27. What If?
27
WHAT IF?
They returned to Lime Tree Hill in silence. Tayla mentally played with her words all the way, wanting to agree to his suggestion but concerned at what would happen if she did. There’d be no going back once they took that step, and if it didn’t work out, how could they continue living together?
Mitch pulled into his usual parking space outside the packing shed. He left the Hilux without a word but smiled as he held the door open for her. Upstairs, one dim light glowed above the dining table, and CeCe had gone to bed. Mitch grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, unscrewed the lid, and took several gulps.
“You take my room.” He screwed the cap back on without looking at her. “I’ll sleep in the office.”
“I’m not putting you out of your own bed. I’ll take the office.”
“No, you won’t.”
She huffed a sigh. “Fine. We’ll share then, shall we? Do you have any extra pillows?”
Mitch frowned. “What for?”
“We could put a couple between us.”
He looked at her in disbelief. “Are you serious? If you don’t want me to touch you, just say so. But what are you afraid of? That you might enjoy it?”
Without waiting for an answer, he stormed toward their bedroom, pulling off his T-shirt and chucking it into the laundry room as he passed.
Tayla stayed in the kitchen. She picked up an orange from the fruit bowl. Put it back. This long day was about to become an even longer night. Thinking about it, the extra pillows did seem a little petty. After all, they’d shared a bed at Tulloch Point, but the closer they got physically, the more complex their purely business arrangement was becoming.
Ignoring the urge to sleep in the office, Tayla followed his energy down the hallway and into his bedroom. When Mitch strolled in from the bathroom, wearing nothing but his boxers, she couldn’t resist a sneaky peek. Tim’s photoshop skills hadn’t been needed after all. Those abs looked just as good as the billboard version. The thought of touching them scared her to death.
“Bathroom’s free.” Mitch climbed into bed and switched off his bedside lamp. He punched his pillow into shape. “Goodnight.”
In the bathroom, Tayla sat on the lid of the toilet seat as she considered his suggestion. Marriage with benefits. Sex! Because that’s what he meant. She already enjoyed the benefits of marriage to Mitch—living in his home rent-free at his insistence. A few groceries that weren’t available at the farm gate store her only contribution to the household expenses.
And now Mitch was offering a solution to the lonely nights and her need for touch. There was no doubt she was tired of being a virgin—and not just a virgin, but a timid one at that. But did she have the confidence to accept his proposal?
Back in the bedroom after a quick shower, she sat on the edge of the bed. She removed her panties but kept her slip on, then lay in the dark—the satin cool against her skin as her hands relaxed at her sides .
A shift in his position and the rhythm of his breathing told her he was still awake.
“I’m sorry I shut you down before,” she said. “Up at the falls, I mean.”
He rolled onto his back. “Don’t worry about it. It’s no big deal.”
“It’s just, I thought you wouldn’t be interested.”
Mitch remained silent, but his sigh filled the void.
“What if I don’t live up to your expectations?” she murmured. “Or…or you don’t enjoy kissing me. Or touching me. I don’t want things to be awkward and weird between us.”
He turned to face her, resting his arm in the space between their pillows. “Things have been awkward and weird between us since that day in Simon’s office. But, full disclosure, I’m definitely interested, and I suspect you feel the same way.”
Every muscle in her body tightened under his gaze. “That may be true, but?—”
“Tayla, stop. Let’s forget I mentioned it, okay? You’re overthinking it.”
She placed her hand next to his, the outline of his torso highlighted by the moonlight flooding through the net curtains. He kept his gaze steady as he reached for her hand.
“I don’t want to forget you mentioned it,” she whispered. “But…I want to slow it down.”
Mitch lifted his other hand, brushing it across her cheekbone before tracing her cupid’s bow with his index finger. She closed her eyes and sucked in a breath.
“Okay.” He pulled her toward him and touched his lips against hers. As she opened her eyes, his smile engulfed her.
He leaned in again, his hand cradling the back of her head, guiding her as he kissed her once, twice. And as the third kiss built, Mitch moaned softly into her mouth. When he pulled back, the only thing between them was Tayla’s insecurities.
“But if you really want to slow it down”—he traced his fingers back and forth across the neckline of her slip, almost touching her breasts—“you shouldn’t kiss me like that…or come to bed in this tiny slip. It’s been on my mind all afternoon.”
On his mind? “I hate sleeping in pajamas.”
Mitch tapped her playfully on the nose. “Yeah, me too. I’m gonna go now. Before the brakes fail.” The covers came off with a flourish. He grabbed a pillow and stuffed it in front of himself as he walked out the door. “Goodnight.”
Tayla sank back into the bed with a grin as she imagined what that pillow covered. She recalled their kiss. Warm and gentle and breathtaking. Mitch kissed as he lived. Dripping with confidence and in total control.
Tayla woke to the sound of the shower running and the sheets warm on the opposite side of the bed. She’d stirred when Mitch had crept into the room in the early hours. But as she’d drifted back to sleep, the warmth of his body comforted her; his presence now etched in her memory. The type of memory that offered a small smile.
Mitch returned from the en suite fully dressed—his hair wet and combed away from his forehead—and picked up his belt from the chair. As he threaded it through the loops of his jeans, he asked, “How did you sleep?” His hands worked the buckle, but his lazy, take-me-now eyes focused on her.
Tucking the top sheet under her chin, she broke eye contact, hyperaware of her breasts tightening as the cotton brushed against her skin. “Great, thanks.”
“Sorry I invaded the bed, but Edward was snoring.”
“No problem. Actually, I enjoyed the warmth.”
Mitch smiled as he opened the curtains. Outside, mist shrouded the hills surrounding the orchard. He turned, searched for eye contact. “I won’t be home tonight, and CeCe’s leaving after breakfast, so you’ll have the place to yourself. ”
“Of course. Poker night.”
“Yeah. And I’m coaching a high school rugby team now the season’s started.” He headed for the door, then turned back. “I’m making scrambled eggs. Want some?”
Tayla wondered how he could be so casual about breakfast after last night. Once he’d left, she’d stayed awake thinking of him. Fantasizing. And when she stirred around dawn, she’d wanted to reach out and kiss him again. Feel his hands on her face, his arms around her. Make sure he got the message. “Thanks. I’ll just jump in the shower first.”
CeCe poked her head around the bedroom door. “Morning, you two. Did I hear scrambled eggs mentioned? Any bacon?”
Mitch smiled at his sister. “You know processed meats are bad for you?”
“Surely bacon doesn’t count, does it?”
He looked at Tayla. “Bacon?”
“Just one rasher, thanks.”
“Scrambled eggs and bacon times two.” Mitch shook his head and chuckled as he left the room.
“And sourdough toast,” CeCe yelled down the hallway after him.
“How was your night?” Tayla asked as CeCe sat on the bed.
She dropped her shoulders and let out a heavy sigh. “Why does life have to be so complicated?”
“I ask myself that very same question almost daily.” Tayla hesitated. She didn’t want to pry, but if CeCe needed someone to talk to, she’d be happy to oblige. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Nah. I just want to crawl under a rock and hide, but I’ll have breakfast first. No point in rock crawling on an empty tummy.” She jumped off the bed. “See you in a bit.”