Long Hard Road (Crestwood Valley)

25. Madison

“Are you really going to leave us next week?” Lily asked as she refilled my cup with wine. This was at least my third glass and I was delightfully tipsy.

“I have to. My agent has some photo shoots lined up and then I have to go to an award show in a couple of weeks.” I should’ve been excited that my album was nominated, but I hated the kind of attention that came with those events. Hours in hair and makeup, ridiculously uncomfortable dress, and polite schmoozing on the red carpet.

“Your life is so glamorous,” Harper said with a sigh. “Crestwood just can’t compete.”

“I don’t know,” Lily said with a conspiratorial smile. “We have one thing that Hollywood doesn’t have.” She wagged her eyebrows. “Sullivan men.”

I laughed and held up my glass in a toast. “Can’t argue with that.”

“Okay, gross.” Harper faked a gag. “But also… I like you with my brother, Madi. He smiles again now that you’re in his life.”

“He didn’t smile before?” I decided to pretend that Nate hadn’t told me about his trauma. I didn’t want Harper digging for information from me.

“He did before he moved away. Nate isn’t like my other brothers. The rest of them all knew exactly what they wanted to do with their lives before they even graduated high school. Nate was always too busy helping other people to worry about himself. I know he’s been through some stuff that he doesn’t talk about and it always hurt my heart knowing that he was dealing with everything alone. I’m glad he’s not alone anymore.” She gave me a big smile and Lily punched her arm.

“Hey. I thought I was your favorite future sister-in-law.”

Harper shrugged. “I love you, Lil, but that has nothing to do with you dating my brother.”

“Do you think you’ll come back to Crestwood in the future?” Lily asked, shifting in her oversized chair.

“I’m not sure. I’d like to return someday.” That was a lie. I didn’t want to return because I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to keep having relaxing mornings and sexy nights with Nate. I wanted to try out those chairs on his porch and see the trees around his house change colors with the seasons. I wanted him to ask me to stay.

I stared into the crackling fire and felt a familiar dread returning. Anytime I thought about leaving Crestwood, my stomach churned.

All three of us turned at the sound of heavy footsteps and loud voices heading toward us from the pathway. I identified Nate’s voice instantly and felt a familiar tingle in my spine as I waited for him to appear.

Evan was with him and both of them looked gorgeous in the moonlight. I could understand why Lily was practically drooling at the sight of her fiancé, but I preferred the man stalking toward me with a predatory gaze.

“Hey, angel.” He put his hands on each of my chair’s arms and leaned down to kiss me. I tasted just a hint of beer on his lips. “Good night with the girls?”

“Yeah. I missed you.” I locked my fingers into his hair and pulled him close again, this time kissing him longer than before. “How was the bar?”

“Lonely without you there.” His smile was sweet but it didn’t reach his eyes and he looked tired. “Ready to go check out the Airstream?”

“I don’t know. I’m pretty comfortable here.” I faked a yawn. “I might be too tired to move.”

“Not a problem.” He had me scooped out of the chair and cradled in his arms before I knew what was happening. “Good night, everyone. We’ll see you in a few days.”

“Great talking to you, brother,” Harper grumbled.

“You don’t have to carry me, Nate.” My protest was unconvincing since I was snuggling more comfortably into his arms.

“How much did you drink tonight?” He kept his eyes ahead of us to make sure he wasn’t about to walk us into a tree. Our Airstream was one of the secluded ones that was slightly off the main path.

“Three glasses of wine. Just enough to agree to do whatever you want in bed but not so much that I’ll regret it.” I traced a finger over the dusting of stubble on his tense jaw. “You look stressed, honey. Did something happen tonight?”

“Let’s wait until we’re in the Airstream and then I’ll fill you in.” He pressed his lips to my temple and the warmth of his kiss spread all the way down my neck. “You are freezing, Madison.”

“I didn’t want to sit too close to the fire because I didn’t want to reek of smoke tonight.” My eyelids felt heavy and I fought to keep them open. “I’m sleepy.”

“Hang tight. We’re almost there.” His arms shifted a moment later as he fumbled a key into a lock.

The lights that Lily had strung to add some ambient lighting outside the Airstreams cast a soft glow across Nate’s face. It made the angles of his bone structure look even sharper. His eyelashes looked impossibly long and his jaw tightened as he struggled to turn the key with me in his arms.

“You’re beautiful,” I said, no longer tired or buzzed. My fingers sprayed over his cheek. “It almost hurts to look at you.”

“You’re drunk,” he said with an awkward laugh, shoving open the door.

“I’m not. But even if I was, it wouldn’t make my statement any less true.” I nudged his chest with my elbow. “Guys as hot as you aren’t also supposed to be nice. And good at sex. You’re supposed to be cocky and rude and a selfish lover.”

“Thanks for the tip.” He put me gently on my feet. “I don’t think I can carry you inside without accidentally banging your head on the wall.”

“And you’d prefer to be banging my head against a headboard?” I joked.

He sighed and waved a hand through the open doorway. “Get inside before you freeze to death.”

“That could never happen when I’m standing by a hottie like you.” I slapped his ass before ducking inside.

The Airstream really wasn’t more than a bed. Our overnight bags were on the floor and someone had left a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket on the tiny table tucked in a corner across from a small fridge.

“It’s cozy.” I made a quick assessment. “I’m afraid you’re not going to be able to get very creative in here.”

“We’ll make do.” He eased in behind me and shut and locked the door. “All we need is the bed, angel.”

His hand slid over my hip and I wrapped my fingers around his wrist. “Not so fast, Sullivan. Tell me what happened at the bar that has you looking so grumpy.”

“Fiona.” Her name was a grunt from his lips.

I whirled. “Did she do something? Leave a threat?”

“No, she came in and had a drink.” His glare settled on the wall behind me. “Which means she’s even crazier than I thought.”

“I’m going to need more details than that.” I patted his chest. “But first, are you okay? It had to be upsetting to see her again.”

His eyes came back to me and he stroked a hand along my neck. “I’m good. It was… strange to talk to her again. But once the shock wore off, I was able to say some things that needed to be said. I got a little bit of closure.”

“Good.” She rubbed the spot over my heart. “If she hurt you again, I was going to get out my brass knuckles.”

“You have brass knuckles?” The tension hadn’t completely left his jaw, but his smile softened his rough edges.

“Take a seat on the bed. I will give you an amazing shoulder rub while you tell me what happened.”

He nodded while his eyes scanned every inch of my face. “Thank you for taking care of me, Madison.”

“Someone has to do it since you’re always too busy taking care of everyone else.” I had realized that after knowing him for only a few hours, but it had been reinforced when Harper had told me the same thing. “Sit.” I nudged him toward the bed.

Once he was settled, I climbed behind him and settled my knees alongside his thighs. I pressed a kiss to his neck and slowly worked my thumbs into the hard muscles along the base of his neck.

“Oh, fuck. That feels incredible, babe.” His head dipped down and his shoulders dropped.

“Start talking.” I twisted my thumbs in deeper and he groaned.

For the next twenty minutes, Nate told me everything that had happened with Fiona and Ellison. My heart ached for him when he told me about how Fiona had thrown the kids in his face. I was confused when he only vaguely mentioned that Ellison had stuck around to have a drink after Fiona was arrested.

“Did you guys talk?” I asked, scratching my fingers lightly down his back before massaging my thumbs into the muscles on either side of his spine.

“A little bit.”

“What did you talk about?”

His back shuddered hard with an elaborate breath. “Does it matter?”

“It might.” I stopped the massage and slid my arms around his waist, resting my chin on his shoulder. “Did you talk about me?”

“Your name may have come up once or twice.” He was trying to sound teasing but I didn’t miss the slide of his jaw as his teeth came together hard.

“Tell me.” I nipped playfully at his earlobe and slid one hand under the waistband of his jeans. “Or I will torture the information out of you.”

“I choose the torture,” he grunted.

When my hand slipped over his hardened cock, a low growl caught in his throat. “You sure about that, Sullivan? Because I could do this for hours.”

He turned his head toward me and flashed a grin that made my core throb in anticipation. “Just remember that when you are done, it will be my turn to play.”

We had rented the Airstream through Monday morning. Nate had sold me on the idea by listing all the fun things we could do during the day in addition to the fun we’d have at night. There was talk of ice fishing, snowshoeing, sleigh rides, and skating on the frozen pond. Evenings cuddled by the fire and the roasting of marshmallows for s’mores. By Sunday afternoon, we had done none of those things. Yet we’d still managed to have a lot of fun without leaving our bed.

“I’m sure no one will miss us if we skip dinner,” Nate said as he watched me get dressed for the first time in two days. For our other meals, he had thrown on clothes and grabbed food from the lodge. Then he brought it back and we ate it in bed before quickly returning to our regularly scheduled programming. Tonight, that wasn’t an option. We had promised to attend his family’s Sunday dinner.

“We could use a good refuel, Nate. And I haven’t breathed fresh air in almost forty-eight hours.” Our Airstream reeked of sex and I probably did too. I was just glad that I’d been able to sneak in a shower. The Airstream had been retrofitted with a tiny bathroom along the wall across from the bed. It had a toilet with a sink over the back of it and a shower that was just barely big enough for one person.

“We could take a quick walk around the ranch instead,” he suggested hopefully.

“Honey, we can’t just do nothing but have sex for the foreseeable future,” I protested.

He shrugged. “Why not? We’ve only got a week left. Do you really want to spend some of that with my family?”

My heart cracked at the thought of leaving him in a week. At least now I knew why he was fighting so hard for us to stay inside. He wanted to squeeze everything he could from the time we had left together.

I finished tugging on my sweater and then went over to him, straddling his lap as I looped my arms around his neck. His hands went instantly to my hips. We’d just had sex in this same position about an hour ago.

“We have a whole week left, Nate. Plenty of time for us to be together. We can spare a couple of hours for me to hang out with your family and finally meet your niece. She would never forgive you if I left Crestwood without taking a selfie with her.” I rocked my hips against his. “Don’t you want to be the favorite uncle?”

“Babe, you can’t try to convince me to leave this bed and then dry hump me.”

“But that’s how I always convince you to do things.” I brushed my nose against his. “Like that thing you let me do last night.”

“You think you had to convince me to let you sit on my face?” He chuckled and dug his fingers into my ass. “That ride is always available to you, angel.”

“Good to know.” I tried to return his smile, but I was stuck on the thought that I was only going to have him for another week. That he wouldn’t always be available to me. I would leave Crestwood and he would move on. I was sure it wouldn’t take long for some other women to swoop in and fill my place in his bed.

“Let’s go to dinner.” His hands trailed down to my thighs. “I know everyone will want to see you and this will be their last chance since you won’t be here for the next gathering.”

It was the first time either of us had acknowledged what our lives were going to be like after I left. I hated picturing Nate sitting around the dinner table with his family, all of them laughing and teasing one another, with an empty chair next to him. My chair. I hated even more picturing another woman in that chair.

As expected, his family was thrilled when we walked into Tom’s kitchen. Lily and Harper greeted me with big hugs and Chase handed me a beer while making an inappropriate comment to Nate about how they would need to sanitize every inch of our Airstream when we were done with it. Tom smacked the back of Chase’s head.

“Let’s not forget the crusty socks I used to find under your bed,” he said, giving his son a pointed look.

Chase smiled guiltily. “So glad you remember that, Dad.”

When Evan arrived with his kids in tow, chaos ensued. Emma screeched loudly and jumped in place. Nate laughed as he tried to introduce me and she immediately launched into a speech about how much she loved my latest concert. She grabbed my arm and pulled me into the living room so she could show me every picture on her phone that she had taken at the concert.

Nate grumbled something about losing me to a tween on our way past, but he was smiling. So was his whole damn family when they saw the way he was looking at me. The Sullivan family was the family I had always wanted. None of the adults cared at all that I was famous and made a lot of money. They just cared that I made Nate happy.

After dinner, we played an intense round of War and there was a lot of good-natured trash talk that had me laughing until my cheeks ached. Unlike last time, no one was eager to leave after I took all their quarters. The guys and the twins went down to the stables together to check on a couple of mares who were expected to foal soon.

“You aren’t really going to leave on Saturday, are you?” Harper asked in a pleading tone. “You belong in Crestwood, Madi.”

“This isn’t my home. My job requires me to be elsewhere.” I plucked at a thread on the pillow I was cuddling on the large, leather sofa in Tom’s living room.

“It wouldn’t have to.” Lily tucked her legs beneath her across from me. “I was able to start my life over here. It took a little adjustment, but you could do the same.”

I had thought about that a lot over the last couple of days, usually while I was watching Nate sleep next to me. I wanted to stay, to be with him. But he hadn’t asked me to stay. In fact, he had been carefully preparing us both for my departure.

“It’s not really my call,” I said quietly.

“Of course it is. Nate wants you to stay.” Harper pointed her beer bottle at me. “And it’s obvious that you want to be here with him. So… stay.”

“He hasn’t asked me to stay.” I wasn’t sure why that was so hard to admit.

“My brother can be a total dumbass sometimes.” Harper sighed and reached over, squeezing my arm. “He’s just afraid that you will say no and break his heart. Just tell him you want to stay and put him out of his misery.”

“I’m not going to put him in a position where he feels like he has to say yes just so he doesn’t hurt my feelings. You and I both know that Nate isn’t good at putting his own feelings first.” My concerns were only compounded by the fact that if I did stay, I would need to stay with him. My cabin was rented to someone else starting next week and I knew there weren’t many rental options available in Crestwood. That was a lot of pressure to put on a guy I had known for three weeks.

“You are both so damn stubborn.” Lily tossed a pillow at me. “I know how it feels to put your heart out there and hope a guy doesn’t crush it. But Nate isn’t going to do that, Madi. He adores you.”

“I can’t stay anyway,” I said, changing my tactic. “I have a bunch of work commitments lined up. Backing out isn’t an option.”

“Do you even want to do those things?” Harper asked doubtfully. “You don’t sound like someone who can’t wait to get back to work.”

She was right. I had no desire to pose for pictures and walk red carpets. That didn’t matter, though. “My life isn’t normal. I can’t just do what I want. I have dozens of people who depend on me. People whose livelihoods depend on me.”

“What about Nate? Do you think he hasn’t grown to depend on you?” Pain etched itself deep in Harper’s eyes. “He loves you, Madi. Maybe he hasn’t told you, but I can see it. You being here has brought him back to life.”

I wasn’t so sure. I knew that Nate and I had something special, that we were falling for each other. But love? It had only been three weeks. He had never even seen my life outside of Crestwood. It was intense enough to scare away even the toughest, most confident man.

When the guys returned, Nate came straight to me. He pulled me off the sofa and right to the door, calling a hasty goodnight to everyone. He didn’t even give me a chance to tell Harper and Lily goodbye. We entered the Airstream in a hurry, both of us already stripping away our clothes. As he laid me on the bed and pressed his strong, warm body against mine, I looked deep into his eyes.

His glide into me was slow and smooth, with no hesitation or loss of control. His lips molded against mine like they had been created only to kiss me and no one else. The air filled with familiar sounds of soft moans, rustling sheets, and colliding skin. I focused on each sound, each touch of his hands on my body. I wanted to remember this moment forever because this was the moment that I realized I was no longer falling for Nate Sullivan. I was all the way in love with him.