Love and Other Goals (Love and Other #1)

Chapter 34

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

T he rest of February flies by. I try to intentionally make more effort to stay present with not only Mateo, but also Teegan and Amaya. It’s a challenging tension of wanting to stay focused on my goals while also recognizing that the end of my time at Townsend is rapidly approaching. This sweet season of life will soon be coming to a close, which I avoid thinking about as much as possible.

The week before spring break arrives, and students are split between working extra hard to stay focused and slacking off entirely. I’m clearly one of the former, but Aaron leans more toward the latter, making side comments under his breath in our Human Communications class that I can’t help but laugh at.

When Aaron calls me Tuesday afternoon, I assume he has a question about our upcoming quiz on Friday, so I answer as I’m walking out of the library.

“Hey Aaron, what’s up?” I ask.

“Lana, hi. Um, are you done with class for the day?”

“Yep, I’m just leaving the library to head back to AOPi.”

“So, there’s something that I wanted to talk to you about. Before you head home, could I come meet you, maybe in the outdoor plaza by the library? It will only take me a few minutes to get there.” Aaron says.

I hesitate, trying to decide whether to agree. If this was just a question about class, he’d ask over the phone. I have a flashback to the last time Aaron cornered me in the alley at the fall festival, and break out in a cold sweat.

“Lana, please, I only need a few minutes. There’s just…something I think you should know about.”

I agree and hang up the phone. Sitting down on a bench, I hold my backpack on my lap like makeshift armor. My fingers start tapping melodies on the bench next to me as I wait.

Aaron arrives and takes a seat next to me. I cut to the chase. “Alright, tell me what this is about.”

He looks out and worries his lip. Now I’m really feeling anxious.

“So, I’ve been debating all day whether I should say anything or not, but I just really feel like you have the right to know this because it affects you,” Aaron begins, angling his body toward mine. “Mateo is looking into playing soccer professionally.”

I stare blankly at Aaron as my brain tries to compute. “Huh?”

He blows out a breath before continuing. “Mateo, he’s talking to some professional soccer teams about joining after he graduates.”

My heart pounds in my ears as I process what he’s telling me. I stand up, letting my backpack fall to the ground as I start pacing back and forth.

“What are you saying? Like, he’s committed to a team?” I ask.

Aaron stands and holds his hands up. “I don’t know all the specifics; he didn’t share everything. I just know that he’s been pursuing it for a while, that he’s hoping to play for a professional team. And I know that you’re already committed to going to California, and…I assume you were picturing Mateo going there also,” Aaron finishes with an awkward cough.

I’m still pacing as my adrenaline builds. “But Mateo hasn’t mentioned anything about this. He hasn’t said anything about continuing to play soccer,” I say out loud, half to myself and half to Aaron.

“I know. That’s why I felt like I should tell you. It’s something you deserve to know if it could affect your future. I just didn’t think it was right for you to continue planning something that might not happen. It didn’t seem fair to you,” Aaron says.

Why wouldn’t Mateo tell me about this? I thought we would be getting engaged, getting married, moving to California together. How could he not tell me he’s considering this? My breath grows shallow and rapid. Dots cloud my peripheral vision.

Aaron’s hands grasp my elbows, and he turns me to face him. “Lana, take a deep breath. In, out, in, out,” he guides my breathing. My vision clears as my breath stabilizes, but my heart still feels like it’s in a vice grip.

“Why hasn’t he told me?” I whisper.

Aaron shakes his head. “I don’t know, Lana, but I’m here for you.” His grip on my elbows tightens, and I look up. His blue eyes are fiercely locked on mine, and he takes a half step closer. “I’m…I’m still here for you, Lana.”

Aaron’s words click into place in my mind, and I wrench my arms out of his grip and step backward. “Don’t you dare,” I hiss as Aaron reaches out to try to take my arm again.

“Lana—”

“NO!” I bark angrily. A girl walking past on a nearby sidewalk jumps, then hurriedly walks away as Aaron closes in to try to contain our conversation.

“Lana, I just want to be here for you as a friend, and, you know, in the future, if you want something different, I just…want you to know I’m here,” Aaron says in a low voice.

I ball up my fist and punch hard against Aaron’s chest. “I cannot believe you would drop this bomb on me about Mateo and then try to capitalize on the mess, hoping I’d run to you.” My eyes flash with fire as I glare down the caught-with-the-cookie-jar expression on his face. “I’ve told you multiple times—I don’t have feelings for you anymore. We are just friends. ”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, just forget I said that,” Aaron backpedals.

Grabbing my backpack off the ground, I whirl back around to face him. “We are not friends anymore. Don’t try to sit by me in class or talk to me again. Regardless of what happens with me and Mateo, I’m done with you, Aaron.”

I stalk off, ignoring his attempts to call me back to let him explain. I’m trembling with anger at Aaron. But as I walk through campus, my anger at Aaron gives way to panic, to confusion, and to anger at Mateo.

How could he not tell me??

Instead of going inside AOPi, I lock myself in my car and sob.