27
Give – Sleep Token
“I lied.”
Santino stopped stroking my arm and waited for me to continue. “When I said that I wasn’t afraid of you…I lied.”
The sun’s rays peeked through the curtains, and I realized I’d lost track of time. Hours had rolled by since I revealed my past, but Santino didn’t seem to mind. He listened and held me when a memory became too painful. Yet despite his compassion, the fear of his judgment had a vise grip on my heart.
“I’ve been through things that some people don’t get to come back from. And if they do, they’re never the same. I was violated and left for dead. I might have been breathing the day I woke up in that hospital room, but they had already killed everything inside me that mattered.”
“That’s bullshit, preziosa .”
A frail laugh left my lips. “No, I’m tainted, Santino.” My voice shook, eyes filling with tears I thought had run dry.
“Look at me.” Sitting up, he took me with him, positioning me over his lap. “The only one of us ruined here is me,” he said, swiping at my wet cheeks. “I don’t know what you did or how you did it, but fuck, baby, I’m gone for you. You’re mine.”
My heart thundered, beating out of my chest at a pace I was sure would render me unconscious when I came crashing down from this high. But I was willing to fall…for him. I’d finally had a taste of happiness, something I hadn’t felt in so long, and I wanted more. The world had taken everything from me, and it was finally my turn to steal my life back. For tonight or however long we had.
Fuck it.
There would be plenty of time for regret tomorrow, but this moment was mine.
“Make me,” I murmured against his mouth. “Make me yours.”
His eyes darkened, and he flipped us over, burying his face in my neck. I bit my lip to keep the noises rising in my throat from escaping.
Maybe I was crazy, but I needed this no matter what emotional toll came after. I’d deal with the fallout later…or not. But there wasn’t anyone else I would have chosen to share this moment with…to take this risk.
“I want you to tell me if and when to stop.”
Nodding, I pulled him in for a kiss. Santino couldn’t understand what his words meant to me. My past was muddied with men—no, monsters—who treated me like I wasn’t even human. Like I was worthless. But in his eyes, I saw pieces of that girl I used to know.
“Don’t stop,” I begged as his mouth covered my nipple. His licks were cautious at first, as if gauging my response, but when a rolling moan slipped from my mouth, he went all in, alternating between deep pulls and tongue swipes.
“I’m going to touch you. Can I do that?”
Clutching the sides of his hair, I grinned and warned him. “I’ll stab you if you don’t.”
My bravado wavered as he slid a hand over my hip, coaxing my thighs open and dipping his fingers between them. I jerked slightly at the contact, and he snapped his attention to my face.
A silent exchange drifted between us, and I arched my back when his thumb rolled over my clit in tight circles.
“Open up for me.”
I relaxed and rocked against him as pleasure guided my thrusts.
“More,” I whispered, throwing one leg over his back.
Santino popped my nipple out of his mouth and gazed into my eyes as he pushed two fingers inside me. A gasp filled my lungs, but instead of looking at me for reassurance, he pressed his lips to my trembling belly and sunk deeper.
“That’s it, baby. Just let go. Let me make you feel good,” he said, nipping at my earlobe. “Let me show you how you deserve to be worshiped.”
I didn’t trust my own voice as his curved fingers slid in and out, so I grabbed him by the back of his neck and crushed his mouth to mine. He swallowed every moan and every cry of his name until my body shivered on the brink of an orgasm.
“Come for me, preziosa . I’ll never forget the way you looked when you came apart in my lap. Bellissima .” I kissed him harder, smothering a whimper when he slipped in a third finger. The stretch was painful, but I pushed through, rocking my hips and letting myself drown in my glimpse at euphoria before intrusive thoughts and memories could slip through the cracks.
I felt their suffocating weight clawing at the doors to the vault in my mind. But I refused to let them win. Where pain was always violence and revenge, this moment belonged to me.
Maybe that was my vengeance.
And I was finally freed from their shackles.
I ran a hand down my face and huffed a shaky sigh, rising to my elbows in time to catch Santino licking his fingers.
“So fucking sweet.”
Nerves buzzed in my belly, but there was no turning back. I reached for his waistband, and we locked eyes as I worked his belt. Words weren’t necessary. We knew what would happen here.
Santino’s cock sprung free, and I found myself momentarily frozen. This was the first one I’d actually seen. I expected to feel a rise of panic, but curiosity took over at seeing a piece of jewelry piercing the tip.
“Did that hurt?” I asked, almost impulsively.
“Of course.”
“Will it…hurt?”
His smile wavered, and he tipped my chin. “It shouldn’t. But if you haven’t done this in a while, then…” Santino trailed off, uncertainty creasing his expression. “I’m sorry…”
I arched up and pressed a short kiss to his lips. “Don’t be. It has been…a while. But I need this. I want you,” I said, bringing a hand to his erection. “I’m done being afraid. This is the last shred of power they hold over me.”
He closed his hand over mine, guiding my strokes and giving me the confidence to push through my nerves. As hard as he was, I appreciated his patience.
“Thank you.”
“Are you thanking me?” he asked, his smile between perplexed and amused.
“I am. Now, shut up and follow through with your promise.”
He chuckled with one hand around my waist and laid us back on the mattress. Feeling a little bold, I let my thighs fall open, enjoying the hungry look in his eyes.
“You’re beautiful.”
Men had always paid me compliments, but they were just words laced with desire and the hopes that I’d let them fuck me. But Santino made me feel beautiful again despite my scars, past, and the broken woman I saw staring back at me in the mirror.
“So are you.” Reaching for his cock, I stroked his thick length. Every pump coaxed more pre-cum to leak from the slit, and besides feeling slightly anxious, I was fascinated. Not only was he big, and pretty even, but he was pierced. The thought should have worried me, but I was aching for him.
With another chuckle, he pressed a kiss to my inner thigh.
“Come here.” He took my hand and pulled me into his lap. I straddled him, arms behind his neck, his erection between us. Framing my face with his free hand, he said, “You’re dripping down your thighs, and as much as I want to run my tongue and taste every fucking drop of you, I want you to do this on your terms. Sit up.”
I pushed up on my knees as Santino guided his cock between my legs and slid the piercing over my clit and along my wet seam. “I want you to feel good, and when you’re ready, you’re going to sit your sweet little cunt down.”
Tingles flooded my core, and I nodded, my eyes lidded as the metal nicked against my swollen flesh, over and over.
“Santi…so good,” I murmured, rocking my pussy harder against him, my hands on his shoulders.
“Just like that, baby. This is all you.” The gravel in his voice pushed me close to the edge. He’d handed me the power, but I could hear the strain in his tone, and his self-restraint just made me want to fuck him even more.
“I need you. All of you.” My lips brushed his ear as I circled my arms behind his nape.
“I’m yours.”
Our eyes met, and I stilled my hips when he positioned himself at my entrance.
“All you, preziosa .”
My mouth parted as I slid down, the stretch slightly more painful than I’d anticipated.
“Take your time,” he whispered, rubbing his thumb in soothing circles on my thigh.
Biting my lip, I let myself fall a little farther. “You’re too goddamn big,” I joked with a breathy chuckle.
Santino reached up and fisted my hair. The sting on my scalp made my pussy throb and slide just a bit more .
“You can take me, baby,” he said with a growl against my neck as he kissed and suckled. “I know you can. You know why?”
I threw my head back and breathed a response, “Why?”
“Because you were made for me.” More. “Your pussy, mine.” More. “You’re everything I never knew I was looking for.”
“Fuck,” I moaned as I took every last thick inch until he bottomed out inside me. He filled me out so good, the sweet pain curving my lips into a smile. “I did it.”
“You did.” Kissing me, he tightened his grip on my hair. “Now, ride what’s yours.”
“Like that?” I teased, rocking my hips.
Santino tugged my head back, and his groan vibrated against my nipple. “Just like that.”
“How about like this?” I rose and fell over his hard cock, the pain rolling into waves of delicious pleasure.
“ Sii mia per sempre, Amara. Always mine.”
“Santi,” I whined, my strokes faster. “Fuck me, please.”
Gripping my hips, with another feral growl, he thrust into me, meeting every descent until I was bouncing in his lap on the verge of an explosive orgasm. I whined louder with every slide against his shaft when his piercing hit a sensitive spot inside me.
The G-spot. That was a thing.
Santino’s hands were on my ass cheeks, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see their outline in a bruise in the morning. I grinned at the thought.
“You feel so good. So fucking good.”
“Fuck, Santi…I’m—” One more drag of that sweet piece of jewelry, in and out, and I was done.
Shattered.
I crumpled over his shoulder, teeth opened against his skin as I cried out. The tighter I contracted around him, the harder he slammed into me until he followed me over the edge. Santino wrapped his arms around me, grunting as his thrusts slowed until we were both a panting, boneless mess.
The warmth of the morning sun touched our damp bodies. We’d yet to sleep, but neither wanted to let go of this moment. He pulled me close to his side and caressed my shoulder, lips pressed to my hairline.
“We didn’t use protection. Should we be worried?”
“No, we shouldn’t be.”
He didn’t press the issue, and my belly fluttered, knowing I had his trust.
If there was anything predictable in my life, it was my cycle. As a dancer, it was imperative to keep track. However, nothing was guaranteed, and we certainly needed to be more responsible next time.
Next time , I thought with a smile.
The fears of what that moment would be like seemed almost silly. Justified as they were. While my trauma would never leave me, I felt a little lighter than yesterday.
“How do you feel?” he asked, as if reading my mind.
“Who knew something so small could bring so much pleasure.”
Santino froze, and then erupted into laughter. His laugh was contagious. Fuck, he was so handsome. I would absolutely risk it all for another orgasm.
“You know I’m talking about your piercing,” I said, running my fingers up his chiseled abs and over his chest, where I felt a familiar disturbance—a light scar between his pecks.
His laughter quelled when he noticed and cupped my hand.
“What happened?”
“I had surgery when I was a boy. Passed out one day at nursery, and my mother was told I had a defect in my heart.”
My own chest tightened.
“Are you okay?”
Using his thumb, he smoothed out the worry lines along the bridge of my nose and smiled.
“I am. There are scars on my heart, preziosa . But maybe it was always meant to be that way.”
I rested my head over the rhythmic beating, seeking assurance that it was indeed healthy. “We’re all a little broken.”
“Maybe,” he said, bringing my wrist to his lips and kissing the discolored skin. “But I’ve never felt more whole than this moment with you.”