Limitless Love: A Polyamorous Charity Anthology

9. Lochlan

“Do you miss it?” Dex asks as we’re on the train to visit Avery.

“Miss what?”

“Dating or hooking up with other men?”

I don’t have to think about my answer. “No. Do you?”

He smiles and shakes his head. “Between you and Avery, I have everything I need.”

It’s been two months since the Eventide Fan Convention. Avery has visited us a handful of times. In addition to getting to know each other better and more intimately, it allowed us to introduce him to our family and friends. This is our first chance to visit him, thanks to my shift patterns. We don’t get to see, touch, hold, or make him come between us nearly enough. Yet despite how far apart we live, Avery is very much a part of our relationship. A beautiful, vibrant part who I’m falling in love with.

We get a taxi from the tube station to Avery’s flat, which is in a red brick building above a takeaway on the high street. The aromatic smell from the takeaway follows us up the stairs to his flat as if it’s seeped into the walls. He greets us at the door.

“Hi, sweetheart.” I put my arms around him and gently push him inside the flat, kissing him all the way.

Dex shuts the door and joins us. We take turns kissing Avery and each other. For several minutes, nothing exists but the three of us.

“Missed you,” Dex says.

Avery laughs. “You talked to me yesterday. We had video sex last night.”

“It’s not the same.”

He rests his head against Dex’s chest and strokes mine. “No, it’s not. I’ve missed you too.”

I glance around his room, frowning at how plain and un-Avery-like it is. It’s basically a white box with a minuscule kitchen at one end and two interior doors. A worn sofa with blankets thrown over it takes up most of the space. Do they cover holes in the upholstery? A sash window looks out over the busy high street.

“I warned you it wasn’t much.” Avery blushes.

Why does he still live here? We haven’t asked how much he earns from streaming, but he hinted it was enough to move to a better place. My heart aches. He also said that moving somewhere nicer wouldn’t change anything. Although he didn’t elaborate, I knew enough about him to understand what he meant. It wouldn’t make his parents accept him. It wouldn’t take his loneliness away.

I scoop him into my arms and kiss his hair. “Are you still lonely?”

“No. I have you and Dex. How could I be? We’re all geeks together.”

“That should be our motto,” Dex says.

“We need a motto?” I ask.

“Need is a strong word.”

Avery slips away from me and grabs our hands. “It’s a great motto. My gaming room is this way. It’s also my bedroom. Have I mentioned how much I missed you?” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

His gaming room is a true pastel paradise. Two facing walls are lilac, while the other two are painted candy floss pink. The entire ceiling is covered in fluffy clouds, with lights chasing underneath them in lighting patterns. His gaming setup takes up one whole wall. Three monitors sit between a tower case that’s lit up like a Christmas tree and two different game consoles. One bookshelf is chock-full of books, the other with games. His gaming chair looks a thousand times more comfortable than mine. He also has a mini fridge. A pastel quilt and squishy cushions with game characters cover the bed. The blinds and curtains, which match the walls, are closed.

“This room seems smaller than it should be,” Dex says.

“And quieter,” I say.

Avery grins and knocks on one of the walls. A wooden sound rings out. “I put soundproofing in, covered it in thin plywood, and painted it to make the room pretty.”

“You did all this yourself?” Dex asks.

“Yes.” Avery clasps his hands behind his back and swings from side to side.

“It’s amazing.”

“Not too pastel?”

“God, no. It’s perfectly you.”

I smile as Dex embraces Avery and kisses him. Avery puts a hand on Dex’s chest and flutters his fingers over Dex’s jaw.

“Want to join in?” Dex asks me.

I scratch my jaw, turn the gaming chair around, and lounge in it. “Nope, I’m happy watching.”

Avery blushes and scuffs his foot on the carpet.

“Something wrong, sweetheart?”

“No, it’s just—I guess I’m still getting used to this whole poly thing.”

“Are you getting used to it?” Dex asks.

I hold my breath while awaiting Avery’s answer. It would break my heart if he decided this style of relationship wasn’t for him and walked away from us.

“Yes.”

I release my breath and smile. How can one word make me feel so much lighter and happier?

Avery sits on the bed. “Some things are harder to wrap my head around than others, though.”

“Like?” Dex sits beside him and rests his hand on Avery’s thigh.

“Like, I thought I’d be jealous, knowing you and Lock are probably fucking like rabbits without me. You do have sex without me, don’t you?” His blush intensifies.

I nod.

“Are you jealous?” Dex asks.

Avery exhales slowly. “No.”

“You don’t sound sure.”

Avery bites his lower lip. “I imagine the two of you together when I’m in bed. I wouldn’t be able to do that if we were all together all the time.”

“And get off?” I arch an eyebrow.

He nods and clears his throat. “So, uh, yeah, I’ve turned you into handjob fodder. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise. It’s hot. And now we know, we’ll be able to imagine you, imagining us while you stroke your cock.”

Avery rubs his temple. “That’s so meta you made my head hurt.”

“I was going for sexy.”

Dex kisses his throat. “Our dirty talk always involves what we’d be doing with you if you were with us.”

“Really?”

Dex nods, turns Avery’s face to him, and kisses him. “We might not be together all the time, beautiful, but you’re always in our thoughts.”

Avery grins. “I can’t stop thinking about you either. I might have had the ideal guy for me in my head, but I thought he was a fantasy. I didn’t think I’d meet one man as amazing as you, let alone two of you. Or that I’d find anyone who accepts me like you do or who makes me feel so wonderfully alive. You have got to stop me when I go on like that.” He presses his face against Dex’s shoulder.

“It’ll never happen. You’re far too sweet,” I say.

“Even if we lived closer or together, it wouldn’t always be all three of us all the time,” Dex says.

Avery purses his lips. “True. I have had to let go of one of my relationship goals.” He rubs the heel of his hand over his knee.

“Getting married?” I ask.

He nods. “I was afraid I’d resent the two of you.”

“Why?”

“You’re married, and if I build a life and a future with you, I’ll never be able to have that. You’ll have a bond I can never share.”

“You mean a legal document? That’s all marriage is,” Dex says.

“No, it’s not.”

“You’re right. Sorry.”

I twist my hands together. Avery didn’t say he does resent us but that he was afraid he might. Does that mean he doesn’t, or that he’s still figuring out how he feels about it?

“You got to declare your love in front of everyone. Your friends. Your family. Even if I could get married someday, I don’t think my family would come.” He looks away as hurt clouds his eyes.

“Would you want them there?” I ask.

He shrugs. “I shouldn’t.”

I move to the bed. Dex and I hug Avery and shower him with kisses.

He sniffs. “I don’t need them. I have something better.”

“Oh?” Dex asks.

“You. The best family is the one you choose and who chooses you.”

I stroke his hair. “I agree. There are other ways to publicly declare love, sweetheart.”

“I know. Ignore me. I’m getting melancholy about something that was never going to happen anyway. I don’t need to get married. I need you.” He puts a hand on each of our thighs and kisses us in turn. “I’ve let go of that dream, and I’m only a tiny bit jealous you’re married.”

“We got married before we met you.”

Dex snorts. “We got married before we were legally allowed to give you a second glance.”

Avery laughs.

“And it wasn’t the grand affair you seem to think it was,” I say.

“It wasn’t?”

“No. We got married in a registry office and went to the local pub for a piss-up afterwards.”

“Was it a good day?”

Dex’s eyes are sparkling with happy tears. “Yes.”

Avery’s lips quiver. “I’m glad.”

I gather Avery’s hands up in mine. “We love you as much as each other, sweetheart. What can we do to show you you’re an equal in our relationship?”

“I don’t know. Wait. What? You—?” Avery widens his eyes.

“Love you,” Dex says in a soft tone.

“I sort of blurted that out, didn’t I?” I ask.

Dex nods. “It wasn’t very romantic. Try harder next time, sexy.”

I roll my eyes at Dex and squeeze Avery’s hand. “There’s no pressure to say it back. Wait until you feel the same way.”

“I love you. So, so much,” Avery whispers.

I cup his face. “You say the sexiest things.”

“Saying I love you is sexy?”

“Yes. Very.”

“And sweet and exactly what we hoped to hear,” Dex says.

Avery stares into my eyes and then turns to Dex. “I mean it. I love you. I don’t want to imagine not being with you.”

“Then don’t. We’re yours,” Dex says.

“What about a commitment ceremony?” I say.

“A what—?” Avery asks.

“A commitment ceremony. The three of us showing our love for each other in front of everyone who matters to us.”

Dex kisses me. “That’s a wonderful idea, sexy. What do you think, Avery?”

Avery blinks slowly. “You’d do that? For me?”

“For us.”

Avery releases a giddy giggle. “Yes!”

We flop onto the bed as we kiss and hold each other. From the desperate intensity of Avery’s lips and touch, I’m certain we’re done talking and moving on to the next phase of our reunion.

My stomach rumbles. We burst out laughing.

“It’s dinner time. I’ll cook,” Avery says.

“No need, sweetheart. Is that takeaway downstairs any good?” I ask.

“It’s decent.”

“I’ll go fetch us something to eat.” I prise myself away from my gorgeous men and go to the door, where I pause and look back at them. “You don’t need to stop on my account.” I wink and leave them to it.

I put the front door on the latch to return to the flat without bothering them and jog downstairs. I have to go outside the building to get into the takeaway. I take my time reading the menu and deciding what to order. Hopefully, Dex is showing Avery just how special he is and that there’s no need for jealousy between us.

I do my best not to imagine the two of them together while I wait for our food. It would be embarrassing to get a hard-on in public. Instead, I play a silly bubble-popping game on my phone and browse my social media apps. I check out the comments and views on Avery’s latest video. He published it two hours ago, and it already has over thirteen thousand views, over four hundred likes, and seventy-eight comments. Dex and I watched the video while travelling, so I know how wonderfully engaging Avery was. I’m so damn proud of Avery for everything he’s accomplished.

Bag of food in hand, I let myself into the flat, smiling as panting and groaning come from the gaming room. I deposit the food on the kitchen counter, put plates, cutlery, and cups of water on the tiny table, and softly open the door to the gaming room.

Dex is fucking Avery against the computer desk. Avery’s jeans and pretty powder blue panties are pulled down around his slender thighs. He’s leaning over the desk, his hands flat on its surface, his body rocking back and forth every time Dex thrusts into him. Damn, they’re sexy.

Avery tilts his head back. His lips are parted, and he lets out a sweet, soft sound I’ve come to understand means he’s about to come. I slip into the main living area, grab some kitchen towels, and return to the gaming room. I put the kitchen towel on his desk just in time to catch most of his cum as he orgasms. Dex follows him over the edge, thrusting hard into him with a heady groan.

I stroke Avery’s sweat-soaked hair away from his forehead. “Was that fun, sweetheart?”

He licks his lips. “Yes. How—how long were you there for?”

I kiss his cheek and then Dex’s lips. “Long enough. Dinner?”

Avery laughs. “You’re really not jealous at all, are you?”

“Not one bit. Plus, I got to watch the best bit.”

“Which was—?” Dex asks.

“The two of you coming.”

* * *

FOUR MONTHS LATER

Dexand I lounge in bed, watching Avery streaming on my laptop. He’s in his element as he plays the game and chats with his fans. The lights on his ceiling give him an ethereal quality as they fade from one colour to the next. We kiss occasionally, but our concentration remains on our beautiful pastel gamer.

As his party defeats the final boss of the raid they’re doing, he punches the air and lets out a whoop. “We did it! How many goes did it take us?”

He must be answering a question from someone watching the livestream.

“A while. I like to call every run before this one a practice run. We were learning the mechanics and getting used to working together as a party. I loved every second.”

On the screen, the avatars are doing high-five and victory emotes. The victory emotes are different for every class. As an archer, Avery’s catboy twirls his bow around before posing with it. You couldn’t do that with a real bow.

“Let me say goodbye to my amazing party, and then we can chat,” Avery says to his audience.

He leaves the raid and teleports to his in-game house, which we helped him decorate. He did a grand unveiling video a few weeks ago. Dozens of avatars are waiting for him in the garden. They stand and do various emotes to welcome him. His in-game house is his public hangout, where he invites gamers to chill and chat. Our in-game house is his private hangout. Where our three avatars doze on the bed while we video call.

It’s amazing how content we are to hold each other while we watch Avery chat and answer questions.

Avery stretches. “Before I sign off for the night, I’ve got an announcement to make. I’m taking two weeks off.”

The chat message window on his stream goes crazy as his fans tell him they’ll miss him.

“I know. I’ll miss you guys too. I promise I’ll be back before you know it.”

Hundreds of messages asking why appear.

He grins. “I’m moving house and then taking a much-needed holiday. I haven’t taken a day off since I started streaming.” He glances down and laughs. “Oh, you’re right. I had to take a few days off when I had that awful cold. It’s so sweet of you to remember.” His eyes flick from side to side, suggesting he’s reading more comments. “Thank you. I’m sure I will have a great time, and I know the move will go well. I can’t wait to start this next phase of my life.” He stares straight into the camera.

Even though there are two hundred miles between us, he’s looking at us.

“Don’t worry. Nothing’s going to change with my channel. I’ll still be producing the same content you know and love. Plus, I’ve pre-recorded some content. You’ll get a new video to enjoy every day until I can live-stream again.”

His fans tell him how much they love him.

He blows kisses at the camera. “I love you too. See you soon.”

“Amazing, isn’t it?” Dex asks.

“Yes.” After six months of dating him while living hundreds of miles apart, our pastel gamer is coming home.