Little Baby Boy (Little Big Heart #4)

Chapter 1

Sage

It wasn't that Daddy Ronnie was seeing other boys.

I mean, it was that but not only that. When we went out on dates or had sleepovers we simply had not much to say to each other.

He was a daddy and I was a little but that by itself wasn't enough.

There was no chemistry. At first I was confused.

I thought maybe it was because I didn't know him yet.

I would ask him for what I thought were typical little demands and he would suggest other things and I never got to have what I wanted like caring bath times.

Or chicken nuggets which he said were bad for me. Or sparkle crayons to color with.

Instead, he wanted to move on to sex pretty quickly, which was okay, But afterward it was like I wasn't even there. I liked to cuddle. Even if just a little bit, I might have been satisfied. But he didn't really like that. He wanted to be left alone to go to sleep.

We'd been out only three times before I stopped taking his calls. They were few and far between anyway. I knew he saw other boys and though we never promised exclusivity to each other it still made me feel somehow less. Inadequate.

I'd had two other daddies before Ronnie and they had all been like that.

Was I a terrible match? Maybe I was too needy.

Sometimes I wanted to be a baby and have all my needs taken care of.

Maybe that was wrong. Maybe I was being too self-centered, the one taking all that attention.

Did that make me a narcissist? I didn't think so.

I cared about what others felt and thought and wanted.

Maybe there was some sort of self-absorbed mentality to being a little.

After Ronnie, I did a lot of introspection.

I changed my major in college to psych. I wanted to understand myself better.

But no matter what I read or learned about human nature and how we think and react and deal with different lifestyles, it didn't answer my question of why. My need to be little did not go away.

I had a full scholarship, but to make extra cash I worked thirty hours a week at the student pub on campus.

During my free nights, I was still drawn to my local kink club.

I couldn't stay away. Going there and hanging out with people who had the same longings I did made me feel less isolated and more comforted.

After Ronnie, I'd made a new decision for myself.

No more daddies. Not right now at this point in my life.

I'd go to the club to hang out in the playroom and watch the other littles with their daddies.

I'd read, color, and play with the toys.

It was familiar territory. I had friends there.

For the past year, that had been enough.

Tonight, the club was in full swing even though it was a weekday.

It was a popular and successful place and men came in from the local area as well as surrounding cities because it was safe and clean.

The club had scheduled kink demonstrations in various private rooms as well as fantastic beer battered onion rings and buffalo wings.

The best in the world, in my opinion. It wasn't a cheap club but it was my one vice and I made sure to budget for it.

I had a monthly student membership which I used my pub tips to pay for.

The playroom was nearly full when I walked in. Even with the doors closed, the dance floor music pounded through the walls. The vibration gave the club an added sexy atmosphere along with fancy lighting and strobes.

Outside the playroom were lingering scents of sex oils and leather and spiced colognes. In the playroom, I breathed in baby powder and sugary lollipop smells. This was my safe space.

I moved through the room in my pink bib overall shorts, pink knee socks and saddle shoes. I'd had to hunt online to find those shoes and when they arrived in the mail I was the happiest little ever.

“Hey, Sage.”

I glanced in the direction of the voice. “Hi, Very.” His name was Avery but everyone called him by his nickname.

“Wanna come color with me? Daddy’s off doing daddy things right now.” Very’s daddy was like Ronnie, not exclusive. Very didn’t seem to mind but sometimes he seemed lonely even with lots of people around. I could relate.

“Sure.” I smiled at him and sat on a cushion at the low table where he was coloring.

“Great. I was hoping you'd show up.”

“I do love it here,” I said.

“Anything new going on with you?”

“You mean daddy-wise?”

He shrugged and nodded.

“Nope,” I answered.

“Well, if you keep turning everyone down you're gonna run out of daddy's.”

“That's okay. I'm not really looking right now. I'm not sure what I want anymore.”

“You mean you don't want to be a little?”

“I didn't say that. I can still be a little without someone else in my life.”

“But a little without a daddy is like… like, um, chocolate without the peanut butter.”

I laughed. “Maybe, but both are good separately, too.”

“I suppose. But you’re a year single. A year!”

I shrugged. “I’m not dying yet.”

“I like having someone steady in my life.”

I nodded without replying and picked up a purple crayon. Paging through a book already on the table, I found a dragon to color and soon lost myself in my art.

I had stopped questioning too much if the reason I hadn't found the right partner yet was because of me. Nothing was wrong with me. I'd had to tell myself that over and over before I truly believed it. It was all too simple; my boyfriends hadn't been the right ones.

A couple of handsome men approached us during the evening.

Very let them all know right away that he was taken.

I felt a little more awkward when I had to say no to them.

But my gut told me I wasn't ready to test the waters and see if my demands as a little, and maybe even a baby little, were too much for them.

Was what I wanted too much to ask for? My inner self kept telling me no, be patient, go easy on yourself. I wasn't desperate. Not yet. Maybe if I was older I’d start to feel anxious. But I was twenty-four. A senior in college now after taking two years off after high school. I had time.

One of the handsome men got me a juice box from the playroom fridge. I said, “Thank you,” but never even took a sip.

Very looked at me with sorry eyes. “If you ever get too lonely you're welcome to come play with me and Daddy.”

“Do you have permission to even say that?”

“Sure. He already told me he likes your look. We do threesomes all the time.”

I looked down at my pink overalls and bare knees. “Tell him thank you for thinking of me. I’m flattered. But no thanks.”

Very grinned at me. “Okay, But you don't know what you're missing. He has a sunken tub with water jets. We could have some fuuun.”

“Sounds nice. And fun. But I’m good. Busy with school and work. You know.”

He nodded. “Well, if you change your mind you always know where to find us.”

I could tell he wasn't pushing, just being nice. Very understood I was waiting for something else to come along in my life. Someone else. But I think it worried him that I was being celibate for far too long. This was a kink club, after all. The men who came here had anxiety about stuff like that.

I focused on my coloring again, feeling relaxed and calm. Even if I wasn't finding what I wanted here, I still loved it. The atmosphere. Friends like Very. No one looked at me funny. I could relax and be myself. For me it was like being home.

And that was what mattered most.