Chapter 29
Wyatt stood against the bulwark at the bow of his ship, watching the twinkling night lights of Breezeport. They’d arrived at port past sunset and quite some time after Omen had arrived, but it still seemed early to go and meet Rue. Well, that and he was nervous to discover if she was upset with him about the run-in with Carolina. In his nervous anticipation, it felt as though he’d been standing there for hours trying to build up the courage to leave the ship, but when he checked his pocket watch for the sixth time, he found it had only been twenty minutes.
The only thing that made him want to leave the ship and face potential disappointment from Rue was Simon, who was still acting suspicious of him. If he glanced over his shoulder that very moment, he’d find Simon sitting on the quarterdeck stairs, shamelessly watching. And he did glance over his shoulder, though he regretted it as soon as he did, because Simon stood and started over. He went back to staring at Breezeport’s lights, clearing his throat uncomfortably as footsteps approached from behind, until Simon stood at his side.
“Mr. Beecher,” he greeted quietly.
“Mr. Kim,” Simon returned, rolling his shoulders and folding his hands behind his back as he settled himself there. “Having a good night?”
Wyatt nodded. Ever since Simon had threatened him in Chestwil, he couldn’t help but overanalyze everything Simon said, and hoped it wasn’t obvious to Simon how intimidated he was. But how else should he have felt about the Caster? When even such an innocent question as ‘having a good night?’ sounded so insidious it felt like a threat.
“And you, Sir?” he asked.
“I’m restless, Mr. Kim,” Simon said. “What’s Carolina Trace doing on a Sovereign Island?”
“I’m not sure,” he answered.
“How long will we be here?”
“I don’t know,” Wyatt answered. “But if my informant tells me, I’ll have an answer.”
Simon hummed. “For someone who asks so many damn questions, you don’t have nearly enough answers.”
Wyatt did his very best to keep his irritation off his face, and said flatly, “I’m sorry to disappoint you.”
“Never mind,” Simon said, and leaned forward to set his hands on the railing. “It appears Mr. Penny has just caught up.”
That caught Wyatt completely off guard, and his eyes went wide. “Penny?” he asked. “The pirate from Chestwil?”
“Yes,” Simon answered, pushing off the bulwark to head toward the ramp as a group of men down on the docks strode toward them.
“What did you do? Why’s he here?”
“You think I haven’t seen you?” Simon asked as he stopped at the top of the ramp. “Sneaking around, having secret meetings with your little friend and the bounty hunters. You think I truly believe you don’t have any answers?” Simon turned toward him even though he purposefully avoided meeting Simon’s gaze. “I made myself an ally and bought him a ship on Sovereign’s dominion, Mr. Kim. An ally that I can be sure will do everything in his power to get me what I want.”
“You’d trust a pirate like that?”
“Oh, my simple-minded friend,” Simon laughed, “I wouldn’t make the mistake of trusting any pirate at all. But I trust that they’ll do what they’re told in exchange for something they want.”
Wyatt’s brow furrowed. “What does Penny want?”
Simon let a lingering pause pass between them as the pirates ascended the ramp, and then said, “Omen,” as they arrived. It left Wyatt standing there in stunned silence as he grinned at the men, greeting cheerfully, “Mr. Penny!”
“Beecher,” Penny greeted, clapping his hand into Simon’s outstretched one. They shook as Vinson scanned Sky’s Honor’s deck, and then he stepped into Wyatt’s space and looked him up and down as he asked, “Is this the chaperone captain?”
Wyatt’s upper lip curled, but he refused to step back no matter how much the lack of distance made his skin crawl .
“Never mind him,” Simon said. “How’s the ship?”
“It’ll do for now,” Vinson said, finally stepping out of Wyatt’s space to return to Simon.
“Good,” Simon said. “I can imagine how impatient you must be, but I need your crew to remain on board, ready to follow us as soon as we leave.”
“If it gets me Omen,” Vinson smirked, “I’ll wait as long as you like.”
“Good man.” Simon clapped him on the shoulder. “We’ll speak again soon.”
Vinson nodded and gestured at the others to follow him back to the ramp, but on his way past Wyatt, he jerked toward him threateningly. Wyatt only flinched with a blink, but it still made Penny and his men bellow with laughter as they descended back to the docks.
“You’d ally with the likes of him?” Wyatt muttered. “Where’s your loyalty?”
“My loyalty, Mr. Kim,” Simon sneered, “is to the empire, and I will do whatever I must for it to prevail.”
Wyatt faced him with a scowl. “Even if it means sinking twelve islands and killing tens of thousands?”
Simon huffed, and his nostrils flared as he paced to the bulwark. “I won’t need those islands once I Ascend,” he said, and he turned toward Wyatt with a dark smirk. “But yes, I’d kill tens of thousands. I’d kill as many as I needed to for Sovereign’s reign.”
Wyatt tried not to show how much that infuriated him, and he swallowed down his hatred to try and reason instead, “And how does it benefit Sovereign’s reign to give a ship like Omen to a pirate like Penny? We should be arresting them.”
Simon laughed, stopped to look at the surprise on Wyatt’s face, and then laughed again as he asked, “Do you really think any pirate, even one so great as Carolina Trace, could withstand an incursion if Sovereign really wanted them dealt with?”
Wyatt gritted his teeth while he tried to work out what that meant, because it sounded like Simon was saying Sovereign didn’t want to get rid of pirates. But… why?
“Dominions, Admiral,” Simon sighed. “The taxes Sovereign takes from merchants pales in comparison to the dominions made from chaperone services.”
Wyatt inhaled deeply to keep his instinctive protest from turning into an outburst, but that couldn’t be true. Soldiers died all the time on chaperone crews, it was one of the most dangerous posts to have, and Simon wanted him to think that didn’t matter. That Sovereign would sacrifice all those loyal soldiers just to squeeze extra dominions out of merchants. But… Anseau was in the process of sacrificing tens of thousands of innocent lives for power, and Simon just said he’d sacrifice more, so was it a stretch to say either of them would do the same for wealth?
“My father wouldn’t have had me stationed with a chaperone crew if that were true,” he stated.
“But, Mr. Kim,” Simon said, with an exaggerated sympathy that Wyatt could only interpret as fake, “you’re a decorated Admiral on one of the most successful escort ships Sovereign’s ever had. If you perished in battle, you’d die a hero.”
…And his father would gain all the pride and esteem that his death came with.
Wyatt turned toward Simon, working his jaw back and forth as he stared over the top of Simon’s head. He hated that Simon was patronizing, and insulting, and telling him all of this just to be malicious. But most of all, more than anything, he hated that he knew it was true.
“Excuse me,” he said through clenched teeth, “I have somewhere to be.”
He didn’t wait for a response because he couldn’t stand there for one more second under Simon’s smug gaze. He headed straight for the ramp, not caring anymore if it wasn’t time for him to meet Rue because he didn’t know what else to do.
He hurried to the largest tavern at the quickest pace he could without turning it into a jog, and practically burst through the doors as he arrived. He headed straight for the stairs and took them two at a time, and only slowed to scan the space under each door for the brim of Rue’s hat. When he found it, he went in, picked up the hat to toss it onto the bed, and shut the door behind him.
There was too much emotion burning in his chest for him to sit down or even light a candle, so he paced instead. He worked a line between the bed and the chair in the corner of the room, stabbing his thumbnail into the tip of his middle finger to focus on the jolt of pain instead of the building frenzy in the rest of him. It was only after a minute of pacing that he finally realized how dark the room was, and that he was alone. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and took a deep breath to calm himself enough to check the moonlit room .
He found the nightstand and pulled a matchbook from the drawer, using it to light the candle on the small table near the window, and once he did, he noticed the note on the table.
‘Not sure what time I’ll be back,’ he read as he picked up the note, angling it toward the candlelight. ‘Will probably be late. If you can, please wait.’
And the disappointment of not seeing Rue until later coupled with everything else he was feeling finally boiled all that emotion down into one single thing. Sadness.
His eyes flooded with tears as he was overcome with immense, agonizing grief over the fact that not only did his father not love him like he thought, but he wanted him dead. Or, at the very least, didn’t care if he was dead as long as it brought him a little more glory. No matter how much he’d disappointed his father, no matter how many times his father had been heavy-handed in his corrections, he’d always told himself it was because his father wanted him to succeed. But that wasn’t true, was it? And he couldn’t keep the sob in his chest from bubbling up and escaping his throat.
He didn’t even make it to the bed to lie down and cry properly, and instead dropped onto the floor beside it, curling himself into a ball to let his tears fall to the worn wood beneath him. And he sobbed, and rocked, and he cried himself dry, until he was so exhausted of it that he couldn’t keep his eyes open, and he fell asleep.
Sometime later, he was startled awake by a shouted, “Wyatt!”
Rue slid to the floor at his side as he scrambled up to sit, sighing with relief that it was only her and clutching at his racing heart.
“What are you doing?” Rue asked, on her knees in front of him as he leaned back against the side of the bed. “I thought you were hurt.” She leaned back a little as she looked at him, her eyebrows meeting in the middle as she set a hand on his leg. “Were you crying?” He inhaled a deep breath as he nodded, and Rue reached up to cup his cheek, her thumb caressing under his eye even though his face was dry. She touched him gently like that for several seconds before reaching for both of his hands. “Come on,” she said, standing and pulling him up only to pat the edge of the bed. “Sit here.” He did, and she sat down beside him. “What happened?”
He leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, steepling his hands around his nose and mouth for a moment to try and calm the whirlwind returning to his chest. After a couple of deep breaths, he sat straight again and said, “Simon told me the truth. That Sovereign doesn’t care to end piracy because of the dominions it makes from chaperone services.”
Rue thought about it for a couple seconds and then nodded. “I guess that makes sense.”
“It’s the most dangerous place to be stationed,” he added.
“Right,” she agreed, “and why has that made you cry?”
“Because,” he said, feeling fresh tears well in his eyes, “my father assigned me to that post.”
There was a long moment of silence, and then Rue breathed, “Oh.” She took his hand in hers. “Oh, Wyatt, I’m so sorry.”
He wiped away the single tear that escaped with his free hand, and desperately tried to blink away the moisture before any more could fall because he was already embarrassed about her finding him like this. “I knew he was ashamed of me, I just…” He shrugged. “I thought there was some part of him that loved me in spite of it.”
Her other hand closed around his so that she was holding it between both of hers, and they sat there in a sad silence for several moments while she shook her head, until she suddenly said, “You know what? No.”
“What?” he asked.
“Screw him,” she said, standing up and gesturing passionately toward the door. “Screw him and screw Simon Beecher. Those assholes don’t deserve you, and I don’t care what happens after all of this is over, you’re going to stop letting them make you feel ashamed of who you are. You are a kind, intelligent, attractive man, Wyatt Kim. So mourn the love you thought you had, fine. But then you’re going to look in that mirror,” she pointed toward the tiny mirror atop the nightstand, “and realize that you don’t need their approval to be great.”
He stared at her for a beat of silence while the heat of the shame and sadness in his chest cooled, and then he smiled and said, “Thank you, Rue, but you don’t have to say all that just to make me feel better.”
She pursed her lips and shrugged. “You’re right,” she said as she dropped back down at his side, “I didn’t mean the attractive part.”
He laughed, “You’re doing wonders for my self-worth, thank you.”
“Forever at your service, Admiral,” she giggled, saluting stiffly.
He laughed about it for a few moments more, and though she’d helped lighten the weight of his grief, his smile still faded. He went back to staring sadly at his folded hands, until a few moments later when Rue’s hand slid slowly between his. She laced her fingers with his, and he looked up at her because it felt different than when she’d done it a minute before to comfort him.
And it was different. He glanced briefly into her eyes and, before he could look away, she leaned in. She set her forehead against his so their noses were touching, so he could feel the heat of her breath against his lips, and he did what he’d been purposefully avoiding thinking about. He kissed her. And it was even better than he hadn’t thought, because her lips were soft and full, and they parted to deepen the kiss before closing slowly against his again. He lifted his free hand to cup her face, and while her lips parted a second time and she seemed to lean into his touch, her free hand set against his chest. And after their lips came together again, she pulled away.
Though not completely. She left her hand where it was and kept her forehead against his, brushing his mouth with hers for a moment before whispering, “We shouldn’t have done that.”
“Why not?” he asked, letting his hand fall from her cheek.
“Because I don’t know that we could ever work,” she answered.
“Why not?” he asked again.
“Because,” she said with a quiet chuckle, “I’m a pirate with abandonment issues and you’re a legacy officer on a chaperone crew.”
He shrugged, and before he could fully think about what he was saying, said, “Maybe not forever.”
Rue pulled away completely to look at him. “What?”
“Every time I think about what Beecher told me,” he answered, “I can’t help thinking about what you said the first night we met at a tavern. That I’d never be able to do the right thing so long as it was for Sovereign.”
“You want out?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” he groaned, rubbing his hands over his face. “I just… Even though it was dangerous, I joined a chaperone crew because I thought it was the right thing. I thought, ‘how could it ever be simpler than protecting goods from being stolen?’ And then it turns out that not even that is sacred.” He sighed heavily and shook his head. “Everything I thought I knew is a lie, and the more I learn, the more it appears that Sovereign taints everything it gets its hands on. That’s not me. That’s not who I want to be.”
She stared at him for several seconds and then asked, “You’re not just saying all that because I kissed you? ”
“No,” he said, and shrugged, “but it might help sway me if you did it again.”
“I’d say the odds of it happening again are in your favor, Admiral,” she laughed, replacing her hand in his. “The only thing more attractive than a good man is a man whose goodness is its own rebellion.”
He hummed and teased, “And here I thought it was my rugged good looks.”
She smiled as her thumb caressed the back of his hand, but her smile faded quickly, and she said seriously, “If you make that decision, Wyatt, then make sure it’s what you want.”
He nodded with grave understanding. He had no doubt that if he ever defected, his father’s shame would make him one of the most hunted people in the empire. “It’s hard to know what you really want when you don’t even know what’s real.”
“Your compassion is real,” she told him, touching one fingertip to his chest, “trust that.”
He nodded as he reached up to set his hand over hers, and then lifted her hand to press a kiss to it. She sighed and looked at him for several long moments like she wanted to say something else, but she didn’t, and so he let the moment pass.
“Do you know where you’re headed next?” he asked.
Rue shook her head. “And I don’t suspect that I’ll have time to tell you once we learn. This is it, I think. You’ll have to start following us.”
“Oh, Rue,” he said, swallowing down the sudden nervousness. “We, um… may have had a run-in with Carolina back on Chestwil.”
She hummed. “I heard.”
He studied her face for a long, anxious pause before finally asking, “You’re not angry with me?”
“No,” she said, giving his hand a squeeze. “It’s my fault for thinking you could go undetected. And it was only a matter of time.” She sighed. “It will make it more difficult for us to meet, though. Carolina’s added extra bodies to the watch crew to prevent anyone from sneaking off the ship.”
“How did you sneak off?” he asked.
“I didn’t,” she answered. “We’re here sorting through the archives, so I told Carolina I was going to stay late and keep searching. It was the truth, anyway. If I can find any documents that would help her, I might be able to hide them before she sees it. ”
“Smart,” he told her, and then mumbled, “Oh,” as he remembered something else.
“What?” Rue asked.
“Beecher doesn’t trust me,” he said, “ at all . So, he, um, he made an alliance outside my crew while we were at Chestwil.”
Rue’s brow furrowed. “Who?”
“A pirate,” he answered. “Someone named Vinson Penny.”
Rue shot off the bed. “Vinson fucking Penny?”
“It’s my fault,” he said, dropping his head. “I didn’t know this would happen, and I let Penny’s name slip when telling Beecher about the incident. I’m sorry.”
But she shook her head and pointed at him. “You will not take responsibility for anything that miserable fop does.”
“You lot really don’t like him,” he observed.
“He’s got no code,” she said. “No morals. He does what he wants, when he wants, no matter who suffers.” She sighed heavily. “We destroyed his ship. Is he with you on Sky’s Honor?”
“No,” he said. “I assume Beecher called for a temporary ship from Sovereign.”
“And what’s he getting in exchange?” she asked. “I know Penny isn’t helping Sovereign for free.”
He almost hesitated to say, “Omen.”
Rue laughed, and he must’ve appeared confused by that, because she said, “He’s delusional.”
“Beecher doesn’t seem to think so,” he told her.
“There are three things that Carolina would die for, do you know what they are?” she asked. He shook his head. “Family, or those she considers so,” she said, counting on her fingers, “her freedom, and her ship .” She laughed again and shook her head. “She’s finally going to gut Vinson Penny and that’ll be a glorious day for everyone.”
“But the numbers, Rue,” he said. “If Penny’s crew joins ours, Omen will be heavily outnumbered.”
She sobered a bit, nodded, and sat back down beside him. “What about your crew? How many of them are loyal to you no matter what side you’re on?”
“Carter,” he said, and shrugged. “Beyond that, I don’t know.”
“Have you made any headway with the bounty hunters? ”
“Piers is with us,” he answered. “He’s a friend now. As for his fathers… they’ve pledged not to aid Beecher, and that’s all we may get from them.”
“That’s better than nothing,” she said.
He nodded, and they sat there in silence for a minute, during which she reached over to hold his hand again. “Rue?” he asked, and she hummed. “If I were to leave Sovereign… what would… where… How?”
“I guess that depends on what you wanted to do with your life,” she said.
“I’ve never thought about it before,” he told her, and glanced down at their hands. “What if I wanted you to be a part of it?”
She looked over at him, and though he felt too vulnerable to look her in the face, he knew that she was smiling softly at him. “I’d say you’re the first person who’s ever said that that I believed.”
“Probably because it was the truth,” he said, and added with a laugh, “and I’m a terrible liar.”
“You are,” she laughed in agreement. But her smile faded quickly as she let out a deep breath and dropped her chin to stare down at her lap. “If Carolina ever finds out what we’re doing, I don’t know if she’d ever forgive me.” She paused and thought to herself for another quiet minute. “If that ever happened, I don’t know what would happen between you and me.” She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “I’m trying to be as honest with you as I can.” He nodded. “But, if you ever leave Sovereign, Wyatt, and I’m not there to guide you, then you need to get to Cinder.”
“The pirate island?” he asked.
“Yes,” she answered. “We stop in every few months, and no matter what happens between us, I’ll help you figure out what to do next.” He nodded, and she caressed his hand with her thumb and said, “I’m sorry if that’s not the assurance of my affection that you were looking for.”
“It’s alright,” he told her. “Everything is complicated, and you’re here with me now, so…” He shrugged.
She slid her hand out of his and reached up to cup his jaw, turning his face toward hers to kiss him again. And that time, she kissed him so deeply that his body flushed with heat. He melted into her. Into her lips, and her touch, and his hand set on her hip to pull her a little closer, and for a minute, she let him. Then she stopped kissing him, and he struggled not to pant against her mouth as she gave him one last peck and sank back into sitting beside him.
“I should go,” she murmured .
“Can I stay?” he asked, and she looked up at him as her head cocked. “I just don’t want to face Beecher yet.”
“Of course,” she answered. She faced forward, hesitated for a few moments, and then stood. “Right, then,” she said, arms swinging as she turned toward the door. “I guess I should go… Hopefully I’ll be able to see you again.”
“You could,” he began to say as he stood. “You could stay too, if you wanted.”
She looked from him to the bed, then to the door and back at him. “I really shouldn’t. John fell asleep, but I don’t know if he’ll wake.”
“It’s alright,” he said, offering an understanding smile. “Goodnight, Rue.”
She pushed onto her tip toes to kiss his cheek and said, “Goodnight, Wyatt.”
His smile widened even though she took a few steps backward toward the door, and she grinned at him in return until she turned away. He stood there watching her as she made her way to the door, thinking about how he’d draw this moment when he did return to Sky’s Honor, but then she stopped. She stood there with her back to him, tapping the door handle for a few long seconds before she finally turned around again.
“What is it?” he asked.
She inhaled, opened her mouth to say something, and then shut it again as she tapped her fingers against her thigh. Then she huffed, “Screw it,” and rushed forward.
His heart floundered with excitement as she crashed into him, wrapping her arms around his neck to find his lips with hers. And he knew that she meant it when she said he shouldn’t make the decision to defect for anyone but himself, and he agreed with her. But that didn’t mean he shouldn’t factor other things into that decision, and as he sat down on the bed and she followed, straddling his lap without once breaking their kiss, he realized that she was quickly becoming one of the biggest reasons on his steadily growing list.