Legal Bindings

32. Evan

“Oh wow.”That was all Evan could manage as he walked through a small vestibule and into a tiny apartment lit by the midmorning sun streaming through the two tall windows on the far wall.

There wasn’t much to it—a studio with a kitchenette, plus a closed door to his left that presumably led to a bathroom—but the location made the price unbeatable. How could I pass up the chance to live in the East Village for six months?

“It’s good, huh?” Judy asked, closing the door behind them.

Evan nodded, surveying the room. It was small, yes—he couldn’t get over how small it was, though Judy’s friend had appointed it nicely, with built-in bookshelves and a double bed hidden behind a screen. Evan could see himself there, though he didn’t get that immediate warm, gratifying sense of mine that had come the first time he’d set foot in Nick’s attic. But Nick had made his position perfectly clear when Evan had floated the possibility of moving, and Evan wasn’t in the business of second-guessing stupid lawyers who couldn’t acknowledge their emotions.

Or maybe Nick didn’t have emotions. That was also a possibility. Sure, Nick was capable of more than he was giving, but that didn’t make Evan any less annoyed about the way he had snapped shut like a recalcitrant clam when faced with the chance to ask Evan to stay.

Not that you told him it was his choice, said the tiny, insistent voice that had been guilt-tripping him since their strained conversation. And while Evan hadn’t been totally forthcoming with his state of mind, Nick needed to pick up on a damn hint once in a while. Which wasn’t to say Evan was giving up New York, but… ugh. He didn’t know. His mind was a mess of conflicting wants, and he couldn’t tell what was real and what was him wanting to take the easy way out again.

“It’s good,” he said, opening the bathroom door. Nothing thrilling—a single toilet and a standing shower that he’d hardly be able to turn around in.

“And you’re getting so much space for the price.”

Evan nearly laughed until he saw the look on her face. She was dead serious. “Oh, uh. Yeah.”

“Plus, it’s a great neighborhood.”

That he could agree with, although overall, New York hadn’t been what he expected. Unlike the tourist-friendly New York from the glossy-slick school trip he’d taken as a teenager, this city was busy, cramped, bustling, cramped, crowded, and… oh, had he mentioned cramped? From the moment he arrived at JFK, he’d felt surrounded and small, the world’s tiniest fish in the world’s biggest pond. It didn’t help that Judy had created a whirlwind tour for him, shepherding him from location to location with scarcely time to breathe in between.

He got the sense she was trying to impress him. Instead, it had left him feeling overwhelmed. But in a good way, he was sure. New York was an overwhelming place, after all, and if he was going to live there, he’d need to toughen up.

“I liked the look of that burrito joint.” He crossed to the window and looked out. The fourth-floor view was a plus—no big buildings in the way, so he could see the sky, which he’d learned was a precious commodity. His fancy hotel room, for example, only had a view of a brick wall.

“We should go there for lunch,” Judy said. “Then we’ve got one more gallery stop before we get you to the airport.”

“Sounds like a plan,” he said, turning away from the window and smiling. “Can you get me the paperwork for the sublet? I don’t want to miss my chance to live here.”

* * *

Nearly ten hours later, after visiting the seventh circle of hell that was air travel, Evan trudged through the kitchen door of Nick’s house, where he found Sydney sitting at the kitchen table, homework spread out in front of her.

“Evan!” She jumped up like a shot and bounded across the room to wrap him up in a hug.

It was a nice way to be welcomed after a delayed flight and a touch-and-go travel situation. He’d spent his afternoon in an under-construction airport terminal that smelled of frying beef and body odor and had an uncomfortable number of pigeons flying around inside.

The weird thing was, nobody seemed bothered by the pigeons. The masses of Manhattan and the other boroughs seemed resigned to their misery, hunkering down with ten-dollar airport sandwiches and burnt, foul-smelling coffee as they awaited their fate. Maybe it was a New Yorker thing. Evan wondered if he, too, would grow gray and oblivious to the indignities of being a tiny cog in a massive machine once he lived there. He hoped not.

“Hey, Syd Vicious,” he said, hugging her tight.

Nick entered the kitchen from the front hall, raising a brow when he saw Evan. “You look terrible.”

Evan rolled his eyes. Of course, the first thing Nick said to him after the strained silence of his week away—no texting and definitely no calls—was something rude. “Thanks.”

“How was it?” Sydney dragged him past Nick and into the living room.

“It was good.” He hesitated. “I think I’m going to sign a lease on an apartment, actually. So I’ll be working there for at least six months.”

Evan had informed Sydney about the basics of the situation, and while she hadn’t been thrilled—she’d gotten downright pissed about New York, in fact—he had assured her that regardless of where he was, he’d always be her friend. Him moving away was still big news, though, and for one brief second, her bright expression faltered, though she masked it with a grin.

“That’s awesome,” she said, punching his arm.

In that moment, he loved her—for her enthusiasm but for her understanding too. “You want to see some pictures?”

“Yes.” She took his phone when he offered it.

Nick, meanwhile, stood silent in the doorway, watching them. That annoyed Evan, who waited until Sydney was absorbed by the pictures before gesturing Nick toward the opposite couch. “Joining us?”

“Maybe. Congratulations,” Nick said, making no move toward the seat. “Sydney, we need to go.”

“I just want to finish with the pictures!”

“It’s almost your curfew,” he said with a brusqueness that meant business.

Sydney sighed. “Fuh-iiine.”

“I’ll see you soon,” Evan said as he took the phone back from her.

Sydney hugged him then trailed after Nick into the kitchen, where Evan overheard her asking if they could visit New York once he was fostering her.

“Maybe,” Nick said. “Get your shoes on.”

“Maybe or yes?”

“I don’t know if I can take you out of state.”

“Sam’s foster parents took him to California. I’m pretty sure it’s fine.”

“We’ll see,” he said.

Evan sighed, flopping back onto the couch and closing his eyes as he listened to the familiar sounds of them shuffling around the kitchen. He was excited for his next adventure—he truly was—but he was going to miss this place too. Staying would be as hard as going in some ways—figuring things out with Nick, the house, and the background check. Evan wasn’t sure which type of hard he ought to choose—career hard or love hard. But he kept hearing Judy and Kelly in his mind, telling him that this was his moment, and he needed to strike. Plus, it wasn’t like Nick had been begging him to stay.

* * *

Evan took to his studio late the next morning, relaxing into the familiar space, and the day slipped away. The light was fading by the time he finished and headed downstairs, where he nearly collided with Nick, who was heading for his bedroom and tugging on his tie, looking tired and slump shouldered. It wasn’t the first time Nick had come home exhausted since starting his new job.

“Ah, hi. Sorry,” Evan said.

“You’re fine.” Nick didn’t bother meeting his eyes as he continued his trudge.

Evan knew that slow walk. He knew Nick well enough to understand that he needed to get out of his head. “I know we left things in a weird place.”

Nick stopped then turned with a wary eye. “I guess so.”

“I know it’s for the best. That I leave, I mean.”

“Right,” Nick said with a sigh. “It makes sense.”

“I just wanted to say that I hope we can still be… friends.”

A ghostly smile flicked across Nick’s face. “We were never really friends.”

“Sure we were. Friends with benefits.”

“Mmm.” Nick yawned then rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. “All right.”

Evan frowned and took a step forward, his instincts taking over as he looked Nick up and down. “You look tired, Nicky.”

“I’m fine. It’s been a long week.”

Taking a chance, Evan reached up to touch his cheek. “If you need me to—”

“I don’t,” he said, though his voice faltered. “We shouldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because…” His glance bounced between the walls, focusing on anything but Evan’s face. “I don’t know.”

“Stop worrying about should, and let me take care of you a little.” It seemed the surest way to mend fences, and Evan didn’t want to leave things unclear. He wanted the two of them to part as friends, if nothing else, and sex had always been a way of communicating with Nick that made sense.

“I… all right,” Nick said as Evan leaned up to kiss him.

It didn’t take long for them to fumble their way back to Nick’s room, where Evan knew precisely what Nick needed and how to give it to him. It wasn’t a goodbye. It was just taking care of business.

Evan told himself that all the way to bed, where he pushed Nick onto his back and straddled his hips before beginning to undress him. Once they were naked, Evan kissed him, slow and deep, before pulling away to admire how the light caught the pink flush of Nick’s lips. It made him want to try something new and different. Something to remember Nick by.

Struck by inspiration, he put his hands on Nick’s furred chest and looked down at him. “Nicky,” he said in singsong as he reached for a condom and ripped open the foil. “I want to do something we haven’t done before.”

Nick licked his lips and cocked his head, watching Evan tug the condom free and pinch the tip. Only when Evan started rolling the condom onto Nick’s cock did he frown, confused. “What are you…?”

“You seem interested,” Evan said gently, not wanting to make a big deal of it, although Nick being hard from the get-go was unusual. “And I want you to fuck me.”

Evan topped, but not exclusively. And looking down at Nick, knowing it might be the last time, he wanted the sensation that only came from receiving.

Nick swallowed. “Why?”

“Because I want you to. I wasn’t aware I needed another reason.” To emphasize his point, he gave Nick’s nipple a tweak. Nick groaned, and his fingers flexed against the mattress. Evan tutted. He might have been the one getting fucked, but he was also still in charge. “Put your hands over your head and hold onto the headboard. Don’t move them.”

Nick obeyed quickly, so Evan rewarded him with a lube-slick stroke of his cock, which elicited a sweet little moan. He had missed those moans. He would fucking miss them.

Below him, Nick whimpered again, and Evan realized he’d been squeezing his cock in a manner that bordered on unpleasant. Not that Nick minded, but masochistic pleasure wasn’t what Evan had in mind for what would likely be their final encounter. For once, he wanted something sweet. So he let go of Nick’s shaft and slicked his own entrance instead.

“Don’t move,” he warned once he was prepped, crawling his way forward and reaching back to line up Nick’s cock with his body. “And don’t come unless I tell you that you can.”

“Won’t,” he murmured.

Evan took a deep breath then eased himself back. It had been quite some time since he’d bottomed, but when he felt that first bit of give, he remembered how much he liked it. There was some pain, yes, but the intimacy more than made up for any discomfort.

“Ohhh-kay,” Evan said on an exhalation, closing his eyes and licking his lips. “There you are.”

“Fuck.” Nick shifted his hips as if he were the one in charge, so Evan reached down to tug the short hairs that covered his lower belly. “Shit!”

“I told you not to move.”

Nick snorted, though he stilled his body and took a deep breath. “Sorry.”

“Better.” Evan placed his hands on the familiar planes of Nick’s chest and worked his way down, his body accommodating the intrusion inch by inch until Nick was sheathed within him, both of them sweat tinged and shivering. “I’m going to use you up.” Evan leaned low, groaning when the shift caused Nick’s cock to brush his prostate. He pressed his lips against Nick’s and bit down hard enough to hurt.

Nick whined, and Evan began to roll his hips, fucking himself onto the length of Nick’s cock, setting a rhythm that was intense but not brutal. Beneath him, Nick made those little sounds Evan loved so much, which was perfect. He wanting him lost in that heady mix of pain and pleasure.

“You feel so good in me,” Evan said as he pulled away, dragging his fingernails down Nick’s chest and belly, leaving ten red lines in sharp relief. Nick licked his lips, his eyes glassy, so Evan did it again and again until Nick’s arms were shaking from the effort of holding fast to the headboard.

“Little toy,” Evan whispered as he sat back, his hand falling to his own cock so he could stroke himself in time with the movements of his hips. “You’re just a body for me to use, aren’t you, Nicky?”

Nick nodded, his eyes closing as he arched his back, the depersonalization working its magic, driving him deeper into subspace. “Your body,” he mumbled, and Evan was surprised to see a tear trickle from the corner of his eye.

Briefly, Evan wondered if he ought to stop, but Nick wasn’t using his safe word, and he had to trust that he would if he needed it. “Mine.”

Using just the slightest pressure, he placed his hand on Nick’s throat and squeezed, which was something he’d done before but never with Nick. Nick’s eyes flew open, and Evan felt him swallow against his fingers.

“All right?” Evan asked. “Push me off if you need to.”

Nick nodded his consent, and Evan gave him what he asked for, increasing the pressure on his neck incrementally while fucking himself on Nick’s cock. Nick didn’t struggle, nor did he fight as Evan’s fingers flexed against the rigid column of his throat. He lay taut, his eyes closed and breathing hampered as his face turned pink. Watching him float away, Evan found himself at war with his own body, wanting to come but not wanting things to end.

At last, Nick’s eyes opened, and he shook his head from side to side, his voice a rasping whisper as he eked out, “C-Close!”

Evan gritted his teeth and stilled his rhythm. “Not yet,” he said, bending at the waist to press his damp forehead against Nick’s, fingers still clamped tight to his throat. “You don’t get to come until I do. Because this isn’t about you, is it?”

Nick licked his lips. “No.”

“You’re just a toy that I’m going to use, aren’t you?”

A genuine smile broke across his features. “Yes.”

“What an obedient little fucktoy you are too.” He licked his way into Nick’s open mouth as he rocked his hips in a teasing rhythm, easing up on his throat just a bit. “I’m sorry we had a fight.”

“We have—” Nick grunted, his eyes fluttering shut. “Lots of fights.”

That was true enough, and he laughed then bit Nick’s bottom lip. “We do. But I don’t want it to be our last fight. I want to have more.”

Nick grunted. “B’cause… friends.”

“Right.” Evan dug his fingernails against the pounding pulse of his friend’s throat and gritted his teeth. “We’re friends.”

Just friends. Forever friends. No-more-benefits friends.Evan shook his head, shoving down the emotion that threatened to ruin the situation. This was about Nick, not him, so he schooled himself and got to work, bringing Nick to the brink again and again until he was panting and desperate, tears falling freely as he begged Evan to let him come. God, but he was beautiful when he was breaking.

Once more, Evan denied him. “Not yet, little toy.”

“I don’t think I can,” Nick croaked, shaking his head, nearly frantic. “I can’t, Ev.”

“Can’t what?”

“Can’t wait. I’m so fucking close.”

Edging had its limits, and the last thing he wanted to do was cause Nick to fail, so he needed to play things carefully. He spat into his palm and sat back with an insouciant shrug, wrapping his fist around his own aching cock. “As soon as I come, you can come. But not before.”

Evan’s hips picked up a rhythm to match his strokes, and the ensuing orgasm came swiftly. When it hit, he tightened his hold on Nick’s throat, and Nick’s release came seconds later, his hips snapping up involuntarily as he shuddered through it. Evan, lost in his own bliss, closed the distance between them with a messy, gasping kiss.

“Good, so good,” Evan murmured as they came down the other side of release, feeling Nick’s broad frame trembling beneath him.

Gingerly, he released his hold on Nick’s neck and was gratified to see the marks left behind. Nick would be wearing his collars buttoned tight the rest of the week, Evan was sure. Worst-case scenario, he could lend him some concealer.

Nick whimpered, and Evan bent to kiss the sensitive skin, a selfish part of him wishing he could lay claim to those bruises for longer than the two weeks he had left as Nick’s roommate. But hey, at least they were friends again.