Love and Other Goals (Love and Other #1)

Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

T he rest of the week flies by now that I’m no longer weighed down by the burden of finishing my early admission application. I’ll hear back with enough time to apply to other law schools if I don’t get accepted, so for now I can fully focus on the fall semester of classes.

Well, classes plus Mateo. And I guess AOPi and Arrow will get some of my attention too.

Unfortunately, aside from a smile across the room at the Arrow meeting, I don’t see Mateo throughout the week. They have an away match on Saturday, which they win 2-1. Mateo texts me a rundown of the game play, and I’m itching to watch him play again. Next Saturday’s match is at home, and I’ve already recruited Amaya to attend with me.

The first week of October sends a charge of energy through the AOPi house—we are nothing if not a group of basic college girls obsessed with the fall season. The dining hall gets decorated with pumpkin centerpieces, and everyone pulls out the fall fashion from their wardrobes. With homecoming now just a few weeks away, it also means assigned work hours on the float and yard display, as well as more practices for the showcase performers.

I love the fall frenzy even more so when Mateo asks if we could go to the fall festival together on Friday night. Every first Friday of October, the city of Brooklyn sets up a festival in Center Square with all of the fall essentials—pumpkins, hay bales, music, apple everything, and local businesses with booths to sell their autumn merchandise. It’s one of my favorite nights of the entire year, and I’m extra excited to experience it with Mateo this time.

Friday after dinner, I submit myself to Teegan’s demand to pick my outfit and do my hair and makeup. The temperature dropped today, so I insist on my outfit including pants instead of a dress, which she initially whines about. By the end of her beauty session, Teegan seems satisfied with my leggings, oversized ribbed tunic, loosely curled hair, and darker-than-usual eye makeup.

As I walk out the front door to greet Mateo, I don’t even mind the crowd of girls outside, not-so-subtly staring and whispering. He’s smiling as he walks toward me. “Lana, you look incredible, as usual.”

I want to return the compliment, considering that Mateo looks nothing less than completely hot in dark jeans and a brick-red Henley shirt, sleeves pulled up to mid-arm. The red of his shirt starkly contrasts his tan complexion and black hair, which looks perfectly tousled tonight. The words stick in my throat, though, because I haven’t quite figured out how to feel comfortable complimenting his physical appearance. I mumble something about being glad to see him again.

He opens the passenger door for me, and there’s no mistaking the increased volume of girls’ voices talking about us. Mateo doesn’t seem to mind at all. He simply flashes a dimpled grin at me as he gets in the driver’s side and says, “Ready to go revel in your favorite season?”

I laugh. “You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into tonight. I’m the manifestation of every stereotype about girls and fall.”

“Why do you think I asked you to go with me—I need to experience it through your beautiful eyes,” Mateo responds with a chuckle. “I’m happily following wherever you lead tonight. ”

Center Square is already packed with young families in addition to the college crowd, so we have to park a little far away and walk back toward the action. My heart bursts with delight as we reach the outskirts of the festival and smell the delicious mingling of campfire, pumpkin spice, apple cider, and roasted marshmallows.

I lead Mateo through the heart of the festivities to all my favorite stops. He’s all smiles as we peruse local booths, play festival games, enjoy apple cider donuts and hot coffee, and admire the decorative displays. He even suggests pausing to take pictures at some of the photo ops set up around the square. I’ve always loved this event, but watching Mateo match my enthusiasm in a totally sincere way is making this the greatest fall festival ever.

We’re walking to the fire pit to roast marshmallows when Mateo’s phone starts ringing. He glances at the screen and says, “Hey, it’s my sister. Do you mind if I step away and take this real quick?”

“Of course! I’ll just go look at the booths we didn’t see on the far side—meet me over there?”

Mateo squeezes my elbow and says thanks right before stepping away and swiping his phone to answer. “Hey, hermana hermosa , what’s up?” I hear him say before he’s out of ear shot, and it makes me smile. I’d love to meet these family members he’s clearly so fond of.

I make my way over to the booth of a woman selling handmade jewelry. I’m browsing to see if any pieces inspire as a gift for my mom or Olivia when I feel a hand grab my elbow from behind. Startled, I whirl around to see Aaron standing behind me.

“Oh my gosh, Aaron, you scared me!” I gasp, heart racing.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. Lana, I really need to talk to you. Will you come over here with me for a minute? Please?” he asks, a pleading look in his eye.

My body tenses up, dreading however this conversation is going to go. I nod, though, and follow him through the edge of the festival booths to the entrance of an alley. “What’s up?” I ask, trying to sound calmer than I feel.

Aaron has a frenzied energy about him, swinging his arms and shifting his weight back and forth before he finally speaks. “Lana, I just need to know what’s going on with you and Alvarez. What are you doing with him?”

I’m a little shocked by Aaron being so forthright and don’t respond immediately, not really knowing what to say.

Aaron paces for a few seconds before turning back to face me again. “I just don’t understand, Lana. I thought it was obvious that you and I were, you know…that we liked each other, and we’d eventually start dating. What are you doing going out with Alvarez?”

I can feel myself shaking as adrenaline pulses through my body. It’s not lost on me that six weeks ago, I would have given anything to hear these words from Aaron. But a lot has changed since then. I try to formulate a firm but kind response. “Aaron, yeah, I guess we did like each other, and maybe it did seem obvious. But you never actually said anything. You never did anything. I couldn’t know for sure that you really did like me, and that it wasn’t all in my head.”

Aaron groans and wipes his hand down his face. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t come out and say it, Lana. I’ve known for a long time that you were who I wanted to end up with after college. I thought I was being super transparent about how I felt about you.” He pauses, like what he’s said should be the “gotcha” of a winning closing argument.

His eyes look almost wild with panic. I have compassion for how he’s feeling, but I’m not persuaded away from my new affection for Mateo. I look down and quietly speak. “I’m sorry, Aaron. I don’t really know what to say.”

Aaron grabs my hand in both of his. “Lana, if you went out with Mateo to get my attention, to get me to say something and ask you out, it worked, okay? I’m here, I’m being direct, I’m telling you how I feel and that I want to be with you. You made your point.”

I narrow my eyes and yank my hand away, the compassion I was feeling for him completely snuffed out. “You did not just accuse me of using Mateo to manipulate you into asking me out. How dare you think that I would do that.”

He clearly realizes he’s said the wrong thing, and desperately tries to backtrack. “No, that’s not what I meant, I wouldn’t think that of you, Lana. I’m sorry, it’s just…the thought of you dating someone else, that I might have missed my chance when I’ve been waiting for you for so long just has my head all mixed up.”

Now my blood is really hot. Boiling. “ You , waiting for me, for so long? Aaron, I’m the one who’s been waiting around on you. I liked you ever since the end of freshman year! You’ve had two years of chances. Two years !” I’m practically yelling now and consciously take a breath to force myself to quiet down, but the heat remains in my voice.

“You strung me along for years, Aaron. I was constantly deciphering what your intentions were, or if you even had any. You flirted and led me on, but never did anything. You never asked me out. You never told me how you felt. You had plenty of opportunities but never took any of them. So I’m not apologizing for going out with a guy who was upfront about how he felt about me and is actively pursuing me. A guy I happen to like. A lot.”

Aaron’s eyes look pained. He strides back and forth with his hands on his hips, but I don’t say anything else.

“Okay, it’s my fault, I know it’s my own fault. I was an idiot for not saying something to you sooner,” Aaron says, still pacing like a caged tiger. He lets out a deep breath that turns into more of a growl before pushing the palms of his hands into his eyes. He turns to face me. “Lana, listen. I just need you to know that I’m here, if things don’t work out with Alvarez, I’ll be right?—”

I cut him off before he can finish. “Nope, you’re not going to do that, Aaron. I really like Mateo. And I’m going to put one hundred percent of myself into our relationship to make it work. I’m not going to sabotage what I have with Mateo by having a backup option with you in my mind.”

“Lana, please?—”

“No, Aaron. You and I are just friends. If you want to remain friends, then you can’t say things like that anymore. You can’t try to make me doubt things with Mateo. You have to accept just being friends, or we need to stay away from each other altogether,” I finish, still trembling and breathing hard.

Aaron doesn’t say anything, just clenches his jaw and gives a curt nod. He turns to leave the alley, but pauses to say over his shoulder, “Fine, I get it. I’ll see you around, Lana.”

I’m fighting back tears from sheer emotional exhaustion. I lean against the wall and take a few deep breaths, trying to calm my nervous system. Mateo must be finished talking with his sister by now and looking around for me. My hands are shaking too much to try to take out my phone to see if he’s texted me, so I take one more breath before turning right out of the alley back toward the festival.

I’ve only made it a few feet when I see Mateo standing near the jewelry booth, hands casually in his pockets. Oh no, I hope he didn’t see me with Aaron . He gives me a soft smile, a new smile I haven’t seen before. There’s a quiet confidence to it, an easy sweetness that washes warmth over me like a spring sunbeam.

Mateo walks the few feet over and says, “I’m so sorry I had to take a phone call in the middle of our date. Turns out nothing was wrong, Isabel just wanted to chat. But I didn’t want to miss it if she needed me.”

“Mateo, it’s fine, really. I’m glad you want to be there for your sister,” I tell him as we start slowly walking back toward the festival center. “Did you still want to go roast marshmallows?” My heart rate is slowly settling back down to normal.

“Of course, it wouldn’t be the true fall festival experience if we didn’t,” he responds with a grin, making me smile. We walk a few paces and then Mateo pauses, turning slightly toward me. “Lana, would it be okay with you if I held your hand?” His cocoa eyes look down into mine with such hopefulness that my heart nearly stops.

I smile up at him. “It would be more than okay.” He beams back and reaches his right hand down to lace his fingers through mine. I didn’t realize how cold my hands were after that intense conversation until my left hand is swallowed up by Mateo’s warmth. We walk toward the fire pit, hand in hand, and I abandon all hope of a normalized heart rate.

One of the churches in Brooklyn has a s’mores station set up, so we roast marshmallows while enjoying the warmth of the fire. He tells me a few snippets about Isabel, and it only makes me want to meet her all the more. We head out when things start to wind down. Mateo immediately takes my hand again as we walk back to the truck, and I’m silently swooning the whole way. Teegan will be so pleased.

We drive back to AOPi, discussing our favorite parts of the festival. When Mateo pulls up outside the house, he leaves the car running and shifts toward me rather than getting out. His face looks serious, and I panic again that maybe he saw Aaron leave the alley and got the wrong impression.

“Lana, I wanted to ask you something,” he starts. My chest locks up with fear until he reaches down to take my hand, lightly tracing his thumb across the back. “I don’t think it’s a surprise that I haven’t been dating anyone other than you, and as far as I know, you haven’t been dating anyone else either,” he says, and I give a soft chuckle while shaking my head. He’s looking down at our hands when he continues. “Maybe this is silly, but I wanted to officially ask you to date exclusively, to ask if you’d consider being my girlfriend.”

I place my other hand on top of his hand sandwiching mine and curl my fingers around his. “I won’t just consider it, I’ll tell you yes right now,” I answer with total confidence.

I want to bottle up the smile Mateo gives me in response and pull it out any time I feel sad or cold or lonely or really just for any reason at all. He squeezes my hands and says, “Well, okay then, Girlfriend. I had a great time at the festival with you tonight. You can officially call me a fall-lover now that I get to spend it with you.”

I wish I could find an excuse to continue sitting in the truck with him, holding his hands forever, but I know he has a soccer match tomorrow and needs to get some rest. “Well, Boyfriend, this was my favorite fall festival too. Thanks for humoring me in my obsession. I should head inside now so you can go get some sleep.”

Mateo gives my hands one final squeeze before turning off the truck and walking around to my side. Even though it’s a short jaunt up to the AOPi house, he still takes my hand, as if unwilling to miss any opportunity to touch me. We’re both reluctant to let go and part ways, but a group of girls coming up the steps behind us pops the magic bubble, forcing us to say goodnight.

The second the door closes, I’m ambushed by girls demanding details about Mateo and me, since our relationship is very much out in the open now. I give enough affirmative but vague answers to get them to leave me alone and then head up to our room. It’s empty, presumably because Amaya and Teegan are somewhere working on something homecoming-related after returning from the festival. I’m grateful for the quiet, even though I know I’ll have to give them a full rundown later.

But for the moment, I lay down on my bed in the silence and soak in the fact that I have a boyfriend. And it’s Mateo Alvarez.

I cover my face with a throw pillow and happy scream.