Live Like Legends (LIVING LEGEND #3)

Chapter 32

T he shower water felt good, really fucking good. The heat had my bones relaxing and somehow comforted me. I tilted my head up, letting the water rush over my face and down my curls. I smoothed my hands down my hair, squeezing excess water out. I looked down seeing dirt and crusted blood circle around my feet before it made its way to the drain.

Natalia had taken everyone back to Oculus and then returned to Mr. Cassial’s house with Xander, who inspected my wounds. He delicately touched over the places I was hurt and I couldn’t help but flinch away from him. I’d had battle scars before, bled profusely and made it out the other side, but this was different . The Enchanter didn’t let that deter him from doing his job.

He’d asked me how I felt. I’d tried to make a joke, something like how do you think I feel but all that got me was a raised eyebrow as if he wanted me to be serious. I told him I was okay for the most part; I was in pain, but I would manage. He planned to make me some items to heal the wounds quicker and even smooth out the scaring. He’d lightly placed his fingers at my neck and I felt my body wanting to shift away from him.

His lips pressed into a hard line, but he had let out a sigh and given Nick a nod over my shoulder. The Enchanter placed a tender hand on my knee. “I’m happy you’re safe, love.”

I knew there were creatures that had been in that place much longer than me, so I should be happy that I got out when I did. Time wise, I was only there for a day or two, but the way my body ached and this weird feeling I couldn’t pinpoint, had me feeling like I’d been in there for months.

I had told Nick when it came to his own mental issues to take it one step at a time. I could do the same for myself. Especially when there was someone like Nicholas Cassial doting on me. He was probably right outside the door, waiting for me to come out, so he could tuck me into his bed.

He hadn’t tried to talk to me about what happened in that cell when we made our way back to The Skies. He didn’t try to push. The endless looks from multiple angels in suspicion or amazement was enough to keep my eyes forward before we were secure in the confines of his room.

Torture was something I was used to, so I should be able to take it as much as I’ve given it. Why did I feel like there was something holding me back? Why did I feel like I hadn’t done a good enough job?

I placed both my hands on the shower wall, feeling my thigh pulse with the pain from Dimitri’s long claw marks. The things that he’d shown me, the visuals that riled me up…they haunted me at the time, but I’d bared witness to so much worse that I knew it wasn’t his mental debilitation that was gnawing at me.

I slammed my fist against the wall in frustration. Why couldn’t I just be fucking happy to be out of there and alive? I was with the person I loved, the person I trusted with my entire heart, the person that…

Before I let that last thought out, I wrapped it tightly in the shadows of mind and held it hostage. That thought wasn’t fair .

Lilith’s words came back to me.

Waiting for that precious little angel to come and save her, it’s sweet really.

I turned around pressing my back to the shower wall and sliding down so my ass hit the floor. I brought my knees up, resting my chin on them. The circumstances I’d found myself in required assistance, I knew that. I couldn’t shake the feeling that all this did was make me feel weak, while giving the heroic side of his personality an ego boost. It made me yearn for what Dimitri had offered me: free to use power with no consequences, a fucking throne when it was all over and entities that thrived off fearing and adoring me. That yearning quickly started to make my stomach turn.

I knew it wasn’t fair because I knew who Nick was and all he cared about was me .

But right now, how I felt about myself was all that fucking mattered.