Chapter 10
CHAPTER 10
Clay
We drove the rest of the day and didn’t stop until well after sunset. We’d just crossed from California into Nevada, and the long strip of desert ahead of us was completely barren. There wasn’t even a rest stop or a gas station. It was not the kind of place to try crossing in the dead of night, so we decided to stop and resume our journey in the morning.
The little desert town we managed to find also didn’t have much. There would be no fancy hotels for us that night, but at least there was a motel with some vacancies. The room even came with a fridge for me to store my leftovers from lunch, so we wouldn’t have to worry about breakfast in the morning.
I was feeling surprisingly optimistic, until I stepped through the door and was greeted with the sight of a single king-size bed.
Right.
Of course.
It was as I expected. No one just gave away things for free.
I glanced over at Logan as he locked the motel door behind us.
Well, at least he was attractive. That would make things easier. I’d thought the same thing when I first met him, back in a San Francisco hotel, and here I was in the same position again.
Dropping my bag off in a nearby chair, I combed my fingers through my hair a few times to detangle it, then laid myself down on the bed.
“Sorry about the room,” he said as he hung up his jacket on the peg by the door. “It’s...” He trailed off when he turned around and saw me.
I refused to squirm under his attention.
I was a professional, damn it. I should be used to this.
“Well, here we are.” With one hand, I slid the bottom of my shirt up until most of my stomach was exposed. “So, what’d you want?”
He didn’t move or say anything as he continued to stare at me.
I wanted to scream at him.
What was he waiting for?
Just get it over with already.
Did he want me to beg, or play coy?
Some clients only enjoyed it if they could delude themselves into thinking I wanted it as well. Maybe Logan was one of those.
I sat up on my knees and bit my lip, looking him up and down with my best look of desperation.
Yet, just as I opened my mouth to start begging, he held up a hand to silence me.
“I’m sorry. I think there’s been a misunderstanding. This was the only kind of room they had available. But...”
He looked around at the room, taking in the walls, the cracked television, and even the bathroom door. Everywhere but in my direction.
“I’ll, um... I’ll go sleep in the car.”
He was already reached for the door handle before I spoke up.
“Wait.” I sighed and reached out to grab his arm, tugging him toward the bed. “Don’t sleep in the car. You’ve been driving all day. That isn’t fair.”
He didn’t leave, but he also didn’t approach the bed.
“I’d rather sleep in the car than stay here and make you uncomfortable.”
“I’m not...”
Growling in frustration, I stood abruptly from the bed and started rooting through my bag of meager possessions.
“I’m not uncomfortable. I’m just...”
When I finally located a mostly clean change of clothes, I headed for the bathroom, but stopped at the door to look back at him over my shoulder.
“Look. Every instinct I have says that you must want something from me. I can’t help it. I expect you to try and take advantage of me. So, sleep in the bed. If you do try something with me, then it’s exactly what I expected. If you don’t, then I’ll be pleasantly surprised. It’s entirely up to you.”
Before he could respond, I slipped inside the bathroom and quickly closed the door behind me. The shower barely had any water pressure, and it didn’t get very hot, but I was more interested in the distraction of a shower than actually getting clean.
Anger prickled under my skin as I washed my hair, but I couldn’t tell who I was angry at.
Logan?
Myself?
The situation in general?
My thoughts weren’t clear enough to give me a straight answer. The emotions running through me seemed to have no rhyme or reason.
I grumbled under my breath as I finished washing my hair and scrubbed every inch of my skin with the cheap soap provided by the motel.
As the hot water ran out and my shower turned cold, so did my anger. When I finally stepped out of the shower, I was just tired.
Tired and numb, like all my emotions had disappeared down the shower drain with the rest of the water.
I just wanted to sleep. Alone or not didn’t even matter anymore. I rushed to dry myself off and put on the clean set of clothes before heading back to the bedroom.
While I’d been showering, Logan had turned off the lights and climbed into bed, laying as close to the edge of the mattress as he could with his back facing me. I could tell he wasn’t asleep yet, but he didn’t say a word as I slipped under the sheet beside him.
For a while, I lay there in the dark, waiting for him to turn over and reach for me. I wouldn’t even care if he did. I had no emotions left, other than a numb sense of curiosity.
Yet, the minutes ticked by, and he didn’t move or even acknowledge me next to him. Eventually, I heard his breathing pattern change, and I knew he’d fallen asleep.
Turning over to face the opposite wall, I hugged the remaining pillow to my chest and closed my eyes. Part of me was relieved that he hadn’t tried to touch me, but part of me was confused and even a little disappointed.
I felt like an actor that had gone through the effort of memorizing all their lines, only to step out onto the stage and find my costar acting out an entirely different play.
I’d gladly say the right lines if someone would just give me the correct script.
Despite my earlier nap, I was still exhausted, and it didn’t take long for me to drift off to sleep.
My last thought was a vague hope that maybe everything would make more sense in the morning.