Chapter 9
“Come here,”he said roughly, and pulled her up against him, sliding his arms around her. “Come on,”
“Anywhere, everywhere,” she whispered.
“Ah, God, Kai.” His voice was as low as hers, his face contorting with raw emotion. “I’ve dreamed of this a thousand times.” She tightened her arms and a shudder coursed through him. She had, too. Why had she waited so long? She closed her eyes. Right, her fears. They threatened to tear her apart, and she knew that she would have to deal with them or lose what was happening here. Something so beautiful and real, she didn’t have words to describe it. She would rather die than hurt this wonderful, beautiful man. “Kai,” he whispered hoarsely. “I love you.”
His features were so soft with tenderness, something dark and intense in his eyes, something so tormented that made her throat ache and her chest fill up. He wasn’t saying this lightly, generating so much emotion jamming up in her chest, her vision blurring. His gaze locked on her, he said, his voice low and ragged, “You don’t need to say a word in response.” He roughly buried his face against her neck, his chest heaving, his voice cracking and nearly inaudible. “It’s enough that you know.”
Locking her jaw to contain the hard ache in her throat, Kai grasped the back of his head, molding herself against him, her breasts pressed to his hot, hard chest, reveling in the feel of him.
Hauling in a deep, ragged breath, his face still buried in her neck, he continued. “When I thought I was going to die today, I regretted not telling you,” he whispered roughly, holding her as if he couldn’t let her go. “I regret not pushing harder, but I’m not going to back down from what I said. I mean it, Kai. Every word.”
Tears burning her eyes, Kai clasped his head even tighter. “You are so absolutely amazing, Davis,” she murmured unevenly. “Truly one of a kind precious.” Unable to check her tears, Kai tightened her hold and made a low urgent sound, a crazy kind of fear claiming her.
It was as if Davis sensed that fear, and with a hoarse sound, he shifted and found her mouth, his savage kiss tasting of tears and pain, and fear-driven desperation. And for Kai, there was a taste of surrender, like the confession had released him to her, open and vulnerable. She hadn’t realized how much she needed that raw, consuming surrender. She wanted it all.
A low sob slipped from her, and he dragged his hand up her back, molding them together in a crushing hold, his other hand immobilizing her head as his mouth turned hot, hungry, and ravaging. Locking her arms around him, she yielded everything—her mouth, her body, her strength, and a tentative heart—driven by a need that burned through to her very soul. Suddenly, everything was out of control.
Widening his stance, Davis dragged her up into the cradle of his thighs, the hard ridge of his flesh meshing with her softness, and suddenly Kai couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, from the thick pulsing urgency swelling inside her. Davis groaned and dragged his mouth away, his breathing guttural and heavy as he lifted her hips against his, a violent shudder coursing through him. His merciless hold fused them almost as one. Groaning, he gripped her around the hips locking her to him, the feel of his full, thick erection rocking her senses into a mindless need, and she dragged her hands up his naked back, her fingers digging into his flexing muscles as she twisted her body against his.
His embrace was vice-like, and Kai was so aware of the heat and hardness of his body, aware that he was carrying her toward the bed.
Awash with a whole storm of emotions, she uttered a broken cry as he braced one knee on the mattress, steadying their combined weight as he carried her down onto the bed, her legs still locked around him. Kai sobbed out her response as he collapsed on top of her, his weight settling heavily in the cradle of her thighs.
Then he broke free of her legs, his mouth trailing fire from her neck to her breasts as he ravaged her nipples with his lips, teeth, and tongue. Before she could recover, he pushed her legs wide apart, and his dark head dipped down. The feel of his hot, damp mouth on her pulsing, aching core elicited a moan as he relentlessly licked her in hot, searing strokes. The pleasure was sharp and riveting and stole her breath. A low throbbing started in her belly, then spiraled down to her sex, and she grabbed handfuls of his hair.
His wicked tongue working its seductive magic was the most erotic sensation she’d ever experienced. With a cry, she arched sinuously against his mouth as she came in a burning wave that shook her entire body.
Without giving her a chance to fully recover from her release, he moved up over her, the slide of his gloriously hard body against hers, accelerating her pulse. She reached down to touch him, and when her fingers fluttered over the broad, velvet head of his shaft, he sucked in a hard, groaning breath. Grasping both of her wrists, he pulled her arms up and pinned them above her head, giving him utter control over her.
He settled more fully on top of her, his thighs forcing hers further apart, and then he was pressing his erection intimately against her, nudging his way in, stretching her, setting her body on fire. She caught a glimpse of his dark, fierce expression before he crushed his mouth to hers and kissed her deeply, passionately.
With a hoarse groan, he slid one arm under her hips and jerked her up, his arms clenching around her as he entered her with one savage thrust. Their moans mingled, and once he began to move, there was no stopping him. His thrusts were deep, heavy, and unrelenting penetrations that possessed and claimed her in an inherently primitive way. His hand slipped down her body to her aching sex. His thumb against her pulsating core, the duel, erotic stimulation causing her to cry out and rock frantically against his pistoning hips.
“Kai, so beautiful, so very beautiful,” he rasped.
Kai cried out and arched against him, an incoherent frenzy claiming her. His fingers tangling in her hair, Davis held her head as he covered her mouth in a punishing kiss that blasted through all her emotional defenses, that stripped away reality. Drinking in the sounds that were driven from her, he thrust into her again, a fragmented groan shuddering from him. Dragging his mouth away from hers, he buried his face against the curve of her neck, his hot, damp, panting breaths rushing against the side of her throat, along with the arousing scape of his unshaven jaw. A hard, wild urgency claimed him, incinerating the last of his restraint. And then there was no holding back. The war between them was over, unleashing a storm like no other. Raw and violent. Engulfing. Without a trace of gentleness, they achieved what she knew was always an aching, exciting, devastating inevitability. All-consuming ecstasy.
Fernanda “Freddy”Delgado listened to the voice on the other end of her burner phone, fury building with each word.
“They have Jonny Z.”
She gritted her teeth. “It doesn’t matter. He won’t talk. None of them will talk if they know what’s good for them.”
“Word is they’re leaving Ecuador in the morning.” That left everything hanging on her shoulders. Her boss would expect her to clean up Jonny Z’s mess and make sure the feds were kept in the dark about what was going on. Stupid, fucking Eduardo Mosquera and his daughter. He’d jeopardized the whole thing with his screwup. Eduardo had set this whole thing in motion and now her big fish was wriggling on the hook. Finch better not fight too hard. Freddy knew how to handle big fish. Besides, she had Finch on a sexual hook that was stronger than his greed.
“We can hit them on the way to the airport,” he said, his tone hard.
“No, they’ll be prepared for that.” She bit her lip, banking her anger. That wasn’t going to help to resolve this mess. “What the hell happened? How did this go so wrong?”
“We’re not sure. There’s really no information about how they got Jonny Z and the others.”
Was everyone down there incompetent? Did she have to do everything herself? “I don’t like the sound of that. The Americans have ways of fucking us over without us knowing who is doing it. One of their shadowy organizations. Again, it doesn’t matter. We’re committed to this path. If we don’t succeed, we’re all dead. The Angel of Death will see to that. He may have taken over Nacho’s territory and routes, but he’s no passive drug lord who will cut his losses. He can’t afford it. This shipment will put him on the map. It’s everything to him.”
“Then let’s take care of this. I can get a strong crew together and get them at the airport.”
Maybe that wasn’t as bad an idea as she thought it was. It would take care of all their Ecuadorian problems, including the feds who thought they had gotten a leg up in their investigation. “Let me think about it.”
“We have another problem…a loose end.”
“Who?”
“Sargeant Dario Loor.”
“Damn.” She swore for a few seconds. “We can’t have loose ends. Take care of it.”
His whole body trembling,Davis clenched his jaw, his heart still slamming in his chest, the intensity of his release leaving him totally spent. He caught the musky scent of sex, sweat, and hot skin, the feel of her tight around him, gripping him, anchoring him deep inside her felt so good. So damned good.
This was one giant step toward what he ultimately wanted with Kai, and the other leap he’d taken, he’d had to say it. He couldn’t go another second without telling her how he felt.
Drained dry by the thick, wringing climax, Davis inhaled unevenly and turned his face against her soft neck, the rush of blood still pounding through his head. He lay unmoving until his pulse rate quieted, then he stirred, his body heavy, his muscles slow to respond. Dredging up what little strength he had left, he braced his weight on his forearms, his chest contracting when he realized how desperately Kai was hanging on to him.
Sensation wrenched loose in his chest, and he closed his eyes and rested his head against hers, his throat suddenly contracting. He meant everything he said to her, even about her not having to say a thing. She would in her own time, and that would be enough for him. He drenched his senses with the heated scent of her, relaxing into this moment fully.
It would be morning all too soon. They’d be on their way to the airport, and the investigation would take center stage again. He’d risked it all with her by telling her how he felt, but without risk there was no reward, no moving forward, no dealing with what was between them.
He lifted his head and looked into her flushed face. Her eyes were closed, giving herself a few private moments to recover from what had just happened between them. Her breathing was still choppy, but he took in the whole of her. Her body was so damn beautiful, her long slender neck, her full breasts with soft pink tips, her smooth belly, and her gorgeous long legs. All of her was toned to perfection.
Finally, her lashes fluttered open, and she slowly glanced his way. Her gaze was guarded and her expression tentative, even a bit uncertain. She looked so damn vulnerable, and that was a term he never would have associated with her. She was a powerhouse, brave and confident. But that was the woman he knew in her professional role. He had to admit that he didn’t know her very well personally, but he wanted to, and he hungered for her trust.
He’d ordered his world, not by design, but by what felt good to him. His childhood had been secure, comfortable, and regimented. He enjoyed that stability. But when it came to relationships that were not guaranteed, like his parents’ love, he felt fragmented, and he hated that fragmentation. His fear of disconnecting from her drove him to avoid confrontation and conflict with her. He saw that it caused him to resist her attempts to exclude connection and intimacy, leading to him rejecting her advances, and even allowing him to move forward with his own desire. What he needed to see here, what he finally saw with her, was that she had her own thoughts and desires. She wasn’t like him, and that was so fucking okay, and he was glad that he could see that, letting her find her own way was something he wanted her to do. Coming to him fully committed or not was up to her no matter how much he wanted her to choose him.
“Kai—” he began, only to be surprised when she claimed his mouth. He hadn’t been expecting that lovely assault, and it caught him off guard just long enough for her to seriously destroy whatever common sense and rational thought he might still have. But then he wasn’t sure he’d had much of either when it came to this woman.
He gave into this moment as she thoroughly kissed him, then she sighed and rubbed her cheek along his jaw. “You’re taking me to places I thought I wouldn’t ever get to again.”
This sexy, brave woman never ceased to intrigue him. She was going to meet him head-on. It was either going to end up okay, or a terrible, ugly crash. But maybe the crash would also be all right. He’d avoided his feelings when it came to her and ended up with superficial relationships. On the surface, they were great, but deep down, he knew they were never right.
“That’s a good thing,” he murmured. We deserve to have a relationship that terrifies us, strips us down, and fills us with awe. Life is too short to cling to the safety rails.”
She winced slightly, as if his words had touched something raw inside her, then, her voice uneven, whispered, “Sometimes it’s very hard to let go.” She opened her eyes and looked at him, that same uncertainty in her eyes.
He inhaled raggedly, then brushed his mouth against the curve of her shoulder, his hold on her tightening. He cupped the back of her head, holding her with a strength that was all-encompassing. Wanting to reassure her, he managed a wry smile. “Yeah, I have a firm grip a lot of the time, too. We cling to what we know. What we think keeps us safe.”
Her breath caught, and she dragged her fingers through his hair, cradling him against her as if he’d said something miraculous. A jagged sigh escaped him, and he pressed a kiss against her neck. There was something profoundly poignant in the way she held him. When he raised his head, her eyes filled, and she drew an unsteady breath, running her hand up his back, blinking hard as if trying to control her tears. She held his gaze for a moment, the disquiet in her eyes deepening, then she looked away.
His tone was as gentle as he could make it. “Don’t, babe. You don’t have to hold back with me.” Kai opened her mouth to speak, but she swallowed hard instead. To comfort her, he brushed his mouth against hers, then very carefully kissed away her tears.
“I have so much baggage, Davis. So much, but I can see a glimmer in the distance. Please don’t give up on me.”
Trying to will away the emotion that clogged his throat, Davis touched her face. “I won’t if you won’t,” he said gruffly, his voice breaking.
She pressed her thumb across his mouth, her voice husky as she whispered, “Okay, deal.” She gazed up at him, her eyes swimming with unshed tears. “I care very deeply for you. Please believe that.”
“I believe that, Kai.”
Sliding her hand along his jaw, she lifted her head and kissed him, softly stroking his mouth with hers. Sliding his arms around her, he took control, his dick thickening and hardening. Her hands were all over him as if she was trying to map every inch of him into her mind and, he hoped, her heart.
Releasing a pent-up breath in a rush, Kai slid her arms around his neck and moved on top of him. Closing his eyes against the onslaught of sensation, Davis turned his face against her and wrapped her in a hard embrace, wondering how in hell he would ever manage to let her go if that”s what she wanted. Grasping a handful of hair, he clenched his jaw and turned his head against hers, something raw and wild breaking loose inside him. Inhaling raggedly, he clutched her against him. A tremor coursed through her, and she drew her knees up and pulled out of his hold, her hair cascading around her face as she rose above him. Drawing his hand to her mouth, she placed a hot, wet kiss against his palm. Lacing her fingers through his, she caught his other hand and repeated the hot, erotic caress, then forced his hands down. Another tremor shuddered through her, and she rose up, then lowered her delicious weight onto him, taking him deep inside her.
Breaking out in a cold sweat, Davis clenched his jaw against the sharp, electrifying surge of feeling, his shoulders coming off the bed as she moved once, twice against him. His heartbeat a frenzy in his chest, his pulse thick and heavy, he tightened his fingers through hers in a white-knuckle grip, turning his head against the pillow, “Kai…Ah…God…babe.”
The sensory onslaught nearly ripped him apart. It wasn’t the sex. It was the physical and mental connection, as if being inside her fused them into one amazing whole. His heart trapped in his chest when she lowered her head and covered his mouth in a slow, wet, softly searching kiss.
She stroked the palms of his hands with her thumbs, her breasts grazing his chest. “Davis,” she whispered brokenly against his mouth, kissing him so sweetly. “Davis.” Another shudder coursed through her, and she tightened her hold on his hands, her breath catching as she flexed her hips, her hot, wet tightness gripping him, stroking him, drawing him closer and closer.
An agony of sensation shot through him, and he rolled his head again, the cords of his neck taut, and he sucked in a breath through clenched teeth. He rode out the hard, swelling need. This was a damn good start toward breaking down all her barriers.
Then she moved again, taking him even deeper inside her, and he went under, the fever claiming him. He groaned and flexed beneath her, driving inside her.
When Kai woke up,it was slow and easy, and she marveled at the warmth and power she was snuggled securely against. She lay in the circle of his arms, her head resting against his jaw. The regular rise and fall of his chest tranquilized her, and sleep nearly pulled her under again. But his breath feathered across her face, and through the gray fog in her mind, she realized she only had to move her head a fraction and her mouth would brush his. Feeling warm and drugged, she shifted her head and touched his mouth with the whisper of a kiss, then smiled drowsily as he tightened his hold on her.
She could stay here forever, foregoing work, sleep, and eating to stare at him. Was it just her good fortune to find such a man? The kind of man who seemed to know how to navigate her deepest fears and anxieties, all by being himself? And again, she wondered why she had waited so damn long.
She absorbed the feel of him against her, then eased up on one elbow, a sweet, protective feeling washing through her as she gazed down at his sleeping form beside her.
He was lying with the sheet barely covering him, his head turned toward her, his devastatingly handsome face drawn in angles and sheer beauty. His body was strong and well-formed, wrapped in hard ridges of muscles everywhere, some of the delineations stealing her breath like the firm curve of his biceps, and the sexy muscles curving around his hips. The strong line of his jaw was accentuated by a stubble of beard, the burnished skin across his slashing cheekbones drawn smooth. What a gorgeous package inside and out.
He’d landed on a few things that would win her over, support, understanding, and the sense that no matter what she did or what she said, he would be there for her. His openness and his declaration that he loved her had thrown her for a loop. She recognized how much courage it must have taken for him to utter those three very powerful words. She wondered if he was even aware of his own magnetic power.
It wasn’t that she couldn’t reciprocate—she was in so deep with him. It was that she needed time to sort out her own head to really understand her own baggage that weighed so heavily on her. She didn’t mean to be cruel or withholding, that wasn’t it at all.
She combed her fingers through the dark thickness of his hair, gently drawing it back from his forehead. She could only be grateful he’d pushed her into this strange place where she was analyzing and contemplating everything that had led her to this moment. She wanted to get beyond it all, but she realized she had to sift through it before she could understand it.
Absently fingering the silky texture of Davis’s hair, she stared off into space for a moment, then sighed.
“That was one heavy sigh,” Davis said. She looked down into those mesmerizing, sleepy eyes and smiled.
“It’s your fault,” she whispered, slipping her hands down over his face, pressing her thumb against his full bottom lip.
“You said you wanted to share something with me after we had lunch. How do you feel about that now?”
“Surprisingly good,” she said.
“That’s progress, right?”
“Yes,” she admitted. “You make it so easy to talk to you.”
“That’s because, for me, it is easy to be with you…most of the time.” He chuckled and she pinched his side, but he just laughed again.
Warmth leeched out of her. “I lost a child,” she said, her voice subdued, and the humor drained from his face. He half sat up.
“Kai—God—babe?—”
Fighting against the swell of tears, Kai slipped her arms around his neck, a soft sob wrenching loose when he gathered her up in a hard, tight embrace, a tremor shuddering through him, and Kai yielded to the pressure of his arms, tears of a deep, wrenching ache slipping from beneath her lashes. Despite all the things that had gone wrong, this was right. So damned right.
He didn’t say anything, just waited for her to continue. She hugged him hard for that. There was never overt pressure from Davis, just his presence and the feel of him in her space spurred her on. “She wasn’t my only loss. I lost my family, too. My husband, and all the dreams and hopes I had with them.”
Twisting his face away from her, he caught her hand, then laced his fingers through hers with a crushing grip. His expression scored with a range of emotions, he closed his eyes and pressed her hand against his mouth.
“I got pregnant when I was fifteen. I was in love with my high school sweetheart, and he stood by me every step of the way. My parents were upset but supportive, and I understood that. They loved me.” Davis cradled her head against the curve of his neck, his breath warm against her skin. “Allison was only three years old, and I was still in high school. My mom watched her during the day, and—” She choked up, her words fading. Again, Davis’s patience bolstered her. “We had a pool in the back, and my mom was talking to my dad on the phone. Somehow Allison got out and she drowned.”
She looked at him, and he closed his eyes and hugged her hard. He drew a deep, uneven breath, his voice raw with emotion. “God, Kai, I’m so very sorry.” Moved by the depth of feeling in that one hoarsely spoken declaration, she simply lost her battle against her grief. Kai clutched at him, desolate sobs shuddering through her body, one desperate emotion after another ripping through her. Her purge was soul-shattering. The outpouring of her grief ravaged her.
“I was devastated, and I couldn’t forgive my mother for her inattention or my father for being the one who distracted her. My husband and I left, staying with a friend until we finished high school. My husband got into a car accident several weeks later and he died. I’m not sure if it was his grief that caused it or not. It doesn’t matter now.” She took a shuddering breath. “I enlisted in the Marine Corps the moment I graduated, and I’ve never spoken to my parents since.”
She’d defined her life by her grief, not realizing that she’d kept it alive and a barrier to all her relationships because of her fear of ever trusting anyone ever again. Her grief had created a spiral of despair where she just kept suffering because the people she’d trusted most in her life broke that trust and bitterly disappointed her. She could see that so clearly now and with that revelation, she could barely comprehend what she could do to finally let it go.