Chapter 9
Legacy
Two weeks and nothing happened. There was no contact from the Hunters, no threats, nothing. It would have been easier if there had been. At least that way I would have had something to do other than lie on Kate”s sofa and think about the night she told me never to touch her again.
She meant it as well. She could hardly even look at me now, and I knew why.
She knew as well.
That’s why she wouldn’t meet my eyes.
It made living together pretty much a complete nightmare. And it was all my fault.
I shouldn’t have gone into her room looking for her. What I had to say could have waited until morning.
I definitely shouldn’t have touched her lips, even if it was her that took my finger into her mouth.
And I sure as hell shouldn’t have opened my mouth and broken the spell that had settled over us.
That was the real reason Kate wouldn’t look at me now. Because she had wanted me as much as I had wanted her. And she felt guilty about it.
I felt guilty as well.
But I still cursed myself for opening my mouth and talking.
“I thought you were going to bring Kate.” Leaning up against the wall next to me, Duke followed my gaze to Conner. “He’s a good kid. She did a good job raising him alone.”
She had. Kate was the kind of woman who had her life together. Even with all the mess she was currently in, it was perfectly clear that when it was all over, she wouldn’t need or want me hanging around.
“Yeah, she has.”
“So where is she?”
“She’s coming later.” I shrugged. “Pocket said he would bring her, but she was all for getting a taxi.” Another shrug, just to prove once and for all that I didn”t care. When truth was the total opposite. I cared very much.
“Ok.” Duke let out a long exhale. “I have some questions. One.” He held up a finger. “You okay with her being on the back of his bike?”
I side eyed him. “Pocket has never come off his bike, as far as I know. He”s one of the safest riders in the club. It”s why he should have been road captain…” I trailed off. I was going off on a tangent and we both knew it. It didn”t make it any less true, though. “Kate would be safer riding with him than anyone else in this club.”
“Yeah.” Duke fell silent. And we both went back to watching Conner as he meticulously polished the bikes in the yard. It was a prospect”s job, but Conner had asked. And he had done a damn good job of it so far. One day, when the time was right, I would be happy to sponsor him in the Sons.
If Kate didn”t have my balls for even mentioning it, of course.
“Ok. Two. How do you feel about her riding with him?”
I swallowed hard. I knew what he was getting at, of course. I wasn”t stupid. Her turning up with Pocket would raise eyebrows. People would have questions.
Hell, I had questions as well. Just none that I could bring myself to ask.
“They have become friends. She likes him.” I forced myself to say those words even though it hurt to admit it. I had seen it. Anytime Pocket was around, I would catch them chatting and giggling together. Only earlier I had found them both laughing in the kitchen as she cooked up the roast lamb she had promised me.
“And that doesn”t bother you?”
“Nope.” Again, I did what appeared to be my favourite thing to do. I shrugged. “She”s not mine.”
“No?” Duke”s voice lowered. “That”s good, cos—”
I whirled about just in time to see Pocket”s bike slide through the open gates. Clutching his cut, her summer dress pushed up her thighs, was Kate. I knew it was her. I didn”t need to see her face.
The jealousy was sudden and very, very real, making me a total liar. It only intensified when Pocket helped pull the helmet from her head. Her cheeks were flushed with laughter; her eyes sparkled with it. Nothing he said could have made her look like that — Pocket couldn’t be that funny.
“Easy brother.” Duke straightened from his place against the wall, sensing the shift in my thoughts.
There was nothing easy about what I was seeing. Nothing at all.
“You said yourself that they are friends. That you didn”t care. You literally said it a few seconds ago.”
“Don”t fucking care what I said. She said she was getting a taxi. Not that she was riding with him. I didn’t really think…” I blew out a breath. “Get out of my way, Duke.”
He was smaller than me, but only by an inch or so, so I could only just see Kate”s puzzled face as she turned towards me.
“What”s going on?”
“Nothing, Kate. Why don”t you go and see Conner?” Pocket locked eyes with me, stepping out in front of her like he was protecting her. Protecting her from me? It just added insult to injury. I stepped around Duke.
“There a problem here, Legacy?” Pocket sounded wary, but the way he eyed me up and down just riled me up as before.
Slightly behind me, Duke mumbled something under his breath. I couldn’t quite catch what it was, but I was pretty sure he was calling me a fool, or something along those lines.
I knew I was a fool.
I had no right to be jealous.
Kate wasn’t mine.
“Legacy?” Pocket waited for me to answer him. I didn’t. If he kept pushing me, then I would blow. I didn’t have any right to, but I would. Jealousy was a funny thing. It didn’t make sense. When that green-eyed monster raised its ugly head, then all you could do was get out of the way.
Or blow up and threaten violence to a friend because he dared take a woman you didn’t want to admit you had feelings for on a ride on the back of his bike.
It meant something, though. Having a woman clinging to your back always meant something. Having her trust you with her safety, with her life.
“You and…” My eyes flickered towards Kate. She was staring at me, eyebrows arched upwards in shock or maybe it was guilt. I didn’t know. All I knew was that looking at her was a mistake. It just made the jealousy worse.
Pocket was a good man. But he wasn’t the right man for Kate. Kate was Paul’s woman and she always would be. I didn’t want to see her with anyone else.
Unless that person was me.
Fuck.
“Don’t worry about it.” Thrusting my hands deep into my pockets, I shook my head. This was all wrong. I had been about to step up to a brother and pound his face, and for what reason? Because he was friends with someone I cared about? Even if it was more than friendship, I still had no right.
Kate wasn’t mine.
She was never going to be mine.
“I hope—” Fuck. I blew out a breath. “I gotta go.” There was nothing else to say. If I said out loud the words I was thinking, then everyone would know what a jealous fool I was. Instead of just suspecting it.
I needed to move on from this weird infatuation I had with my best friend”s widow. I hadn’t been in her life for ten years. And she was right: I was bulldozing them, trying to make up for my absence by taking over their lives.
I had no right.
If she liked Pocket, if he made her happy, then I couldn’t stand in the way. No matter how much it felt like someone was gutting me.
Holding my head high, I walked away, stalking through my club brothers. They were all staring at me, clearly bemused by my little outburst.
“Legacy,” Kate called out. I didn’t stop, I didn’t turn around. If I did I couldn’t guarantee I wouldn’t fly off the handle again.
“Elliot?” she tried again, using my birth name this time.
“Let him be,” Pocket said softly, but his voice carried. I could just picture them standing side by side. Maybe he had even taken her hand. “He needs to clear his head.”
Yeah. I smiled ruefully to myself. I needed to clear my head. Give it a shake so any thoughts of Kate were tossed away.
No more remembering how she felt pressed against me on the back of my bike. Or how she looked at me when my finger was in her mouth. The feel of it. The hard little sucks.
I closed my eyes briefly.
I had to forget all of that.
When I opened my eyes, the first person I saw was one of the club girls.
“Candice.” I caught the redhead’s wrist easily. She looked nothing like Kate, but the hair was similar. She would do.
Hell, any of the club girls would do.
“Legacy?”
“Come with me.” I pulled her after me as I slipped into the confines of the clubhouse.
I needed to get over what I felt for Kate. And if that meant fucking my way through London, then so be it.
We didn’t even get to my room. Pushing her against the wall, I cupped her face in my hands. My eyes closed. But I didn’t kiss her lips. Instead, I put my mouth to her long, slender neck.
“Need your lips elsewhere.” I nipped at her ear, breathing in the smell of her hair, her skin. With my eyes closed, it was easy to imagine she was Kate, but she smelt different and it twisted my gut. Her perfume was stronger, more masculine.
Still…
“You want me to suck your dick, baby?” Candice crooned in her most seductive voice. I wanted to tell her to shut up and stop talking. Her voice broke the spell completely.
As long as she kept quiet, I could pretend she was someone else.
“Yes.” Changing our positions, I leaned back against the wall and pushed down on her shoulders until she fell to her knees before me. Her greedy little hands were already working on my belt. “Yes, suck my dick, Kate.”
I froze.
Kate. I had said, Kate.
“Fuck.” I banged my head against the wall. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
“It’s okay, baby. I don’t mind. You can call me whatever you want.”
“No.” Catching her up under the arms, I lifted her to her feet. “I can’t. Go back to the party, Candice.”
“But—”
“No buts. I just want to be alone.” Without waiting to see her leave, I walked away again. I needed to be alone. I hadn”t lied about that.
Yet alone time and a shower weren’t going to rid me of the truth.
Because I had said Kate”s name.
It was official.
I was totally gone for my best friend”s widow.
The shower helped. I stayed under the spray for a long time. Even when the water got icy, I stayed there, leaning against the cold tile.
I was in love with Kate. And I wasn’t sure when it had started.
I had always liked her. We had been friends. Hell, I had stood up and been Paul’s best man when he had married her. On that day I smiled and wished them a long and happy life.
Had I been lying?
Had I felt something for her even then? Something that wasn’t friendship?
Groaning, I turned the shower off. Reaching for a towel, I rubbed it against my hair instead of wrapping it around my waist. This was my bathroom, attached to my private room, so I could walk around naked all day and night if I wanted to.
Not that it would be my room for long. I needed to get out of London for a while. Maybe a really long while.
A long run, or maybe I could transfer to the Cardiff chapter. They seemed to have a pretty good setup there. Cardiff could offer me a fresh start.
I could live in Cardiff.
Could I fuck.
I didn’t want to leave London. It was my home. The only people I cared for were here. My sister Elodie, and…
Swinging open the bathroom door, I froze. My sparse room wasn’t empty.
“Kate?”
My eyes travelled down the length of her body and the soft curves under the summer dress. This one was lilac and so short so it fluttered around her mid thigh. There were tiny flowers all over it and buttons down the front.
And a leather vest over her shoulders.
My cut.
Kate was wearing my cut.
“What the fuck are you doing in here?” I couldn’t take my eyes off of the leather. “Get that off now, Kate. You can’t just come in here and put that on. You don’t understand what it means.” Striding forward, I moved to push it down her shoulders.
The moment my fingers touched the warm leather, I stilled.
Kate was wearing my cut. My colours.
Running my hands down her arms, I drew her towards me, pulling her close into my still wet body.
“Kate.” I didn’t think. I just moved. Thinking was bad. I always made the wrong decision. So I moved on instinct alone. My lips captured hers. The smallest brush of my lips against hers.
Lust rushed up.
Kissing her was everything I wanted. Feeling her body against mine. Having her in my leather. In my room.
In my damn arms.
Kate was…
Pushing at my chest, Kate scooted away. “Don’t!” Swinging her arm back, her open palm made contact with my face, sending my head rocking back.
“Don’t you ever touch me ever again, Legacy!”