Limitless Love: A Polyamorous Charity Anthology

7. Sage

Did Sage feel like a sulking teenager? Yes, and Weston had called him on it more than once this week. But he wasn’t a windup toy. If Weston wasn’t Sage’s boyfriend, Sage didn’t always have to be Weston’s fuck toy.

His saving grace was the summer days that meant plenty of time for long evening runs, perfect for brooding in privacy. Even their friends at work had clocked Sage’s poor attitude, despite his attempts to hide away behind the monitors at his station. Unfortunately, though he had little desire for company, no good reason existed to refuse his coworker’s invitation for a few laps around a nearby lake. Sage agreed because Alex was a decent running buddy who wouldn’t mind Sage’s silence for the majority of their circuit.

After swinging by the house to change, ignoring the empty portion of the driveway where Val plugged in his car, Sage arrived at the park entrance. Alex waited at the top of the path, and Sage up-nodded his fellow sergeant in greeting even as he made a show of inserting his headphones.

Alex rolled his eyes but jogged off at a decent warm-up pace. He turned in the opposite direction from their usual when the trail connected with the route circling the lake, but maybe he wanted a change of scenery. Sage thought nothing of it until he followed Alex on another unexpected turn to a picnic area.

Alex halted at a table where a collection of containers waited, along with a bottle of sparkling cider. Sage pulled his earbuds out and stared at the array. As far as he knew, Alex’s interests lay solidly elsewhere and provided him plenty of his own relationship drama. He narrowed his eyes. “The fuck?”

“Relax, it’s not a date with me.” Alex squinted in the distance, then raised an arm to wave to an approaching figure.

Sage hated Val’s cautious approach and his uncertain glances between Alex and Sage, even if he didn’t hate the tiny running shorts that showed way too much of Val’s deliciously long legs. Once Val neared them, Sage turned on Alex. “Explain. Now.”

Alex did nothing of the sort, sharing a broad grin as he stepped away. “Enjoy your date. And get your shit together.” He paused. “That last bit was from Weston, not me.” He spun on his heel and jogged toward the lake without bothering to wait for a response.

Val dragged his hand down his face and leaned heavily against the picnic table. “Weston asked me to meet him here for a run.”

Despite his sour mood, Sage barked out a laugh. “When in the history of ever has Weston willingly offered to run?”

“I figured maybe he’d changed his habits since I was out west,” Val said, shrugging.

Hardly. Weston scored top marks in the push-up and sit-up portions of the Air Force’s annual fitness test and scraped through his run time by the skin of his teeth. Sage shook his head and leaned against the table next to Val. Even in the warmth of the summer air, he soaked up the heat of having Val so near. “Alex invited me out, which is pretty normal. But I recognize all these containers since I bought them. I think we can assume Weston arranged this little rendezvous.”

A smirk teasing his lips, Val turned his face to Sage. “Apparently, we’re supposed to get our shit together.”

Sage would never get his shit together with Val’s mouth so close. He dropped onto one of the benches to put space between them, then grabbed a food container to remove the lid. Fresh-cut vegetables and hummus. Settling across from him, Val opened strawberries nestled around a cup of vanilla yogurt to dip them in. Sage spotted his favorite candy in the final, tiniest container. Weston may not consider himself boyfriend material, but he’d hit this one out of the park.

Val dragged a baby carrot through the hummus and popped it in his mouth. “So, how do we feel about such blatant manipulation?”

“Depends whether he got the right hummus.” Sage chose a slice of green pepper, and the fresh flavors of the homemade dip from the shop by base burst across his tongue. “That asshole.”

Val’s eyelids closed in pleasure as he chewed one of the strawberries. “Right? What a total dick.”

They exchanged grins when his eyes opened again, and it was as if time rewound a week. Maybe even years, to before Val’s transfer. For a moment, they were back to two best friends ragging affectionately on the third. Val broke their gaze first, and Sage braced himself for the other man to close himself off again.

Instead, Val tipped his face to the sky, breathed out a noisy huff, and then targeted Sage with his warm honey eyes once more. “I won’t apologize for feeling hurt, but I am sorry I ran. And that I refused to talk to you.”

Sage swallowed his bite of food, then swallowed again, throat suddenly dry. “I’m sorry we hid anything from you. I thought it was for the best. Weston and I aren’t dating.”

“I know. He came by at lunch yesterday and told me about the aromantic thing. As if that meant he couldn’t make you happy.” Val raised a hand before Sage refuted the claim. “I may have replied with something that let him think I could be the one to make you happy.”

Weston’s mind often worked along strange paths, but how had that conversation turned into this attempt at a romantic setup? Choosing his words carefully, Sage said, “I know Weston will never love me the way I could easily love him. But I’m not sure how that leads to you being some sort of substitute. I didn’t think you were into dick?”

He may have gone for crass with intention. After all, Val had presented as heterosexual as long as they’d been friends. To Sage’s surprise, Val snorted. Even more shocking, he reached across the table and snagged Sage’s hand.

“Did some soul-searching in California. I’m definitely into guys. I’m just not into everything involving dick.” He let out a bemused chuckle. “I know I could love you the way you could love me. But I don’t think I could make you happy either.”

Sage was torn between wanting to rip his hand away in astonishment and never letting go. He needed this conversation to stop going in circles, so he settled for gripping tight as he asked, “What the fuck does that mean? I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who gets to decide what makes me happy. Loving you has always made me happy, no matter what form the love takes.”

Val returned the firm clasp, but his face darkened as he stared past Sage across the lake. “From what I saw, I’m not sure that’s true.”

“Hey, look at me.” Sage waited for Val’s full attention. “I am genuinely sorry you walked in on us like that. We didn’t expect you, but we should have respected that our home is now your space, too. You didn’t consent to seeing us that way, no matter how much or little interest in guys you may have.”

“May have been for the best, though.” Val’s hand twitched beneath his.

Save him from obtusity. Val couldn’t dangle what Sage wanted so badly in front of him and then not explain why he yanked it away. “You’re gonna have to spell it out for me,” Sage said. “I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that just because a guy is into other guys doesn’t make him any less of an idiot.”

Val’s lips twitched at that, but his gaze dipped again. “I like dick,” he said, mostly muttering to his lap. “I don’t enjoy anal sex. You and Weston looked like you were having a hell of a time, and I can’t give you that.”

Sage rubbed reassuring circles to the back of Val’s hand with his thumb, trying to banish the tension in his grip. Whatever soul-searching Val had performed, gaps remained in his education for Sage to fill. “And you think anal sex is what I need.”

Val lifted one shoulder as if saying ‘duh.’

Putting a pin in how his heart wanted to pound out of his chest and donning the ‘veteran queer’ hat for a moment, Sage tried for a gentle instead of derisive tone. “Why do you assume a relationship needs anal sex?” He applauded himself for keeping the query impersonal.

“I don’t know,” Val said, sarcasm leaking into his voice. “Pretty much all the porn I watched? How every profile on every hookup app lists top or bottom or vers? Every guy I disappointed?”

A brief fury lanced through Sage, for any asshole who caused Val to feel less than and for every asshole who dared touch one of the men Sage could happily claim for himself. “Okay, all of that is bullshit,” he said with a scoff. “And someday soon we’re gonna deconstruct hookup culture and unrealistic porn expectations for you. But let me happily reassure you that I don’t need anal sex. I just need both of you.”

Val froze. Once Sage’s brain caught up to his words, he froze, too.

“Did you mean to say that bit out loud?” Val asked.

The answer depended on whether Sage imagined the spark of happiness that blossomed in Val’s expression. Val held out his other hand to Sage, confirming it as real. “I don’t think I did,” Sage said, accepting the second handhold. He basked in the rightness of Val’s skin under his fingertips. So much better than a quick slap on the back, or even one of the firm hugs Sage had always worried Val endured rather than enjoyed. “But I’ve never been used to hiding anything from you. That’s why the past few weeks have been so hard for me, even though I was thrilled to have you here with us. And I meant what I said about not needing all types of sex to be happy. And I’d be so happy with you. It’s just… I don’t think I’d be happy without Weston, too.”

Did any of his rambling even make sense? Or did Sage sound like a greedy bastard, to want so much from the two people who already loved him, each in their own way, more than he deserved?

It must have, because Val said, “Right.” He let go of Sage and eased his long legs from under the picnic table to stand.

Sage stared unmoving as Val snapped the lids closed on the veggies and fruit. His hands tingled with chill after losing Val’s touch. Had that been Sage’s only chance to hold them? Had Val come out to Sage in the hope Sage agreed to be his alone?

If asked to choose between Val and Weston in the abstract, Sage might have managed a list of pros and cons for each man and made a rational decision about relationship possibilities. In the moment, however, in the messiness of real life, no choice existed.

He was a greedy bastard. And he’d probably ruined his chance at the happiness Weston and Val claimed to want for him.

When Sage didn’t move, Val paused. “Or we could stay here, I guess? But I figured if Weston troubled himself to arrange this nice date, wouldn’t it be better if he got to enjoy it with us?”

His question jolted Sage back to the here and now. Where his dear Val proved to Sage once again how big his heart was. And proved that even if Val had some catching up to do about being queer, he’d always been the smartest of the three of them. Sage climbed out of his seat on limbs clumsy with anticipation and grabbed the cloth grocery bag at the end of the table. He held it open for Val to load the treats.

Once they filled the bag, Val offered yet another surprise. He crowded Sage against the table and curled his hand around the nape of Sage’s neck. Sage held his breath, but he didn’t shy away from the gentle kiss Val pressed to his lips.

Sage’s stomach swooped. Not from guilt this time, but from sheer joy. Never in a million years could he have imagined this sort of affection from Val. If they didn’t stand in open view of the pathway where families passed by, Sage would not have hesitated to bury his fingers in Val’s thick blond locks and press the kiss deeper. For a first kiss he never dared hope to receive from the man, it was perfect. It was everything.

But he needed more from their second kiss. He needed Weston near to enjoy it along with them.

Greedy bastard or not, he’d happily take anything and everything with both of the men he’d loved, in every way possible, for too many years to count.