CHAPTER 2
“Come on, Mackenzie.” Riley grasped my hand tightly and led me through the jostling crowd crammed into the Aurora. I followed him, a little overwhelmed by the scene. Neon beer signs hung on the fabric walls, which were nearly shaking in time with the explosive bass pumping from the speakers. A thick haze of smoke hung suspended in the air, and cigarette butts littered the floor, which was in parts sticky, in other parts wet and slimy. High pedestal tables lined the central dance floor and the walls were bordered with ripped vinyl booths. Everywhere, there were people, some disgustingly drunk, others just to the rowdy point, others looking around timidly as they sipped their water (obviously designated drivers). Riley squeezed us through the crush until we finally made it to the booth where our friends had already gathered.
“Hello, boys.” I smiled as we approached. They shoved over to make room, Ben, Jessie, Toby…and some random girl I’d never met. I nodded at her and sat down, a little disappointed she was there. I liked it better when it was just me and the boys. They were all my closest friends, nothing sexual at all, but I always felt…special, to be the only one in their crowd. I could trust them completely.
“Oh hey. Mac, this is Charlie.” Riley introduced.
I swept my eyes over her quickly and decided I didn’t like her. I wasn’t a fan of girls to begin with, and this one was blonde and thin and pretty and had a cool name. I smiled briefly at her and took off my jacket. I’d never been comfortable in tiny little halter-tops like the one Charlie was wearing, but my black Cry-Baby t-shirt was a child’s size, hugging me in just the right places, showing a decent amount of my flat stomach and newly acquired bellybutton ring. My jeans hung low on the hip, and silver hoops hung from my ears. I’d applied plenty of dark eyeliner and lip-gloss and pulled my long hair up into a high, messy ponytail. I looked good—at least, I hoped I did.
Toby grinned widely at me, his pupils large and dark in the dim light, compliments of the mushrooms he and Riley had taken earlier.
“How you doing, my friend?” I wondered knowingly.
“Good. Yeah, yeah. I’m good.” Toby exhaled heavily, shaking his dark head of unruly hair. Like he was trying to convince himself.
“How about you, Jessie?”
“Better now. You’re looking hot, Mac.” He nodded.
I smiled my gratitude. Another reason I liked guys better.
Riley slid onto the seat next to me. He settled himself in and then slipped something into my hand. “Here. After you take it, drink only water. Understand?”
“Oh. Okay.” I nodded, like a child taking instruction from a parent. I felt the small round pill in my palm, and excitement surged in my stomach. This was going to be the best night ever. It was early for a bar to be so packed, bespeaking of the band’s fame, and the crowd was loud and unruly, here to party. The music blared over the speakers, fast, synthesized dance songs that only added to my stimulation. I watched the people coming and going, ordered rye from the waitress and just took in the scene, a huge grin on my face, happy to be there partying with my friends.
Riley glared at me as the waitress shoved a jug in my direction, his brown eyes lost in the immense width of his pupil. He watched me take a drink.
“I told you no booze.” He demanded.
“But I haven’t taken it yet.” I had to yell to be heard.
“Take it now. No more of these.” He grabbed the drink from my hand and replaced it with a glass of water.
I hesitated a moment, as I always did before taking anything illicit and mind-altering. For some reason, I had to weigh the consequences, but even if they were potentially severe, inevitably, I’d take whatever it was. I was seventeen and invincible, ready for a good time, eager and willing to experience everything life had to offer.
I smiled at Riley and shrugged, popping the Ecstasy into my mouth, tasting the chemical-chalk on my tongue before washing it down with a big gulp of water. I opened my mouth wide, showing him it was all gone. He grinned at me and then leaned in to whisper.
“Don’t go anywhere without telling me. Okay? ”
“Okay.” I agreed. It touched me when Riley was like that, when he took care of me. I smiled warmly at him. “You either.”
The crowd was reaching a fever pitch around me, but as time went on, it all became a blur. I was aware of myself, unconsciously chain-smoking, grinning from ear to ear in my comfortable seat at the back of the table. The music was pumping into my soul, it seemed, the lights beckoning, the rhythm washing over me. I felt gloriously, deliriously happy, like there was a pent-up energy within me that needed to be expelled and could only do so in the form of radiating euphoria.
“How are you feeling, Mac?” Riley leaned over to me once. I looked at him and smiled with all the love in my heart.
“I love you, Riley. I love you.” I professed emphatically.
He looked surprised at first, but then after a moment, he laughed sheepishly.
“Yeah. E will do that to you.”
He was right. I even told Charlie I loved her at least once. But I did—at that moment I loved each and every person near me with all my heart. Everything was perfect, the lights, the music, the people surrounding me, the dance floor…
“Riley, let’s dance.” I decided suddenly. It was the best idea I’d ever had.
“Zee, I don’t really…”
I wasn’t listening. I stood and grasped his hand, dragging him along. The crowd was no longer overwhelming as I shoved our way through, reaching at last the cramped little dance space with the coloured block floor. I stared at the changing colours in awe until Riley shook me out of my trance. Laughing, we started to dance, closely, compelled by the tight crowd to move even closer together. As we danced to Papa Roach, I shut my eyes, felt the music, felt the heat from the people around me. My hips swaying, my arms in the air, my hair damp around my face.
When I opened my eyes again, Riley wasn’t dancing at all. He was standing there, staring at me. I couldn’t discern the look on his face. It nearly alarmed me to sobriety.
“You okay, Ry?”
“Yeah, I… Look, I have to talk to you, Mackenzie. I have to tell you something.”
I shut my eyes again, I couldn’t help it. It felt so good to dance, so freeing.
“Can we talk later, Riley?”
“No. Mac—” Suddenly, the music was cut, the crowd cheering lustily as the band took their places on stage. “Come with me.” Riley mouthed, running his hand through his dark hair, agitated by the mushrooms he was on, agitated by all the noise. It got worse when the band started playing, launching into a heavy, driving song, people pressing in around us, moshing, dancing, the music blaring through the speakers. It was loud, rowdy.
Chaotic.
But when I looked up at the stage, everything went quiet. Everything else faded away.
He was gorgeous. And it wasn’t just the E talking. I actually heard myself gasp at the sight. His jeans were ripped and tightly hugged his thighs, spread apart below a sleek red guitar. Deft fingers skimmed across the strings, strumming, picking, changing chords. His hands were tanned and dark; his arms tattooed and muscled, his torso covered by a dark black t-shirt, tight enough to hint at the firm chest beneath. His hair was dark and short and messy, his cheeks stubbled, his face passionate as he crooned into the microphone.
He was the hottest guy I’d ever seen. Not in a pretty boy way, but in a motorbike riding, bad boy kind of way. It wasn’t just his looks; it was the way his face contorted as he screamed into the mic, the unbridled passion with which he sang.
I had to have him. My eyes stayed glued to his form as Riley pushed his way through the crowd, dragging me back to our table. I stopped there, refusing to go further, refusing to do anything but watch my dream man sing.
“Who is that Riley?” I asked breathlessly, transfixed.
“Who?”
“The singer.”
Riley looked up, then back at me quickly, his face showing alarm. “Why?”
“Because I want to know.”
He sighed. “That’s Grey. That’s the guy from work.”
“Grey,” I repeated in a breathless whisper. “Like the colour grey?”
“I don’t know. Can we go, Mac? I really need to talk to you.”
“Can you introduce me to him?”
“What? Sure—whatever—just…just hold on…” Riley searched through his pockets until he located his vibrating cell phone. A customer calling. “Shit. I have to take this. I’ll be right back; just stay here, okay?” His tall form disappeared then, through the crowd in the direction of the exit.
I turned my full attention back to the gorgeous man onstage, watching Grey, memorizing every move he made. I wasn’t the only one. Everywhere I looked, girls were staring, salivating, debating taking their shirts off, I could tell. Though their music was good, I suddenly understood why Serpentine was so popular.
It only made me want him more .
I flopped down at the table, Ecstasy lights dancing before my eyes.
“You okay, Mac?” Toby wondered.
“Yeah, I’m good.” I smiled, distracted. “You?”
He raised his eyebrows. “These mushrooms are intense.”
“Oh yeah? In a bad way?”
“No. Good, in a good way.” He decided.
“Okay.” I leaned back against him. “Good.”
Riley didn’t return until after the band was finished. The stage was dim and empty by the time he slid back into the booth, silent, ghost-pale, his eyes darting rapidly.
“You okay, Ry?” I wondered in alarm, looking him over. “What took you so long?”
“I’m good, I’m fine.” He sniffed and wiped at his nose.
I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. “Okay, so…do you want to talk or what?”
But Riley ignored me, looking out past the table, nodding as someone approached.
“Hey, man.” He greeted, with an elaborate handshake. “Here, have a seat.”
Then, strong arms were rested on the tabletop beside, leather-studded bracelets upon the wrist, a beer in the hand. To my delight, the owner of those limbs was none other than Grey, who proved even more handsome up close.
His eyes were dark blue and fathomless, his lips full and brooding. Cool and detached, as if he were completely indifferent to what was going on around him, even his smile was apathetic, guarded almost.
I leaned forward with rapt attention.
“Sorry man, I missed most of your show. But what I heard was good.” Riley apologized. Grey nodded.
“I heard it all. And it was awesome.” I interjected, throwing Grey an inviting smile. He glanced briefly at me and shrugged, turning his attention back to Riley.
“Something tells me you’re responsible for the blackness of her eyes.” Grey chuckled slightly, tilting his beer against his lips.
“Yeah,” Riley muttered.
“It explains why I liked your band so much, anyway,” I was blatantly eavesdropping, but shamelessly holding out my hand. “Forgive Riley’s rudeness. I’m Mackenzie.”
“Mackenzie.” Grey hesitated a moment, then grasped my hand in his. The contact was brief, but his palm was warm, his touch electrifying. “Grey. ”
“Grey,” I repeated slowly. He was strong and rugged and rough, a total man in every sense of the word. Suddenly I wanted to know everything there was to know about him, and I wanted him to know me…to know every part of me.
If there was such a thing as love at first sight, I think it happened to me right then.
“Want to come back to the VIP room?” Grey was asking Riley. “All kinds of fun to be had back there.”
“Well, actually, we were about to…” Riley sat back and turned to me. His face was completely pale now, chalky and white. “We were just about to leave.”
“Oh, no. We can stay. I’d love to stay, wouldn’t you?” I smiled hopefully at my friend, tingling at the prospect. “Ry, we can talk later, can’t we? Come on, VIP!”
Riley didn’t answer. He just looked at me—his expression wary, his eyes wide, searching mine. Like he was worried. Upset about something.
Then he sighed with a shake of his head. “You know what? Forget about it.” Abruptly he stood, slapping Grey on the shoulder as he passed. “Take care of her, Grey. I’m out of here.”
“Wait, Ry!” I called in disbelief. “Don’t go. Stay and hang out. Ry? Riley!”
He was already gone, deaf to my protests, swallowed up by the crowd.
“Something’s up with him. This isn’t like him at all.” I turned to Grey, confused. “Do you know what it is?”
“Nah.” Grey shook his head nonchalantly, peeling the label off his beer bottle. “He looked kinda twitchy. Maybe a bad trip.”
“Do you think he’ll be okay? Should I go with him?”
Grey shrugged noncommittally.
I frowned in doubt as Toby tapped me on the shoulder.
“Mac, I guess we’re heading out. Coming?” He asked.
I was torn. I desperately wanted to go to the VIP with Grey—even though I wasn’t really invited or sure he wanted me there—and Riley was acting so weird, almost like he was angry with me. Maybe it was just the mushrooms. Or the other drugs.
I bit my lip indecisively.
Grey chugged the rest of his beer and set it down like he was about to leave.
I panicked.
“If I stay, can I come with you?” I heard myself asking. Deep down, I felt foolish asking a perfect stranger (especially one as hot as Grey) to hang out with me. I felt like I was twelve years old, and yet, I really didn’t care. Anything that bought me more time with Grey was worth it.
“Suit yourself,” was his reply.
“Okay, Toby, I’m going to stay.” I decided excitedly. I stood up and gathered my things. “Have fun, okay? I’ll call you.”
“Are…are you sure, Mac?” Toby eyed Grey, doubtfully.
“Yes. Will you keep an eye on Riley for me, though?”
“Sure thing, but—”
“‘Kay, bye Toby! I have my cell!” I waved and turned hastily to follow Grey, whose muscular form was already heading towards the back of the club. I didn’t want him to see me running after him, so I tried ever so casually to make up the distance between us while seeming as aloof as he did. Finally, I found myself right behind him, pressed against him at times when the crowd surged. At one point, when I fell behind, he noticed and grabbed my hand so we wouldn’t be separated. I nearly swooned at the strength of his hand, possibly one of the most thrilling moments of my life.
The VIP room was just an extension of the club; it had the same fabric walls and faded carpet, but the lights were even dimmer and for the moment, there was space to move around. When we entered, Grey was greeted with cheers and handshakes and shouting, and someone handed us each a beer. Briefly, I remembered Riley’s warning not to drink, even as I popped the cap off and took a swig.
I’m not sure when it happened (maybe when I was fumbling with my beer bottle), but when I looked up again, Grey had disappeared. Nervously, I searched for him through the crowd, feeling awkward and out of place, invisible, ignored by his friends. Cheeks flushing in embarrassment, I lit a cigarette, fully prepared to go and find Riley once it was finished.
But my resolve was like my cigarette (up in smoke) when Grey was suddenly present again, mixing with the others in the main part of the room. He looked happier now, more at ease, almost jovial at times. I watched him laughing, joking with his friends—a completely different Grey from the one I’d met earlier, popular and lively instead of brooding and dispassionate.
I think by that point my eyes were in the shape of hearts, like when cartoons fall in love. I stood alone in the back, trying to look as pretty as possible, willing in my heart for him to notice me but too intimidated by his crowd to do anything else about it.
Gathering my courage, I made my way past him to a stool at the VIP bar .
“Two shots of Crown,” I ordered, completely disregarding Riley’s warning now. I was too nervous and uncomfortable not to drink, which was completely his fault. If Riley hadn’t effed off for no good reason, I would’ve had someone to talk to instead of sitting there alone, like a total tool.
I paid the lady and flipped back my first shot expertly.
A sudden hand grabbed my other shot before I had the chance.
“I’ll take that, thank you.” Grey decided, flopping down on the barstool beside me, tipping back my shooter and slamming it loudly on the bar.
“What are you doing?” I looked at him with shock, only half-annoyed. The other half was thrilled by his very presence.
“A water for her, please.” He ordered, and the bartender obliged with a smile, plunking an icy glass before him. He slid it my way.
“Mackenzie, right?”
“Yes.”
“You shouldn’t be drinking, kiddo. Not when you’re as high as you look.”
“Ugh.” I gave him a look of complete disgust. “Don’t call me kiddo.”
“Sorry.” A smirk curled his lips, the first smile I’d ever received from him. “How old are you anyway?”
“Seventeen. Tragic, isn’t it?”
“Doesn’t seem to be holding you back any.”
“I guess not.” I shrugged. “Why, how old are you?”
“How old do you think?”
“I don’t know…,” I bit my lip in thought, “given the stubble, I’d say…forty-two, forty-three? Am I close?” I giggled.
“Ouch.” He smirked again. “Now that’s tragic.”
“Okay,” I laughed, “for real. How old are you?”
“Twenty-one. Old enough to know better.” Grey shrugged and smiled at me, a real smile this time. I grinned right back, crazily, foolishly in love with him.
Then my cell phone rang.
“Uh, hold on one sec,” I mumbled hastily, checking the number before flipping the phone open. The call was from Ben’s house.
“Hey, Ben.” I hoped my voice held just enough impatience. “What’s up?”
“Man, you gotta get over here right away. Riley’s totally freaking out.”
My heart hit the bottom of my stomach. I stood up off the stool.
“What do you mean freaking out? Is he okay? What’s going on? ”
“I don’t know. I think it’s the mush. He’s goin’ crazy; Mac. He says you’re the only one that’ll make him feel better.”
“Tell him I’m coming, okay? I’m on my way.” I hung up quickly and stuffed my phone hastily in my purse. “I gotta go. I guess Riley’s having a bad trip.”
“Shit, really?”
“Yeah.” I threw my coat on. “I don’t even really know what to do.”
“Not much you can do. He’s gotta ride it out. And no matter how much he begs, don’t take him to the hospital. No one ever died from a mushroom trip. He’ll just get himself in shit.”
“Thanks.” I smiled at Grey regretfully. How I wished I could stay. “I guess I’ll see you around?”
“Have a good night, kiddo.”
I shot him a look and shook my head, and we were smiling at each other as I reluctantly turned to leave him.