanted to get rid of Hew because he was “meddlesome.” What did that mean?

Whatever they were up to, Peris believed his soul was damned. Enough so that killing a defenseless man would hardly tarnish it further. What “business” could the physician be up to? What “spoils” did he intend to share?

She took a thoughtful bite of buttered bread.

Hew had spoken about a secret investigation. The monastery thefts. Could that be the matter they were discussing? But what could the physician have to do with that?

She had to share what she’d heard. But she couldn’t go to her father. She didn’t want him to worry. Not before she got more details.

She needed to tell Hew.

With any luck, he’d forget all about her indiscretions of last night, especially after she gave him this startling news.

She stuffed the bread into her mouth with a haste that would have horrified her father. Then she snatched up a block of cheese, a crock of butter, and tucked the rest of the loaf under her arm. Praying the two conspirators had had time to return to their beds, she stole from the pantry, across the great hall, and up the stairs.

“Sir Hew!”

Carenza’s whisper was sharp and urgent enough to rouse him from a deep sleep.

“What is it?”

He pushed himself up, wincing as he forgot about his injured palm.

“I need to talk to ye.”

Dropping some sort of parcels on the bed, she moved to the hearth and stirred the coals to life so they could see each other.

He raked his hair back and blinked the sleep from his eyes.

Carenza looked charmingly disheveled. He realized he actually preferred her that way. She might need to appear perfect for her clan. But he rather liked her imperfections.

She wheeled away from the fire and said, “’Twasn’t an accident.”

He was still half-asleep. “What are you talking about?”

“The opium.”

Was she upset about what she’d said to him while she was drugged?

“There’s no need to fret. I’ll forget what you said last night. And you can forget what I said the day before.”

“But that’s just it,” she said. She neared the bed and began unwrapping the parcels. “Are ye hungry?”

“In the middle of the night?” he asked. Then he realized he was. “I could eat. What have you got? And where did you get it?”

“Cheese. I’ve just been to the pantry,” she said, drawing her eating dagger and slicing off a piece for him.

He shoved it into his mouth, talking around it. “The pantry? How did you…” How had she managed to escape? Some guard he was. He wondered if she’d been up for hours in an opium stupor, gushing to every man in the keep how much she wanted to kiss him.

“That’s not important,” she said. “’Tis what I heard that’s important.”

“What you heard?”

“Men whisperin’,” she said, popping a piece of cheese between her teeth, chewing as she spoke. “One of them was Peris.”

“The physician?”

“Aye. The opium that morn? ’Twas no accident. He was tryin’ to kill ye.”

“How do you know that?”

“He admitted as much.”

“Why would he—”

“Ye know what I think?” she said, gesturing with a second piece of cheese. “I think he’s part o’ your monastery thefts.”

Hew stopped chewing. His head was spinning. He already suspected the physician, simply because of his access to the monastery.

She took another nibble. “He was tryin’ to get rid o’ ye, because he knows ye’re investigatin’ the thefts.”

He swallowed the cheese. “You said two men?”

“Aye. I didn’t recognize the voice o’ the second.”

But it appeared she’d been right. There were two thieves.

She continued. “He was upset that Peris had tried to kill ye. He said ’twould draw too much attention.”

“Attention?”

“Aye. He said ye were too important and…” She trailed off.

“And?”

She answered in a rushed mumble. “And that my father had designs on ye for his heir.” But before Hew could begin to enjoy that heartwarming fantasy, she added, “He was also afraid ’twould draw the attention o’ Father James.”

“Father James?”

“Aye. He said the father was already suspicious about your presence at Kildunan.”

He’d felt that. Father James’s eyes missed nothing, and his mind seemed as keen as his gaze. If the father learned what Hew was investigating, it wouldn’t be long before the king found out.

“So,” she said, her eyes gleaming with intrigue, “what are we to do?”

“We are to do naught.” This had become too close for comfort. “I will look into matters more deeply.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Ye’re bedridden.”

“I’m not bedridden.” Indeed, after he shook off the last of his sweating, shivering need for opium, he intended to get up and around and make himself useful.

“Ye need someone on the outside. Someone with unlimited access. Someone who can dig up more information. Someone,” she said, raising her brows meaningfully, “they’ll never suspect.”

He hesitated. He hated to admit it, but she was right about that. Nobody would question Carenza’s motives or suspect she was assisting him. Not only was she a woman. She was the laird’s irreproachable daughter. It would help to have her poking her nose into things.

“Ye know I’m right,” she added.

“What about the monastery?” he challenged her. “The second thief has to come from there, aye? They’re not about to let a woman within the walls of Kildunan to question all the monks.”

“The second thief doesn’t have to come from the monastery. Peris has access. He goes there all the time. The second man could be the one who stashes or sells the valuables.”

Hew narrowed his gaze. “Which one said Father James was growing suspicious—Peris or the other man?”

“The other man.”

“Right. So he’s the one with the knowledge o’ what happens at Kildunan.”

“Och. Aye.” She thought for a moment. “Then I could find out who ’tis by questionin’ Peris.”

“He’s going to wonder why. And eventually he’ll know you suspect him of something. He’s anxious and impulsive. If he tried to kill me…” He let the sentence hang. The idea of Peris hurting Carenza was too awful to think about.

She scoffed. “He won’t touch a hair on my head. My father would…string him up by his ballocks.”

Hew choked back a laugh. He doubted the delicate maiden had ever voiced such a crude phrase aloud before. It amused him. It also flattered him that she felt safe enough with him to mince no words.

Still, it didn’t feel right, getting Carenza involved in such a perilous game. She didn’t understand the kind of men and the desperation she was dealing with. Hew did. He saw it every day, defending the border and keeping the peace.

“My lady,” he decided, “this is not like reiving a coo. This is thievery on a grand scale, perpetrated against the church. Those involved will be severely punished. Maybe even hanged. That kind of threat will drive a man to do unspeakable things.”

“I can look after myself,” she assured him. “Trust me. Peris wouldn’t hurt me.”

“You didn’t believe Peris would intentionally try to kill me either.”

“I do now.”

He shook his head. “I don’t like this. If something were to happen to you…”

“If somethin’ were to happen to me,” she said with irritating practicality, “ye’d go to Kildunan and take your vows, the same as before.”

That was the lie he’d told her. And to be honest, if something happened to her, he might decide to withdraw into the life of a monk and make his vow of chastity permanent. But that wasn’t the way he felt now.

“I couldn’t live if I lost you,” he murmured.

When her eyes widened, he realized he’d bared too much of his heart.

So he amended his words. “For a knight to lose the lady he’s supposed to protect is a disgrace.”

“I see,” she said softly, obviously injured by the retraction. “Well, no one said ye needed to protect me.”

He wanted to go to her then. To take her in his arms and hold her close. To swear to protect her with his life. Forever.

But knowing what he knew now about her feelings…how much she desired him…how she’d imagined his kiss and longed for more…

Protecting her now meant protecting her from him. From his impulsive and intense nature. From his powerful passion. From the haste with which the storm of his desires could build and grow and overwhelm a lass.

He had to keep her at arm’s length. Forget her seductive midnight confessions. Maintain a distance that would keep her honor intact.

He owed it to her father. He owed it to her.

“’Tis a knight’s duty to protect all women,” he told her.

Carenza’s heart sank.

“O’ course.”

She’d spilled her innermost secrets to Hew. Shared her darkest desires. They’d kept each other’s confidences. Saved each other’s lives.

Now he felt as cold as the depths of a loch.

Was she truly just “all women” to him? Did he have no feelings for her?

His nonchalance hurt her. Then it irritated her. Then it made her angry.

She wouldn’t let her anger show, of course. That was not the way a laird’s daughter behaved.

But she intended to prove to him she was one woman who didn’t need protecting.

She was not some helpless damsel in distress who needed a big, strong Viking warrior to rescue her. He had no authority over her. She need not abide by his wishes. She would investigate the thefts. She would question Peris. And if he didn’t like it, he could mince off to the monastery and join the other monks who were hiding from the world.

“I should be goin’,” she murmured.

“Going? Where? ’Tis the middle of the night.”

“’Tis All Souls Day.”

“I doubt the souls will mind waiting in the graveyard at least until dawn.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m not tired. I slept enough for two days. Besides, ’tis always a difficult day for my Da. He still mourns my Ma.”

Hew nodded and sighed. “’Tis hard to lose someone you love.”

She wondered at that. Hew was yet a young man. What would he know about love and loss?

“Shall I leave ye the cheese?” she asked.

“Aye, thank you.”

She started toward the door, then remembered. “I think ye’re safe with Peris now.”

“I’m done with opium anyway.” He added softly, “But I think I would prefer your tender care anyway.”

She bit her cheek, annoyed. What game was he playing? Aloof and distancing one moment? Warm and inviting the next?

She faked a smile of apology. “I really need to look after my father today.”

He nodded.

She almost made it to the door before he said, “You won’t do anything foolish like question the physician, right?”

She scoffed. “Don’t be daft.”

Damn. That was exactly what she meant to do. In fact, she’d thought of a way to squeeze the information from Peris as easily as getting milk from a coo.

Of course she wasn’t going to tell Hew that. But he’d thank her later when she single-handedly uncovered the second thief.

The door closed.

Hew frowned.

Don’t be daft, she’d said. That wasn’t the answer he wanted. He expected something more reassuring.

Like O’ course I won’t do such an unwise thing.

Or Nay, ye’re right, ’tis too dangerous for a woman.

Or Why would I do that when I’ve got a strong, noble, chivalrous Rivenloch warrior at my beck and call?

But nay, she’d left him completely without assurance.

And the more he thought about it, the more he worried that was exactly what she meant to do.

He popped the last bit of cheese into his mouth and threw aside the coverlet. His arms still burned, and he’d needed to change the bandage on his hand. But he couldn’t afford to waste another day drowsing in the laird’s bedchamber. Treachery was afoot. And The Woman He Loved was in peril.