Chapter 12
“I should take another one.”
“You already did three. A fourth is not going to change the result,” Michael pointed out patiently. She had heeded his advice and went straight to the pharmacy. After buying a bunch of pregnancy kits, she headed to her home with Michael in tow.
She had called Ingrid and asked her to come over and cover for her at the pastry shop. The woman had agreed readily, making Sherrian realize that her friend was not taking retirement in her stride.
She paced around her living room, feeling the tension radiate through her body. The three tests she had taken were lined up on the coffee table, all showing the same clear result. Positive. She glanced at Michael who sat calmly on the couch, his presence a steady anchor in the storm of her emotions.
“They all might be flukes.” She was trying to find a way out of this quagmire. She was pregnant. And she was not ready. Far from it.
“Sherrian.”
“You’re right.” She dropped down on the sofa next to him. “The fact that I do not want to be pregnant is beside the point. I am.”
“Yes.”
“And I don’t know what to do.”
He stared at her frowningly. “You are keeping it, right?”
Leaning her head back against the cushions, she closed her eyes. “Whenever I pictured me having a baby, it is always somewhere down in my late thirties. I would have realized my dream of having the spectacular bakery, everything in place.
And it would be established enough so that I could take some time off to be able to raise my child. Now I am unmarried, and my life is in complete chaos. I am just not ready.”
Turning to face her, he took her hands in his and forced her to meet his gaze. “Consider very carefully what you are doing. And whose seed you are carrying. Leo Coleman is a multi-billionaire and unless I miss my guess, the man is likely to need an heir to inherit his vast fortune.”
“No pressure!” She muttered.
“I am not trying to be a downer, darling, I thought you were really into this guy.”
“I am.” Dragging her hands free, she rose and stared at the offending test kits. “It is just that we don’t really know each other. The sex is fantastic, but what if that is the only thing keeping us together.” Her hand flew to her mouth as if something occurred to her.
“What is it?”
“What if I turn him off with the news? I am going to be big and unattractive. My boobs are going to grow huge as well as my backside. My ankles are going to get swollen…” She sank down on the sofa and simply sat there staring across the room. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
“The bathroom…”
“No. Not that sick.” She thumped a hand against her chest. “Sick with worry. God, what a damn mess.”
“Who says it has to be? The guy asked you to marry him, remember?”
“And I am not marrying him because I am knocked up.”
“Didn’t he ask you before…”
“I am just not ready,” she said stubbornly.
“Sherrian,” his firm tone had her looking at him. “If you mess this up because of that bastard who treated you like dirt, I will never forgive you.”
“It’s not that,” she insisted, praying that she was being truthful.
“Then what the hell is it?”
“It’s everything.” She rose a little unsteadily. “Leo has a late meeting, and I need to be alone. I need to think.”
“I don’t want to leave you alone.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I have a bag packed with some essentials I did not take with me when I moved in with Leo. Could you secure them for me and leave them on the porch? I am going for a drive.”
He hesitated, searching her face for any sign of reassurance, but found none. Reluctantly, he nodded. "Alright, but I’ll be checking up on you. If you need anything, you call me immediately, understand?"
She managed a weak smile, appreciating his concern. "I will. Thank you for being here."
Without another word, she went to get her jacket, feeling the weight of her world pressing down on her shoulders. The silence of the house enveloped her, and she felt a sudden urge to escape, to clear her mind.
Grabbing her keys, Sherrian headed out the door and into her car. She drove aimlessly for miles, the rhythmic hum of the engine providing a temporary solace. Her mind raced with thoughts of the future, of the life growing inside her, and of the uncertainty that lay ahead.
As she drove through the quiet streets, she found herself at the edge of the city, where the lights were dim, and the world seemed a little more still. She pulled over at a small park, the kind she had always found comforting in times of distress.
Stepping out of the car, she took a deep breath, the cool night air filling her lungs and momentarily easing her anxiety.
She sat on a bench, gazing up at the stars, searching for answers in the vast expanse of the sky. She knew she had to make a decision. one that would shape not only her future but that of her child. The gravity of it all weighed heavily on her, but in this quiet moment, she allowed herself to feel the full extent of her emotions.
Tears welled in her eyes, but she did not fight them. She let them flow, a release of the pent-up fears and doubts that had been consuming her. As the tears subsided, a sense of clarity began to emerge. She realized that no matter what, she had to face this head-on, with courage and conviction.
In the stillness of the night, Sherrian made a silent vow to herself and her unborn child. She would find a way through this, not just for herself, but for the life she now carried. She would take it one step at a time, trusting that she had the strength to navigate the challenges ahead.
She had no idea she had stayed out so late, or that her phone had lost its charge. She had sat there on the park bench until the bitter cold of the fall season drove her to seek warmth inside her car.
Leo was waiting for her at the door, a furious expression on his face. “Where in the hell have you been? I have been calling you for over an hour.”
“Stop shouting. I have a damn headache.” Sweeping past him, she shrugged off her jacket and slung it over the newel post and just sat on the third step.
“What’s going on?” He had followed her and was staring at her puzzled. “I called the bakery, and they told me you left in the early afternoon. It is almost eight at night. Where have you been?”
“I had some thinking to do.”
“Thinking that could not be done at the bakery or here at home?”
“Your home.”
Leo tamped down the anger and strove for patience. He had called her when he was leaving the meeting to find out if she wanted to go and have dinner. When he could not reach her, panic had flooded him as he wondered if she was in an accident somewhere.
“Okay, my home. What is going on?”
“I was not feeling well.”
His expression changed to one of concern and he sat on the step below her. “I thought you were getting better. We should consult a physician…”
“I know what’s wrong with me!” She snapped. Causing him to lift his brows at her tone.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“I’m pregnant.’ The tears she had been holding at bay came in a flood and she simply folded her hands on her knees and buried her face there and wept.
The joy he felt at her announcement shriveled and died. She was not crying tears of happiness. He waited until the tears subsided and she lifted her head.
“You’re not happy about it.”
“Does this look like I am happy?” She shrilled, feeling the hysteria rising inside her.
“Why didn’t you use something? I thought you would have been smart enough to do so. Or was it your intention to trap me so I would have no other choice but to accept your proposal.”
Anger churned inside him, and he had to take a moment to tamp it down.
“I will take into consideration that the news is overwhelming.” His tone was like steel, his face tight. “But I am not going to stand for your insults. I do not see why you are so out of sorts about.
Our passion has culminated in making a life, something to be joyful about. I want a child; I want children by you, and I have never said that to a woman before. You turned down my proposal and I told you I would give you time. I will not, however pretend that this is bad news for me.”
“No.” She shook her head, her mind tormented with guilt and anger, “because you are a man and nothing will change for you. I have a business to run, and this is going to set me back because of the changes. I already feel sick to my damn stomach and it is only going to get worse.
Nine months! Fricking nine months, I am going to have to endure the symptoms. I have renovations going on and plans to add some more delicacies to the menu. Which by the way, I cannot do as my taste buds are shot to hell. I do not want this. I do not.”
The silence after her explosive statement stretched between them like a tight rope. She knew she should not have said those things to him, but she had always said exactly what she was thinking. And he need to realize that this was not something she was looking forward to.
“What do you plan on doing?” He asked, finally breaking the heavy silence.
“I don’t know.”
“I see.” He rose carefully, so carefully that he felt as if his joints had caramelized. Anything he said to her now would result in a big blowout and would drive them further apart and he could not risk it.
“I am going out. You should probably try and get some rest.”
“Where are you going?”
“I need to clear my head.”
“I did not say those things to hurt you…”
“And yet you have done just that.” Turning on his heels, he strode towards the entryway, leaving her sitting there.
She had been harsh; she admitted it to herself. But she was the one in this pickle. It was her damn body, wasn’t it? So, what if she had implied that she was not ready? She was not. Should she have pretended that she was all aglow over the news? Pretend that everything was all shiny and sunshine?
“Oh God! What a damn mess.”
She sat there for a long time after he left, the room growing darker around her as the evening crept in. The emotions swirled inside her, a chaotic mix of frustration, guilt, and fear. The silence of the empty room felt oppressive, and she wrapped her arms around herself as if to ward off the encroaching shadows.
Her thoughts tumbled over each other, a relentless torrent that refused to be stilled. She thought of the business she had built from the ground up, the countless hours of arduous work, the dreams she had for its future.
A baby had never been part of that plan. She had always been clear about her priorities, and a child would change everything.
Yet, beneath the anger and the fear, there was a faint, almost imperceptible glimmer of something else. Could it be... hope? Or perhaps a longing she had never allowed herself to acknowledge? She shook her head, trying to dispel the confusing thoughts. No, she needed to stay focused, practical.
Taking a deep breath, she stood up, her legs feeling shaky beneath her. She needed to think clearly, to figure out her next steps. The renovations at the restaurant, the new dishes she wanted to introduce - these were the things that mattered now. She would need to find a way to manage it all, despite the nausea that already plagued her.
But even as she attempted to plan, she could not escape the image of his face, the hurt in his eyes as he had walked away. She had lashed out, but was it fair to blame him entirely? He had been right about one thing: this should have been a moment of joy, a celebration of their passion. Instead, it had become a battleground.
She sighed deeply, her heart heavy with the weight of the situation. "Oh God! What a damn mess." She repeated, feeling the words resonate within her. She knew she would have to face him again, and they would need to find a way through this - together or apart. For now, she needed to rest, to gather her strength for the challenges ahead.
*****
He drove with no clear destination in mind. He just wanted to get away, to clear his head and figure out the next move. Twice she had rejected him. First by shoving his proposal back in his face and now, telling him clearly she did not want his baby.
The hurt was slicing through him, making it impossible to breathe.
He had thought that love would conquer all, that their shared dreams and passions would be enough to bridge any divide. But now, he felt the sting of her words, the coldness of her rejection like a knife twisting in his soul. How could something that had started with such promise have unraveled so completely?
As the miles slipped away beneath the wheels of his car, he replayed their arguments in his mind. He had always admired her determination, her fierce independence. It was one of the things that had drawn him to her in the first place.
But now, that same determination seemed to be driving them apart. She was so focused on her career, on making her pastry shop a success, that it left no room for anything else, not even for him.
He wondered if he had misjudged everything. Had he pushed too hard? Expected too much? The image of her sitting alone in the darkened room haunted him, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.
Despite the anger and frustration that churned within him, he couldn't help but feel a pang of empathy. She was scared and he acknowledged that. Everything had spiraled so quickly.
One minute they were entering into a fake marriage for the sake of her aunt and receiving her inheritance and the next they were intimate.
She blamed him for not using anything, but that was so bloody unfair. The lovemaking had not been planned. Yes, he had fervently hoped things would progress between them, but she had been as much a part of it as he was.
He could not face her, not right now. He had been tempted to shake some sense into her, to lash out because of the hurt and pain. But he felt rage churning inside him, and he could not go back feeling this way. If he did, there would be no going forward. And maybe there was not at this point. He had some thinking to do.
He pulled over to the side of the road, the weight of his emotions pressing down on him. He needed to find a way to reach her, to make her see that they could face this together.
But how? The thought of losing her, of walking away and never looking back, was unbearable. And yet, he could not force her to want the same things he did. He needed to give her space, but he also needed to make her understand just how much he cared.
With a heavy heart, he started the car again, the road ahead long and uncertain. He would give her time, but he would not give up. Not yet. There was too much at stake, too much to lose. He just hoped she would see that before it was too late.
*****
She lay there in bed, stiff as a board as she listened for his footsteps coming into the bedroom. He had been gone for hours, and she was getting worried.
Her thoughts were churning, and she had been sick in his absence, wretchedly ill, compounding her argument about this being so damned inconvenient. She closed her eyes and pretended to sleep when she heard him coming to the room.
But she might have saved herself the effort. He did not approach the bed but went straight into the closet and took something out. Peeping through her lashes, she saw him selecting clothing for tomorrow. Without even glancing at the bed, he made his way through the dividing door and into what she knew was another suite.
The doors closed with a finality that sent a sharp twinge through her heart. She could go to him, ask for his forgiveness and risk him rejecting her. But somehow, she knew that an apology was not going to work this time. He needed time to himself, and she would give it to him. She needed time herself and was going to take it.
Sleep eluded her as she lay in the silent room, the darkness pressing in on her thoughts. She had always prided herself on being strong, on standing firm in the face of adversity. But now, she felt her resolve crumbling, the weight of her decisions bearing down on her like a heavy shroud.
The pastry shop, her dream, had become a fortress, shutting out everything that once mattered. She did not mean for it to be this way, didn't foresee how much it would cost her. The ambition that once fueled her now seemed like a relentless tide, pulling her further from the shore of their shared life.
She thought of the moments they had laughed together, the tender exchanges that spoke of a future brimming with possibilities. It pained her to think those moments might be lost, drowned out by the cacophony of her relentless pursuit of success.
Her heart ached with the realization that she had let fear and ambition drive a wedge between them. The dream she had worked so hard to build felt hollow without him by her side.
Turning over, she gazed out the window, the moonlight casting an ethereal glow over the room. She knew she had to find a way back to him, to bridge the chasm that had formed between them.
In the other room just a few feet from where she lay, Leo linked his hands beneath his head and stared up at the intricate pattern of the ceiling. He had taken a gamble and had lost. The loss was so keen, he could feel it cutting into his very soul.
He felt an unbearable emptiness, a void that seemed to grow with each passing moment. The silence of the suite was deafening, amplifying the turmoil within his heart. Leo knew she was just a few feet away, but the emotional distance between them felt like an insurmountable chasm.
The memories of their happier times flooded his mind, taunting him with what they once had. The way she laughed, the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about her dreams, the warmth of her touch – all these moments felt like a distant dream now.
He had pushed her into a relationship. He thought of his damned arrogance. How he had jumped at the chance of being her fake husband, thinking that it would lead to the real thing. Well, the bloody joke was on him, wasn’t it. He inhaled sharply, feeling the pain of his heartbreak taking over.
He wanted to hate her. Oh, how he wished he could march right in that room and tell her to get the hell out of his life. But under the hurt and pain, love beat like a living thing, and it sickened him that he was so vulnerable to her.
Perhaps this was his damn punishment. He had avoided any sort of meaningful relationship all his life. Now for the first time he was in love and his feelings were not reciprocated. He had felt hope that she was coming to love him, even a tiny bit the way he loved her.
What if she was still hung up on that bastard? It pained him to think that she had been willing to marry the guy, while his own proposal had been shoved back at him.
“Well, no more.” He whispered fiercely. “I am done.”