Chapter 15
Kat
Cillian and Reed sit close together at a new kitchen table Reed brought over this morning and the two of them put together in silence while I slept. Cill’s still in his gray sweatpants and a white tee. Reed’s at least dressed in jeans and a dark navy Henley.
With sleep still in my eyes, I came down to see the two of them putting the last screws in. Reed can barely look me in the eye and the only thing he’s said to me is that he’s sorry he didn’t answer last night. He had a lot to think about.
There’s a sadness between us that doesn’t fit right but I’ve tried to swallow it down all morning.
I made them coffee an hour ago and I know for a fact it’s cold by now. Neither one of them seems to have noticed. They just keep talking in low voices that make it impossible to hear a damn thing.
I should be grateful that they’re both there, sitting side by side, not murdering each other.
“More coffee?” I ask, holding up the pot. I’ve had two cups and it’s still not enough to make me feel awake enough for whatever’s going on.
They don’t answer. I pick up the two mugs. They don’t notice. I dump them out in the sink. Still nothing.
“Are you going to let me in on what you’re planning? I know it has to do with Cavanaugh.” I fill up the mugs with fresh coffee and take them back to the table.
“I don’t think this is something you need to be a part of, Kat,” Reed says, accepting his coffee and still not looking me in the eye. I fucking hate it.
Blowing out my frustration, I close the cabinet door carelessly after putting the sugar back and say, “Cillian, if you’re going back to the Crest to deal with your uncle, I deserve to know about it.”
“When it’s all said and done, Hellcat,” Cill answers, blowing across the top of his coffee. He doesn’t look me in the eye either.
I bang my fist on the table between them.
It finally makes Reed shut up. “Tell me,” I demand.
“I don’t know what the hell you two think you’re doing.
You didn’t tell me shit back then, but you’re going to tell me everything right now or I’ll fucking lose it, Cill.
You too, Reed. What the hell is going on? ”
Cill’s lips pick up in a smirk. “Well good morning, Hellcat,” he murmurs, his pale blue eyes piercing right through me in a way that’s sinful.
I’m caught for a moment as he sips his coffee.
“I thought you could hear us, Hellcat.”
“How could I possibly hear you when you’re whispering?” I bend down and kiss his cheek, leaving both palms on the table and leaning down low enough that I’m more than sure he can see right down my baggy sleep shirt. “Tell me. Now.”
Reed and Cill share a glance that would piss me off if I wasn’t sure I had their attention. “We’re figuring out what to do with him,” Reed says.
“Who?”
“My uncle,” Cill says. Pain flashes in his eyes as fear engulfs me. “We’re comparing notes. Figuring out what really happened.”
Reed stands up from his seat before Cill is finished speaking. “I’ve got to go call someone. I’ll be back in a minute.”
“Where are you going?” I ask.
“Just to the porch,” he answers and knowing he’s not going far settles the unease inside of me.
“Don’t do anything stupid,” I tell him although I’m not sure he hears as the front door shuts, my throat thick with frustration.
This was how they were before Cill went away.
Planning things together. Getting in trouble together.
I could talk them out of things, but honestly, I didn’t most of the time.
I was always riding in the passenger seat and chiming in to tell the stories later at Cavanaugh.
Nothing major. We never got arrested. But I was Cill’s hellcat, for better or for worse.
I’m older now, though, and someone has to think about these things.
“What exactly are you two going to do?” I say and glare at Cill. An amused smile curves his lips and he stands up from his seat at the table. My heart pounds like they’re taking action right this minute instead of just making plans.
“Don’t be scared, Hellcat.”
“I’m not scared.” The words stumble off my lips as I make my way back to the corner of the cabinets, leaning against the counter. “I’m pissed. I’m fucking pissed, Cillian.” I take refuge in my mug of coffee.
He crosses the kitchen, the legs of the chair scraping across the linoleum floor as he gets up.
“You don’t look pissed,” he counters, his steps steadily bringing him closer to me. The mug clinks on the counter as I set it down, my attention never leaving Cill. “Fine … maybe I’m scared.”
He closes the distance between us and rests his forehead against mine before kissing the tip of my nose and whispering, “Yeah. Me too.”
As much as I love his comforting touch, I pull away, making sure he understands how serious I am.
“I’m scared to lose you—I can’t go through that again.
” His lips brush against mine in an attempt to silence me, calm me, or just love on me, I’m not sure.
But I can’t shake this uncertainty so I gently push him back.
“If your uncle planted shit here when he broke in—if he’s already trying to fuck you over—I’ll fucking kill him.
” The words leave me without a second thought.
Peering up at Cillian, I watch his brow raise and then the grin grow on his handsome face, his cheek still bruised.
“My little hellcat,” Cillian says, and he kisses me. Not just a light peck. It’s not a move to soothe me. It’s a kiss I know he needs just as much as I do.
And just like then, his mouth on mine makes me forget to fight everyone.
It makes me forget we’re up against his uncle, and seemingly the rest of the world. He flicks his tongue against mine and I forget it all. I forget to be heartbroken that Cavanaugh let me down after Cill’s arrest. I forget everything but how good it feels to be with him.
The hum of the refrigerator kicks on and I fall deeper into the kiss.
Cill pushes me up against the counter, the space between us lighting on fire. As he presses up against me, I’m made aware that Cill’s hard and I tease myself by rubbing against him until he groans. “If you’re going to do that, Hellcat, we should find a bedroom.”
Just then Reed comes back in, the front door slamming shut behind him. “Damn it,” Cill says. He kisses me one more time and pulls away.
Reed’s footsteps are heavy and I’m still catching my breath as Cill turns to face him. It doesn’t make sense that I should feel as guilty as I do when Reed catches my eye.
“What did he say?”
“Yeah. He meets every other week.” He paces through the kitchen, his hand running through his hair. Cill glances back at me as I ask, “What's going on?”
“My uncle was seen with a man a few times. Reed hired someone to follow him after he found the coke upstairs. He’s an agent.”
“An agent? Like–”
“Like, an agent of the Federal Bureau of Investigation … my uncle’s the rat.”
Reed chimes in. “If he’s working for the feds, what the fuck are we going to do?”
“I’m not leaving,” Cill says.
Reed stares at him. “Why the fuck would you stay? I’ve wanted out since you left. It’s been fucking hell.”
“You think there’s nothing worth fighting for? What about Finn?”
“He thinks the same,” Reed counters. “He’s counting the fucking days. He told me when you got out—someone was going to die. I can feel it, Cillian.”
Cillian’s silence speaks to his disagreement.
“You don’t know how far it’s gone.” Reed is quiet and serious.
“Nobody else is going to jail because of him. If someone’s going down, it’s going to be my uncle.”
“Then I hope it’s only him that’s a rat. ’Cause if it’s anyone else, we’re fucked.”
My stomach knots as my mind speeds ahead through what that would mean.
If Cill’s uncle has gotten his claws into Cavanaugh, they’re already against us. If more of them are working with the feds, then it means there’s no safe place for Cill to be anymore. Just avoiding the club won’t be enough. They’ll be looking for ways to put him back in jail.
But more than that, it’ll mean that the family we once had is as good as dead.
“It’s worth it,” Cill says. “If there’s a chance to put it back together again, we have to take it.”
“It’s not fucking worth it,” Reed argues. “Do you hear what you’re saying? It’s not worth it for you to be in jail!” Reed’s voice breaks on the last word. Everything he feels echoes in myself.
“Cillian, please—” I start to say, trying to reason with him.
“If my uncle comes after us, that’s just as bad as being locked up. Fuck it, Reed. I’m not going to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder. If you really think he’s all there is to Cavanaugh, then by all means, don’t try to take him down. But I think you know better.”
“Damn it, Cill.” Reed shakes his head.
Cill looks at me. “What do you think, Hellcat? You think it’s over at Cavanaugh?”
All of my earliest memories of the club flick through my mind. I was at home in the rec room, and the garage. I never felt out of place there. Even as a little girl, if I wanted to know something about one of the bikes, some tall man wearing black leather and a grin would explain it to me.
Cavanaugh’s the reason we’re all standing in this kitchen together. If we hadn’t had that, we wouldn’t be here.
And Cavanaugh’s been dead to me since Cill’s father was buried six feet under.
“If your uncle’s working with the feds, I think you tell the Cross brothers, you tell the Valettis. You let it leak to the men who can take care of it and we get the hell out. Ask someone at The Ruin where we can go.”
“Where’s my hellcat?” Cill murmurs, disappointment evident.
“Protecting you, Cillian. Keeping you from getting in deeper when you never should have been involved.”
“Listen to her, please, man,” Reed pleads with Cillian who looks between the two of us with disbelief.
“It’s the Crest … what are you two fucking saying—”