Life of the Party (Wayward #1)

CHAPTER 8

I sighed heavily, doodling in my binder, ignoring the teacher as he went over the materials we should study for finals. The thought of those dreaded exams bored me nearly to tears. I sighed again. Everything was boring.

My entire life was in the doldrums.

I couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment it happened, but suddenly my schedule was full with work (of all things), and I was home relatively early every night, giving me ample time for homework (or it would’ve, had I wanted to do it). Stone-sober most days, stuck at Ben’s house watching the same damn movie or suffering through my sister’s constant wedding planning (along with her fiancé’s collared shirts and his un-funny jokes that kept my parents in stitches) every weekend, with no end in sight.

I’d made little to no progress with Grey, either. On the nights we happened to work together (which weren’t very often) his moods changed so much I was confused on the best of days. He was never openly hostile again, but he ranged between totally indifferent and nonchalant to smiling at me openly from behind the order counter.

To say I was baffled was an understatement, but at least he was generally friendly, (and totally gorgeous, of course).

But the real reason for my doldrums…was Riley. I barely saw him anymore—only in the mornings when we drove to school, and the random nights we happened to work together. The rest of his time he spent with Emily, or the “Christian,” as I called her.

I’d done a little reconnaissance work on Riley’s little friend. Emily ran the lunchtime group Riley disappeared to every day—some bible thing they were doing. He thought I didn’t know, and he refused to talk to me about it or her, which could only mean they were getting serious .

The thought made me nearly sick to my stomach, but I was trying—really trying—to be a good friend, to not nag, to stay positive and keep a brave face.

It just seemed like the more I tried, the more he slipped away from me.

The arrival of summer was only making things worse. Its warm, hazy air encouraged all manner of wild teenage activity—reminding me, painfully, of everything we were missing out on. All the plans Riley and I had made for this time of year. Bonfires. Concerts. A camping trip upriver somewhere, all the booze and drugs we could want.

The kind of activities I craved. The kind of fun I was desperate for, with him.

It had been so long. Wasn’t it my turn?

Surely, he could handle slumming it a little with me.

I had my plan in action the moment the bell rang. I nearly sprinted down the hall toward Riley’s locker, smiling victoriously when I beat him there and turned to wait. Kids rushed by me on their way to the cafeteria or to the parking lot and their awaiting cars; some pushed through the nearby doors to begin the walk uptown to the convenience store.

Finally, I spotted Riley coming down the hallway. I smiled in greeting, hopeful…until I saw Emily close beside him.

The smile fell from my face.

It was nothing new, seeing them together. That wasn’t what threw me.

This time, the kids had to move around them instead of barging through the middle because, to my horrified eyes, Riley’s hand was wrapped tightly in Emily’s, their fingers as intertwined as their eyes seemed to be, completely oblivious to all those around them. Completely oblivious to me.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Like I’d been kicked in the guts, like I’d been horribly, brutally betrayed. I wanted to scream. I fought the urge to run over and tear his hand from hers and make him look at me. Anything to snap some sense into him.

I can’t imagine what my expression was like. When Riley finally tore his eyes away from her, when he finally noticed me there, his brows creased with worry.

But his hand was still tight around Emily’s.

“Mac? Are you okay? Someone die or something?” He asked.

“No—” I choked out, shaking my head. I couldn’t talk. My throat had closed.

“What’s up then? Oh, you know Emily, right?” Riley looked down at her and I saw it, the way his dark chocolate eyes warmed, how his face beamed at her name. He loved her. I knew he did. I wanted to cry right there in front of them .

How did this happen? How did I let this happen? I felt the panicky tears start climbing up my throat, gulping to hold them in.

“Riley, can I talk to you a sec?” I managed desperately.

“Uh, yeah. I’ll just be a minute, okay, Em?” He smiled at her again. “Save me a seat?”

She nodded submissively and grinned. “Don’t be late, okay? Bye, Mackenzie.”

I gave her a tight smile. It was probably more like a grimace, but at least I tried. Emily galumphed off down the hallway and I let my breath out, the tears held at bay for the moment.

“You okay? You look kind of terrible.” Riley smiled, glowing, opening his locker to exchange books. “Late night or something? Can’t say I miss that. It’s amazing the difference a good sleep makes. I’ve never felt better.”

“That’s really great.” I tried to be enthused, tried to seem light-hearted. It all sounded wooden to me. “Ry, I was going to ask…I was hoping we could hang out sometime soon…just me and you.” Emily was definitely not invited.

“Oh yeah? Sure…of course. Um…” Riley thought it over. I frowned impatiently. When did this become so awkward? Riley and I used to be like breathing. Natural. Autonomic. Now we had to watch ourselves, had to keep things from each other, had to think things through before saying them.

“I’m just not sure when,” he continued. “This week is crazy; when I’m not working, I’ve got to study, especially with the camping trip this weekend…”

“Camping trip?” I pounced eagerly. The faint hope he’d planned our trip in secret, to surprise me, glimmered briefly.

“Oh, we’re heading to the lake this weekend, Emily and her family and I, kind of a pre-grad celebration thing.”

“What?” My hope died, snuffed out with barely a fight. I couldn’t believe my ears. Anger and injustice began to mix with my panic and worry, roiling together just below the surface. “You’re going on our camping trip? With the Christian?” I said her nickname with as much disdain as I could muster.

Riley chuckled, but the sound was dangerous. “What did you just call her?”

I didn’t answer. I stared at him in disbelief, tears welling until my sight was blurry, my voice wobbly, my throat aching. “I can’t believe you.” I managed.

“What’s the big deal?” He frowned in concern, his own anger forgotten when he saw me crying. It worked like a charm, every time.

“I don’t know. I guess you’ve forgotten, since you’re so busy with her all the time. ”

“Leave her out of it. Get to the point, I’ve gotta go.” Riley was getting impatient. He had to go be with her, is what he meant.

“We were supposed to go on a camping trip, remember? Us! For pre-grad. We planned it for months. Remember?” My voice was thick.

“Yeah…sure, I remember.” He softened. “I told you, Mac, I can’t do those things anymore. You know I can’t. I’m sorry. I know it sucks.”

I frowned, crossing my arms around the volatile mixture of emotions within me. My entire chest seemed to burn.

“Come on, don’t be upset. I know…maybe I could ask Emily if you could come with us this weekend. We could all hang out. What do you say?”

I scoffed at him, bitterly. It wasn’t so much his words, as ridiculous as they were. It was the fake enthusiasm I could hear in his voice. He didn’t want me to go with them any more than I wanted to go.

He didn’t want me with him. And that killed me.

There were no words. The tears overwhelmed and spilled down my cheeks.

I shook my head and turned from him, heading blindly down the hallway. Part of me conscious, waiting to hear him call my name, waiting to hear his footsteps in pursuit.

He couldn’t just let me go, could he?

When he never came, when he never followed, I had my answer.

I knew.

Emily had replaced me, just as I feared.

Easier than I ever could’ve imagined.