Love Always, Isa

Prologue

MARISSA

Scared and alone, I stare at my reflection, trying not to cry. I’m a hot mess with dark circles under my eyes, dark red hair pulled up into a messy bun, and pajamas that are quickly becoming too tight around the middle. The walls of my tiny bathroom seem to be closing in on me. It’s only three minutes. Why does it feel like hours?

“Breathe in.” I follow my instruction. “And out. It’s going to be okay. You got this. No matter what happens, you will be okay,” I tell myself in the mirror.

The truth is I don’t know if I can handle what happens next, and I sure as hell don’t know if everything is going to be okay.

It’s been two months since I spent that week with Adam. Two months since I completely gave myself to him. He was the first and only guy I have ever been with. I always admired my parents’ relationship. My dad was the only person my mom had ever been intimate with. She would tell me stories from their younger days about how he would go out of his way to make sure she felt loved and cared for. She always talked about how special he made her feel and how she knew pretty quickly that he was the one.

Ever since I was a kid, I dreamed of finding someone that made me feel the way he made her feel. When I met Adam, I found that person. I fell for him long before we met but finally meeting him and being in his arms was heaven. One thing led to another, and we got so caught up in the moment that neither of us thought of using protection.

God, how could we have been so stupid?

The alarm on my phone beeps, signaling the longest three minutes of my life have passed. I close my eyes and grab the stick off the counter. Taking a long, deep breath, I open my eyes and look at it.

Two pink lines stare back at me, taunting me. Two pink lines that will change my life forever.

I take a moment to reflect on my life in the year since I graduated from high school. After being a loner throughout school, I finally have the friendships I’ve always longed for.

Have you ever met someone you had an immediate connection with? For me, that was my best friend, Jen. We met online, and she introduced me to her friends, including Adam, and even though they were halfway around the world, I was one of them.

Am I really going to give that up and turn my back on them after all they’ve been through? That is exactly what I have to do. It’s going to hurt like hell, but this is not about me anymore. One day, I hope they can forgive me.

I walk back into the bedroom and grab my phone. I delete all my social media profiles, then open my messages to do the one thing I swore I would never do.

Two months ago, I promised Adam I would never leave him and that I would always be by his side.

Two months ago, I was so ready to throw caution to the wind and run away with him.

It’s funny how much can change in just eight weeks. He’s a fugitive and I cannot be so selfish as to put my love for Adam ahead of my, no, our child’s safety and well-being. I refuse to let them go through that. They deserve to be safe and happy.

A life on the run would be neither of those things. I have to do what’s best for this child, even if it breaks me in the process.

Adam…

The week we spent together was the best week of my life. In such a short time, you have made me incredibly happy. I know I promised never to leave you, and when I made that promise, I had no intention of ever breaking it. However, in the last two months, things have changed, and I can no longer keep that promise. I think it is best if we end this.

I love you.

Please don’t ever doubt that, but right now, this is bigger than you or me. I hope one day to be able to tell you why and that you will agree this was for the best.

I love you.

Please stay safe.

Adam

…

The notification that he’s read the message pops up and the bubbles indicate he’s replying. If I read his reply, I might back out, and there’s too much at stake for that. Knowing that he’s a hacker and can easily gain access to my phone, I smash it into pieces on the counter. Tomorrow, I will get a new one with a new number. I am so thankful I never told them anything about my family, and I’ve never used my real name with them or online. The person I was to them, Isa Jenkins, no longer exists.

From this day forward, I am back to being Marissa Summers.

I quickly pack my things into a bag. Luckily, there isn’t much. I need to get as far away from this place as possible.

Adam will come looking for me, and I don’t plan on being here when he does. I take one last look around the room at the life I am leaving behind and rush out of the door to my car.

Climbing behind the wheel, I run my shaky hands over my cheeks to wipe away the tears. After taking a moment to compose myself I make the decision to go to my sister Amanda’s. She lives a few hours away in a small town and will let me stay with her until I figure things out.

Adam taught me how to disappear without a trace and be completely undetectable, but I never thought he would be the one I was running from. I pull out of the parking lot and head for the freeway.

This is it.

This is the start of my new life.