40
The shower cut off, but it was another fifteen minutes before Amara emerged from the bathroom, steam swirling above the door. We made eye contact from across the room. Her beautiful eyes were red-rimmed and slightly puffy. She’d been crying intermittently for a good portion of the day. Reuniting with her brother had brought her tears of absolute joy, but those emotions weren’t here now. Sadness soured her features, and her mouth quivered.
“Come here, preziosa .”
She intended to sit beside me, but I pulled her into my lap and wiped a lone tear from her cheek. “Talk to me.”
With a shaky breath, she touched my face. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry if you feel I didn’t trust you enough to reveal my name and ties to Kai and Derek. It was me. I didn’t trust myself,” she said, kissing the tip of my nose. “I thought that spilling blood and changing my name was the only way to reconcile my past and save what was left of me. But I know now that I’ve been just running from who I was—who I a m . And I’m so sorry, Santi.”
“Do you think I’m upset?”
She shrugged. “Maybe. You deserved the truth.”
I ran my thumb across her bottom lip and rested my forehead on hers. “Baby, I could never judge your choices and how or when you dealt with everything you went through. I knew you’d open up to me when you were ready. And maybe your hand was forced today, but I’m a patient man when it comes to you. I’d wait an eternity.”
Releasing a heavy breath, she shook her head. “I never thought I’d meet someone like you—that someone could love me when I didn’t even love myself. Why are you so good to me?”
“ Ti amo. It’s that simple. I’ve never loved another woman besides my mother.”
She chuckled and wiped her tears.
“You came along and buried yourself deep into my black heart.”
Her lips were soft, her mouth sweet. No matter where we touched, I felt connected to this woman, like she’d somehow always been a part of me, even when I didn’t know it. Like we were always meant to be.
“Giada made some fresh panna cotta.”
Amara laughed against my lips and nodded, shifting her legs to stand, but I scooped her up and carried her to the kitchen.
“I could get used to this.”
“Good.”
I poured myself a drink and served her dessert.
“Amalia and I are meeting tomorrow for lunch. She seems nice.”
“Debatable, considering she pointed a gun at my face.”
Amara laughed and smeared cream on my lips. “Well, to be fair, I’d do the same if someone threatened your life.”
“Yeah? You must like me or something.”
With her hands on my cheeks, she licked the white frosting, and her eyes darkened. “Something like that.”
“Is that all?” I asked, pushing her robe over her shoulders. It pooled on the counter and around her waist. I flicked her exposed nipple with my thumb and kissed the other until both jutted into perfectly taut peaks.
Amara reached for my glass of whiskey, took a sip, and pinched a small ice cube between her fingers.
“I don’t know that I deserve you…” she said, tracing my lip.
“Bullshit. You deserve the world. And I’m going to give it to you.”
I sucked the cube into my mouth and brushed the cold tip over her nipple. She moaned softly at the chilly sensation and curled her fingers into my hair.
“All I need is you, Santi.”
My hands cupped behind her knees, and I tugged her closer, alternating between her breasts. The ice melted against her warm skin, creating small rivulets down her stomach.
“I’m not going anywhere, preziosa ,” I murmured, licking up the droplets as the shrunken cube slid out of my mouth and between her legs.
Her white thong was already damp before the melting ice, and I decided the wetter, the better. Spreading her thighs, I swiped my tongue against the cloth and trapped it between my teeth.
“I need you to make it so I can’t walk,” she said with a light moan, pushing my face closer to her pussy.
She didn’t need to tell me twice. My favorite dessert was spread open, wet, and begging to be devoured.
I slid the white fabric down her legs, tossed it, then tugged her to my mouth. Every lick of my tongue made her jolt and cry my name. Amara never looked more beautiful than when she was drunk with lust, on the verge of coming apart on my cock or in my mouth. It filled me with pride and a sense of purpose. I wanted to break her, erase her pain, and put her back together time and time again. I’d spend the rest of my life buried inside her until it was only me she remembered.
“How about we make this interesting?” When I pressed a kiss to her swollen clit, her thighs shuddered around my head. She was two tongue strokes away from coming .
“Interesting?” she panted, yanking my hair. “Like me killing you kind of interesting?”
I laughed and flicked her one last time before reaching for another ice cube and sucking it into my mouth. With an ass cheek in each hand, I pressed the cold cube against her with the flat of my tongue.
“Oh…my god,” she whimpered, leaning back on her elbows and dipping her head. “Maybe you’ll kill me first.”
The droplets mixed with her arousal, and I’d never been thirstier. I lapped and sucked until my head was in a vise between her thighs, and she was cursing and praying in Portuguese.
“Santi, wait,” she cried, scooting away as I continued drinking down every drop.
Gripping her knees, I yanked her back to my hungry mouth and spread her open. “I haven’t had my fill yet. Let me enjoy my own little creamsicle.”
Amara couldn’t help chuckling between hard breaths and her pleas for mercy. It wasn’t until she came apart again and reached for a fork that I swept my tongue over her clit one last time and released her legs.
“You…were…this…close,” she breathed, collapsing on the counter.
“I’ll risk your wrath every time, preziosa , if it means getting my fill and making sure my girl is properly tongue-fucked.”
She flashed me her brightest smile, and I couldn’t help but do the same. Only I felt the heat of that gesture in my chest, my heart swelling as my love for her grew and moved through me.
“I love you,” I said, scooping her into my arms as I made my way through the home.
“Santi, I need you to know…”
Her voice was low, and I hung on her every breath, waiting to hear the words forming on her tongue.
“When I told you that I didn’t deserve love, I also meant that I couldn’t love anyone either.”
If my devotion to her proved I indeed had a heart, then the crushing weight of her words solidified it when I felt the jagged pieces unraveling .
“I told you once that I’ll take whatever you give and wait as long as you need.”
Another smile touched her lips. “Then it’s a good thing I want to give you everything.” My dying heart thundered, and I placed her on the bed.
“What did you just say?” I asked, climbing over her.
Amara’s warm touch on my face forced my eyes closed until she spoke again.
“I love you, Santi.” She kissed me softly, nipping at my lip. “ Eu te amo. ”
“Fuck,” I said, diving in, deepening the kiss and our connection. I shed my clothes, and she locked her ankles behind my back as I slid inside her. “God, I love you.”
My mouth closed over her nipple as I coaxed the sweetest fucking sounds from her lips. I couldn’t get enough of her hands in my hair and her nails in my scalp. But tonight, I wanted nothing more than to devour her, leave her in utter ruin, and do it again.
With one hand, I trapped both of her wrists and raised them tightly above her head.
I bucked into her, and she tensed. Fearing I’d been too rough, my next thrust was slower as I trailed kisses up her trembling abdomen.
Trembling.
When I focused on her face, it was as if a bucket of ice water had been thrown over my head.
“Amara?”
But she didn’t answer. Instead, she thrashed violently and screamed incoherent words.
“Amara!”
“No, no, please stop!” Her flailing intensified the tighter I tried to restrain her.
And like a flash of fucking lightning, it hit me. I released her hands and shot off the bed. Amara curled into herself and cried.
“I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “I didn’t mean to…I thought…I do n’t know what I thought.”
Kneeling on the floor beside her, I dared to lift a curl from her face, and she jerked.
“No, baby, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have held you down like that. I didn’t know.”
She froze and lifted her teary gaze. In the next breath, she dove off the bed and into my arms, holding on to me so tightly it was almost painful. But I’d bear it all for her—whatever she needed. There was no greater pain she could inflict that would cause more hurt than the raw guilt of what I’d done. Just like that, I’d become one of her monsters.
“I didn’t know either,” she whispered, looking at her wrists and touching the scar. “I spent so long tied down, and when you…”
“I’m sorry,” I rasped, cradling her face.
Her tears rolled over my hands. “They ruined me.”
I wrapped her in my arms.
“ Mia preziosa , I can’t erase what happened. But I’ll spend forever loving every beautiful inch of you.” Her soft cries shook her chest. “Showing you how deeply you’ve carved a home in my heart. Until their poison can no longer reach you.”
Her lips pressed against my neck, and I felt her body relax, molding against mine.
Amara wasn’t the peace I thought I craved. Her touch was rage, passion, and pain. Like the collision of two storms, her love feeds my soul and sets the ashes of my heart on fire.