32. Anticipation
32
ANTICIPATION
Driving home, Mitch tried to imagine a life sheltered from the usual teenage heartache and breakups. No necking in the back seat of a car, no fumbling with blouse buttons and jean zippers as sexual desire overtook all sense of reason. He’d had that, not as frequently as his friends thought, but his experiences had been rich and varied.
So how could he make the experience rich and varied for Tayla?
By the time they hit the highway, he’d devised a plan, the songs streaming from his phone in coincidental sync with his state of mind. The sun had set hours before, leaving the air frigid with the threat of a frost. When he drove past the orchard gate, Tayla shot him a sideways glance, then closed her eyes, her fingers tapping against one another in time to the music. She seemed to sense where they were going, as if their thoughts were somehow transcribed on the same page. That erotic narrative of a lovers’ dream.
Petrie Bay was deserted when Mitch pulled in beside the thicket of pines, close to the spot where they’d recited their vows. He cut the engine. She stared straight ahead, as did he until she spoke.
“Why are we here?” she whispered.
“You know why.” He tipped her chin with his finger and claimed her with a fragile kiss. She pulled back, understandably nervous. Shit, he was nervous for her—for himself. But he wanted her to experience the anticipation of wanting something so badly, she could hardly think straight.
She looked down, her hands fiddling with a button on her jacket. “I don’t want my first time to be in the back seat of your truck. That would be so wrong at my age.”
Mitch chuckled. “Duly noted. But a little necking while parked at a deserted beach on a winter’s night is a rite of passage all of us should experience, even if it’s only once.”
He jumped out and rounded the truck to open the door for her. Tayla took his offered hand, and as he helped her down, she pressed against him. When he opened the back door, she climbed inside without hesitation.
She turned, her hand reaching for his. And as he cradled her face in his other hand and kissed her, he willed himself to slow it down. To build that anticipation over days until she thought of nothing but him. What he’d do to her. How she’d respond.
They kissed again, cautiously at first, and then with fevered intensity as he cupped her breasts and squeezed with gentle pressure, making her nipples peak beneath the cashmere of her sweater.
“You’re a beautiful kisser,” Mitch whispered, his voice husky in the dark.
“Am I?”
He nuzzled her neck, gently sucking the delicate skin. “You kiss like you’ve kissed many men and picked the best technique.”
Tilting her head to one side, inviting him to continue, she murmured, “And you kiss like you know what you want and are determined to get it.”
Mitch pulled back. “Determination is a prerequisite to success in my book. I want us to be a success, even if you only rate my kissing technique as satisfactory.”
“I didn’t mean it that way.” She giggled.
“No?” Weaving his hand through her hair, he inhaled the smell of lightly spritzed perfume and fruity shampoo. “I love that sound. You don’t often laugh. Why is that?”
“Is that how you see me? As solemn?”
“Sometimes. I know you’ve had heaps going on, but…well, there’s a lot to be said for living in the moment.” He traced his index finger down her nose, over her cupid’s bow, and stopped at her lips, swollen under his touch.
“I didn’t think you’d want to…” Tayla said.
“What? Have sex with you?”
She nodded.
“Seriously? Why wouldn’t I? I blame that practice kiss. I felt drawn to you before that if I’m honest, but until I’ve kissed someone, I never know if the chemistry is really there or just an illusion. Those flutters in your belly, everything tightening with an anticipation you can’t ignore.”
Tayla shot him a sly grin. “So that happens to guys as well?”
“Sure. But maybe we’re cockier about it. Well, I was back in the day. I like to think I have more self-control of late.”
She glanced down at the bulge in his jeans, before flicking her lashes his way.
Mitch threw back his head and laughed. They kissed again, her hands in his hair gently tugging against his scalp. Slow, sensual kisses that built in intensity until he had to pull the pin. It had been months since he’d slept with anyone. When they made their deal, he’d told himself he could handle celibacy, but now he questioned where that fanciful notion had come from.
Pulling back, Mitch broke the kiss, his expression a mixture of amusement and affliction. He reached over her and opened the door. “Let’s go get our feet wet before we head back.”
With their shoes left strewn across the cab floor, they walked along the shore in silence. Reassuring her with his touch, Mitch pulled Tayla toward the water, his headlamp lighting the way. As they reached the swash, she stopped and hitched up her dress to above her knees. “It’s freezing.”
His back to the water, he stood and cocked his head. “You look puzzled. What are you thinking about?”
Shivering, Tayla stepped back until her feet were firmly planted on dry sand. “You. And anticipation.”
In contrast to their drive to Petrie Bay, they talked freely on the way home. After the intensity of their make-out session, the distraction gave Tayla time to relax. To breathe. Mitch didn’t seem breathless. Not one bit. She struggled to understand how he could be so casual when her insides were screaming to speed things up.
Once he’d parked in the garage, Mitch reached over and rubbed the back of her neck, the sexual tension at his touch instant. “We should say goodnight here,” he said. “If we don’t, there’s no way I’ll be able to hold back.”
She leaned across the seat and kissed him. “Goodnight.”
He pulled her closer, his hand stroking her hair. “Sleep well. You know where I am if you need me.”
They climbed the stairs without words or connection. But when they stepped inside, he pressed her against the wall and kissed her breathless, his knee forceful between her legs.
“I thought you said?—”
Mitch held up his hands and stepped away. “Life’s heaps more fun when you buck your own rules. And I want you to remember one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“Attraction is mysterious. It doesn’t always make sense, so relax, nothing’s under control.” Mitch inclined his head toward his office. “I have to check my emails. I’ll see you in the morning. ”
She watched him walk across the living room, her lips tingling with want and her thighs clenched. “Okay. Goodnight,” she said. But he’d already shut the office door.
Back in her room, Tayla sat on the bed with her head in her hands. Should she shower, eat chocolate, or jump online to order a vibrator? A discreet cylinder, one that hung from a neck chain.
Anticipation.
She’d wanted to take things slowly. But since they’d kissed with much more passion than their practice or the chaste ‘kiss the bride’ attempt—the pace felt more like torture.
On hearing the shower running in his en suite, Tayla’s imagination shifted to a naked Mitch—one hand braced against the wall as he calmed his frustration with an eager fist, steaming hot water, and a series of murmured f-bombs.
In bed, she read for a while but found herself unable to concentrate as she willed Mitch to open her door. But as she snuggled under the covers, anticipation in her every thought, her sense of inadequacy deepened. Romance novels and movies aside, Tayla knew little about sex. Apart from a couple of times when Hayden had slipped his hand between her jean-clad thighs, no one had ever touched her in that way. What if she didn’t please him? Would he show his disinterest or persevere?
And what if Mitch didn’t please her?
For the next few days, Mitch crept into her bed in the early hours of the morning, but even though the lessons kept coming, there was never any suggestion of full-on sex. That feeling of him, half-naked and warm at her back as he cuddled her awake, was the best part of her day. And every morning, when he held her in his arms, she ached for him to slip inside of her, longed to feel his hands cup her breasts, his lips soft on her nape.
But on the fourth morning, his invitation to shower with him added another dimension to their increased intimacy. In some ways, Tayla wished she had the courage to invite him into the shower, rather than the other way around. But until they took that final step in the dance, she wanted him to lead.
They stood under steam-covered light, his biceps and the swell of well-defined pecs glistening with bodywash. Tayla had never showered with Hayden. Too tempting, he’d said. Now, with Mitch’s hungry eyes watching her and his growing erection in her peripheral vision, she turned in hesitation, resting her arms above her head as he ran a soapy sea sponge along the length of her spine.
“Does that feel good?”
She leaned her forehead on the wall, closing her eyes as he crouched behind her and washed her butt and legs. “So good,” she whispered.
“I’m glad. Some women are so self-conscious about their bodies. They can’t relax when they’re naked.”
Despite being teased about her flat chest in high school, Tayla had never felt self-conscious about her body. It was what it was. A body that stayed fit and lithe. She looked over her shoulder at him and flashed a half-smile. “You think I’m relaxed?”
“Probably as much as I am. So that would be a no.”
“If I wasn’t a virgin, would you hold back?”
Mitch dropped the sponge and slipped his hand around her waist. His lips found her ear. “I thought that’s what you wanted, to take it slow.”
“It is, but?—”
One hand slid between her legs, firm on her inner thigh. Tayla closed her eyes, held her breath as his body brushed against her.
“You want more?”
“Yes.” She rested her head against him, the word a whisper to herself.
He gently slipped a finger inside. “How much more? ”
“Oh…there. Just there!” She moved against him in a rhythm formed by instinct.
“You want me to make you come?” he asked, his breath hot on her ear, his erection hotter against her butt.
“I—”
A loud banging on the entry door made them both freeze. “What was that?” she whispered.
Mitch listened for a moment.
“Boss? Are you there?” Ned’s voice boomed from the living room. “There’s a problem with the conveyer belt. You’d better come take a look.”
“What the hell?” Mitch removed his hand slowly. “Does the guy have no boundaries?”
“Didn’t you lock the door?”
“No. I never do.” He slapped her playfully on the butt, cut the water, then reached for a towel and wrapped it around his waist. “I have to go. Raincheck?”
“What? No!”
With Mitch gone, Tayla rested her head on the tile wall, lightly banging against it several times as she cursed under her breath. Maybe Mitch had planned it all along—told Ned to interrupt so his lessons of love held drama, want, and intrigue. Men!
“Just shoot me now,” she murmured under her breath as she turned the water back on. She hadn’t even rinsed the conditioner out of her hair.
Ruby: How’s work going?
Tayla: Good. Busy. Just grabbing a coffee.
Ruby: Have you done the deed with that hunk of a husband yet?
Tayla: Currently experiencing frustration overload .
Ruby: What’s wrong with the guy? You need to catch that train.
Tayla: We’re standing on the platform. At my insistence.
Ruby: I feel guilty now.
Tayla: Why?
Ruby: Noah and I…we’ve done it 3 x in the past 24 hours. Blush. Blush.
Tayla: TMI! Take your finger off the keypad. Now!!!
Ruby: Just saying!
Coffee break over, Tayla slipped her phone into the pocket of her uniform and chuckled. Some days she had no idea what she’d do without Ruby. And after that shower, and those hands, and that last kiss on her nape, Tayla had definitely needed a good dose of Ruby’s humor.
“What are you grinning about?” one of the nurses asked as he strolled into the clinic.
“Nothing much. Just an amusing text from my sister about husbands.”
“Speaking of, how’s Mitch?”
It seemed every other person she worked with knew she was married to Mitch, even though she’d never discussed him at work and hadn’t taken his name. “He’s well. Busy as usual.”
“I nursed him after he tore his ACL. He’s a nice guy.”
Fighting to keep her face straight, Tayla tried to rid her mind of the shower scene and just how nice Mitch could really be. “Yeah, I think so too.”